parenting

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Can We Just Be Open And Honest With Each Other? (Part 1)

December 15, 2013 at 3:49 pm , by 

3 years.

Dear Jack,

I feel like there’s this stereotype about fathers, that especially as they get older, they tend to have less of an open door policy with their sons.

And I get it.

By the time the two are both grown men, there’s almost this unspoken rule that the two can’t or shouldn’t talk to each other about serious stuff, involving the need for jpersonal advice… because they’re both grown men.

However, that’s the very reason theyshould depend on each other in that way.

For me personally, I can’t just talk toany guy friend about certain stuff.

My heart is very guarded. I know that may seem out of character for me, being that I appear to spill my guts out in these letters to you. But there’s a whole lot I keep private.

Rabbit trail here, but as I’m nearing my H.R. certification exam on January 11th, I’m planning to start focusing more time on writing songs again (which is why I moved to Nashville in the first place) because soon I won’t have to spend all my free time (which isn’t much) on studying. I can begin easing my way back into my forsaken hobby of creating music.

One of the songs I’m working on contains this line:

“I am a skeleton with meat on my bones/I walk around with secrets nobody knows.”

I think a lot of men feel that way. I think that’s why classic superheroes are so popular. Batman is the example that comes to my mind, immediately. In a way, superheroes compensate their own personal failures, fears, and insecurities by leading and helping others. It’s a great escape and a perfect distraction.

Yet still, they have received an emotional scar at some point in life that characterizes, and in some ways, defines who they are.

I can relate. I have an emotional scar or two. And I would actually be surprised to meet a man who didn’t feel that way about himself. It’s for that very reason it’s important you’ve always got other men to depend on, emotionally… or psychologically, or whatever you want to call it.

It’s not that I don’t trust other men, but  it does take a lot to make myself that emotionally vulnerable. It’s easier just to keep it inside and try to sort it out myself, a lot of the time.

I’m realizing I’ve got more to say about this than I realized, so let me put a bookmark right here. Go grab yourself a glass of water, then come back and read the rest of this letter.

To be continued…

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

People Who Have More Kids Than You Are Just Plain Crazy

November 9, 2013 at 8:16 am , by 

2 years, 11 months. (7 days from your 3rd birthday!)

Dear Jack,

Good Morning, Son. I’m actually writing you from Detroit today. That’s a bit unusual, huh?

I’ve been up here in Michigan for the past couple of days, as General Motors invited me to be part of their “Connected By OnStar” Immersion program.

Yesterday, while particating in a Twitter chat with other fellow parent bloggers, I learned two things:

1) We missed randomly meeting Jimmy Fallon by less than an hour, as proven by the “19h” and “20h” which explain how long ago the event took place:

The Decision. (American or Lafayette Coney)#Detroit#BOTHhttp://instagram.com/p/gdocXVvZ72/ 

Meanwhile, this is the group Daddy was with:

If there was any doubt @Mochadad proves the American Coney Dog wins!!#puremichigan#tmom @ American… http://instagram.com/p/gdiU3MiTXC/ 

(For what it’s worth, I invited Jimmy Fallon to dinner with us (via Twitter) but I later learned he had already flown to Chicago shortly after lunch. Hey, I tried!)

2) As we were sort of going around the room, telling each other how many kids we all had, and by default, comparing, this nugget of wisdom was born:

“People who have less kids than you don’t know what they’re missing… people who havemore kids than you are just plain crazy.”

As I’ve shared that quote with my Facebook friends and Twitter followers, they seemed to easily agree.

Of course, I was one of the parents in that Twitter chat who only has one child, with no definite plans of having another. So for me to agree with that statement, which I do, is to say that parents with even just two kids are crazier than I am!

And by crazy, I actually might mean… more disciplined and patient, exponentially as compared to me.

Or, maybe they really are just crazy… who knows?

But as for me, I can’t imagine taking two of my own kids to the zoo. I look at these “photo op fails” from our last trip to The Louisville Zoo and think how that was big enough of a challenge for me.

I loved it, don’t get me wrong, but, more than one kid- well, I guess I just don’t know what I’m missing.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

P.S. For more on “photo op fails”… click on this other letter I wrote to you back in the summer:

“Celebrating Photo Op Fails With My Kid”

 

Leave a comment Posted on marriage, parenting, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: New Infographic- Success is Not Just Hard Work — Your Social Opportunities Could Shape Your Future

3 years, 8 months.

Nashville family

Dear Jack,

There is (and should be) a certain amount of undeniable pressure as your parent to ensure you have great opportunities throughout your life; if not better than what I’ve had.

While it may sound petty or pretentious that I’ve been mentioning our goal to move into “a house in the right school district” here in Nashville, it’s something I feel I need to take seriously. I want you to have exposure to the best education and technology as I reasonably can.

I was one of the first in my family to get a college degree; that was a pretty big deal. But these days, it seems the 4 year college degree is now the high school diploma of 1981, the year I was born.

In other words, I realize for you to really get ahead in your career, Mommy and I are responsible for making sure we help you take advantage of the social opportunities you encounter along the way; as well as the ones you purposely seek out along the way.

This new infographic below, “Success is Not Just Hard Work — Your Social Opportunities Could Shape your Future,” points out some of the social opportunities that can really enhance your future and career:

Environment, technology, finances, culture, and lifestyle.

Now that I really think about it, these 5 particular elements are crucial to furthering your career.

For example, you can have a college degree with an MBA, but if you’re not extremely familiar with the culture you live in, or if you don’t live off a strict budget, you can still totally be set back.

So I take it upon myself, as your dad, to help you obtain a healthy balance of these social opportunities.

After all, the school system (as well as most universities) don’t value the importance of teaching their students how to do a personal budget.

But coming from your Mommy and Daddy, who just a few years ago were $58,000 in debt, and who are now in the positive enough to be “snowballing” the down payment for our new house, I promise we will teach you the value of a budget.

I agree with the title of the infographic: Success is not just hard work.

We’ll teach you everything we know, Son.

Social Opportunities
Source: SocialWorkDegreeGuide.com

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

The Reward For A Job Well Done Is More Hard Work

October 30, 2013 at 10:45 pm , by 

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting, Storytelling

You’re Not Entitled To Much In This Life, Except…

October 27, 2013 at 11:15 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Every once in a while, I try to take a break from narrating and bookmarking your life, and instead I like to share some advice on life, based on what I, as your dad, am experiencing.

Here is one of those things I especially want you to remember from me:

You’re not entitled to much in this life.

See, I am a child of the Eighties. Born in 1981, I am the firstborn of Generation Y.

Growing up, I was told by everyone, including every adult I knew, that I could do and become anything I dreamed of and put my heart into.

And I bought it. After all, I heard it all the time!

Yes, I do indeed believe that you, my son, can do and become anything you dream of.

But at the same time, I don’t want you taking that as simply as I did.

Because then there’s a chance your dreams will remain dreams, if you do. There’s a chance you may believe that making dreams come true is actually easier than it is.

It’s not easy.

I had to work very hard (and very smart) to get where I am in life.

But I admit, something that life has taught me, especially since joining the career world nearly a decade ago, is that basically, I’m entitled to… not a lot.

I used to believe I deserved certain things in life. I believed that because (at least in my own mind) I’m a “good person,” that meant I would be the automatic recipient of a somewhat easier path to my definition of success.

It has only been in recent years that I fully realized and accepted this is not so easily the case. Sure, I’m special, as every person is, but as far as being entitled to things in life because of it, I’ve found more of the opposite to be true.

Because if everyone is special, then it takes a lot more work to prove that you, as an individual, really are that special. (Hence the concept behind American Idol.)

So I had to lower my expectations on certain things in life. That happened by me nixing the belief that I am entitled to anything.

In fact, what exactly am I entitled to? That’s a deep thought- and right now, I honestly don’t know the answer.

Life is challenging. But as long as I am here in this life, you will have me not only rooting you on, but being that (sometimes annoying) person to also show you the fundamentals on how to make your dreams come true.

Based on what I know, it has a lot to do with capitalizing on what you’re already best at, while at the same time overcoming the challenges (and fears) of your weaknesses and not letting them be the reason you don’t get what you want in life.

I also know a lot of success in life has to do with money management, not simply making money: It’s crucial to become debt-free, then save and invest your money for the rest of your life.

You will always be hearing me preach this lesson to you because it was only this past July that our family worked our way out of over $58,000 of debt, now being able to save our money; and in the future, to be able to start investing it.

So that’s what you’ve got ahead of you, a life of hard (and smart) work.

You’re not entitled to much in this life, except… my direction and encouragement on how to work for dreams, not wait on or expect them.

You’re entitled to me passionately supporting your dreams, but you’re the one in the driver’s seat. I’m just reading the GPS to you.

You’re entitled to my love and support. I know that much.

 

Love,

Daddy