culture

1 Comment Posted on Storytelling, Uncategorized

Currently Uber Popular Status Update Phrases: One. Word. Sentences.

I. Am. Trendy.

Would you like to make a very mediocre event into something seemingly noteworthy?  Thanks to one word sentences on your Facebook status updates, it’s not only easy, but it’s super trendy and cool!  Just condense your message to three words, then put periods after each word.  For example, you just watched a snazzy episode of Glee and you want everyone to know it- but you want to make them ask you about it.

For your status update on Facebook, and/or on Twitter, just type “Best. Show. Ever.”  Then a few people will start asking you, “What show?”  Shortly after, through follow-up comments, you will be able to tell everyone how Glee or Grey’s Anatomy has “changed your life”.

It’s that easy to become that cool.  Some other proven one word sentences you can try…

“Worst. Week.  Ever.”

“Crazy. Amazing. Blessed.”

…and my personal favorite…

“Superglue.  Eyelids.  Mistake.”

70 Comments Posted on Nostalgia, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Spring Cleaning and Closet Purging: If You Haven’t Worn That Item of Clothing Within the Past Year, You’re Not Going to Wear It This Year Either, So Get Rid of It!

This black vest I wore at my 10 Year Class Reunion two years ago is now in the give-way bag. (June 2009)

I am in the third week of my new job.  That means I have now worn all my best quality and best matching “outfits” to work.  It’s  during week three that the mediocre stuff comes out of the closet.  Those weird-fitting collared shirts that pooch out in the stomach and make me look 30 pounds heavier.  The sweaters that are a little too short and expose my belt.  The purple shirt.

And for the fact that we are official in Spring now, I’m taking full advantage of my current “Spring Cleaning” mindset: This week as I wear the clothes in my closet that I don’t wear often, at the end of each day I am choosing officially whether to get rid of it (by giving it away) or keeping it.  For example, today I wore my khaki vest to work.  I think I’ve realized I like the idea of vests more than I actually like wearing them.  When I got home today, the khaki vest went into the give-way bag.

Despite the fact I bought this sweater in 2006, it still deserves a place in my closet now in 2011. (April 2011 at my sister's last day of work before leaving on maternity)

For me, I often keep items of clothes too long because of my pride of how long I’m able to keep them around.  But styles change and so do the ways things are supposed to fit.  Jeans from five years ago are going to be lighter and baggier than jeans I buy now.  Some clothes are nearly timeless; most are not.  Feel free to join me in my closet purging campaign:

If You Haven’t Worn That Item of Clothing Within the Past Year, You’re Not Going to Wear It This Year Either, So Get Rid of It!

Goodbye, Black Vest of June 2009. We had a good run.

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Why Nick Shell is a Big Fan of Boost Mobile’s “Is That the Talking Dog?” Commercial (Because It’s a Lot Like “Portlandia” with Fred Armisen)

Weird people who are subtle and seemingly familiar are wonderfully entertaining.

There must be a certain off-beat frequency that both old people and residents of Portland, Oregon are evidently tuned in to.  It apparently causes them to bring up the most bizarre and irrelevant conversation topics.  I believe that specific strangeness is characterized in Boost Mobile’s “Unwronged Pet Carrier” commercial which is simply recognized by most of us as “that weird cell phone commercial with the Dave Grohl wannabe pulling the luggage cart and the sort of half-Venezuelan looking guy that says, ‘Is that the talking dog?'”

I am constantly subconsciously trying to figure out: What talking dog? The guy uses the word “the” instead of “a” as the article referring to the dog.  It’s not just any dog; it’s one particular famous talking dog.  So what famous talking dog is he referring to that I somehow missed on my facebook feed?

Some could say that this mysterious reference to a talking dog would be a cause for me to be annoyed by the commercial.  But no; I recognize this as a clever marketing technique which I feel is a successful effort to relate to people who appreciate subculture-acknowledging commercials.  For people who include Garden State in their top ten list of movies and The Office in their top ten list of TV shows.  And who blocked Farmville within the first two weeks of its existence.

For those of us who appreciate the talking dog commercial (which coincidentally are the same kind of people who found this post and are currently reading it now) I think it’s safe to say that most of us could easily picture one of our grandma’s actually saying “Is that the talking dog?” during dinner.  The talking dog commercial is subtle yet memorable.  Granted, I’ve been with Verizon Wireless for 10 years now and have no intentions on ever switching, but I definitely want to publicly thank the cool people at the whatever marketing agency who gave us the talking dog gem of a commercial.

What is “Portlandia”?  Now’s your chance to find out…

8 Comments Posted on People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Effective Immediately: New Facebook Game- I Am Now Deleting Friends Who Complain About Monday’s

The rules:  A) You complain about Monday’s, I delete you.  B) You never complain about Monday’s, we continue to be facebook friends forever.

There are so many tempting games available for facebook users these days. Farmville is the main one that comes to mind.  But after blocking Farmville on my facebook feed, I didn’t have to worry about it anymore.  I’m in the mood to start playing a facebook game now, however.  The thing is, I invented this game. Here’s how it works:

Anytime I see any of my facebook friends complain about Monday’s, I will immediately delete them.  There is a reason behind this.

In a time where not everyone is fortunate enough to have a job, I don’t want to hear anyone even jokingly complain how about having to go to work on Monday. Because when people whine about Monday’s, they are ultimately complaining about having to get out of bed, go to work, and get paid.  Not all of us have that option.

Just to be sure, I will delete anyone who uses any of these phrases or anything close to them:

“I got a case of the Monday’s!”

“Ugh…Monday!”

“Darn you, Monday!”

“Dear Monday, I could sure live without you!”

There are a few exceptions of people who I will not delete for complaining about Monday’s.  I have a collection of guy friends that I cyber-bully regularly.  After reading this notice, they would probably complain about Monday’s just to despite me and to test if I am serious about playing the game.  So if you are one of the following dudes, you are immune to my game.  I will not delete you just to spite you:

Ben Wilder, Jarred Johnson, Kenn Snipes, Brian Winkles, and Dave Stanley

Just so everyone is clear on the rules, I will not delete anyone for celebrating the coming of the weekend. That’s not the same as complaining about Monday, which again, alludes to whining about having a job to go to in the first place.  If you have a job, thank the good Lord for it.  Even your boss is a jerk, you hate your job, and/or your job doesn’t pay enough money.

If I delete you for complaining about Monday’s, the only way you can be welcomed back in the fold is by submitting a 200 word essay explaining why I should accept your friend request.  Bribes are encouraged.

This is an open game.  Anyone is welcome to join.

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, People, Spirituality, Storytelling, Uncategorized

The Dichotomy of Man: Why Super Heroes and Alter Egos are Embedded into Popular Culture (Featuring Dexter Morgan and the Characters of LOST)

The man in the mirror has a dark side.

I am not a comic book nerd.  Instead, I am simply an American who is well aware of our nation’s love and fascination of super heroes.  So why are we so obsessed with men who fly around with their underwear outside their clothes, while pretending to be an insect or animal?  Why do their movies make hundreds of millions, thanks to both kids and adults alike? Because super heroes reflect us normal human beings: inside and out.

Here’s what you need to know (and probably already subconsciously know) about super heroes.

1- They save good people from bad people.

2- They have a mysterious and troubled past.

3- They have super powers, skills, abilities, or insight.

4- They sometimes struggle with discerning good from evil, as they realize they are in some ways evil themselves.

5- They have at least one major arch nemesis.

6- They wear some sort of costume.

7- They have an alter ego; or at least a side of them they hide from most people.

8- They find it difficult to have meaningful relationships and friendships with others.  (If nothing else, their schedule does not allow for it.)

9- They have a debilitating weakness.

10- They were created by Jewish writers.  (Spiderman, Superman, Batman, Iron Man, The Hulk, Wonder Woman, LOST, Dexter, and even the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… It’s pretty difficult to find an exception.)

Maybe it seems a bit of a stretch to consider the characters of LOST as super heroes, but several of them had mysterious powers (at least on the island), they helped each other survive, and they all had some kind of trouble in their past that not only defined them but also that continued to be a struggle.  And while that does make for good development on the show, it also is a concept that most of us can relate to.  It’s not just the obvious “are they are good guy or a bad guy?” characters like Ben Linus and Sayid Jarrah who struggled with their own consciouses and gray area moral dilemmas.  Even seemingly innocent characters like Sun Kwon had a hidden (but shady) alter ego.

This dichotomy of man, the “man has two sides” concept, is also very obvious in the Showtime series Dexter.  Yes, he is a serial killer.  But Dexter only tracks down and kills serial killers and rapists (though he eventually kills a few innocent victims by mistake).  Admittedly, I myself never killed anyone, yet I relate to the show deeply.  I’ve even read that males, in particular, live with a constant struggle of feeling inadequate- like an imposter who is about to be found out for who they really are. Aside from any basic religious aspects, at some point in life we end up asking and answering the question, “Am I ultimately a good person or a bad person?”

Are we simply adding to the noise? And for those who do realize that they are ultimately more bad then they are good, are they willing to change, or will they simply accept whatever eternal fate that may befall them? The concept of good versus evil is one we are subconsciously obsessed with.  It’s true: We as humans are both good and bad. The same person who steals your credit card information today may thoughtlessly save life a stranger’s life tomorrow.  We are both saints and sinners; but it’s ultimately the identity which we allow to consume us that is our true identity.

So it makes sense that we relate the idea of having an alter ego.  We display a different version of ourselves at work for 8 hours or more each day.  We have to, in order to survive in that environment.  We all must have “tweakable” perspectives and personalities.  You can’t treat your child the same way your treat your boss.  You can’t reveal the same vulnerability to coworker as you must to your spouse.

We know we are supposed to just be ourselves and never really hide who we truly are.  But that’s simply not reality.  In a sense, the reality is that we are ultimately all super heroes with alter egos…  Unless you are one of the true villains of the world.