Storytelling

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How Do Parents Leave Their Kids Alone In A Hot Car?!

August 8, 2012 at 10:39 pm , by 

(The next day I answered this question with “Kid Still In The Car Seat” Awareness. Read it if you are curious to see if my view changed on this subject. Hint: It did.)

20 months.

I think I already know the answer: You sort of have to be crazy.

Right?

Today a news story popped up about a 25 year-old mom who left her two toddlers in the car while she went back inside the house to take an hour nap. When the mom returned to her car, her children were dead.

The problem with this story is that it’s too familiar. It’s not really that unique, unfortunately.

I feel like I hear of slightly different version of this happening a couple times every summer.

Assuming the mom in that particular story wasn’t insane, on bath salts, or demon possessed, I tried to imagine if I could ever end up in her position.

As soon as I heard about the story while I was at work today, I immediately reminded myself of this morning’s events:

“Okay, you definitely dropped off Jack at daycare this morning because as soon as you plopped him down, his friend Sophie started growling at him like she was a dinosaur, then immediately offered him a cup to play with. Yes, that was this morning. Not yesterday. You didn’t leave your son alone in the car in the parking lot… Whew!”

Even then, since that moment, I have questioned myself on whether or not I could ever become one of those parents who leaves their kid alone in a hot car.

I try to imagine a worst case scenario where I drive straight to work and forget Jack in the back seat because he was really quiet and content the whole time, which caused me to fall into a state of surreal solitude. I mean, life is stressful, could that ever happen to me?

Nah.

Here’s why. Every time another one of these “parent left their kid alone in a hot car” story surfaces, it always ends up that the parent was less than a dependable and respected member of society.

There’s always something shady going on with them to begin with.

I’ve yet to hear of this happening where a “normal parent” like one of us finds themselves in a situation like this.

Until then, I think I’ll be able to keep myself out of a Shawshank Redemption kind of setting.

But really, I don’t know, do non-crazy parents end up leaving their kids alone in the car?

Do they?

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Risk Management: Being My Kid’s Bodyguard

August 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm , by 

20 months.

Anytime I’ve ever heard another parent say “I just let him out of my sight for one second…” it never turns out to be a delightful story.

So as to prevent myself from ever saying that phrase, it’s simple:

I never let my son out of my sight for one second.

Obviously, he goes to daycare during the day and he sleeps in his own bedroom at night.

But what I mean is that as long as he and I are in the same room or as long as he’s with me out in public, I am the kid’s bodyguard.

I believe that all of us as human beings were born with a nature that causes us to want to, by default, make destructive decisions.

No parent ever has to teach their child to lie or to be disobedient.

While we also have a nature that causes us to want to be good and help others, we still are often driven towards destruction in our thoughts which lead to actions.

Likewise, I know my son will run straight for the cars in the street or into the crowd at the store unless I physically restrain him from doing so.

My verbal warnings aren’t yet enough for my toddler son.

He is all but handcuffed to me because at this point, I can’t trust him to keep himself from hurting himself.

Not to mention that as a father of a son, I’m acutely aware of the fact that a boy’s chance of surviving to adulthood is a lot less than a girl’s.

Mark J. Penn, in his book, Microtrends, explains it this way, in regards to statistics done here in America:

“There are about 90,000 more boys born every year than girls, setting up a favorable dating ratio. But by the time those kids turn 18, the sex ratio has shifted a full point the other way to 51 to 49, because more boys die in puberty than girls. Researchers call it a “testosterone storm,” which causes more deaths among boys from car accidents, homicides, suicides, and drownings.”

I don’t mean to be morbid or grandiose, but I think about that. I should.

Whenever I’m with my son, even in a seemingly safe environment, in my head I have to constantly be thinking, “What’s the worst that could happen right now?

Simple risk management.

Because sure enough, the moment I don’t ask myself that would be the day I would find out.

I’m not sure if I really am an overprotective dad or not.

After seeing these pictures of how I let my son play with big wooden stick, I bet some readers out there are actually thinking the opposite about me.

But that’s part of the paradox:

I’m his dad. I’m supposed to encourage his adventurous spirit. And I really like that part of my job as a dad.

Hey, I want to have fun too.

As long as it’s not too much fun.

(Kids, don’t try this at home. Unless your dad is there watching you through the camera as he encourages your adventurous spirit.)

 

 

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Hostage Negotiation With My Son’s Blanket/Girlfriend, Mimi

August 4, 2012 at 11:20 pm , by 

20 months.

This is my son, Jack. As you can see, he is a very happy little boy.

Especially with Mimi by his side. That’s his blanket/girlfriend.

We have no idea how she got that name.

Yes, I do recognize the absurdity in the fact that my wife and I daily refer to this thin little blanket A) as a female and B) by an actual human name.

One day a few months ago he just starting calling it Mimi. None of his friends at daycare have a Mimi and his teachers didn’t know anything about it either.

And even despite knowing that Jack is fairly limited in what consonant sounds he can make so far, I just can’t figure out how “Mimi” could translate into “blanket.”

Therefore, Mimi is a proper noun. I base her gender on the way he acts like he’s in love with her… or it.

Mimi is on every car ride. She’s always there during playtime. During dinner too.

We do draw some lines, like bath time.

Interestingly, right after he gets out of the bath, his devotion briefly changes to Tara, the bath towel we dry our son off with.

Basically though, he’s just imaging that Tara as Mimi since Mimi doesn’t really like the water.

What’s really funny though, in the likeness of Michelle Tanner on Full House, what Jack somehow doesn’t realize is that there are actually two Mimi’s!

The other one is actually blue and has little dogs all over it. (It’s true when they say that love is blind.)

We just alternate the two blankets every couple of days so that Mimi is always clean.

Since turning Jack’s car seat around, facing the front now, Mimi has found herself a hostage victim on a near daily basis.

About halfway home from daycare most days, Jack will “drop” his water cup or some random toy from his back seat collection. (Basically he gets bored and wants my attention.)

He then says “uh oh” as if it were an accident, though it never is. Five seconds later, it’s a constant stream of him annoyingly whining.

I explain to him every time:

“Jack, I’m driving right now and it’s my job to keep both of us safe. I can’t reach what you’ve dropped because the car is moving. Once we get to the next stop light, I might be able to reach it for you.”

Usually the whining persists after my clear and logical explanation. So I give him a 2nd and final warning:

“Jack, just chill out and have fun back there. Otherwise, I’m going to have to take Mimi.”

If he’s feeling adventurous, which he usually his, then he continues his distracting moaning to see if I will live up to my word.

I always do.

Then I reach back and grab Mimi as my hostage in the front passenger seat. I wait about 2 minutes, during which time Jack responds:

“Mimi! Mi-mi! Mimi! My Mimi!…”.

Once I return Mimi, all is good in the world and Jack completely forgets about whatever stupid plastic cow that “fell” out of his cup holder in the first place.

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What Are Ways To Avoid Hiring A Babysitter?

August 3, 2012 at 11:42 pm , by 

20 months.

Yes, I’m cheap.

I don’t pay for cable; we have “bunny ears” allowing us to pick up the major networks.

And I refuse to have Internet on my phone because I would constantly be distracted by the thought of what I am missing out on. Plus, I’m too cheap to pay for it.

Needless to say, I won’t hire a babysitter.

This week on my favorite radio station, WAY-FM, they were talking about the average hourly rate to pay a babysitter for one kid being $12.75.

Coincidentally, I heard about a clever idea a restaurant here in Nashville is starting this weekend:

Any parent who drops their child off at The Children’s Playroom will receive a $10 coupon to Sperry’s Restaurant, and after parents redeem the coupon at Sperry’s they’ll receive a $5 coupon for The Children’s Playroom.

The fact that businesses are getting involved to help give parents a way to have a fun night out without their kid is proof that many of us parents A) have a desire to go out and have fun without having to worry about the kids but B) don’t won’t the hassle of hiring a babysitter.

Considering I pay over 200 bucks a week for professionals to watch my kid for more hours per week than I’m actually with him myself, I can’t justify dropping any more “Zack Morris bucks” for babysitting.

The obvious way to avoid hiring a babysitter is to take advantage of the times your family comes to visit. We always plan a date night around these times. Doesn’t everybody?

Another plan we participate in is we have a deal with a friend who lives nearby:

We wait until we put our son to bed at 7:00, then she comes over and enjoys access to our Netflix account on our Wii, which only costs us like $9 a month so I’m not too cheap for it.

While she relaxes and watches a movie on our couch, we get to go out for dinner. Granted, since our son is asleep the whole time upstairs, she’s really house-sitting more than she is baby-sitting. And we always bring her dessert.

Another scheme we have done is going in shifts. If our friends are having a party that starts at 7:00, which as I just mentioned, is our son’s bedtime, then as I’m putting him to bed for the night, my wife will enjoy the first half of the party. When she returns, I tag-team her out.

So we both get to see our friends at the party; just not as a couple. But like it matters, because even if we showed up together, we’d end up talking to different people anyway.

My last idea to avoid hiring a babysitter is to hang out at the house of one of your kid’s friends with their parents. Between 4 adults and 2 kids, you’re never really having to pay as much attention to your own kid as you would if you would at your own house without company.

Whereas normally you’d be at like 100%, in the company of other parents you only have to be at like 35%.

Your kid gets to hang out with a friend and you get to hang out with that kid’s parents; assuming they’re cool.

It’s okay to be too cheap to hire a sitter. Do you have any ideas you’d like to share? I may steal them from you.

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My Son Likes The Color Pink But Not Fairies

August 1, 2012 at 7:41 pm , by 

20 months.

Today a fellow coworker announced to our office, “Who wants a new coloring book?”

“I’ll take it,” I instantly replied. Evidently it was a gag gift, having been cleared out from the desk of a recently fired employee.

What made this the ultimate goofy prize is that it was a pony fairy coloring book. For little girls.

But I figured, what’s the difference? I would just hand it to Jack when I picked him up from daycare and he would think I was some herofor getting him a new coloring book for no reason.

It’s not like he would care that the thing featured dozens of girly, winged ponies.

And I was right. But how exactly did he entertain himself with this princess pony coloring book in the back seat of my car?

By ferociously grabbing the pages and ripping them out like a T-Rex to his prey.

Jack does not like fairies.

Similarly, as Sesame Street plays in the background at our house during playtime on the weekends, Jack will stop what he’s doing and say, “Elmo? Elmo!”

That means the “Abby’s Flying Fairy School” segment is on. We have to fast forward to the next part of the episode that features Elmo, or at least a more traditional Muppet.

Again, Jack does not like fairies.

Well, except for that ball he has. On one of their more recent trips here to Nashville, my parents treated Jack to a trip to Target. He found this little dark green ball, about the size of a racquetball. So they bought it for him.

After getting back to our house, they took a closer look at this ball they perceived as a toy for little boys: “Disney Fairies.” Yep, there was Tinkerbell doing her fairy thing.

And speaking of less than masculine toy balls, there’s the fact that last week when Jack and Jill were visiting family up in Pennsylvania, Jill wanted to buy Jack a soccer ball. So she let him pick one out.

Which one did he chose? A pink miniature Nike soccer ball designed for little girls.

Jill swapped it for the red, white, and blue version.

So Jack likes to play with sports balls; even if they’re pink. He doesn’t discriminate. And you may be able to get away with sneaking  Tinkerbell on the ball as long as the rest of the ball looks masculine enough.

But fairies in a coloring book or hogging up Sesame Street air time? That’s crossing the line.

For me, it’s interesting to sort of stand back and watch him on his own discern what is too feminine for his liking.

At 20 months old, his instincts are already guiding him as he figures out which toys are for boys, which are for girls, and which can be for both.

But this he knows: Fairies in plain sight are always for girls.