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“You May Be Right” Shrugs Off Unwanted Parenting Advice

August 25, 2012 at 9:51 pm , by 

21 months.

I am convinced that the best way to get someone to stop nagging you with their wrong opinion in regards to unsolicited parenting advice is just to simply smile and respond with, “You may be right.”

If they still go on rambling in an attempt to convert you, just said it again; this time raising your eyebrows and smiling even bigger.

You can even throw in peripheral phrases like “I think I might have read a blog about that recently” or “I’ll have to check that out.”

We live in a time when “I don’t agree with you” translates to some people as “I hate you.”

So if a person is already passionate about a polarizing parenting topic that I either A) already have a strong opinion on or B) am indifferent about, I’d rather just move on as quickly as possible to the next conversation topic, as opposed to becoming the next victim of a parenting extremist‘s solicitation speech.

Sometimes it’s just too much hassle to admit with someone that you disagree with them.

I don’t mean to sound like a person without passion and conviction. Because I am very passionate about the things that matter to me; likewise, I am extremely indifferent about the things I don’t care about or care to change.

“You may be right” is clever because it is also undeniably true.

No matter how firmly set I am in my opinions and stances on things like the kind of food I feed my kid or how I choose to discipline him, I could easily be wrong.

I am aware of that at all time. Whether the experts and scientific research support my view or not, still, I may be wrong.

Therefore, the other person with a different perspective as mine may very easily be right.

How arrogant of me to assume that I’m right most of the time about stuff. Or even half the time.

I might as well just assume, at best, I’m only right 49% of the time.

Granted, I want to be right, but I overanalyze stuff a lot.

Like when I half-jokingly wrote a post about hand-cuffing my son on the way to time-out.

It just seems weird to me that in the eyes of parents like me who are “non-spankers” it’s okay to discipline your child by physically restraining them by exiling them to time-out, as opposed to physically striking them.

Yet somehow the idea of taking physical restraint a step further and putting handcuffs on your kid is absurd.

I see double standards there. I see norms based on tradition. And I question that. I question myself.

So, I may be wrong about a lot of my parenting perspectives. The other people may be right.

And when I give them confirmation of that, it helps skip the annoying conversation topic I don’t want to be involved in, like a chapter on a DVD.

I’m such an impatient Millennial parent.

 

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Teaching My Son To Be A Modern Day Southern Gentleman

August 23, 2012 at 10:47 pm , by 

21 months.

“Jack, be gentle.”

Every time I tell my son that in an effort to help him transition his playful hits into gentle pats, I feel that I should also tell him to be nimble, quick, and to jump over the candlestick.

Of course, somehow I don’t think my son is yet qualified to jump over a candlestick.

His most recent accomplishment is graduating from a focused obsession on Elmo; now also including Ernie and The Count as part of his Sesame Street favorites.

“Five. Ah. Ah. Ah.”

Jack always says it so seriously. And he never actually counts before or after the number 5. Just 5. About three times in a row.

I love teaching my son new things. And fortunately, he loves learning from me.

It’s only natural as a parent to want to prepare your child to become everything you wished you were by the proper age. In particular, I am very aware that I am always thinking of how I can instill in my son how to be an all around gentleman.

(Because we live in Nashville, I feel the need to add the word “Southern” in front of the word “gentleman” to get the full effect.)

Even if right now the greatest lesson I can teach him is to not hit his friends like he’s in some kind of Toddler Fight Club…

I look forward to the day when I start giving him advice on how to talk to girls. Because let’s face it: I’m good at it. (That’s how I met his mother.)

And though my skills as a handyman aren’t much better than the token goofball 1980′s sitcom dad, I think it will be really fun to (try to) teach him how to fix stuff around the house.

Just as important as knowing how to use a wrench and a power drill, I believe, is knowing how to keep a tidy house.

I’ve read enough trendy Ecards on Facebook to know that being a true, relevant gentleman in today’s culture means being very active in the household chores.

Yes, I want my son to be able to caulk a bathroom sink. But I also want him to be a natural at cleaning that sink along with the shower and toilets.

As for myself, I feel that I am really good at a couple things, and am fairly clueless on the rest.

That’s not how I want it to be for my son. I want him to be a jack-of-all-trades and a master of some.

On top of that, I believe it’s also largely up to me to teach him how to treat people with respect; thinking of them before himself, while at the same time being able to stand up and fight for himself when necessary.

I figure, too, that in my attempts to teach him all these things, I can become better at them myself.

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Toddler Fight Club: “No Pinching, Only Punching”

August 22, 2012 at 11:27 pm , by 

21 months.

While listening to The Wally Show this week, I heard about this buzzing story of a real life fight club… for toddlers!

Apparently at a daycare center calledHands Of Our Future in Dover, Delaware, three female workers have been accused of and arrested for encouraging 3 year-old toddlers to fight each other; being told, “No pinching, only punching…”.

A cell phone captured the evidence as a toddler turned to an adult for protection only to be pushed into the fight.

Unfortunately, those “hands of our future” were being taught to punch and hit.

My first thought was, “Wow, that’s incredibly sad to think about! What if my son was ever in that situation?”

My next thought was, “I wonder if like in the movie Fight Club, there are other Toddler Fight Clubs scattered across the United States…”.

Because seriously, if three adult daycare workers supported a Toddler Fight Club in Delaware, of all random places, what are the odds that was the only place it has happened and is happening?

Granted, there is no justification in forcing toddlers to injure each other, but what could have possibly been in it for these three women?

Bragging rights? That’s beyond messed up.

A crazy news story like this only feeds into the imagination of parents like us who have to send their kids todaycare for more waking hours than we get to spend with them ourselves.

Fortunately, I have a lot of trust in my son’s daycare center. Enough to know that if he comes home with a bruise, it’s because he fell down while playing with a toy; not because he was involved in a Toddler Fight Club.

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My Son Sleeps Like A Baked Potato (Or A Taco Town Taco)

August 20, 2012 at 11:01 pm , by 

21 months.

“Oh! You have the son that sleeps like a baked potato!” That’s what someone said to my wife at a birthday party a few weeks ago.

She and her husband had just met me downstairs and somehow I ended up explaining how Jack looks whenever I go to check on him at night before I go to bed.

When he sleeps, I just imagine my son as a baked potato, half-wrapped in foil, with butter, sour cream, chives, and pepper. He always has his back curled in away from me, like a little amoeba.

Please know that as I say these obscure things about my toddler son, I say them adoringly. I mean, what’s not to love about a baked potato? Everybody loves a baked potato!

Jack officially became a baked potato when he was three months old. That’s when he got this completely unflattering pajama looking-thing that made me embarrassed for him to be wearing it. Even if it was only at night. (Pictured below.)

A year and a half later I have fully embraced, and now celebrate, how he looks like a baked potato when he sleeps.

Jack also makes me think of that Taco Town commercial on Saturday Night Live; where they advertise a taco wrapped in a tortilla, wrapped in a burrito, wrapped in a corn husk, wrapped in a pizza, wrapped in a blueberry pancake.

I’m the one who puts Jack to sleep for naps and bedtime: He has to be holding his water cup, a toy, and his Mimi (thin security blanket) all while wrapped up in a regular blanket.

Without all of those peripherals, there is no chance of him even thinking about falling asleep.

Yet still, once he actually does fall asleep, it’s often in the most uncomfortable-looking positions. Sometimes he’s balled up in his baked potato position with his head mashed up in the corner of his bed.

Other times, his ankle will be caught in the wooden bars of the crib.

You would think this would lead to a night of restless sleep. But how does Jack sleep?

Like a rock.

Or maybe more like a baked potato.

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5 Ways The Wally Show Helps Pessimistic Parents Like Me

August 16, 2012 at 11:44 pm , by 

21 months.

As a dad, I definitely have my dark, pessimistic side. I feel like way too often, this quote by comedian Louis C.K. perfectly summarizes my outlook:

“The hardest thing about having kids is the days that you spend with them. That’s really the hardest part. It’s just everyday that you have them.”

In other words, parenting is tough. How do I make it? More importantly, how do other people make it?

If we knew all the answers on what to do as parents, I suppose we wouldn’t be reading blogs like this.

But not only do I not have the answers, I don’t have the patience nor enough of a positive attitude. I just don’t, on my own.

By default, I’m way too greedy when it comes my sense of personal free time; which doesn’t help when you’re trying to take care of another little human being.

Plus, I get easily irritated (and grouchy the next day) when I can’t sleep through the night without having to get up a few times to soothe my son back to sleep.

I don’t simply mean these things annoy me: I’m saying they anger me. I don’t like that about myself.

These tendencies of mine keep me from being the dad I want to be.

Strangely though, the best help I found was when I re-programed my radio to WAY-FM, a national, non-profit broadcasting network which features The Wally Show.

Here are 5 reasons why keeping my car radio on a station like this as I drive my son around in the car helps me to be a better dad:

1. Relevant conversations. I get my news updates (and lot of my blog topics) from The Wally Show‘s real conversations about real life events going on; from buzzing parenting topics to pop culture.

2. Positive, yet realistic attitudes. It has become very evident to me that since changing to this station, starting and ending my work day with it, a lot of my own negativity has been re-wired. I catch myself thinking about encouraging nuggets of knowledge I heard on their show when before, I would have focused on the negative instead.

3. Solid, uplifting music. While the songs played in between conversations are largely Christian, they are more importantly positive. Sure, they play stuff like MercyMe’s “I Can Only Imagine,” but they also play Mat Kearney’s “Down” as well.

4. Good humor. I can always use a laugh, and I always get it when I have this show on. Just look at Wally’s wedding photo (above) for the evidence. I used to be a Free Beer and Hot Wings kind of guy. But now I can listen to goofy comedy and still have a clear conscience for the rest of the day.

5. Opportunities to help others.The Wally Show is a big supporter and fund-raiser for Blood:Water Mission, a grassroots organization that empowers communities to work together against the HIV/AIDS and water crises in Africa.

Simply put, listening to The Wally Show, as opposed to the average radio station, integrates positivity into my life. And I am an often pessimistic parent who needs that kind of reinforcement that lasts throughout the day.

There’s a really good chance you live in an area where you can pick up The Wally Show on your radio. Click these colorful words to see a list of cities and find out for sure.

Worst case scenario: You can still very easily listen to The Wally Show‘s podcasts by clicking these colorful words if you happen to live in one of the few cities that doesn’t have radio access to the show.

While I’m at it, I want to remind you that you are invited to learn 8 Non-Religious Reasons To Take Your Kids To Church to help add even more positive vibes in your hectic life as a parent.

Here’s the kind of music played on The Wally Show; this song in particular relates to being a parent: