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The Daddy Diaper Bag: Okiedog Review

April 20, 2013 at 6:04 am , by 

2 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

Thursday morning as we pulled out of the neighborhood, you asked me:

“What’s that sound, Daddy?”

Minutes later, a man in a pick-up truck next to me motioned to my back tire. Fortunately, we happened to be very close to a WalMart, where we learned my tire had a big silver nail in it and that the tire would have to be replaced.

For months now, I have meaning to get my own diaper bag to keep in my car for you.

Given that you and I spend at least 7 hours a week together in my car, it makes sense that I should have a “daddy diaper bag” to remain with me wherever I am with you.

Interestingly enough, Thursday morning happened to be the morning I placed my new daddy diaper bag in my car, in the seat next to you. Then minutes later, the flat tire situation happened.

So during the 2 and a half hour event, I had books, toys, snacks, and of course, diapers for you; right there all in one place. It’s strange to think that before this week, I didn’t even carry diapers with me in my car!

But now, we’re all set. And not only do I have a daddy diaper bag, I actually have a really nice, trendy one from OkieDog.

I noticed that the particular bag I chose, the Urban Sphinx, is specifically designed for a man. Just like the way a man compartmentalizes his thoughts in a very cut-and-dry manner, the bag is evidently designed this way too.

The bag actually reminds me of my car itself, a Honda Element, in that it is simple, practical, efficient, and very low-maintenance.

Those are all adjectives that, as a man, are important to me in describing things I own.

Like a Honda Element, my daddy diaper bag contains no cloth or fabric, making it very easy to clean.

It has a plastic carabiner-type device on a key ring behind the main flap, making it very easy to find my keys. (That’s why I hate Mommy’s purse… I always have to dig around for her keys!)

Something else that made me smile about my daddy diaper bag is that it comes with a couple smaller zippered bags; perfect for wet wipes or snacks.

I like how nothing about it is hidden: All the pockets and compartments are easily visible and obtainable. (I am assuming it was designed by a man because everything about it speaks to me in my language?)

In other words, nothing about it reminds me of a purse, like our other diaper bag.

Son, this is our masculine diaper bag. It has already experienced its first adventure with the two of us.

Here’s to many more father and son adventures! Hopefully, they won’t involve me buying a new tire for my car…

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Attention Dadabase Readers: Here’s a coupon code that gives you a 10% discount on orders from the okiedog.com site: 2296.  

It will be good through the end of May 2013. Also, Okiedog will soon be offering free shipping on all products to Amazon Prime members.

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Only From A Dream Can You Wake To Light

April 12, 2013 at 6:53 pm , by 

2 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

Yesterday morning as Mommy came to your bed to wake you up, you made a special request:

“Mater Juice! I want my Mater Juice! Where’s my Mater Juice?”

It would take the rest of the morning before you yourself began to possibly consider that whatever exactly “Mater Juice” was, it was something you had dreamed about.

I assume it’s the kind of juice that Mater from Cars drinks; which I would assume is motor oil. I’m confident you’re not referring to tomato juice.

The last time I considered that you have dreams was back when you were just a newborn and I wrote a post called Funny Faces and Baby Dreams:

“He often slips in and out of sleep when I stare at him.  I try to imagine what he is dreaming about, as his face tells the seemingly same story every time.  The dream starts out with Baby Jack petting a friendly puppy (Jack always starts his dreams smiling).  Then a mean dog comes along and scares Jack and the friendly puppy (that’s when Jack has a worried look on his face).  Lastly, the dream ends with him drinking milk or pooping (as he either starts ‘rooting’ or grunting, accordingly).  What else would a baby dream about anyway?”

My understanding is that a dream is the unfinished processing of what the mind is preoccupied with. Therefore, your “Mater Juice” dream might simply be showing that in your recent obsession of monster trucks, you are now realizing you neglected Mater’s Tall Tales on our Netflix streaming cue. Also, with all the aftermath of your remaining Easter candy, Mommy and I haven’t let you drink any watered-down juice here lately.

In addition to Mommy and I learning about your dreams, we are also exposed to your playful imagination. Tonight as Mommy put you to bed, you proclaimed:

“I see a mouse. He’s dancing on the ceiling. And a man- he’s walking a bear.”

Or maybe that was simply you fading into a dream state while still awake.

Coincidentally in the midst of your leftover dreams and “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” sorts of visions, I just watched a very captivating episode of Mad Men(Season 5) called “Far Away Places” and I’m trying to process this quote from it:

“Only awareness can make your reality and only what’s real can become a dream and only from a dream can you wake to the light.”

In other words… the more you learn, the more you have to dream about, and the more your dreams reveal what unfinished business you have about what you have learned.

Tomorrow morning we should watch Mater’s Tall Tales while drinking watered-down juice.

You’re lucky to have me as your dream interpreter. Just imagine, “Mater Juice” could have just been written off as some random dream…

 

Love,

Daddy

 

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Hurry Up And Leave… So I Can Wave Goodbye!

April 11, 2013 at 7:28 pm , by 

2 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

I will admit I don’t always understand your logic.

Your newest tradition is to wave goodbye to Mommy as she pulls out of the driveway each morning. I gather that it is a time and tradition that helps you share a connection with her on a daily basis.

But this morning… as Mommy stood in the doorway, smiling at you, telling you to have a good day, telling you that she loves you, telling you that she will miss you, you just stared at her and said nothing.

The moment she walked out to her car, you got excited. You actually got giddy, even.

By the time she started backing out of the driveway, you were jumping with excitement, because finally, the moment had come when you would be able to… wave goodbye to her.

To spell out the irony here. you basically wanted Mommy to hurry up and leave so you could wave goodbye to her.

Your way of thinking is just different than mine, or Mommy’s, sometimes.

Like last night after I put you to bed and you were already overly tired to begin with, you sang at the top of your lungs for the next 15 minutes until I finally went back into your bedroom to remind you that it was time for fall asleep, to which you simply replied, “Okay,” then fell asleep a minute later.

I thought your song choice was pretty interesting, it was a medley of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” “Baa, Baa, Black Sheep,” and the “Alphabet Song,” all of which share the exact same tune.

As for me, when I am completely exhausted, like the way I am right now as I write this, the last thing I would feel like doing is singing songs at the top of my lungs.

Logic has yet to become a priority in your life. Enjoy that while you can, kid.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

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My 2 Year-Old’s Made-Up Curse Word

April 9, 2013 at 9:29 pm , by 

2 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

Sunday afternoon as we were pulling out of the Kroger parking lot from filling up Mommy’s car with gas, you shouted:

“Red Jeep! I want to see it!Bow! Red Jeep! Bow!My red Jeep!”

I looked in the rear view mirror and saw the red Jeep Wrangler you were referring to, but we weren’t going to turn the car around just so you could take a peek at a red Jeep, which you are guaranteed to see at least 5 of on the drive to daycare everyday.

(Nashville is overly saturated with Jeep Wranglers; not that that’s a bad thing!)

With a very confused look on my face, I asked Mommy, “Wait, what is he saying? Bow? Like it rhymes with pow or how, except it’s bow?”

She explained, “Yeah, that’s his new word he yells out when he doesn’t get what we wants.”

Turns out, you’ve been using “bow!” on a daily basis, as I later learned from Mommy. You even have a hand gesture to accompany your exclamatory word: You pretend to throw a ball at the person you saying it to.

Basically, it’s a lot like like that scene on the movie Step Brothers where Rob Riggle just keeps shouting out “pow!” and no one really understands why or even what word he’s actually saying.

You’ve learned you can’t get away with yelling “no!” to us, so you’ve crafted a new defiant word that makes it difficult for Mommy and me to take you too seriously.

I’m actually quite impressed by your creativity. For now, “bow” will remain a parent-approved curse word for you to use.

Personally, I enjoy watching and hearing you say it because it’s so hilarious to see you so passionately shout out a word that is ultimately meaningless, though it does a good job of helping you express how you feel.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

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A High Fructose Corn Syrup, Artificial Food Dye Tour Of WalMart

What’s the easiest way to being able to spot junk food?

Fat? Cholesterol? Weird, unpronounceable chemicals?

Those are all good, but there’s an easier way than that…

A High Fructose Corn Syrup, Red 40 Food Dye Tour Of WalMart

Just look for high fructose corn syrup and/or artificial food dyes.

This is coming from a guy who over the course of several years, learned the cure to eczema (dyshidrosis) by experimenting with what I did and did not eat. The first step for me, 6 years ago, was discovering I had to eliminate high fructose corn syrup and/or artificial food dyes from my diet.

Why?

High fructose corn syrup is the most processed version of GMO sugar you can find. It’s the sweetest of the sweet, which teaches your body to “look for the rest of the food” it came from. In other words, high fructose corn syrup keeps you hungry; as explained in this article by scientificamerican.com.

A High Fructose Corn Syrup, Artificial Food Dye Tour Of WalMart

Meanwhile, artificial food dyes have been linked to anxiety, migraines, and cancer; according to this respectable article on Forbes.com.

Today, I want to introduce you to the concept that WalMart’s vendors are very good at making sure WalMart’s customers are strategically surrounded by high fructose corn syrup and artificial food dyes.

It’s common knowledge to our generation that WalMart has this way of attracting a certain crowd worthy of their own website: peopleofwalmart.com. (I don’t endorse that site, by the way; it’s not “family friendly”.)

However, there’s a reason it’s so easy to relate to WalMart memes:

WalMart Memes

For example, over the weekend I overhead this phone conversation while I was there at WalMart: “I ain’t no snitch… I didn’t give the cops a first name. I wasn’t brought up that way…”.

In case you need a visual, he looked like a young version of Weird Al in his video for “All About The Pentiums.”

This past weekend while I was there to pick up my car after getting an oil change, I took a walk around the place.

I only had to walk past a few aisles to pick up on a marketing strategy: WalMart’s vendors strategically place “pillars of cheap junk food” around the outer perimeter of the store’s interior.

Vendors pay for that high-traffic real estate within the store, as explained by one of my coworkers, whose wife is a manager at WalMart.

junk food pillars WalMart

If I sound a little harsh regarding these strategically placed junk food pillars, let me give you some more quick background on me, because I feel it’s relevant to my passion behind this story.

I was one nervous little kid, from age 10 to age 12. I had anxiety issues, as well as constant digestion problems.

Fortunately, my own parents were open-minded enough to listen to good advice, and cut out red food dye (Red 40 and Carmine) from my diet.

What a lot of people here in America don’t realize about those petroleum and insect derived food dyes is that are banned in Europe.

A High Fructose Corn Syrup, Artificial Food Dye Tour Of WalMart

So hopefully now it makes better sense why I am “outing” WalMart’s vendors for barricading the floor with junk food pillars.

See for yourself the next time you shop there.

I realize that other stores do this to, but I feel it’s taken to a whole new level at Walmart.

This is me inviting you to be in the know; just like I did back in 2009 when I pointed out the marketing scheme of fast food companies using the color combination of red and yellow in their logos to subconsciously control you like a traffic control light:

Yellow: “Slow down.”

Red: “Stop!”

https://familyfriendlydaddyblog.com/2009/12/19/red-and-yella-will-kill-a-fella-2/

What do you think? Do I know what I’m talking about here?

Is it safe to say that the vendors of many stores, WalMart serving as the epitome of them, surround the floor space with pillars of junk food, filled with high fructose corn syrup and artificially food dyes?

Tell me I’m not crazy. Most people say I am.