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My “Greatest Hits” List of Parenthood, So Far

May 1, 2012 at 11:52 pm , by 

17 months.

My wife and I can’t relate to the concept of “trying” to have kids.

At the very beginning of 2010, we decided that we might consider starting our family around November of that year. Instead, our son Jack was born, not conceived, in November 2010.

(I’ll spare you the mysterious details on how exactly that happened ahead of schedule.)

Meanwhile, our very good friends Dave and Karen were living the opposite version of that story. For Christmas 2009, Dave told Karen that all he wanted for Christmas was to be a dad. Accordingly, she very much wanted to start having children as well.

But it hasn’t been easy. They have done everything in their power to get pregnant; from cutting edge new technology to alternative medicine. None of it has been effective.

I know it’s been an emotional journey for them. If there has been one thing Jill and I have prayed more for on a daily basis, it has been for Dave and Karen to be able to have a child.

When I think of the biggest-hearted people in my life, they both instantly come to mind.

In fact, they took us into their home twice (a total of over 6 months) as we were moving to Alabama and then again when we moved back to Nashville. Interestingly, when we brought Jack “home” from the hospital, it was their house we came back to. (In the picture above, they are holding the newborn Jack.)

They have sacrificed greatly for us; amidst the ease of us being able to have a child.

And this whole time, they’ve acted as if it was their privilege to do so.

Dave and Karen recently returned from a 2 week in vitro fertilization session in Colorado. We didn’t ask them about it because we knew they would let us know if it was successful.

Yesterday my wife Jill saw that she had missed a call from Karen. This video that Karen posted on her Facebook wall pretty much sums it all up:

It just so happened they we found out their wonderful news as we were watching a Season 3 episode of Lostcalled “Greatest Hits” where Charlie learns how and when he will die; he must sacrifice his life so that his girlfriend and her son can be rescued from the island.

In the hours leading up to his death, he writes out a greatest hits list of his entire life to give to his girlfriend for the moment she would learn of his death: The #1 “hit” was when he met her.

So that’s what got me thinking about this “Greatest Hits of Parenthood” list for myself.

My list so far would be A) Jack’s safe arrival into this world, B) the fact that we has blonde-hair and blue eyes though it doesn’t make much sense when you look at his parents, C) how at 15 months he started recognizing me as his dad and choosing to want to hang out with me even if my wife was in the room too, and D) Jack surviving his febrile seizure.

But never in my life have I ever felt so much joy because of a blessing in someone else’s life.

In fact, finding out that Dave and Karen are having a baby is definitely included now on my “greatest hits” list of being a parent.

And now they get to start their own greatest hits…

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My Wool-Capped, Wagon-Riding Toddler

May 1, 2012 at 10:21 pm , by 

17 months.

I’m assuming it’s pretty typical for infants and toddlers to not enjoy wearing hats.

My experience has always been that if I could sneak a picture of Jack wearing a hat, I was lucky. And then within a nanosecond later, he would always take the hat off his head.

Until this past weekend.

While Jill was at Publix buying groceries, I had put Jack down for his nap. When he awoke, he was ready for me to lead him on an adventure.

Once downstairs, he saw my new white fedora on the kitchen counter; pointing at it and grunting.

I placed it on his head and he liked it, but he seemed to acknowledge the hat was too big for him.

Curious by his sudden interest in a hat, I ran back upstairs with him to his room to pick through the half dozen caps in his top drawer that he has never wanted to wear before.

For some reason, he instantly fell in love with a striped wool cap with a blue puff ball on the top.

Back downstairs, he saw his Radio Flyer wagon and asked me, “Wah-wah?”

So I packed up Elmo, a book, and a water cup; somehow managing to pull the wagon through the front door with Jack in the wagon with those recently named belongings.

Keep in mind that last Sunday afternoon when this event took place, it was nearly 85 degrees outside. What was weird is that he barely sweated. Instead, his neckline was drenched in drool. (He has molars coming in right now.)

It’s hilarious to me that after insisting on wearing a wool cap while being pulled around the neighborhood in a wagon, the look on his face for the majority of the ride was not happy but, at best, stoic.

Granted, he didn’t want out of the wagon, nor did he want the hat off. In fact, a few times when the hat barely started to slip off, he communicated to me (in grunts) to straighten it up for him.

Once Jack stumbles into a routine, good luck on talking him out of it.

I imagine Jack used this road trip (though it was technically a sidewalk trip) to ponder his life thus far.

Perhaps that hat is his thinking cap? [Insert laugh tracks here.]

So much goes through a 17 month-old boy’s head when he finally gets a chance to just stop and think everything; while watching planes fly overhead on their descent to the Nashville airport.

In our neighborhood, there are over 200 townhouses.

People had to hear the wagon rolling in front of their house; looking out their window to see a man in a white fedora pulling a Radio Flyer wagon containing a seemingly dazed and confused little boy who was obviously willingly wearing a wool cap on a humid afternoon.

But since this is evidently one of Jack’s comforting new routines, I imagine soon, that the neighbors will simply say, “Oh, here comes that father and son wagon team again.”

Jack wore his hat for the rest of the afternoon until it was time for bed.

 

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These Are The Longest Days And Shortest Years Of Our Lives

May 1, 2012 at 12:09 am , by 

17 months.

The thing I like most about my seven gray hairs is that they stick straight out like a wire, making them effortless to pluck out every 60 days.

Sure, these recently arrived strays are a sign that I’ve lived on this planet for over three decades now. But they also surely serve as proof that I’ve been a parent for nearly a year and a half.

Since becoming a dad, my concept of time has been greatly compromised. Today I had to ask myself what month it is, not knowing if it were summer or fall or winter; as if the Tennessee heat and humidity didn’t give it away. Turns out, it’s spring.

But what’s the difference?

These are the longest days and shortest years of my life. In a sense, I almost don’t even know what that means. But in some simple, clever, yet abstract way, I totally get it.

All I know is I spend most of my hours doing the things that I don’t want to do, so I can afford the few hours of the day (or of the week) doing the things I actually enjoy.

The majority of my hours at my “real job” in an office are spent either finding ways to stay busy so that I don’t realize how bored out of my mind I am, or it’s the exact opposite: I’m “swamped”  and stressed and on top of that, regularly criticized that my work isn’t good enough. (The Dadabase is my 2nd job; not my office job.)

Then let’s consider life when I’m not “working.”

There’s the transporting and taking care of my son, there’s the cleaning up of dishes after dinner, there’s mandatory chill out time  with my wife… which currently means finishing Season 3 of Lost. And there’s catching up with my wife and making sure we have some quality time and conversations aside from our chill out/entertainment time.

Most of my life is spent earning an income. Next is my time with my family; being a dad and a husband. Last and least is the concept of “me time.”

Alongside all this organized chaos is a little blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy who likes to show me his newest magic trick each day; like last week when Jack carefully placed each macaroni shell on his finger like it’s a fingernail, before eating it. (I entitle the picture above “Jack-N-Cheese.”)

He serves as one of the few reminders for me that life is actually moving forward as he’s growing up and becoming more independent everyday. (That’s why each post starts out by telling how old he is.)

Meanwhile, I often feel like I’m just living life in front of a green screen that loops the same tired footage as the day before.

So what can I do? I make as much as I can with what little time I do have to spend with my family and what I enjoy doing; in order feel alive and creative and set apart in this world.

This life can be consuming in its mundaneness; not to mention how hard it is to simply making a living and not worry about how I am going to support my family and myself throughout the future.

What is the meaning of life? To give life meaning.

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

― John Milton, Paradise Lost

 

1 Comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Do All Little Boys Naturally Know To Make Car Sounds?

May 1, 2012 at 12:02 am , by 

17 months.

If it has wheels, Jack has to get his hands on it. And when he does, he always imitates a motor sound: “Vvvrroooo…”. Not to mention the sounds of screeching tires every couple of seconds.

But where did he learn this? Not from me.

The first time he picked up a toy with wheels and rolled it across the floor, he knew to make motor sounds. It was as if that knowledge were incepted into his brain.

Sure, it’s very possible he learned to do this at daycare.

However, my wife has talked to other fellow moms whose sons don’t attend daycare and still made “car sounds” the moment they started playing with their first toy car.

So I wonder: Do all little boys naturally know to make car sounds?

A couple of weekends ago, we were at Walmart (which for us, is extremely rare and random) and Jack started running toward a toy display. Without hesitation, he picked up a black and burgundy street racer; the kind of car you’d see featured on The Fast And The Furious 7 or whatever sequel they’re up to now.

“You want that car, Jack? That’s a cool-looking one.” I looked at the “roll back” price of 88 cents. “Yeah son, we’ll get you that car.”

Jill and I both seemed to have this fun parenting moment as we headed over to the check-out counter and realized, “Hey, our boy likes cars now. We’re officially at that stage.”

As you can see in the picture below, he’s really proud of his very first Hot Wheels car.

He dines with it: One hand holds the spoon while the other holds the toy car. He takes it with him whenever we leave the house. He even sleeps with it; clenched tightly in his hand,next to Elmo.

It’s amazing how many “battle scars” that car already has on it. You would think he ran it through gravels, the way the paint is already etching off.

If I’m lucky, by Christmas he’ll be ready for one of those awesome Hot Wheels racing tracks where we can find out which of his cars are really the fastest and the most furious.

Naturally, car sounds will be made by both father and son.

 

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When Jack Met Elmo: A Bromantic Comedy

April 27, 2012 at 11:33 pm , by 

17 months.

It all started when my wife Jill made up a bedtime song for Jack, which featured that famous furry red monster on Jack’s diaper.

From there, Jack  started asking for Elmo by name; though his pronounced version sounded more like “M’elmo.”

Jack has a plush alien toy that he halfway assumed was Elmo (featured above), but I wasn’t able to put that off very long. Once that proved to be a bust, Jack started falling asleep  in his crib while holding an Elmo diaper; the kind featured below.

Plus, whenever he saw a pictures of frogs in a book, though he knew the actual word frog, he started citing them, “Elmo?”

We decided it was time to buy him a small, simple, licensed Elmo doll. But actually finding one proved to be as about as difficult as finding aTickle Me Elmo during the Christmas of 1996.

You would think finding a simply plush Elmo doll under 10 bucks would be pretty easy. Nope.

Last Sunday afternoon we travelled to Walmart, Babies “R” Us, and Target. While they did have the 9 inch tall Grover as well as some yellow mohawked version of Telly for $7.99, none of the stores had Elmo!

Thanks to Amazon.com, Jill was able to find Elmo for double the proper price, by the time shipping was thrown in.

I’ll go ahead and say it: We became “those parents” during the three days it to took for Elmo to arrive.

It was the kind of material that would have made for yet another clever episode of the flawless TV show, Up All Night.

Throughout the Elmo anticipation, Jill would text me updates on where Elmo was at that moment:

Jill: “The tracking # shows Elmo is leaving Sarasota today!”

Me: “Wow! That’s great news. Can’t wait to see Jack’s reaction…”

I kept reminding myself of the possible reality that when the “real Elmo” finally arrived, Jack might not be that impressed.

Well, it’s only been a few days since the moment Jack officially met Elmo (featured right) and I think it’s safe to say that we made a solid $15 investment.

After all, Elmo already has a spaghetti sauce stain on his eyes. Jack has to be holding Elmo at all times in the car, during meals, and in his crib.

So, how will Jack and Elmo’s bromantic friendship flourish? Well, just keep an eye on how many pictures in upcoming Dadabase posts feature Elmo somewhere in view.

That’s how we’ll know.

At this point, I don’t believe Jack really understands why he’s supposed to love Elmo so much; but if for no other reason than to appease his hip parents.

He just goes along with it.