parenting

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Where The Wild Things Are And Always Will Be

May 8, 2012 at 10:49 pm , by 

17 months.

This week the author of Where the Wild Things Are, Maurice Sendak, passed away at age 83. To say his classic and most famous story is my favorite and most influential children’s book is no stretch of the imagination.

For Halloween last October, my son Jack was a sea otter thanks to that costume selling for 9 bucks on Amazon.com. But really, I hoped everyone would be reminded of the wolf costume that the protagonist Max wore in the book.

I remember that day in 1st grade back in 1987 during our weekly library hour, how Mrs. Mauldin read Where the Wild Things Are to our class for the first time.

Why was I so mesmerized by this weird and dark book about a boy and his monsters?

Somehow, part of it didn’t feel like a kids’ book. There was something almost PG-13 about it; though I couldn’t have known why at the time.

Now as a nostalgic 31 year-old dad who is ever-curious about the human subconscious, I see that Where the Wild Things Are allowed a child to experience (and experiment with) loneliness up until the final page of the story.

Up until the very end, Max banishes himself to a sort of forgotten hell in which he takes charge.

I get it now. What kid doesn’t feel left out of the “grown-up world” at times, wishing to be important enough to be in charge the way his or her parents are?

Through this bizarre and yet very realistic story, a child relates.

Today I saw I quote by Storm Jameson which best summarizes why Sendak’s beloved story is so special:

“Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.”

Interestingly, the protagonist (and the reader) of Where the Wild Things Are experiences all these things in the story. I never thought of happiness as anything less than perceived joy.

But this new definition makes a lot more sense. And surely Maurice Sendak knew this when he penned the book.

He subliminally introduced real happiness to me through his adventurous story.

Like Max, I must feel deeply, think freely, risk life, and be needed. That is indeed what makes me happy.

And if I can dress funny and howl and dance in the forest with monsters in the process… even better.

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

My Son Stuffs His Face (And His Shorts) Full Of Food

May 7, 2012 at 8:52 pm , by 

17 months.

This picture right here is currently one of my favorites of Jack: He’s got a mouth overstuffed with wheat bread.

Sure, it’s not a very flattering picture of him; but it ishilarious because it totally sums up his current eating habits.

Like most toddlers, I assume, Jack has a fairly limited palette. When he’s wolfing down one of the few selections of food he will eat, he doesn’t understand the concept of pacing himself.

He can have a handful and a mouthful of spaghetti with a full plate in front of him and he still manages to mumble, “More?”

Sometimes in the morning after my wife feeds him his typical breakfast consisting of a whole wheat blueberry waffle or two, he will point to the box of Cheerios.

Recently she gave him a small cup of them for the car ride with me to his daycare. He was pretty quiet the whole 30 minute trip there.

Once we arrived, I opened up the hatchback-style door on my Honda Element and began unstrapping him from his car seat. I noticed the cup of Cheerios was empty.

As I lifted him up, Cheerios poured out of his shorts like quarters in a lucky Las Vegas slot machine.

Jack began laughing like a sneaky little squirrel. He totally pranked me.

I take it he wasn’t actually still hungry that morning.

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

When Kids’ Messes Are Really Deconstruction Learning Exercises

May 6, 2012 at 8:02 pm , by 

17 months.

Jack is finally learning how to actually play with his Lego-like blocks. He likes to see how tall he can build his tower or sword or lightsaber or whatever it’s supposed to be.

But for Jack, it’s just as much fun to tear down and break apart as it is to create.

For the past couple of weeks now, I have noticed that during his playtime, he likes to make messes… for fun.

It’s been nearly a decade since I took a Child Psychology class back when I was in college, but I have to assume that right now my son is working out the engineering part of his brain.

He is teaching himself how to deconstruct things so that he can rebuild them.

My wife told me that Jack likes to abruptly swipe all his bath toys off the tub’s ledge into the water, only to carefully place them back in order.

I’ve said it before, but I truly think Jack is going to be the opposite of me when it comes to his motor skills. He will be a clear-thinking, math and science guy; whereas I’m a deep-thinking, abstract, communications kind of guy.

That’s a good thing. We’ll have plenty to learn from each other.

Of course, that’s not to say that Jack won’t end up being a very sociable little boy, because it’s seems to me he already is.

Yes, I could have allowed myself to become annoyed when Jack started his new daily game of emptying his six different toy caddies in our living room.

But I just remind myself that my son that is becoming his own mechanics teacher.

I can’t believe I just now thought of this, but why am I cleaning up his toys when playtime ends? After all, I shouldn’t deprive him of the very valuable reconstructive lesson of placing his toys back where they belong.

He’s not a baby anymore. He’s a lightsaber swinging toddler who is sure to get better math and science grades than I ever did.

 

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Higher Paid Working Wives, Increasing Househusbands

May 4, 2012 at 12:33 am , by 

17 months.

My wife makes more money than I do. Not to mention, her job carries incredible insurance and benefits for our family.

While that would have been weird for my dad in the Eighties, here in the 2010′s it’s not so unusual. I recently read an article on CNN Money that spelled it out for me:

“In 2008, 26% of women living in dual-income households had annual earnings that were at least 10 percentage points higher than their spouse, up from 15% in 1997, according to the Families and Work Institute’s latest data.”

The article went on to say that daycare costs continue to increase while wages are not increasing.

So it only makes sense for those wives and mothers out there who are worth more financially than their husbands, in a household where it is is more financially suitable for one spouse to stay at home, that the dad becomes a “househusband” instead of the mom becoming a “housewife.”

How do I feel about this, as a lesser income-earning dad?

Personally, we couldn’t quite survive on just my wife’s solid income. But if we could?

Heck yeah. I wouldn’t hesitate at all to be a stay-at-home househusband. Of course, I’m under no illusion that it would be a breeze.

Stay-at-home parents are working parents; as every politician’s wife should know.

It’s just that as a modern dad, I by default am already extremely involved in raising my son on a daily basis. To me, I would view it as a career upgrade; especially psychologically.

Beyond all the formerly-ironic-but-now-cliche dad skills like being able to change my son’s diapers and feed him, I already consider myself his main disciplinarian, sleep trainer, and nutritionist; all of which are very important when caring for a toddler all day long.

And for everything else, I could figure it out. I’m proud of the fact my wife can make more money than I can. It’s cool that her employer sees what she’s financially worth; which again, is more than I am.

Most importantly, I want to spend as much time as I can with my son. He’s awesome! Why wouldn’t I?

I always want to have a close, well-communicated relationship with him. It starts now.

If this were the 1950′s, I would evidently be able to provide enough income for my family; my wife wouldn’t have to be a working wife.

I would come home each day and smoke a pipe while wearing a robe, sitting in my cozy chair, reading over the newspaper while halfway paying attention to my son.

That doesn’t even sound at all appealing to me. I’d rather it be this way, where I’m definitely an active and positively influential dad.

“Househusband” is not an insult; I say it’s an honor and a privilege. But even if I’m not fortunate enough to be one myself, being a dad in the 2010′s still rocks, like a T-Rex playing an orange electric guitar.

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The Official Modern American Dad Haircut Of 2012

May 3, 2012 at 10:58 pm , by 

17 months.

Number 1 clipper guard on the sides and back, blended into about one inch long on the top. That’s pretty much the official “dad haircut” these days.

There’s just something about springtime that innately causes a man to go get a haircut.

After an airplane flew over my son’s daycare two weeks ago pulling a giant banner advertising $6.99 haircuts at Great Clips, I figured I should take it as a divine intervention. So I went and did the deed.

I normally don’t go as short as a #1 guard, but as part of my lifelong project to find the perfect men’s haircut, I decided to go pretty short this time.

Over that weekend, I thought about how when I returned to work that everyone would give me a hard time about me looking like I joined the Marines or at least that I was trying to impersonate Adam Levine from Maroon 5.

See, that’s the thing about men and our own haircuts:

We don’t exactly know what we’re supposed to do; often fearing our next haircut will make us look like a member of Color Me Badd if we don’t know exactly what to tell the barber or lady holding the clippers.

Personally for me, it’s not the kind of thing I feel comfortable asking other men about nor do I want to spend a lot of time thinking about.

I just want something that it is easy, cheap, extremely low maintenance, masculine, and looks good on a guy who may or may not be aware of the fact that his forehead is getting slightly bigger every year.

And interestingly, there’s not a whole lot of realistic advice when you Google “men’s hairstyles.” Most of the websites that pull up are either booby-trapped with spam or are designed for metrosexuals and/or inspiring emo rockers.

So today I’m making it official. This is the American Dad haircut: Number 1 clipper guard on the sides and back blended into about one inch long on top.

It’s just long enough on top to put in a little Publix brand pomade to give that perfect balance of “almost messy” and “too long to spike.” Yet it’s short enough on the back and sides to bring to mind a military image.

Turns out, a lot of people at work complimented me on my new haircut. Here’s the funny thing:

I work almost entirely with other men; most of whom are dads in their late 20′s to late 30′s, who have a similar version of the haircut.

The positive reinforcement came mainly in the form of “Looking’ sharp, Nick” or “Nice haircut… what is that, a #1 guard?”

The way I see it, I would rather receive approval on a haircut from other dads and grown men, as opposed to women. Because it’s uncommon in our society for a heterosexual man to admit that another heterosexual man is handsome. It’s a rare feat.

So if I can get Big Kenny, with his Type A personality and thick New Hampshire accent to go through the trouble to say, “Look at you, Mr. Hot Rod,” I’m going to have to believe that I finally found the perfect default haircut.

Even if by writing this, I’m breaking Man Law because men aren’t supposed to talk this much about their hair, I think it’s about time someone finally revealed the Official Modern American Dad Haircut of 2012.

Actually, I think I basically stole the hairstyle from my son.