parenting

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“Kid Still In The Car Seat” Awareness

August 9, 2012 at 11:16 pm , by 

20 months.

About 24 hours ago, I published “How Do Parents Leave Their Kids Alone In A Hot Car?!”

To summarize it, I basically said that I feel like every time I hear another “parent left their kid alone in the hot car” story, it’s always that the parent was a bit looney to begin with.

I ended it with this:

“But really, I don’t know, do non-crazy parents end up leaving their kids alone in the car? Do they?”

The answer is yes.

Good, normal parents who are respected in their community have unfortunately accidently left their kids alone in a hot car.

The most common way this seems to happen: They simply forgot to drop off their kid, who was quiet in the back seat.

Here are a couple of links to prove it:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/12/living/hot-car-deaths-parenting/index.html#

http://www.wsmv.com/story/19231074/experts-heat-related-incidents-with-kids-in-cars-can-happen-to-anyone

As I mentioned in this post’s prequel, I totally see how I could forget my son in the back seat of my car, on a morning when he is really tame on the drive and while I am very preoccupied with 17 random thoughts and 8 that actually are important.

But I want to make sure I never do forget.

I read this statement from the Safe Kids Worldwide CEO, Kate Carr, who had some advice for parents to prevent forgetting their child in the car:

“Create reminders by putting something in the back of your car – a briefcase, your purse, or better yet, your cell phone – that is needed at your final destination. This is especially important if you’re not following your normal routine.”

So, yeah, I’m going to start doing that. Starting today.

Now that I know it’s not just a stereotype of a parent who accidently leaves their kid in the car seat on a hot summer day, I’m ready to spread awareness.

What better way to do that than with another one of my glorious awareness ribbons?

For the record, I think awareness ribbons are annoying by now and are well past the “jumped the shark” point. And for me, that’s why they work. They spread awareness, even if through sheer tackiness like an infomercial.

So as I look at this orange “Kid Still In The Car Seat” Awareness ribbon that took me about 90 seconds to create on PicFont.com, I will be reminded to start leaving my cell phone in the back seat next to my son from now on.

Not to mention, I don’t need the added danger of tempting myself to text my wife while I’m driving.

I want to set good, preventative habits as a parent.

Thanks to those of you who left comments on ”How Do Parents Leave Their Kids Alone In A Hot Car?!”  You led me here and I think I’m a better parent for it.

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

How Do Parents Leave Their Kids Alone In A Hot Car?!

August 8, 2012 at 10:39 pm , by 

(The next day I answered this question with “Kid Still In The Car Seat” Awareness. Read it if you are curious to see if my view changed on this subject. Hint: It did.)

20 months.

I think I already know the answer: You sort of have to be crazy.

Right?

Today a news story popped up about a 25 year-old mom who left her two toddlers in the car while she went back inside the house to take an hour nap. When the mom returned to her car, her children were dead.

The problem with this story is that it’s too familiar. It’s not really that unique, unfortunately.

I feel like I hear of slightly different version of this happening a couple times every summer.

Assuming the mom in that particular story wasn’t insane, on bath salts, or demon possessed, I tried to imagine if I could ever end up in her position.

As soon as I heard about the story while I was at work today, I immediately reminded myself of this morning’s events:

“Okay, you definitely dropped off Jack at daycare this morning because as soon as you plopped him down, his friend Sophie started growling at him like she was a dinosaur, then immediately offered him a cup to play with. Yes, that was this morning. Not yesterday. You didn’t leave your son alone in the car in the parking lot… Whew!”

Even then, since that moment, I have questioned myself on whether or not I could ever become one of those parents who leaves their kid alone in a hot car.

I try to imagine a worst case scenario where I drive straight to work and forget Jack in the back seat because he was really quiet and content the whole time, which caused me to fall into a state of surreal solitude. I mean, life is stressful, could that ever happen to me?

Nah.

Here’s why. Every time another one of these “parent left their kid alone in a hot car” story surfaces, it always ends up that the parent was less than a dependable and respected member of society.

There’s always something shady going on with them to begin with.

I’ve yet to hear of this happening where a “normal parent” like one of us finds themselves in a situation like this.

Until then, I think I’ll be able to keep myself out of a Shawshank Redemption kind of setting.

But really, I don’t know, do non-crazy parents end up leaving their kids alone in the car?

Do they?

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8 Non-Religious Reasons To Take Your Kids To Church

August 8, 2012 at 9:31 pm , by 

20 months.

Year after year, polls like this recent one by Gallup show that “churchgoers” not only experience more positive emotions but also less negative emotions than people who do not regularly attend church, synagogue, or mosque.

So maybe you’re not like me; having been intrigued since Kindergarten on how we all got here and what happens to us after we die.

This is for the agnostics who are curious about taking their kids to church, as well as, for those who haven’t had much exposure to church but are curious enough to consider checking it out.

Therefore, I am attempting to explain why going to church is a good idea for you and your kids, not from a religious perspective, but from more of a scientific one.

1. Friends. For you as well as your kids. Most of my friends and my wife’s friends are somehow traced back to our church. In fact, we met each other through a mutual friend that I met through a group of friends I knew through my church.

2. Community. Similarly, you find yourself among other people who are bound to have things in common with you and your children; even if it’s just the fact you are parents with kids around the same age at the same place.

3. Activities and events. There is always something happening on the church calendar and much of it involves free food. Not to mention, most of the activities themselves don’t cost anything to participate. Basically, it’s free entertainment with families you have stuff in common with.

4. Child care. Free child care. While you are in the main worship service, as well as Sunday School, your kids are being supervised and taught in their own age appropriate Sunday School and worship service where they make you crafts out of construction paper and popsicle sticks.

5. Family values. Church is a great place to get moral reinforcement. It’s no secret that pop culture, everyday life, and even just our own negativity can be a drag on our ideal personal standards.

6. Motivation. Imagine the hope that comes out of the belief that the creator of this universe not only loves you but has a plan for your life. When you go to and belong to a church, you are exposed to a way of thinking that ultimately affects how you see the world, yourself, and others.

7. Opportunities to help others. You’d be amazed at some of the unique ways you can help others and your community through your church. It is likely you will find a venue to serve others in a way that is framed around your talents and abilities.

8. Routine. When you expose yourself and your kids to all this positivity every week, after a while you’re bound to see a noticeable difference in the way your family interacts.

Even if you have trouble believing in all the religious aspects of going to church, there is evidently something to the fact that people who go are generally more positive and less negative.

The way I look at it; even if at the end of my life I was wrong about God this entire time and when we die, we just die and that’s it, I still wouldn’t regret having believed.

Because if nothing else, I had a sense of hope amidst all of life’s uncertainties. Not to mention, as the polls show, I lived a happier life than had I not believed.

But I do believe. And I invite you to check it out. Even if it’s just for your kid.

Feel free to email me (look at the top right side of this page) if you’d like for me to personally help you find some good churches in your area. I’ll try to make sure you don’t end up going to some kooky place where they drink poisoned Kool-Aid or attempt to catch a ride in a UFO that follows a magical comet.

(Or read the follow-up post I wrote a couple of days after I published this one, A Non-Churchgoer’s Guide For Finding A Church For Your Family.)

Top photo: Chapel Sign via Shutterstock.

Bottom photo: Childcare Concept via Shutterstock.

 

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Risk Management: Being My Kid’s Bodyguard

August 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm , by 

20 months.

Anytime I’ve ever heard another parent say “I just let him out of my sight for one second…” it never turns out to be a delightful story.

So as to prevent myself from ever saying that phrase, it’s simple:

I never let my son out of my sight for one second.

Obviously, he goes to daycare during the day and he sleeps in his own bedroom at night.

But what I mean is that as long as he and I are in the same room or as long as he’s with me out in public, I am the kid’s bodyguard.

I believe that all of us as human beings were born with a nature that causes us to want to, by default, make destructive decisions.

No parent ever has to teach their child to lie or to be disobedient.

While we also have a nature that causes us to want to be good and help others, we still are often driven towards destruction in our thoughts which lead to actions.

Likewise, I know my son will run straight for the cars in the street or into the crowd at the store unless I physically restrain him from doing so.

My verbal warnings aren’t yet enough for my toddler son.

He is all but handcuffed to me because at this point, I can’t trust him to keep himself from hurting himself.

Not to mention that as a father of a son, I’m acutely aware of the fact that a boy’s chance of surviving to adulthood is a lot less than a girl’s.

Mark J. Penn, in his book, Microtrends, explains it this way, in regards to statistics done here in America:

“There are about 90,000 more boys born every year than girls, setting up a favorable dating ratio. But by the time those kids turn 18, the sex ratio has shifted a full point the other way to 51 to 49, because more boys die in puberty than girls. Researchers call it a “testosterone storm,” which causes more deaths among boys from car accidents, homicides, suicides, and drownings.”

I don’t mean to be morbid or grandiose, but I think about that. I should.

Whenever I’m with my son, even in a seemingly safe environment, in my head I have to constantly be thinking, “What’s the worst that could happen right now?

Simple risk management.

Because sure enough, the moment I don’t ask myself that would be the day I would find out.

I’m not sure if I really am an overprotective dad or not.

After seeing these pictures of how I let my son play with big wooden stick, I bet some readers out there are actually thinking the opposite about me.

But that’s part of the paradox:

I’m his dad. I’m supposed to encourage his adventurous spirit. And I really like that part of my job as a dad.

Hey, I want to have fun too.

As long as it’s not too much fun.

(Kids, don’t try this at home. Unless your dad is there watching you through the camera as he encourages your adventurous spirit.)

 

 

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Hostage Negotiation With My Son’s Blanket/Girlfriend, Mimi

August 4, 2012 at 11:20 pm , by 

20 months.

This is my son, Jack. As you can see, he is a very happy little boy.

Especially with Mimi by his side. That’s his blanket/girlfriend.

We have no idea how she got that name.

Yes, I do recognize the absurdity in the fact that my wife and I daily refer to this thin little blanket A) as a female and B) by an actual human name.

One day a few months ago he just starting calling it Mimi. None of his friends at daycare have a Mimi and his teachers didn’t know anything about it either.

And even despite knowing that Jack is fairly limited in what consonant sounds he can make so far, I just can’t figure out how “Mimi” could translate into “blanket.”

Therefore, Mimi is a proper noun. I base her gender on the way he acts like he’s in love with her… or it.

Mimi is on every car ride. She’s always there during playtime. During dinner too.

We do draw some lines, like bath time.

Interestingly, right after he gets out of the bath, his devotion briefly changes to Tara, the bath towel we dry our son off with.

Basically though, he’s just imaging that Tara as Mimi since Mimi doesn’t really like the water.

What’s really funny though, in the likeness of Michelle Tanner on Full House, what Jack somehow doesn’t realize is that there are actually two Mimi’s!

The other one is actually blue and has little dogs all over it. (It’s true when they say that love is blind.)

We just alternate the two blankets every couple of days so that Mimi is always clean.

Since turning Jack’s car seat around, facing the front now, Mimi has found herself a hostage victim on a near daily basis.

About halfway home from daycare most days, Jack will “drop” his water cup or some random toy from his back seat collection. (Basically he gets bored and wants my attention.)

He then says “uh oh” as if it were an accident, though it never is. Five seconds later, it’s a constant stream of him annoyingly whining.

I explain to him every time:

“Jack, I’m driving right now and it’s my job to keep both of us safe. I can’t reach what you’ve dropped because the car is moving. Once we get to the next stop light, I might be able to reach it for you.”

Usually the whining persists after my clear and logical explanation. So I give him a 2nd and final warning:

“Jack, just chill out and have fun back there. Otherwise, I’m going to have to take Mimi.”

If he’s feeling adventurous, which he usually his, then he continues his distracting moaning to see if I will live up to my word.

I always do.

Then I reach back and grab Mimi as my hostage in the front passenger seat. I wait about 2 minutes, during which time Jack responds:

“Mimi! Mi-mi! Mimi! My Mimi!…”.

Once I return Mimi, all is good in the world and Jack completely forgets about whatever stupid plastic cow that “fell” out of his cup holder in the first place.