parenting

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And The Award For “World’s Best Father” Goes To Dave Engledow…

September 27, 2012 at 11:20 pm , by 

22 months.

We modern dads can be a sensitive crowd, as learned from this year’s Huggies fiasco. It comes down to the fact we don’t want to portrayed as the idiots that sitcoms and commercials have made us look like throughout recent decades.

I have pointed out several times by now the cliche about men freaking out when changing their kid’s diaper. It’s so annoying to see another token image of a goofball dad holding his nose or making a theatrical face while taking care of “diaper doody.”

Unless, that image is part of Dave Engledow’s “World’s Best Father” photo series, which is currently buzzing on the Internet. (Let’s be honest- that’s why I’m writing about it now.)

His photos poke fun at negative stereotypes of dads. In other words, he’s unknowingly supporting my “Non-Doofus Dad Awareness” cause by showing the world hilarious, over-the-top examples of how not to do this thing called fatherhood.

Engledow explains it this way on his Kickstarter project page which he set up to fund the World’s Best Father 2013 Calendar:

“The character I portray in this series is intended to be a parody of the father I hope I never become–distracted, self-absorbed, neglectful, clueless, or even occasionally overbearing.

I’ve always used humor as a way to deal with my personal fears and neuroses, and in many ways these images are often an attempt to do just that–to illustrate humorously the fears that I and, as I’ve learned, many other new fathers have about fatherhood”

Without a doubt, this is my kind of guy.

I have a feeling that like me, he would mock, not celebrate, the idea of a “Dadchelor Party.”

One of my favorites of Engledow’s “World’s Best Father” series portrays him as an overzealous dad/coach who is training his toddler daughter to become an Olympic diver: He is coercing her into jumping off the mantle into a small wading pool on the living room floor.

Another shows Engledow struggling to win an arm wrestling contest with his young daughter.

Some parents these days seem to nearly beg for our attention when it comes to pictures and status updates about what’s going on with their kids.

After you check out more of Engledow’s pictures, it becomes clear that he doesn’t have to beg for any of our attention. He already has it.

In case you missed that first hyperlink to transport you to his web page, featuring his pictures, here it is again:

World’s Best Father 2013 Calendar

Image: Engledow Art Photography.

 

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Daddymoons, Manshowers, and Dadchelor Parties: Clever Or Lame?

September 26, 2012 at 11:40 pm , by 

22 months.

To answer my own question: Lame.

Part of my agenda as the daddy blogger for a major parenting website is to positively re-brand fatherhood; to reinforce the fact that a dad changing his kid’s diaper is not ironic at all and that taking care of his own kid without Mommy around is not babysitting… it’s a man taking care of his own kid.

That’s the world we live in and that’s the generation I’m a part of.

Needless to say, I am not cool with the cartoonish concept of a soon-to-be dad having a drunken party (or the likeness thereof) with his buddies to celebrate his final days of freedom before he inevitably says goodbye to his sex life and his ability to watch football games on his 56 inch TV without being interrupted by his crying infant or nagging wife, which therefore makes his life a 1980′s sitcom hell.

Just to be sure that I’m not exaggerating what Dadchelor Parties are all about, an article on The Huffington Post describes them as an event “where men bring diapers in exchange for beer, while others are more extravagant and involve all day bar-hopping or even a destination weekend. All seem to involve drinking, sporting events, gambling, and more drinking.”

Cute.

Okay, okay, but what about the non-drunken version of a Dadchelor Party?

What’s wrong with a soon-to-be dad hanging out with a couple of friends to share some beers and smoke some cigars in an effort to invite the days of fatherhood in a more sophisticated fashion?

Well, I guess I don’t have too big of a problem with that, except for the simple fact I don’t know anyone in my version of the real world who would think that’s cool; especially when attached with the phrase Dadchelor Party, Daddymoon, or Manshower.

I have a feeling that my own friends would actually think that having a “Manshower” is not only tacky, but also, uh…

Manshower? Come on, need I say more?

So what am I offering as a legitimate and respectable alternative? I say the kind of man who I would consider cool enough to be my friend would leave me out of the equation all together and instead take his wife on a babymoon.

The phrase “babymoon” is uber trendy, and therefore annoying, and is not a word I will ever speak aloud, but the concept of taking your pregnant wife on a getaway trip before the baby comes is righteous.

My wife and I went on [one of those] before our son was born an then we went on another one about 6 monthsafter he was born.

It’s a good thing; especially for husbands and expecting fathers who, you know, are A) actually responsible adults B) who respect their wives and C) can understand that having a good time doesn’t need to require a hangover afterwards.

But for those soon-to-be dads who would rather flirt with 20 year-old waitresses at bars all weekend while getting “plastered,” and then brag about it the next week on Facebook, all in the name of a Dadchelor Party, you’ve lost your man card.

Let me know if you ever want it back.

 

Image: Let’s go party, via Shutterstock.

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The Meaning Of Life Is To Give Life Meaning

September 24, 2012 at 9:54 pm , by 

22 months.

It would be most appropriate to begin by quoting the opening of the movie (500) Days of Summer:

“Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life.”

Knowing this, I always try to end each day by trying to figure out what made that day special compared to every day I’ve ever lived.

But not today, because I already know.

I want to bookmark this moment in my life, as if some major milestone has just been reached, or some great accomplishment has just been achieved.

Simply put, it really does come down to a 72 cent fire truck I bought for my son yesterday. That’s what makes today special.

I feel more alive today, not just because we finally made it to autumn, my favorite time of year. Instead, my state of euphoria exists because I know I made my son very happy by buying him that fire truck.

On this day, I do not feel overwhelmed as a husband and dad trying to provide for his family. I am not desperately in need of sleep or a boost in confidence in my abilities of what society expects of me or even what I expect of myself.

Nor I am worried about the end of the world; no, I’m not concerned that Communist China will take over America, or Communist Russia, or even religious extremist terrorists.

In fact, if the world as we know it came to an end right now, at least I would know I ceased to exist while in a state of accidental bliss.

It all goes back to my wife and I standing in the checkout aisle at the store and me telling my son, “You’ve been a really good boy today and we know you really want a fire truck, so we’re going to buy it for you.”

He didn’t even smile; he just kept a somber look on his face that somehow communicated gratitude even more than smile could.

It’s seeing him celebrate back at the house by making his fire truck the head of a parade with his other toy cars.

It’s knowing all day at work I was thinking about my son and how happy I made him by buying him some cheap toy.

In this moment I feel extremely needed by a little boy who is dependent on me for little surprises in life, like a toy fire truck.

The meaning of life is to give life meaning. I thoroughly believe that.

And right now, I am experiencing it.

In simplicity.

2 Comments Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

The Importance Of A Boy Owning A Fire Engine Truck

September 23, 2012 at 9:31 pm , by 

22 months.

My wife and I joke about the fact we hardly ever by our son any new toys.

He has six caddies full of toys that mainly consist of gifts A) from his birthday party nearly a year ago and B) from when he was first born nearly two years ago.

Between his regular daycare and his church daycare and his friends’ toys when he has play dates, Jack has daily access to several toy communities.

For the past couple of months now, Jack has had the same amount of love in his heart for fire trucks as Elmo, which is saying a lot.

The flames of his fascination are flamed even more every day at his daycare, which happens to be located right across the street from the local fire station.

Jack can do a pretty incredible impression of a fire truck by now.

I’ll be driving him home and from the back seat I’ll  hear, “Wwwwhheeeaaahhhllllwwwhhh!”

(Yes, that’s the official spelling of the sound of a fire engine.)

However, it was only just today that we finally got him his very own fire truck. You’d think it be pretty easy to find a Matchbox or Hot Wheels fire truck, but no…

Either you pay at least 7 bucks for a goofy, cartoonish-looking one, or you pay at least $25 for a giant fire truck that your son wouldn’t be able to carry around with him everywhere he goes.

Well fortunately, we were able to find the right sized and the right priced fire engine truck today at Walmart. It’s made by a brand called Maisto and the thing only cost 72 cents!

Now granted, Jack’s new fire truck is also unintentionally (?) a lowrider. And it could also pass for some weird tank thing if the ladder were a canon instead.

But hey, Jack couldn’t be more excited! All he knows is, he finally has his very own fire truck.

He is so proud of it.

When he got home, he lined it up as the leader of a parade consisting of his two Thomas the Train cars and two of my old Stomper cars from McDonald’s Happy Meals back in 1985.

Oh, and a horse and a goat. They were also part of the joyous celebration.

With Jack’s 2nd birthday coming up on November 16th, I know my parents have already hinted that they got him areal fire truck toy.

I imagine it is the kind he can roll around on the floor with the big Tonka truck they got Jack for his birthday last year.

He will be so excited to get it, too; I’m sure of it.

Something he’s been doing here recently is when he has both a small and large version of toy, one becomes the baby and the other becomes the Dada.

In other words, today we bought Jack his “baby fire truck.” His “Dada fire truck” will be arriving within the next 60 days.

 

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What Would Change If There Was No Censorship On TV?

September 23, 2012 at 3:39 pm , by 

22 months.

As parents we have to be very aware of what our children are exposed to, especially in our own homes.

So what would change if there was no censorship on TV?

I think it’s only natural for our first reaction to possibly be that we assume there would automatically be constant f-words and racial slurs, marathons of pornography, and live assassinations and other types of violent, bloody viewings of people losing their lives.

The funny thing is, people who want to see those kind of things are able to watch them any time they want… on the Internet, where there already is no censorship.

But TV is much different than the Internet; TV more controllably directs millions of people to one program at once, therefore making sponsorship a more fickle thing.

There’s this whole concept of “things you can’t say or do on TV” but the truth is, we the people, the free market, are the ones deciding the ultimate standards we see on television.

The halftime show of Super Bowl XXXVIII is the best example I can think of. Yeah, that was the one with the infamous “Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake” incident.

The FCC, The Federal Communications Commission, fined the CBS network a record $550,000; because so many people called in to complain.

It’s safe to say that the majority of those people who complained were parents who were offended by what the network allowed their children to see on TV.

My best understanding of censorship on television is this:

Each TV network has its own censors, who decide what subject matter is too racy or vulgar to keep them in good standing with A) The FCC and B) their viewers.

In other words, the TV networks are simply making an effort to avoid getting fined and losing viewers, which means they lose sponsors for their programs.

For example, American society has decided that the word “sh–” is too vulgar to be spoken on the major networks, meanwhile, “g.d.” is not.

In fact, this past Friday I watched Primetime: What Would You Do? where “sh–” was bleeped out but “g.d.” was clearly spoken, uncensored.

Even a decade ago, “g.d.” was still too taboo for us to hear on TV without flinching.

But speaking of breaking the 3rd commandment, using God’s name in vain, I think we’ve got things a bit mixed up.

We tend to think of “g.d.” as meaning “curse God” when really it’s the other way around; “God-cursed.” In its worst use, “g.d.” is like saying “God forsaken” because the worst way to be cursed by God is to be sentenced to a state of being where He is not present.

But I think it’s safe to say that none of us are offended by hearing “God forsaken” even though it means the same thing as “g.d.”

Ironically, what isn’t really offensive anymore to hear on TV is when people say “Oh my God!” which seems to be the unofficial catch-phrase of the show,Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

(I’ve noticed that’s what people yell repeatedly when they enter their new house for the first time.)

To me, “Oh my God” is more offensive than “g.d.” because “Oh my God” is so careless; at least “g.d.” indirectly recognizes God’s sovereignty.

I use this example of “g.d.” to point out this: Obscenity is simply in the perception of the individual, or more relevantly, the majority.

So to answer the question of what would change if there was no censorship on TV, I’d say it would be this:

Many people would be less likely to watch TV, not having a guideline of what to expect.

The flip side is that TV networks would probably be even more conservative on what they allowed on their programs, without having official censors working for them to professionally protect them.

Censorship serves to protect TV networks from losing money, not to protect us from what we don’t want to see or hear.

Otherwise, we’d be more careful to censor the TV ourselves; which is why I don’t watch much on TV to begin with.