parenting

1 Comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

The Obligatory Facebook Picture Of Your Kid With Santa

December 16, 2012 at 10:05 pm , by 

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

Yesterday Mommy and I took you to the Bass Pro Shop to get your picture made (for free!) with Santa. Despite our low expectations about how you would react, it went very well…

We were first in line, out of hundreds. More importantly, to my surprise, you didn’t cry.

Granted, I warned/prepared you all week:

“Jack, do you want to meet Santa on Saturday? Do you want Santa to hold you?”

Your response was always a grunted version of yes.

The more I thought about the concept all week, the more I realized how going to meet Santa Claus is sort of…peculiar.

There is no other situation where parents encourage their kids to sit on a stranger’s lap and get their picture taken.

At best, it compares a little bit to Halloween; how parents take their kids around the neighborhood peddling for candy. Under any other circumstances, that would never happen.

Still, I think going to visit Santa is a very cool and memorable thing.

Something that especially stood out to me when we met Santa at the Bass Pro Shop is that the last thing he said to you was “I love you.” And he said it like he meant it; like a grandfather would say it. He said it like he was waiting for a response.

I think about all the children who went after you in the Santa line. Not all of them hear “I love you” from a father figure as much as you do.

So here it is; this is the obligatory picture of you with Santa that I shared on Facebook. You may not remember it happening. Either way, I’m sure we’ll be back at Bass Pro Shops again for your Santa picture next year.

 

Love,

Daddy

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Happiness Is A By-Product, Not A Destination

December 16, 2012 at 4:17 pm , by 

2 years.

Dear Jack,

In the capitalist nation we live in, with its nearly inseparable culture, we have this habit of always finding a new level of happiness, only after we have reached the goal we had been aiming for up until that point.

Just like Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory explains, happiness will always elude us as long as we chase it.

However, if we can find a way to be content with what we already have, then happiness becomes a by-product of the integrity of that lifestyle.

Yet at the same time I recognize my personal need for a materialistic goal to inspire me to work harder. Strangely, mine is a Jeep Wrangler.

Actually, you and I both have a bizarre infatuation with Jeep Wranglers.

It all started several months back when Jeep Wranglers became one of the first vehicles you could identify by name. Despite being completely content with my Honda Element that I drive you around in, I had never really noticed how, at least here in Nashville, it appears that for every 10 vehicles on the road, one of of them is a Jeep Wrangler.

Yesterday at Target I helped you, or maybe I should say you helped me, try to find a 97 cent Hot Wheels or Matchbox model of the white Jeep Wrangler with a soft top we both fantasize about the most.

(Maybe it’s because somehow they remind me of Imperial Walkers from The Empire Strikes Back?)

Turns out it was a bust. Jeep Wranglers, like fire engine trucks, are not easily obtainable in small die cast form.

After Mommy heard about us catching a case of “Jeep Fever,” now she’s on board too. It could be something as subliminal  as a Jeep Wrangler most aligning with the culture of our family’s lifestyle: simple and classic, yet low-maintenance, rugged, and even a bit quirky.

So as your dad, I’m caught between the realization that happiness is a by-product of being content with the simple, yet privileged life we already lead as a middle class American family, and the fact that I am motivated by money.

As I spend 40 hours a week working my real job as an Employee Relations Specialist, then 12 hours writing material for The Dadabase, then on top of that, studying at least 5 hours preparing for my HR certification, it helps knowing that all this work is going towards growing my career opportunities…for our family.

Sure, it’s a paradox. All that really matters is spending time with you and Mommy, yet most of my time I have to spend working.

That’s why when the three of us are all awake, I make sure the time we spend is quality time.

Of all the life lessons I will be teaching you, perhaps the truth that “happiness can’t be chased” is one of the hardest for me to consistently teach by example.

But I can’t show you that we’re already happy with what we have now, I’ll definitely never be able to show you if we ever get more than we have now.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Spirituality

Praying For Your Young Child, Beyond Their Safety and Future

December 15, 2012 at 11:08 pm , by 

2 years.

Dear Jack,

I recently realized something: I haven’t really been prayingspecifically for you. Instead, I’ve been mainly just lumping you in with our family.

Subconsciously, I keep asking myself, “What else should I pray about aside, from his safety and that he will have a bright future? He’s only 2 years old.”

That’s pretty much all my prayers for you have been about: Your safety and your future.

But beyond that, on a daily basis, what else do I want for you? What should I ask God for on your behalf?

I’ve been thinking about this all week and I guess the thing is, until I take the time to write it down, I won’t know the answer.

It’s like I get so used to the habit of praying ad-lib style, that I hardly take the time to map out my thoughts and translate them into prayers.

So while this prayer will surely evolve as you grow older, here’s my prayer for you for right now:

“Heavenly Father, thank you for my son Jack. Please protect him from harm and give him a bright future.

As for his interactions with others today, I pray that in his young age as he is developing his skills to communicate and share, help him to love others as himself.

Let him be a friend today to those who need a friend. Let him be encouraging, strong, and yet still humbled.

Bless him as he learns today about colors and shapes, words and numbers, and all Your creation in between. I pray He will see Your truth in this life and that he will see Your love through me.

Lead me today, as I lead him. I pray in Your name, amen.”

The obvious thing I can’t help but think about as I see this prayer, is the last line. Jack, it’s true you are both a gift and a responsibility.

Sure, the older you get, the more responsible for yourself you will become. But as for now, I am overly mindful of the role I play in your life.

I don’t take my role as your dad lightly. Therefore, I’m very deliberate in how I raise you. That includes how I discipline you, communicate with you, entertain you, engage you, and teach you both small and important lessons in life.

The light doesn’t just one day switch on, and suddenly, what I do as your dad suddenly starts really mattering.

I’ll do my best for you, Son. So help me God.

 

Love,

Daddy

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Processing The Newtown, Connecticut School Shooting As A Parent

December 14, 2012 at 8:06 pm , by 

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Starfish Gives Birth To Dog, According To 2 Year-Old Marine Biologist

December 12, 2012 at 11:01 pm , by 

2 years.

Dear Jack,

You know who Santa is now; not because Mommy and I have told you about him, but basically because of all the inflatable yard decorations you see on the way home from daycare everyday.

I have a feeling you won’t ever need me to fill in all the magical details about Santa flying through the air in a gravity-defying sleigh, led by a red-nosed reindeer.

Something that really fascinates me about you is how you know the difference between reality and science fiction, at only 2 years old.

Not only do you have bizarre Santa stories surrounding you, but you also have your Thomas the Train TV shows that you watch; accompanied by the matching toys.

That leads you to further use your imagination to make up weird story lines for your playtime. Even in the car yesterday, out of nowhere, you proclaimed:

“Santa crashed into the train… and the birds.”

You’re good at making up grandiose stories involving characters you’re familiar with.

Observing your bath time is always a wonderfully absurd theatrical production. That is why I love being your bath director when Mommy isn’t able to do it.

Your favorite episode is when the purple starfish bath toy speaks to her daughter; a Collie named Charlie.

“It’s Charlie’s Mommy,” you squeak out in a falsetto voice.

Then you walk Charlie closer to listen to his mother, the starfish. From there, it’s pretty much high-pitched Gibberish involving the Starfish mother telling Charlie to get ready for school… I think.

Seriously, how do you separate science fiction from reality?

As hilarious as you are when you play, you still can quickly convert to being more serious; randomly updating me with realistic tidbits:

“Daddy wears the fluffy jacket.”

“I like chocolate for dinner.”

“I stink… I poop.”

Switching back from the world of your imagination to the world of your perception of actual reality is something you do so flawlessly.

I think it’s safe to say you’re going to be a lot like me: You keep your head in the clouds, but you stand on solid ground.

 

Love,

Daddy