parenting

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Will Cash Be Obsolete To The Class Of 2029?

February 4, 2013 at 11:04 pm , by 

2 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

This past Saturday morning as I laid down on the floor in a haze, having woken up at 5:40 AM with you, I watched you carry around one of Mommy’s old purses, which for some reason you called your “wallet like Daddy’s.”

You then took out an old expired debit card and slid it across your high chair:

“I buy groceries with my money.”

The fact you have quietly observed Mommy and I scan our debit card enough times to associate that action with the word “money” is interesting to me.

You do understand the concept of coins being money because you have a piggy bank.

However, I’m pretty sure you have no idea whatcash is. I just don’t know that you’ve ever seen Mommy or I use it.

By the time I graduated high school in 1999, I had never even heard of a debit card. All I ever used to buy anything was the green stuff, not a card.

You will graduate high school exactly 30 years after Mommy and I did. It will be the year 2029.

I’m wondering by the time you’re 18, if using cash to buy something will be as obsolete as land line phones, video rental stores, or writing checks.

To you, money may simply be a debit card. (We are Dave Ramsey followers so the thought of a credit card is taboo in our family.)

As for me, I grew up seeing how much each individual bill was worth. I knew that I preferred a $10 bill over a $1 bill. The numbers meant something more… certainly quantifiable.

For you, though, the concept of money will be much different if you grow up using a debit card instead of cash. When you look down at a debit card, you won’t literally see a sign noting $20.

Therefore, it becomes your parents’ responsibility to teach you the importance of budgeting. We must incorporate in your mind that a debit card does not symbolize simply the total amount of money in the account, but more importantly, it symbolizes the key to accessing the specific amount set aside for that exact purchase that particular day.

Mommy and I have definitely had to learn the hard way when it comes to money. But this week, we are paying off our other car.

Then, we’ll just have the rest of my student loans before we’re debt-free.

I think it’s cool to see you scan your debit card like Mommy and Daddy. I really look forward to teaching you how money works; even if it’s without getting our hands on cold, hard cash.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

Children’s Yogurt That Is All Natural, Vegetarian, Kosher, and Affordable

February 3, 2013 at 11:42 pm , by 

2 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

I have trust issues with major yogurt brands. They have a nasty habit of throwing in mysterious ingredients that I can’t feel good about you consuming, as your health freak dad.

Like I mentioned yesterday in “Buying The Family’s Groceries Based On Ingredients, Not Calories,” I’m a stickler for finding out what’s in food, then researching the ingredients I’m unsure of:

“When we’re buying groceries, the first thing we look for on the front of the package is ‘No artificial flavors, artificial colors, artificial sweeteners, or high fructose corn syrup.’”

This past weekend I did my homework. I went to different grocery stores comparing their yogurt brands.

Here’s what I learned:

Even aside from all the fake red food dye which is derived from their petroleum or bugs, the well-known yogurt brands put gelatin in their product.

That means that their yogurt contains a mixture of the skin, cartilage, horns, and bones from animals like pigs and cows; or fish, if it’s labeled “kosher gelatin.”

Interestingly, the more expensive organic brands of yogurt, often aimed at babies and young children, do not contain gelatin.

It’s not just because we’re vegetarians that we avoid ground up animal bi-products in our foods. The way I see it, a hundred years ago when people ate yogurt, they probably didn’t go through the efforts to sprinkle their yogurt with gelatin.

Since I’m very deliberate that our family avoids processed foods as much as possible, I feel that a non-meat food product that requires ground up animal bi-products to taste or look right is too processed for us.

What is the alternative to gelatin in yogurt? Locust bean gum, which is derived from the seeds of trees; I assume they cost more than the animal bi-products that gelatin comes from.

However, there was one brand of yogurt that met all my strict qualifications: It had to be all natural, healthy, vegetarian, kosher, and yet still as affordable as the competition.

The winner… Chobani Greek Yogurt!

So I bought you an 8 pack of their Champions Tubes, which are portable pouches of their Greek Yogurt.

You had no hesitation in trying it. In fact, your immediate response after your first taste was, “I can like it!”

Then I grabbed a tube myself and realized just how good it was. I’ve never tasted yogurt that was so pure and “unchemically,” which is a word I just made up.

You immediately got upset that I ate one of yourChobani Champions Tubes.

Jack, just realize how epic that is. You got upset with me because I took from you the only all natural, vegetarian, kosher, and yet still affordable yogurt on the mainstream market.

We both win.

My congrats to Chobani Greek Yogurt, who I’m sure have no idea who I am, for earning my trust and becoming the only yogurt brand that shares my same high standard and beliefs in what good food should be.

I can like it.

 

Love,

Daddy

Chobani Champions® quick facts featured on their website:
  • Only natural ingredients
  • No synthetic growth hormones, preservatives, or artificial sweeteners
  • A good source of protein
  • An excellent source of vitamin D
  • A good source of bone-building calcium
  • Five live and active cultures, including three strains of probiotics
  • Gluten-free and Kosher certified
  • Free of nut, soy, wheat, and shellfish allergens
  • Available in four delicious flavors that kids will love. (Verry Berry, Honey-Nana, Orange Vanilla and Vanilla Chocolate Chunk)
Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

Buying The Family’s Groceries Based On Ingredients, Not Calories

February 2, 2013 at 11:32 pm , by 

2 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

Having kept off the 25 pounds I lost in 2009, it’s weird to look back and see a “beefier” version of myself.

That picture you see is from September 2008; just a few months after Mommy and I got married; back in the days before I had to change my lifestyle to combat and eventually get rid of my dyshidrotic eczema.

Those were the days before I ate actual fruit; instead I was drinking fruit juice, which increased my intake of processed sugar and stripped the fruit of its crucial fiber content.

Those were the days I was still drinking low-fat milk, which actually promotes weight gain; instead of exclusively drinking whole milk like our family does now. (I tested this out on myself and documented it online for any doubting Thomases.)

I wasn’t drinking 3 liters of water a day to help wash out the toxins I’m exposed to on a daily basis.

I wasn’t taking walks during my breaks at work or finding some other way to be physically active for at least 25 minutes a day, minimum.

I was eating more than 4 to 6 ounces of meat a day; which slowed down my digestion.

Only a few people said anything about it to me, back in 2009: “Hey, you’ve gained some weight since getting married, haven’t you?”

But as a guy, I wasn’t really concerned about gaining weight. Honestly, I wouldn’t have changed anything if it weren’t for the constant headaches, digestion problems, rashes all over my body, noticeable acne, and blistered, swollen hands.

It wasn’t until I lost 25 pounds and got down to the proper weight, that my health problems seemed to just magically disappear.

If I could narrow it down to one main thing I started doing differently that made the biggest difference in improving my health, and as a side effect, losing excess weight, it was that I started doing everything I could toavoid processed foods.

In other words, I stopped counting calories and started reading ingredients.

Most popular diet programs seem to be based on the idea that once you run out of your calories for the day, you have to stop eating. That means that it’s okay to eat a fast food burger, fries, and a soda for lunch, but you may not be able to “afford” a healthy banana with dinner.

Interestingly, our family never counts calories, nor do we refrain from eating when we’re hungry. The secret is, there are a lot of ingredients we won’t eat.

When we’re buying groceries, the first thing we look for on the front of the package is “No artificial flavors, artificial colors, artificial sweeteners, or high fructose corn syrup.”

All of those ingredients make the product a red flag for it being a highly processed food.

That would explain why finding a good yogurt brand for you is a bit problematic. I’ll be writing to you about that tomorrow…

We also check out the daily percentage for the sugar content and sodium content, which explains why we avoid granola bars and soup.

Another red flag is any food that has the word “diet” or “light” in it. We just say no to mysterious chemicals.

While a diet soda doesn’t contain the sugar content a normal soda does, if nothing else, it distracts us from the drinking enough water for the day.

Why are we not constantly craving foods full of fat and sugar? Why are we not constantly hungry?

Here’s the secret: We capitalize on the good fats, good proteins, and good sugars.

Good fats and proteins include nuts, avocados, seeds and minimally processed dairy products; as opposed to consuming more than 4 to 6 ounces of meat per day, depending on body weight.

Good sugars include whole fruits and whole grains; as opposed to sweet tea, soft drinks, sugary coffees, cake, candy, and white bread.

Because we build our snacks and meals around the good foods, not their evil counterparts, we are able to give our bodies the natural nutrients they need and crave.

This is the life you were born into, Jack. You have Mommy and I as parents. As you get older, it may seem we are depriving you of the good stuff.

Just remember, we learned when you were an infant that you have inherited the eczema from me. So if we don’t keep you on the straight and narrow, it will lead to a life of pain, discomfort, and frustration for you.

We live this way because we care about you.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

P.S. I’m not a doctor or nutritionist, nor do I have a product or program to sell here. I am just a dad who happened to learn this stuff through trial and error; using myself as a Guinea pig.

Everything I have shared with you today was simply what I taught myself from the process of trying to figure out the cure to eczema.

Again, I have been eczema-free since 2009. I am very eager and willing to respond with any other readers of this letter who have more questions about anything I have mentioned here today or want to learn about more additional ways to cure eczema.

 

1 Comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Forcing Your Kid To Apologize And Hug The Other Kid

February 1, 2013 at 11:32 pm , by 

2 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

In yesterday’s “Asking A Toddler Why They Did Something Wrong” I explained how you got in trouble at school yesterday for throwing a toy at a friend, hitting them in the face and leaving a mark. I also explained how you were disciplined for it.

So today is the direct sequel to that story.

When I was a kid, I hated having to apologize and hug “the other kid” when I hurt them.

I didn’t like that it was forced. I would think to myself, “This obviously isn’t a real hug. I’m only saying I’m sorry because I have to. This is stupid.”

Now that I’m the parent, having you apologize to and hug your victim was the first thing I made you do once you got to school today and saw “the other kid.”

Turns out, though, “the other kid” just so happens to be one of your very best friends, Sophie Culpepper. I have mentioned her here on The Dadabase more than any other friend.

In other words, she’s no generic kid without a face or name. From you and her playing at your 2nd birthday party, all the way back to November 2011 when I first wrote a story about you two, you both have been buddies this whole time.

So this morning as I was unstrapping you from you car seat, I whispered to you, as if I was some divine voice from above trying to subconsciously place the idea in your head:

“Today, you need to apologize to Sophie and give her a hug.”

When we arrived in the classroom, I placed you on the floor next to Sophie. I whispered my divine instructions to you again, with Sophie’s mom watching too.

You froze. You usually do when we cross over from “family mode” to “school mode.”

I’m going to assume that after the parents went away, you did what I asked of you. Sure, it may just be wishful thinking.

But I know you really are sorry about what happened. I’ve learned here recently when you get in trouble with Mommy and I before leaving for school, you’ll be quiet the whole trip. Then, as I’m taking you inside to KinderCare, you will say with shame, “I listen to Mommy.”

(Translation: “I will listen to you and Mommy next time, instead of freaking out about not getting to watch Mater’s Tall Tales when it’s time to go.”)

If it’s true you hurt the ones you love the most, then I, in some strange way, can understand that your first victim of a toy-to-the-face throw had to be your best girl friend.

After all, you’ve grown up with Sophie in your daycare. She’s so much like a sister to you. If I did the math, you might even spend more waking hours with her than I am able to spend with you myself.

So yes, a forced apology and hug may seem a bit awkward to you, but those things help you to understand that hurting others comes with consequences; not just physical, but emotional.

Like I said yesterday, I know that it’s challenging right now for you to understand your emotions, but when you hug the person you have hurt, it helps send a message of emotional healing in the relationship.

Better are forced apologies and hugs than ignoring the offense all together. However, I know that the more I force them on you, the more natural and sincere they will become.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Asking A Toddler Why They Did Something Wrong

February 1, 2013 at 12:13 am , by 

2 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

Today when I picked you up from KinderCare, your teacher gave me an incident report to sign:

“Jack threw a toy at a friend, hitting them in the face. Left a good sized mark. Separated them. Had time to himself and we talked about being nice to friends and using words when upset.”

It’s so natural for me to respond by asking you, “Jack… why did you do that?Why did you throw a toy at your friend?”

I realize now that by asking you that, I’m asking you a question you yourself don’t know the answer to.

In fact, you’re sort of relying on me to explain why you did it.

After all, while you can now easily and quickly piece together sentences to communicate things you observe, you’re not really able to communicate to me how you feel unless you are either very happy or very sad. Therefore, asking you to explain why you feel the way you do is even more confusing for you.

Right now Mommy and I are working on teaching you different emotions to describe how you feel. While you don’t quite yet understand “angry,” you do understand “sad.”

So I guess the best way to help you understand why you threw a toy at your friend and hit them in the face is maybe something like this:

“Jack, today you hurt your friend when you threw your toy at them. I think you might have felt angry when you did it. That made your friend sad. Jack, please say you’re sorry to them tomorrow. We hand our toys to our friends instead of throwing them; even if they do something we don’t like.”

You had to go to bed without your usual playtime at your train table, plus you didn’t get to take any of your trains to bed. That’s pretty weird for me… the thought of you going to bed without your little talking die-cast trains.

Ultimately, why you threw a toy at your friend doesn’t change the fact that I need to teach you to not throw a toy at a friend… for any reason.

So now, I don’t care about the why. I care about the how: How can I teach you that what you did was not nice?

By trying to help you use words to describe how you feel, asking you to apologize to your friend, and then by taking away your favorite toys for the night.

(There may be a better way. If there is, I’m open to suggestions from anyone else who happens to be reading this letter.)

 

Love,

Daddy