Nostalgia

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Vacation Destination: “The Snow” To See Santa Claus

September 4, 2013 at 10:47 pm , by 

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I’m 32, The Age I’m Supposed To Turn Into My Parents

August 27, 2013 at 10:24 pm , by 

2 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack,

A concept that is going viral right now is that at age 32, according to a poll on Netmums.com, we “turn into our parents.”

The Netmums News Team explains it like this:

“It is at this age when we are most likely to find ourselves echoing our own parents’ phrases or mannerisms…

The grown-up responsibilities of having children, owning a house and having a busy career all contributed to the feeling of becoming more and more like your own parents.”

Fate would have it that I just so happen to be a 32 year-old daddy blogger at the exact moment in history when this concept has gone viral. That’s pretty cool, huh?

So, have I become my parents? Do I echo their phrases and mannerisms? Do I feel more like my own parents because I have a child and own a house and have a busy career, too?

Yes and no.

No, because I feel like they made this parenting thing, as well as the busy career and owning a house thing, seem so worry-free and easy.

In that way, I feel like I haven’t turned into them, though I want to.

Maybe I’m realizing that I am giving myself an extra challenge as a parent because I want this all to seem as easy as I thought it was for my own parents.

As far as how I have definitely turned into my parents, I do admit to using my hands a lot when I talk- which tends to happen when your mother is half Italian.

Basically, my personality comes from my mom. I’ve never really thought about that before… interesting.

And it’s pretty evident to me that I am ultimately a vegan (I mean, I’m living a plant-based lifestyle; which is the more marketable, less offensive term) because it seems like my dad was always teaching me as a kid to question where our food comes from and to relate eating processed foods to getting cancer and diseases.

So it should be no surprise that, as a 32 year-old adult, I now associate Monsanto with the devil and I see GMO foods as the mark of the beast. (That’s a slight exaggeration. Not really.)

I felt so deprived because it seemed I was the only kid I knew who wasn’t allowed to eat white bread or drink soda at his own house except for on very special occasions. (I thank my dad for that now!)

He seemed to always have a distrust of medicine and the FDA, instead teaching me to rely on what was already available in nature to prevent and cure health problems. (Which is exactly what I successfully did with my eczema, severe allergies, and sinus problems!)

Plus, he was always open-minded to the unpopular theories that mainstream society and popular culture often ridiculed or ignored, which I think was fundamental in me becoming a Libertarian, in regards to my political stances.

So yes, at age 32, I’m pretty much a mix of my parents the way I remember them while growing up; which again, wasn’t at all a negative thing.

The question is, will you become me in about 30 years? If so, you’ll basically become your grandparents.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

P.S. The pictures of me with my parents, featured above, are from around Christmas 1983, nearly 30 years ago, which is when I was about your age now.

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The Funny Things You Fear As A Kid

August 22, 2013 at 9:56 pm , by 

2 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack,

Mommy got you a really cool nightlight today. It’s your first one, actually.

Ah yes, the time has finally come when we can’t simply lay you down for the night, in the pitch black darkness of your room, without thoughts of monsters under your bed or in your closet.

Actually, it’s not really that classic fear of monsters that sets you back. I’m sort of convinced you like monsters and that the thought of them being scary has never crossed your mind.

Instead, the prompt to get you a nightlight was based more on the fact you recently have been convinced there is “blackbird” in your room.

It almost sounds like a scene from a PG-13 rated horror movie.

In other words, it’s creepier for Mommy and me that it probably is for you to think about a blackbird in your room.

So we figured a Volkswagen Bug night light would be a good way to help dissolve those thoughts of yours.

It’s completely normal, as a kid, to fear things in your bedroom that aren’t really there; especially when it’s dark.

For me, it was aliens. In hindsight, though, I’ve yet to actually be confronted by an alien in real life- though I still think M. Night Shyamalan’s Signs is one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen.

And of course, I can also definitely relate to the Internet meme that is starting to circulate on Facebook about quicksand. Seriously, I feel like quicksand was the plot device of so many TV shows and movies I saw as a kid!

It’s true: I’ve yet to experience quicksand.

As for you, I often wonder if during my roughhousing with you, as I pretend to be assorted rabid jungle animals, like tigers and snakes, if you’ll fear those things will show up in your room.

Nope.

Pretty much just that creepy blackbird for you.

Forget about me checking under your bed for monsters. Instead, I may end up having to check your window sill for a blackbird.

That’s if your Volkswagen nightlight doesn’t scare it off first.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

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Tattoos Of Memories And Dead Skin On Trial

August 15, 2013 at 8:44 pm , by 

2 years, 8 months.

Dear Jack,

When I picked you up from school today, you had a giant sticker on your arm, like a sleeve tattoo.

You were pretty proud of it.

I asked you what the sticker said. Your reply:

“Pig! Pig! Pig!”

Evidently you were convinced that pink kitty was actually a pink pig.

I let you believe it.

Somewhat related was the little sticker on your chest of an open can of tuna fish.

When I asked you what that was about, you explained to me:

“I think it’s for the cow… he drinks it, maybe?”

There’s actually a pretty good chance that neither you nor I will ever really know why you came home with those extremely random stickers today.

(I’ll probably forget to ask your teacher tomorrow.)

But not so randomly, the event reminded me of what I consider to be one of the best songs ever written: “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)” by Green Day.

It came out half my life ago, when I was only 16.

Here’s an excerpt of it:

“So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth it was worth all the while.”

My interpretation of the song is that it’s important to appreciate the mundane, seemingly pointless, average days; as they serve as a bookmark to life… to the good ole days.

That we should do our best to capture these somewhat weird memories as they happen. And that we should also hold our current selves accountable to our former selves, in an attempt to apply what we learn from life.

(“Dead skin ” is a reference to the fact our bodies’ cells constantly are regenerating themselves.”)

So while certain days may seem like the most forgettable ever, I’ve learned that when you’re looking for it, there’s always something that made that day different than any other day you’ve ever lived.

For example, I’m sure nothing else amazing or interesting happened today in my life.

But you came home with these goofy, ridiculous stickers on you. And just by me capturing that fact in history, this seemingly mundane day stands out.

Honestly, had I not mentioned this event to you today, and made an effort to snap a few quick pictures of it, essentially it would be the same as if it never happened.

But it did.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

 

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To Be More Like Clark Griswold On Our Family Vacations

August 8, 2013 at 12:57 am , by 

2 years, 8 months.

Dear Jack,

Last week when I wrote “My Kid Doesn’t Easily Sleep In The Same Room As Me,” in reference to our recent family vacation, I ended by saying, “I just had to ask myself, ‘What would Clark Griswold do?’”

I think that’s a point worth elaborating on.

There is a lot of behavior of the fictional character, first introduced in the 1983 movieNational Lampoon’s Vacation, that I do not wish to replicate.

However, he does possess a quality I very much admire. It’s the fact that, with pride as a husband and father, he ultimately remains optimistic and adventurous on family vacations.

Yeah, that’s not necessarily me right now… but I’m working on it.

I’ve said it before, it’s hard for me to not be in control. It’s how I’m wired.

But on a family vacation, so little is in my control, especially when it comes to your sleeping arrangements. And if you don’t sleep well, I don’t sleep well. Then we’re both really grouchy the next day!

This may sound “out there,” but I have recently started practicing the art of meditation. It’s actually been very helpful to me.

I’ve learned to focus on what I can control versus what I can’t.

Turns out, my attitude and my perception of reality are what I can control the most.

And now, I’m applying my meditation principles in everyday life; not just on family vacations.

I find a quiet moment and place at some point each day and “focus on nothing,” clearing my head of un-dealt with concerns.

Then I pray for wisdom, humility, and grace.

In the process, I realize so much of what I let bother me is actually rooted in fear. It’s ultimately fear that I won’t get to relax and have a peace of mind. It’s fear that I won’t get my way or be happy… or get a break.

But if I accept that a family vacation is not a true vacation, but instead, a concentrated effort to spend time with family without the distraction of work and school, then it’s easier for me to have the right mindset.

It’s not about me. It’s not about me. It’s not about me.

Honestly, this mantra has efficiently helped my attitude as a parent.

I also try to remember this quote attributed to Jim Henson:

“The attitude you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from more than what you tell them. They don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.”

This reminds me of an article I read recently about Shawn Achor, known as “Dolphin Dad,” who promotes the idea that kids learn to focus and react the way their parents teach them; including the frequency of laughter and smiling that takes place in a household, as modeled by the parents.

He believes the attributes of successful parenting are demonstrated in dolphins; because they are playful, social, and intelligent. In essence, happier parents make happier kids.

For me, at least, I can’t be happy, especially on a family vacation, if I’m focused on what will make me happy.

I have to think the opposite: What will make everyone else happy? What will it take to lose my ego and therefore lose what limits me? How can I sacrifice to make this trip memorable for everyone, instead of one we will all later wish we could forget?

Plus, I have to remind myself of the words of Clark Griswold: “This is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. You’re gonna have fun, and I’m gonna have fun.”

We’ll be taking a mini family vacation in October. I think I’m actually ready for the challenge now…

 

Love,

Daddy