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Leave a comment Posted on food reviews, funny, Nostalgia, parenting

Strawberry Banana Quesadillas On The Dark Side Of The Moon

May 11, 2014 at 4:35 pm , by

3 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

Last Saturday morning after you and Mommy made Strawberry Banana Quesadillas for breakfast, which we all loved, we decided to use the creative parts of our brains by doing some artwork together.

In our closet, you discovered some colorful foam sheets to draw on with markers. Mommy and I drew some animals per your request, while you worked on abstract pictures.

After each time you finished a new work of art, you held out the newly colored foam sheet in air and announced your next creation:

“Hey Daddy, look… this is a Skittle Fan. I think it’s an animal.”

You then explained to me your intentions. You planned to make enough works of art so that you can give one to each of your friends at school. Awesome idea!

My favorite was the last one you did. You announced to me:

“Daddy, this one is a dark, sedway moon. I think I dream about these things at night.”

Dark, sedway moon… So mysterious, so profound.

What if you really do dream about dark, “sedway” moons and your artwork is actually a window to what you dream about at night?

What if your abstract dreams will predict the future of what will happen in real life? Like a prophetic dream?

What if this is the premise of a PG-13 rated psychological thriller movie starring Robert De Niro or Greg Kinnear?

I think it could be. Hollywood will be calling me soon for the movie rights… I’m sure of it.

Or maybe I’m thinking too much into it. Actually, I think I just figured it out right now as I’m typing this: Maybe “sedway” is just your way of trying to say “side of,” as in, “dark side of the moon.”

Maybe you and I should play Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of The Moon while watching The Wizard of Oz. Or at least watch the 3rd Transformers movie.

I wasn’t even for sure that you dreamt at all yet. Now I know.

You are a fascinating kid, you know that?

Just another typical Saturday morning: Strawberry banana quesadillas and dark side of the moon.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on funny, infographic, parenting

New Infographic: Under Construction- The Ins And Outs Of Today’s Heavy Equipment Vehicles

May 9, 2014 at 10:15 pm , by

3 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

For the past several weeks on the drive home, I found a lesser discoverd route by driving through connected neighborhoods.

You named it “the new Daddy way.”

Even though we take that way home every day now, you still ask for it by name each time we hop in the car.

Part of the need for this new way home is the congestion on our former route, as Concord Road is being destroyed and people’s front lawns are being taken away…

I mean… the road is being widened to accommodate the traffic which we’re a part of.

But today, I drove home the construction site way because I thought there was an $8 sale going on at Great Clips. (I was wrong; it ended yesterday. Womp-womp.)

It had been nearly a month since you got to see the new version of that old familiar road.

You screamed out from the back seat today:

“Hey Daddy, it’s the white crane! He’s back!”

That’s right. To you, the giant crane is a he. Like a dinosaur.

It’s such a majestic sight to see all that construction equipment.

You sat in awe in the back seat.

I guess it’s not everyday you get to see such monstrous machines so close up.

It’s like cheap entertainment. (Well, actually, it’s our tax dollars affording that entertainment. Right?)

I found this infograph which shows the weight, horsepower, and average used price of several pieces of staple construction equipment.

For example, if we wanted to save up our money as a family, we might eventually (!) be able to buy a good bulldozer, for example, for about a half million dollars.

That would definitely make us the coolest family on the block!

But until we can put a solid down payment on one, you can just appreciate the “free” entertainment from the 2nd row seat.

 

Love,

Daddy

construction equipment infographic

 

Leave a comment Posted on funny, Nostalgia

Has Facebook Turned Me Into A Narcissist And/Or A Snoop?

May 7, 2014 at 9:10 pm , by

3 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

If Facebook itself were a game to be won, it would be very difficult to determine the winner. It would be even harder tobecome the winner.

Here’s what I mean.

I would think that the true “winner of the game of Facebook” would be the person least perceived by their friends as a narcissist, yet somehow isn’t secretly a snoop.

Maybe I should create a Venn diagram? (See below.)

Let me just say, I definitely am no Facebook winner.

However, I don’t want to be identified as either a narcissist or a snoop… but if I outright deny that I’m neither, doesn’t that just prove I’m a narcissist?

Since last June, I have made a point to spend less than 5 minutes a day on Facebook- and my life has become better for it. (Narcissist comment?)

Basically, I’m usually on there just long enough each day to post pictures of our family, see if I received any new notifications, and take a look at a friend or family member’s profile if I’m wondering what they’re up to. (Narcissist comment?)

Then I get the heck out of there, before I’m tempted to make a divisive comment about politics, religion, or food.

But even then, I could easily see how I could be perceived as a narcissist. I mean, seriously- everyday I post a new picture of you, or a selfie of our family, or a story about you.

To some, I very well could be that annoying guy who is perceived as trying to make it look like he has the perfect family and the perfect life, thanks to the stage of the everlasting talent show/high school reunion of Facebook.

While I’m grateful for what I’ve been blessed with, I quickly and openly recognize that my life isfar from perfect. (Narcissist comment?)

However, I do believe in the importance in being a positive influence in society; which to some, can come across as being a show-off or self-obsessed.

And then on the other side of the spectrum, if I’m not a narcissist, am I a snoop?

If I’m not a person who is perceived as tooting my own horn all day with happy pictures and stories, am I instead the opposite- a person who is quietly snooping on everyone else, without giving out too much information about my own life? (Because that’s not fair, right?)

I wonder if I can get away with admitting that it can be very challenging to scroll down my Facebook feed without having some kind of judgmental thought about someone who is clearly crying out for attention; whether it’s a negative rant, a duckface selfie, or a “look at my awesome life!” update.

Full circle. Am I that happy narcissistic person? Or the snooping friend? Or am I simply both, by default?

I’m not good at playing the game of Facebook. I’m better off just sitting on the bench- throwing in enough sporadic comments and pictures that are positive and that don’t mention questions or comments regarding politics, religion, or food; that way I’m still contributing without oversharing and inviting people to unfriend me.

All I know is to keep doing what I do: Open the window to friends and family to let them see what is going on in my life, which is you and Mommy.

But (fellow) snoops are welcome too.

 

Love,

Daddy

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My Son Thinks Our Car Windows Are Voice-Activated

April 21, 2014 at 10:20 pm , by 

3 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

Because I also write reviews for cars on the side with my personal blog, that means sometimes for months at a time, we get a brand-new vehicle each week to test-drive as a family.

With that being said, this past week we have been ridin’ dirty in a 2014 Toyota Tacoma.

This truck is the first vehicle you’ve ever been in where you can reach the power window buttons.

To a 3 year-old boy, that’s a really big deal!

For weeks prior, on the drive to school, I have been hearing you grunt and strain for several minutes, then proclaim:

“Daddy… I can’t… reach… the button. I can’t reach it, Daddy.”

But finally, this past week in the truck, I heard you announce, “Hey Daddy! I can reach it!”

Immediately, the power window started coming down.

For the past several days now, we’ve had to drive to and from school with your window down. You love to feel the air move through your fingers. It’s like the coolest thing ever to you.

This morning it was pretty chilly, so I turned the heat on full blast in order to counter the cold air coming in from your window.

You then saw my window go down as well, which prompted an amazed response:

“Hey Daddy! Your window moves by itself?!”

I realized you didn’t see that I had pressed the button, so I decided to have some fun with you.

“Jack, do want the window beside you to go down? You have to tell it to.”

You hesitated, only for a moment. You turned to the driver’s side back passenger window and spoke with authority:

“Window, go down!”

And it did.

“Hey Daddy, I made it go down! It listened!”

A few minutes later, the two remaining windows were down, thanks to your voice-activation.

Yeah, so I have a feeling from now on, with each different car we ride in, I’m going to be hearing you “voice-activate” the power windows.

It’s too much fun to let you know it’s really just me controlling them all from the driver’s seat.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on funny, Nostalgia, parenting

My “Only Child” And His “Pretend Friends”

April 14, 2014 at 9:44 pm , by 

3 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

Something I’ve heard grown “only children” tell me about their own childhood is that they always had “pretend friends”. I am seeing that concept in action every day with you.

At the grocery store, in the car, at school, at church..

You have three favorites: “Ellie” the purple elephant, featured in The Nose Book, from the $5 section at Kohl’s; “Cheetie” the blue cheetah from the discount rack at Kroger; and “Panda” the red panda you created at Build-A-Bear for your 3rd birthday.

This past week the three of them were anointed as VIPs when you provided them their own t-shirts, to make them more like real friends.

I should point out that two of those shirts are actually mine from circa 1983, but hey, I don’t mind.

One of my favorite parts about your pretend friends is how you call out to them throughout the day, not speaking to them further until they answer you.

And by “they,” I mean Mommy or myself.

By default, I have learned that I provide the voice for Panda and Cheetie, because apparently they’re boys, while Mommy is the voice for Ellie because she’s a girl.

However, you call out to Ellie (the girl) far more than you do Panda and Cheetie (the boys).

What’s funny is that the voices Mommy provides for the female friends are in falsetto, so you have difficulty figuring out whether it’s really Mommy responding… because at least half the time it’s actually me, trying to trick you.

“Hey Ellie?” you call out to the next room.

“Yes?” I reply, in a falsetto that sounds pretty much identical to Mommy’s.

“No, Daddy! You’re not a girl!” you always explain.

Yet, sometimes, even when Mommy answers you in her “Ellie” voice, you still wait for me to try to “trick” you just so you can reprimand me.

Your three friends have been so good to you, that Mommy recently had to run them through the washing machine, then set them out in the sun to dry.

(Mommy and I explained that your friends have to take baths just like you do.)

I think it’s fun that you have three pretend friends that wear my old t-shirts from when I was your age.

At least I can see your friends… so much better than imaginary friends.

We keep asking you if you want a brother or sister, but you insist on a  real dog instead.

Eh… I think we’re better off with a purple elephant, a blue cheetah, and a red panda… all of which wear t-shirts. Plus, I don’t have to feed these animals like I would a real dog.

 

Love,

Daddy