Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

When Kids’ Messes Are Really Deconstruction Learning Exercises

May 6, 2012 at 8:02 pm , by 

17 months.

Jack is finally learning how to actually play with his Lego-like blocks. He likes to see how tall he can build his tower or sword or lightsaber or whatever it’s supposed to be.

But for Jack, it’s just as much fun to tear down and break apart as it is to create.

For the past couple of weeks now, I have noticed that during his playtime, he likes to make messes… for fun.

It’s been nearly a decade since I took a Child Psychology class back when I was in college, but I have to assume that right now my son is working out the engineering part of his brain.

He is teaching himself how to deconstruct things so that he can rebuild them.

My wife told me that Jack likes to abruptly swipe all his bath toys off the tub’s ledge into the water, only to carefully place them back in order.

I’ve said it before, but I truly think Jack is going to be the opposite of me when it comes to his motor skills. He will be a clear-thinking, math and science guy; whereas I’m a deep-thinking, abstract, communications kind of guy.

That’s a good thing. We’ll have plenty to learn from each other.

Of course, that’s not to say that Jack won’t end up being a very sociable little boy, because it’s seems to me he already is.

Yes, I could have allowed myself to become annoyed when Jack started his new daily game of emptying his six different toy caddies in our living room.

But I just remind myself that my son that is becoming his own mechanics teacher.

I can’t believe I just now thought of this, but why am I cleaning up his toys when playtime ends? After all, I shouldn’t deprive him of the very valuable reconstructive lesson of placing his toys back where they belong.

He’s not a baby anymore. He’s a lightsaber swinging toddler who is sure to get better math and science grades than I ever did.

 

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Higher Paid Working Wives, Increasing Househusbands

May 4, 2012 at 12:33 am , by 

17 months.

My wife makes more money than I do. Not to mention, her job carries incredible insurance and benefits for our family.

While that would have been weird for my dad in the Eighties, here in the 2010′s it’s not so unusual. I recently read an article on CNN Money that spelled it out for me:

“In 2008, 26% of women living in dual-income households had annual earnings that were at least 10 percentage points higher than their spouse, up from 15% in 1997, according to the Families and Work Institute’s latest data.”

The article went on to say that daycare costs continue to increase while wages are not increasing.

So it only makes sense for those wives and mothers out there who are worth more financially than their husbands, in a household where it is is more financially suitable for one spouse to stay at home, that the dad becomes a “househusband” instead of the mom becoming a “housewife.”

How do I feel about this, as a lesser income-earning dad?

Personally, we couldn’t quite survive on just my wife’s solid income. But if we could?

Heck yeah. I wouldn’t hesitate at all to be a stay-at-home househusband. Of course, I’m under no illusion that it would be a breeze.

Stay-at-home parents are working parents; as every politician’s wife should know.

It’s just that as a modern dad, I by default am already extremely involved in raising my son on a daily basis. To me, I would view it as a career upgrade; especially psychologically.

Beyond all the formerly-ironic-but-now-cliche dad skills like being able to change my son’s diapers and feed him, I already consider myself his main disciplinarian, sleep trainer, and nutritionist; all of which are very important when caring for a toddler all day long.

And for everything else, I could figure it out. I’m proud of the fact my wife can make more money than I can. It’s cool that her employer sees what she’s financially worth; which again, is more than I am.

Most importantly, I want to spend as much time as I can with my son. He’s awesome! Why wouldn’t I?

I always want to have a close, well-communicated relationship with him. It starts now.

If this were the 1950′s, I would evidently be able to provide enough income for my family; my wife wouldn’t have to be a working wife.

I would come home each day and smoke a pipe while wearing a robe, sitting in my cozy chair, reading over the newspaper while halfway paying attention to my son.

That doesn’t even sound at all appealing to me. I’d rather it be this way, where I’m definitely an active and positively influential dad.

“Househusband” is not an insult; I say it’s an honor and a privilege. But even if I’m not fortunate enough to be one myself, being a dad in the 2010′s still rocks, like a T-Rex playing an orange electric guitar.

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The Official Modern American Dad Haircut Of 2012

May 3, 2012 at 10:58 pm , by 

17 months.

Number 1 clipper guard on the sides and back, blended into about one inch long on the top. That’s pretty much the official “dad haircut” these days.

There’s just something about springtime that innately causes a man to go get a haircut.

After an airplane flew over my son’s daycare two weeks ago pulling a giant banner advertising $6.99 haircuts at Great Clips, I figured I should take it as a divine intervention. So I went and did the deed.

I normally don’t go as short as a #1 guard, but as part of my lifelong project to find the perfect men’s haircut, I decided to go pretty short this time.

Over that weekend, I thought about how when I returned to work that everyone would give me a hard time about me looking like I joined the Marines or at least that I was trying to impersonate Adam Levine from Maroon 5.

See, that’s the thing about men and our own haircuts:

We don’t exactly know what we’re supposed to do; often fearing our next haircut will make us look like a member of Color Me Badd if we don’t know exactly what to tell the barber or lady holding the clippers.

Personally for me, it’s not the kind of thing I feel comfortable asking other men about nor do I want to spend a lot of time thinking about.

I just want something that it is easy, cheap, extremely low maintenance, masculine, and looks good on a guy who may or may not be aware of the fact that his forehead is getting slightly bigger every year.

And interestingly, there’s not a whole lot of realistic advice when you Google “men’s hairstyles.” Most of the websites that pull up are either booby-trapped with spam or are designed for metrosexuals and/or inspiring emo rockers.

So today I’m making it official. This is the American Dad haircut: Number 1 clipper guard on the sides and back blended into about one inch long on top.

It’s just long enough on top to put in a little Publix brand pomade to give that perfect balance of “almost messy” and “too long to spike.” Yet it’s short enough on the back and sides to bring to mind a military image.

Turns out, a lot of people at work complimented me on my new haircut. Here’s the funny thing:

I work almost entirely with other men; most of whom are dads in their late 20′s to late 30′s, who have a similar version of the haircut.

The positive reinforcement came mainly in the form of “Looking’ sharp, Nick” or “Nice haircut… what is that, a #1 guard?”

The way I see it, I would rather receive approval on a haircut from other dads and grown men, as opposed to women. Because it’s uncommon in our society for a heterosexual man to admit that another heterosexual man is handsome. It’s a rare feat.

So if I can get Big Kenny, with his Type A personality and thick New Hampshire accent to go through the trouble to say, “Look at you, Mr. Hot Rod,” I’m going to have to believe that I finally found the perfect default haircut.

Even if by writing this, I’m breaking Man Law because men aren’t supposed to talk this much about their hair, I think it’s about time someone finally revealed the Official Modern American Dad Haircut of 2012.

Actually, I think I basically stole the hairstyle from my son.

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Spirituality

My “Greatest Hits” List of Parenthood, So Far

May 1, 2012 at 11:52 pm , by 

17 months.

My wife and I can’t relate to the concept of “trying” to have kids.

At the very beginning of 2010, we decided that we might consider starting our family around November of that year. Instead, our son Jack was born, not conceived, in November 2010.

(I’ll spare you the mysterious details on how exactly that happened ahead of schedule.)

Meanwhile, our very good friends Dave and Karen were living the opposite version of that story. For Christmas 2009, Dave told Karen that all he wanted for Christmas was to be a dad. Accordingly, she very much wanted to start having children as well.

But it hasn’t been easy. They have done everything in their power to get pregnant; from cutting edge new technology to alternative medicine. None of it has been effective.

I know it’s been an emotional journey for them. If there has been one thing Jill and I have prayed more for on a daily basis, it has been for Dave and Karen to be able to have a child.

When I think of the biggest-hearted people in my life, they both instantly come to mind.

In fact, they took us into their home twice (a total of over 6 months) as we were moving to Alabama and then again when we moved back to Nashville. Interestingly, when we brought Jack “home” from the hospital, it was their house we came back to. (In the picture above, they are holding the newborn Jack.)

They have sacrificed greatly for us; amidst the ease of us being able to have a child.

And this whole time, they’ve acted as if it was their privilege to do so.

Dave and Karen recently returned from a 2 week in vitro fertilization session in Colorado. We didn’t ask them about it because we knew they would let us know if it was successful.

Yesterday my wife Jill saw that she had missed a call from Karen. This video that Karen posted on her Facebook wall pretty much sums it all up:

It just so happened they we found out their wonderful news as we were watching a Season 3 episode of Lostcalled “Greatest Hits” where Charlie learns how and when he will die; he must sacrifice his life so that his girlfriend and her son can be rescued from the island.

In the hours leading up to his death, he writes out a greatest hits list of his entire life to give to his girlfriend for the moment she would learn of his death: The #1 “hit” was when he met her.

So that’s what got me thinking about this “Greatest Hits of Parenthood” list for myself.

My list so far would be A) Jack’s safe arrival into this world, B) the fact that we has blonde-hair and blue eyes though it doesn’t make much sense when you look at his parents, C) how at 15 months he started recognizing me as his dad and choosing to want to hang out with me even if my wife was in the room too, and D) Jack surviving his febrile seizure.

But never in my life have I ever felt so much joy because of a blessing in someone else’s life.

In fact, finding out that Dave and Karen are having a baby is definitely included now on my “greatest hits” list of being a parent.

And now they get to start their own greatest hits…

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

My Wool-Capped, Wagon-Riding Toddler

May 1, 2012 at 10:21 pm , by 

17 months.

I’m assuming it’s pretty typical for infants and toddlers to not enjoy wearing hats.

My experience has always been that if I could sneak a picture of Jack wearing a hat, I was lucky. And then within a nanosecond later, he would always take the hat off his head.

Until this past weekend.

While Jill was at Publix buying groceries, I had put Jack down for his nap. When he awoke, he was ready for me to lead him on an adventure.

Once downstairs, he saw my new white fedora on the kitchen counter; pointing at it and grunting.

I placed it on his head and he liked it, but he seemed to acknowledge the hat was too big for him.

Curious by his sudden interest in a hat, I ran back upstairs with him to his room to pick through the half dozen caps in his top drawer that he has never wanted to wear before.

For some reason, he instantly fell in love with a striped wool cap with a blue puff ball on the top.

Back downstairs, he saw his Radio Flyer wagon and asked me, “Wah-wah?”

So I packed up Elmo, a book, and a water cup; somehow managing to pull the wagon through the front door with Jack in the wagon with those recently named belongings.

Keep in mind that last Sunday afternoon when this event took place, it was nearly 85 degrees outside. What was weird is that he barely sweated. Instead, his neckline was drenched in drool. (He has molars coming in right now.)

It’s hilarious to me that after insisting on wearing a wool cap while being pulled around the neighborhood in a wagon, the look on his face for the majority of the ride was not happy but, at best, stoic.

Granted, he didn’t want out of the wagon, nor did he want the hat off. In fact, a few times when the hat barely started to slip off, he communicated to me (in grunts) to straighten it up for him.

Once Jack stumbles into a routine, good luck on talking him out of it.

I imagine Jack used this road trip (though it was technically a sidewalk trip) to ponder his life thus far.

Perhaps that hat is his thinking cap? [Insert laugh tracks here.]

So much goes through a 17 month-old boy’s head when he finally gets a chance to just stop and think everything; while watching planes fly overhead on their descent to the Nashville airport.

In our neighborhood, there are over 200 townhouses.

People had to hear the wagon rolling in front of their house; looking out their window to see a man in a white fedora pulling a Radio Flyer wagon containing a seemingly dazed and confused little boy who was obviously willingly wearing a wool cap on a humid afternoon.

But since this is evidently one of Jack’s comforting new routines, I imagine soon, that the neighbors will simply say, “Oh, here comes that father and son wagon team again.”

Jack wore his hat for the rest of the afternoon until it was time for bed.