May 10, 2012 at 11:27 pm , by Nick Shell

17 months.

My wife Jill is one of those girls who keeps things very clean and organized. Now that I’ve been married to her for nearly 4 years, I have become a lot like her in that way.

Though for me, it’s more about keeping things feng shui.

And sure enough, without a doubt, our son has taken notice.

I suppose the theory on how my son reminds me of a baby bartender is that Jill would let him play with a moist diaper wipe while changing his diaper.

After having had observed her wiping off the counters every night after prepping dinner, Jack realized he could use his “toy” diaper wipe to help clean up around the house.

All it took was finding the perfect sized counter top for him to be able to wipe off: Our “coffee table,” which is actually intended to go outdoors on a patio but we found it on clearance and decided it can get the job done.

During his playtime, cleaning our coffee table has become one of his official activities that he enjoys doing. Last Saturday, I was sitting down in our living room watching him wipe it down when he casually, yet intently, came over to me and “washed” my back. Twice.

As he enjoyed his newest playtime activity, the theme song to Cheers started playing in my head. I couldn’t help but realize how much Jack’s demeanor resembled that of a token bartender on a classic TV show.

I especially feel that way when I look at the picture of him to the right. It looks like he has his sleeves rolled up, showing off his muscles.

As I allow the fantasy story line to unfold, I imagine another toddler walking up to Jack’s bar:

Jack says, “What’ll it be, a Baby Brewsky?”

His customer replies, “Nah, I’ll take a Milk & Scotch… hold the Scotch.”

But seriously, I’m digging the fact that my son actually likes cleaning; at such an early age, too.

Makes me wonder what else we can teach him to clean.

Hmm… he’s tall enough to reach the toilet seats…

May 9, 2012 at 9:51 pm , by Nick Shell

17 months.

At best, being a parent feels like a big psychosocial experiment. The goal?

To not only help my son survive to adulthood, but to teach him how to “be normal,” yet at the same time lead him to be an individual.

The ways I teach him by my example on how to verbally communicate, how to express emotions, and how to be a positively contributing member of society… well, it totally has a major effect on how he turns out.

Compared to any other investment, raising a child for the first time doesn’t make a whole lot of sense on paper.

Why should I be in charge of helping raise a kid from infancy? I wasn’t trained or ready for this by any means; simply not qualified.

Now that he’s nearly a year and a half, I finally feel confident enough to say I can get by doing this dad thing.

As you’ve just witnessed in the 37 second video clip above, my 17 month-old son willingly and preferably eats not only prunes but also spinach. Yeah, that’s not normal for most toddlers… or humans of any age.

As Steve Urkel would say, “Did I do that?”

Has my 17 months of parenting him caused him to actually like prunes and spinach? Or is it just the rare chance that he actually wants to eat those foods?

I guess we can’t know for sure, but I’ll take credit for it from anyone who is willing to give it to me.

After all, I personally I am a big fan of psychosocial experiments. At work today, I wore bold green corduroys with a clashing green necktie and a mint green shirt; just to see who in my office would assume I was being serious.

Even worse, on Monday I wore a vintage burnt orange leisure suit and tomorrow I will wore a white suit with a red Hawaiian shirt. And yes, there are people in my office who don’t realize it’s a joke. They truly believe I have that horrible of a fashion sense.

Another way I like to psychosocially experiment with people is on Facebook. I have this habit of writing bogus status updates that always involve me asking advice.

There was one where I needed to get a face tattoo removed by the weekend. Another where I was considering getting a nose job (making it bigger, not smaller) in order to be taken more seriously as a leader.

My latest hoax involves me accidently hitting a Bald Eagle with my car and sustaining its life by feeding it Children’s Tylenol and whiskey in my bathroom.

Yes, each time, there is at least one person who thinks I’m being serious.

So maybe on second thought, it’s not so ironic that an unexperienced guy like me would be a dad, because it’s pretty obvious I enjoy psychosocial experiments.

Now, what other kind of unlikely foods can I “teach” my toddler to eat?