The Importance Of A Boy Owning A Fire Engine Truck

September 23, 2012 at 9:31 pm , by 

22 months.

My wife and I joke about the fact we hardly ever by our son any new toys.

He has six caddies full of toys that mainly consist of gifts A) from his birthday party nearly a year ago and B) from when he was first born nearly two years ago.

Between his regular daycare and his church daycare and his friends’ toys when he has play dates, Jack has daily access to several toy communities.

For the past couple of months now, Jack has had the same amount of love in his heart for fire trucks as Elmo, which is saying a lot.

The flames of his fascination are flamed even more every day at his daycare, which happens to be located right across the street from the local fire station.

Jack can do a pretty incredible impression of a fire truck by now.

I’ll be driving him home and from the back seat I’ll  hear, “Wwwwhheeeaaahhhllllwwwhhh!”

(Yes, that’s the official spelling of the sound of a fire engine.)

However, it was only just today that we finally got him his very own fire truck. You’d think it be pretty easy to find a Matchbox or Hot Wheels fire truck, but no…

Either you pay at least 7 bucks for a goofy, cartoonish-looking one, or you pay at least $25 for a giant fire truck that your son wouldn’t be able to carry around with him everywhere he goes.

Well fortunately, we were able to find the right sized and the right priced fire engine truck today at Walmart. It’s made by a brand called Maisto and the thing only cost 72 cents!

Now granted, Jack’s new fire truck is also unintentionally (?) a lowrider. And it could also pass for some weird tank thing if the ladder were a canon instead.

But hey, Jack couldn’t be more excited! All he knows is, he finally has his very own fire truck.

He is so proud of it.

When he got home, he lined it up as the leader of a parade consisting of his two Thomas the Train cars and two of my old Stomper cars from McDonald’s Happy Meals back in 1985.

Oh, and a horse and a goat. They were also part of the joyous celebration.

With Jack’s 2nd birthday coming up on November 16th, I know my parents have already hinted that they got him areal fire truck toy.

I imagine it is the kind he can roll around on the floor with the big Tonka truck they got Jack for his birthday last year.

He will be so excited to get it, too; I’m sure of it.

Something he’s been doing here recently is when he has both a small and large version of toy, one becomes the baby and the other becomes the Dada.

In other words, today we bought Jack his “baby fire truck.” His “Dada fire truck” will be arriving within the next 60 days.

 

What Would Change If There Was No Censorship On TV?

September 23, 2012 at 3:39 pm , by 

22 months.

As parents we have to be very aware of what our children are exposed to, especially in our own homes.

So what would change if there was no censorship on TV?

I think it’s only natural for our first reaction to possibly be that we assume there would automatically be constant f-words and racial slurs, marathons of pornography, and live assassinations and other types of violent, bloody viewings of people losing their lives.

The funny thing is, people who want to see those kind of things are able to watch them any time they want… on the Internet, where there already is no censorship.

But TV is much different than the Internet; TV more controllably directs millions of people to one program at once, therefore making sponsorship a more fickle thing.

There’s this whole concept of “things you can’t say or do on TV” but the truth is, we the people, the free market, are the ones deciding the ultimate standards we see on television.

The halftime show of Super Bowl XXXVIII is the best example I can think of. Yeah, that was the one with the infamous “Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake” incident.

The FCC, The Federal Communications Commission, fined the CBS network a record $550,000; because so many people called in to complain.

It’s safe to say that the majority of those people who complained were parents who were offended by what the network allowed their children to see on TV.

My best understanding of censorship on television is this:

Each TV network has its own censors, who decide what subject matter is too racy or vulgar to keep them in good standing with A) The FCC and B) their viewers.

In other words, the TV networks are simply making an effort to avoid getting fined and losing viewers, which means they lose sponsors for their programs.

For example, American society has decided that the word “sh–” is too vulgar to be spoken on the major networks, meanwhile, “g.d.” is not.

In fact, this past Friday I watched Primetime: What Would You Do? where “sh–” was bleeped out but “g.d.” was clearly spoken, uncensored.

Even a decade ago, “g.d.” was still too taboo for us to hear on TV without flinching.

But speaking of breaking the 3rd commandment, using God’s name in vain, I think we’ve got things a bit mixed up.

We tend to think of “g.d.” as meaning “curse God” when really it’s the other way around; “God-cursed.” In its worst use, “g.d.” is like saying “God forsaken” because the worst way to be cursed by God is to be sentenced to a state of being where He is not present.

But I think it’s safe to say that none of us are offended by hearing “God forsaken” even though it means the same thing as “g.d.”

Ironically, what isn’t really offensive anymore to hear on TV is when people say “Oh my God!” which seems to be the unofficial catch-phrase of the show,Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

(I’ve noticed that’s what people yell repeatedly when they enter their new house for the first time.)

To me, “Oh my God” is more offensive than “g.d.” because “Oh my God” is so careless; at least “g.d.” indirectly recognizes God’s sovereignty.

I use this example of “g.d.” to point out this: Obscenity is simply in the perception of the individual, or more relevantly, the majority.

So to answer the question of what would change if there was no censorship on TV, I’d say it would be this:

Many people would be less likely to watch TV, not having a guideline of what to expect.

The flip side is that TV networks would probably be even more conservative on what they allowed on their programs, without having official censors working for them to professionally protect them.

Censorship serves to protect TV networks from losing money, not to protect us from what we don’t want to see or hear.

Otherwise, we’d be more careful to censor the TV ourselves; which is why I don’t watch much on TV to begin with.

My Kid Has Learned His Own Name And A Sense Of Identity

September 22, 2012 at 10:47 pm , by 

22 months.

In the midst of all the semi-organized chaos of watching your kid grow up, there are subtle changes that occur which can be pretty easy to miss.

Today it hit me: Jack has not only gained a neck, but he has also lost his double chin.

He has been a sturdy baked potatosince he was born. But now as my toddler’s baby fat is being chiseled away, the body of a little boy is beginning to emerge.

Even his Santa Claus belly is starting to disappear.

As my wife and I have recently been looking back at pictures of Jack from over a year ago, I noticed how he was more of a generic “baby blob.” He’s gone from a Muppet Baby to more of an actual Muppet.

Now we are experiencing the rebooted version of our kid. He still has the same personality and quirks of the 1 year-old version of himself, but is now more enhanced.

We are now seeing our son in high definition. It’s not just that he looks more like a real boy, but he acts more like one too.

This isn’t something I’ve really thought about until just now, but I’m seeing my son develop a sense of dignity; finding it through independence and an awareness of his own identity.

The kid is determined to learn to poop in the potty, without any subliminal motivation from his parents. He’s psychologically desiring to outgrow diapers, like a “big boy.”

At the same time, he doesn’t want us making all the trivial decisions for him anymore. Like, he wants to decide which shoes to wear.

Even while getting him ready for his noontime nap today, he made us aware he needed to wear his pajamas, not his regular clothes.

Jack officially knows his name is Jack now. Along with that is the fact is he is wanting to establish who Jack is, apart from every other toddler he knows.

After all, he did invent “Beans and Rice Juice.”

Help! I’m Being Targeted By Rebooted 1980′s Toy Characters

September 22, 2012 at 2:37 pm , by 

22 months.

I’m not complaining. In fact, I’m a little flattered.

When I step into any toy aisle in pointless attempts to find a small fire engine truck under $3 for my son, my eyes are instantly drawn by the rebooted 1980′s toys I played with myself.

I mean, it’s so deliberate: Transformers, Thundercats, GI Joe, Star Wars, Smurfs, Ghostbusters, and even a new Nickelodeon version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that cost $8.99 per action figure.

(Ninja Turtles were only $3.89 when I was growing up.)

Even Disney is getting in on the rebooted nostalgic action. The next time you go to a Target, take a look in the clothing aisle for their “Disney Artist Collection,” featuring classic characters like The Cheshire Cat, The Big Bad Wolf, and even Mickey Mouse.

Oh yeah, remember that guy?

There’s actually talk of Mickey Mouse getting his very own movie, for the first time ever; in the likeness of the low-key, classic feel of the Winnie The Pooh movie in 2011.

To be honest, and possibly offensive, if you ask me, Winnie the Pooh needed a make-over anyway, so I applaud the fact that Pooh was brought back with class.

It seems like shortly after I stopped being a kid, Winnie the Pooh became this uncool mascot who I identified with those tacky oversized “nighty” t-shirts at Wal-Mart in the 1990′s.

So go ahead, toy and clothing companies, hit me with your best shot. See if you can convince me, the casual consumer, to buy your nostalgic product based on my own warm and fuzzy memories.

The funny thing is, all I have to do is go to my parents’ house, upstairs to my old bedroom, and pull out the bottom drawer of my dresser.

From there I can unleash on my son all the glory of every action figure I ever owned.

But not yet, the time has not yet come. He’s not ready for all that American splendor.

With that being said, so far I’ve yet to give in to the pressure and buy my son a kick-awesome Lion-O action figure.

But just give it time…

My Son’s Delicious “Beans And Rice Juice” Recipe

September 21, 2012 at 11:20 pm , by 

22 months.

Jack’s “Beans and Rice Juice”

Ingredients: water, black beans, rice

Directions: Add one toddler-sized handful of black beans to a sippy cup full of water. Stir by hand. Next, add  one toddler-sized handful of rice. Again, stir by hand. Bottoms up!

I suppose the word “delicious” is a bit relative, especially when talking about my 22 month-old son’s sense of good taste.

Go ahead, don’t be shy. It’s okay to save these pictures on Pinterest to share in your “Recipes I Need To Try” folder.

The obvious irony in my son drinking this homebrew is that, like most toddlers, he won’t just eat anything.

In fact, he will only eat certain things.

Let’s see, there’s Annie’s Homegrown Classic Macaroni & Cheese, bananas, prunes, Cheerios, and of course, beans and rice.

As the home video below demonstrates, Jack very willingly drank his “Beans and Rice Juice.”

I loved how he felt the need to commit to drinking his new invention.

It reminds me of when my sister and I were kids in the late Eighties. Nearly every weekend, our Italian grandfather would take us and our parents out to a Southern steakhouse called Quincy’s, “home of the big fat yeast roll.”

When we were finished eating, we would get bored as we were waiting on the adults to finish.

So I would whip up a fancy concoction in my water glass, consisting of salt, pepper, ketchup, lemons, Worcestershire sauce, Heinz 57, A1, and any another free condiment I had easy access to.

“I’ll give you 5 Airheads if you drink a swallow of this,” I would tell my sister.

And she would.  Airheads candy was evidently a rare commodity for a 6 year-old girl.

But as far as my son drinking “Beans and Rice Juice,” there is no bribing being done here.

He’s just being a cool, weird, adventurous little boy.