Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Recaps

Parents And Politics: Delaware’s New “Spanking Ban”

October 2, 2012 at 9:14 pm , by 

22 months.

Is the state of Delaware really banning spanking? Not exactly, but in theory, sort of.

Governor Jack Markell, a Democrat, passed Bill 234 last month, which contains an ambiguous phrase that I have conveniently copied and pasted for your convenience:

(j) “Physical injury” to a child shall mean any impairment of physical condition or

pain.

That’s why Bill 234 is controversial.

Because let’s face it: Spanking causes pain. That’s basically the whole point.

So it’s possible this bill could be interpreted that a parent could be breaking the law by causing pain to their child, via spanking.

Ouch.

How should we feel about that?

Immediately thoughts of “Oh no, now Big Brother is going to try to keep me from disciplining my own child!” come to mind.

The lines begin to blur regarding discipline and child abuse. What if other states adopt a similar bill?

When I hear a story like this, I remind myself what the root of it is. It’s not about whether or not spanking is wrong or right.

It’s about giving the government control over personal issues like this.

The question isn’t about spanking. The question is whether or not you support a “hands off” approach to government or a “decide what it is right for us, government” approach, instead.

Personally, I don’t believe in spanking. I raise my son with a strict, consistent method based on time-outs and taking away privileges, followed by clear communication with him explaining A) why his behavior merited the discipline and B) that I love him, then I hug him.

However, I support a parent’s right to spank their child. Because after all, who am I to stay that my method is better than spanking?

That’s not my call. Nor is it the government’s.

(Can you tell I’m a Libertarian?)

So as we approach this important Presidential election next month on November 6th, keep this mind:

You are voting for a political party and their ideologies, more so than a particular man.

Will you vote for a political party that lets the government decide how you discipline your own child, as well as,how many ounces of soda you can buy for your child when in New York City?

Or are you okay with making those decisions yourself?

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, People

What’s Your Parenting Product Differentiation?

October 1, 2012 at 9:09 pm , by 

22 months.

What is that one fixation you have as a parent that you hope sets your child (your product) apart in a good way?

I’ve noticed that in my conversations and dealings with fellow parents of toddlers, we all seem to have some unique element regarding how we raise our kids, and therefore, have a certain expectation of how they will perform on their own.

For example, some parents are proud of the fact their child is advanced physically, being able to walk, run, and spin themselves dizzy before other toddlers of the same age can.

There are others who have been faithful to teach their child sign language since infancy, meaning that their toddler today has a more impressive vocabulary than the average Brayden or Avery out there.

I recently realized what my wife and I care most about when it comes to our 22 month-old son. Actually, two things: that he doesn’t have a snotty nose and that he’s not a brat.

The phrase “snot-nosed brat” is a familiar term in our society, with good reason.

Part of it is caused by parents making empty, theatrical threats of discipline, then not following through with them on their child. That’s one of my parenting pet peeves.

Our son Jack knows that if we say we are going to do something, then we are good on our word. We want to set a good example of integrity in our communication with him.

Time out means time out. No story before bedtime tonight means no story before bedtime tonight. “No applesauce until you finish your rice and beans” means… ah, well, you know the rest.

While it’s extremely important to my wife and me that our son has good manners and is well behaved, we also care a great bit about his hygiene, as we ourselves are pretty obsessed with being clean.

I guarantee you that you will never see Jack with a runny nose, as long as he is in our presence. His parental clean-up crew is there to swoop in with a wet Kleenex at any given moment.

At least, that’s what I would like to guarantee you.

As parents, we all inevitably focus on certain strengths in our child that outweigh perceived weaknesses; whether those perceived weaknesses are in our own minds or in American society’s collective expectations.

So while Jack may never be the most athletically, intellectually, or socially advanced, we definitely aim for him to have the driest nose and the most respectful attitude.

At least we can have that much.

We hope.

Leave a comment Posted on parenting

And The Award For “World’s Best Father” Goes To Dave Engledow…

September 27, 2012 at 11:20 pm , by 

22 months.

We modern dads can be a sensitive crowd, as learned from this year’s Huggies fiasco. It comes down to the fact we don’t want to portrayed as the idiots that sitcoms and commercials have made us look like throughout recent decades.

I have pointed out several times by now the cliche about men freaking out when changing their kid’s diaper. It’s so annoying to see another token image of a goofball dad holding his nose or making a theatrical face while taking care of “diaper doody.”

Unless, that image is part of Dave Engledow’s “World’s Best Father” photo series, which is currently buzzing on the Internet. (Let’s be honest- that’s why I’m writing about it now.)

His photos poke fun at negative stereotypes of dads. In other words, he’s unknowingly supporting my “Non-Doofus Dad Awareness” cause by showing the world hilarious, over-the-top examples of how not to do this thing called fatherhood.

Engledow explains it this way on his Kickstarter project page which he set up to fund the World’s Best Father 2013 Calendar:

“The character I portray in this series is intended to be a parody of the father I hope I never become–distracted, self-absorbed, neglectful, clueless, or even occasionally overbearing.

I’ve always used humor as a way to deal with my personal fears and neuroses, and in many ways these images are often an attempt to do just that–to illustrate humorously the fears that I and, as I’ve learned, many other new fathers have about fatherhood”

Without a doubt, this is my kind of guy.

I have a feeling that like me, he would mock, not celebrate, the idea of a “Dadchelor Party.”

One of my favorites of Engledow’s “World’s Best Father” series portrays him as an overzealous dad/coach who is training his toddler daughter to become an Olympic diver: He is coercing her into jumping off the mantle into a small wading pool on the living room floor.

Another shows Engledow struggling to win an arm wrestling contest with his young daughter.

Some parents these days seem to nearly beg for our attention when it comes to pictures and status updates about what’s going on with their kids.

After you check out more of Engledow’s pictures, it becomes clear that he doesn’t have to beg for any of our attention. He already has it.

In case you missed that first hyperlink to transport you to his web page, featuring his pictures, here it is again:

World’s Best Father 2013 Calendar

Image: Engledow Art Photography.

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Daddymoons, Manshowers, and Dadchelor Parties: Clever Or Lame?

September 26, 2012 at 11:40 pm , by 

22 months.

To answer my own question: Lame.

Part of my agenda as the daddy blogger for a major parenting website is to positively re-brand fatherhood; to reinforce the fact that a dad changing his kid’s diaper is not ironic at all and that taking care of his own kid without Mommy around is not babysitting… it’s a man taking care of his own kid.

That’s the world we live in and that’s the generation I’m a part of.

Needless to say, I am not cool with the cartoonish concept of a soon-to-be dad having a drunken party (or the likeness thereof) with his buddies to celebrate his final days of freedom before he inevitably says goodbye to his sex life and his ability to watch football games on his 56 inch TV without being interrupted by his crying infant or nagging wife, which therefore makes his life a 1980′s sitcom hell.

Just to be sure that I’m not exaggerating what Dadchelor Parties are all about, an article on The Huffington Post describes them as an event “where men bring diapers in exchange for beer, while others are more extravagant and involve all day bar-hopping or even a destination weekend. All seem to involve drinking, sporting events, gambling, and more drinking.”

Cute.

Okay, okay, but what about the non-drunken version of a Dadchelor Party?

What’s wrong with a soon-to-be dad hanging out with a couple of friends to share some beers and smoke some cigars in an effort to invite the days of fatherhood in a more sophisticated fashion?

Well, I guess I don’t have too big of a problem with that, except for the simple fact I don’t know anyone in my version of the real world who would think that’s cool; especially when attached with the phrase Dadchelor Party, Daddymoon, or Manshower.

I have a feeling that my own friends would actually think that having a “Manshower” is not only tacky, but also, uh…

Manshower? Come on, need I say more?

So what am I offering as a legitimate and respectable alternative? I say the kind of man who I would consider cool enough to be my friend would leave me out of the equation all together and instead take his wife on a babymoon.

The phrase “babymoon” is uber trendy, and therefore annoying, and is not a word I will ever speak aloud, but the concept of taking your pregnant wife on a getaway trip before the baby comes is righteous.

My wife and I went on [one of those] before our son was born an then we went on another one about 6 monthsafter he was born.

It’s a good thing; especially for husbands and expecting fathers who, you know, are A) actually responsible adults B) who respect their wives and C) can understand that having a good time doesn’t need to require a hangover afterwards.

But for those soon-to-be dads who would rather flirt with 20 year-old waitresses at bars all weekend while getting “plastered,” and then brag about it the next week on Facebook, all in the name of a Dadchelor Party, you’ve lost your man card.

Let me know if you ever want it back.

 

Image: Let’s go party, via Shutterstock.

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Spirituality

The Meaning Of Life Is To Give Life Meaning

September 24, 2012 at 9:54 pm , by 

22 months.

It would be most appropriate to begin by quoting the opening of the movie (500) Days of Summer:

“Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life.”

Knowing this, I always try to end each day by trying to figure out what made that day special compared to every day I’ve ever lived.

But not today, because I already know.

I want to bookmark this moment in my life, as if some major milestone has just been reached, or some great accomplishment has just been achieved.

Simply put, it really does come down to a 72 cent fire truck I bought for my son yesterday. That’s what makes today special.

I feel more alive today, not just because we finally made it to autumn, my favorite time of year. Instead, my state of euphoria exists because I know I made my son very happy by buying him that fire truck.

On this day, I do not feel overwhelmed as a husband and dad trying to provide for his family. I am not desperately in need of sleep or a boost in confidence in my abilities of what society expects of me or even what I expect of myself.

Nor I am worried about the end of the world; no, I’m not concerned that Communist China will take over America, or Communist Russia, or even religious extremist terrorists.

In fact, if the world as we know it came to an end right now, at least I would know I ceased to exist while in a state of accidental bliss.

It all goes back to my wife and I standing in the checkout aisle at the store and me telling my son, “You’ve been a really good boy today and we know you really want a fire truck, so we’re going to buy it for you.”

He didn’t even smile; he just kept a somber look on his face that somehow communicated gratitude even more than smile could.

It’s seeing him celebrate back at the house by making his fire truck the head of a parade with his other toy cars.

It’s knowing all day at work I was thinking about my son and how happy I made him by buying him some cheap toy.

In this moment I feel extremely needed by a little boy who is dependent on me for little surprises in life, like a toy fire truck.

The meaning of life is to give life meaning. I thoroughly believe that.

And right now, I am experiencing it.

In simplicity.