Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

Book Review Of The Circumcision Decision: An Unbiased Guide For Parents

January 5, 2013 at 12:09 am , by 

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions. Instead, I believe if there is any change I feel I need to make in my life, I need to make that change no matter what day it is, as long as that day is still “today.”

However, it just so happens that around January 1st of 2013, I officially decided I want to make a point to stop participating in the polarization of America.

To quote Jimmy in one of my favorite movies,That Thing You Do, “I….. I quit. I quit. I quit…”.

In other words, I am choosing to see both Democrats and Republicans as good people.

I am rejecting the belief that “the other side” is completely irrational and/or evil, no matter how extreme or overzealous I am conditioned to believe they are, thanks in part to pseudo news channels like CNN and Fox News.

That goes for whatever “the other side” happens to be, not just political affiliations: pro-life vs. pro-choice, pro-gay marriage vs. anti-gay marriage, attachment parenting vs. supporters of the “cry it out” method, gun control reform vs. no gun control reform…

Basically, on all of these controversial issues, the side I am now on is technically… neither. Because I now publicly associate with the third party in favor of removing the “vs.” between the two polarizing sides.

Granted, I still have my personal opinions of how I feel about these polarizing topics, but I am much more interested in attempting to help tone down the collective angst regarding all the controversial issues that divide America.

I am tired of adding to the noise of two extremely polarized camps preaching to their own choirs.

With that being said, I was pretty skeptical a couple of months ago when I was approached by Susan Terkel, one of the authors of the then-upcoming book, The Circumcision Decision: An Unbiased Guide for Parents.

Knowing that my collection of blog posts on circumcision had put me in the hot seat with dozens of my readers, on several occasions, I had officially decided to retire from ever writing about circumcision again.

Then I received a preview copy of The Circumcision Decision in the mail. After reading it, I decided I actually wanted to participate in promoting the book, as much as possible.

In fact, I was so passionate about this book that the authors asked me to write a blurb for it, which is printed on the very first page, as well as, the back cover of the book:

“With grace, wisdom, and class, The Circumcision Decision impressively presents both sides of the story in such a balanced narrative, that some of us who have already made up our minds beforehand may now find ourselves challenged by the flip side.”

I proudly associate my name with The Circumcision Decision and am pleased to announce it was nominated as a 2012 finalist for the Books For A Better Life Award: Childcare/Parenting.

This book, which is now officially published and available for sale on its website, is the perfect answer to the circumcision controversy and, more importantly, to any soon-to-be parents of a son who are trying to best educate themselves on deciding whether to circumcise their son, or to leave him intact.

My guess is, no matter which side of the circumcision decision a parent lands, reading this book will simply give them the courage, confidence, and closure on how they honestly personally feel about circumcision to begin with.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

6 Tips For Driving Safely With Kids In Winter 2013

January 4, 2013 at 10:18 pm , by 

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

Winter has arrived. Now each morning I must wake up early enough to warm up Mommy’s car and my car, scraping off any ice or snow from the windows and spraying deicer on them as well.

For the past few weeks, I have also been awkwardly strapping you in your car seat, struggling to get the buckle around your big blue puffy coat.

I never felt confident when I was doing that.

So I am grateful for the fortunate coincidence that this week I got an email on behalf of Julie Kleinert, North American Child Safety Technical Lead for General Motors and Kate Carr, President and CEO of Safe Kids Worldwide, asking me to share their Winter Safety Tips for Driving with Little Ones.

As the first tip explains, there is a better way than how I have been doing things. So, lesson learned. This list also brought to my attention some things I wouldn’t have thought about, like watching for sleds or keeping a blanket in the car.

I’m no safety expert, obviously. So I’ll let the pro’s take it from here:

“1. Avoid Bulky Winter Clothes. We know you want your little ones to be warm this winter season, but please don’t strap your child into a car seat with a bulky coat as it can affect the ability of your car seat to do its job.  A bulky coat can compress in a crash and create a loose car seat harness, putting your child at greater risk of injury in the unlikely event of a crash. To properly secure your child, the harness straps must be snug and close to their body.

Make sure your child’s harness is adjusted correctly year-round by using the “pinch test,” which is the best way to make sure your child is secure. First, remove bulky clothing and blankets.  Make sure the harness straps are adjusted to the correct height – they should be at or just below the child’s shoulders when they ride rear-facing, and at or just above the child’s shoulders when they are forward-facing. Then buckle and tighten the harness straps. Place the chest clip at armpit level. Now pinch the strap at your child’s shoulder. If you are unable to pinch any excess webbing, you’re good to go.

2. Ensure Comfort and Safety at the Same Time. So how do you keep your little one warm and safe? Remove bulky coats and snowsuits before putting your child in their car seat or opt for outerwear that is not as heavy like a lightweight fleece or hoodie. To keep your child warm and toasty after you remove the bulky coat, you can use a blanket (or even the removed coat) placed over the tightened car seat harness. It also helps to warm the car up before leaving – those remote car starters are pretty nice and make a great holiday gift.

3. Check your Tailpipe. Before you get in your car, do a quick walk-around and check to make sure your tailpipe is not blocked with snow. A simple check can ensure you won’t have any problems with carbon monoxide, which is dangerous.

4. Prepare for Mother Nature. You never know when you might get stuck in the cold and snow, so always have an emergency bag stocked in your car. Be sure to include necessities like baby food or formula, water, diapers, extra blankets and a spare set of warm clothing. You’ll probably never need it but it’s nice to have just in case.

5. Watch Out for Sleds. One of the great things about snow is the chance to go sledding. And kids will do it anywhere, anytime, often cruising right into the street. That creates one more thing to look for when you’re driving. A few ways to be prepared are to slow down and be especially alert in residential neighborhoods and school zones, turn on your headlights earlier in the day if your car is not equipped with daytime running lamps, and, as always, reduce any distractions inside your car so you can concentrate on the road and your surroundings.

6. Buckle Up. This is an “all-weather” tip. We know that when adults wear seat belts, kids wear seat belts. So be a good example and buckle up for every trip.  Your kids are safer in a crash when everyone in the vehicle is buckled up.”

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Spirituality

The Amazing Photo of Alicia Atkins’ Baby Reaching From the Womb

January 3, 2013 at 10:03 pm , by 

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

In the age of the Internet, there have been some awesome, yet possibly fake, pictures of yet unborn babies reaching from the womb, holding onto the doctor’s hands.

Well, here’s one that is definitely real:

Nevaeh Atkins

This black and white picture features the tiny hand of Nevaeh Atkins, in the midst of being born into this world, via C-section.

As the picture is currently going viral, it makes me wonder what people are thinking as they see it for the first time.

It makes me think of what was going through my head when Mommy was only 21 weeks pregnant with you. Here’s what I wrote about you during that time:

“And as real as this is, that our son is actually inside there, so lively, it’s still ingrained in my brain somehow Baby Jack is light years away, floating around in a heavenly baby universe until November. Despite feeling him with my own hand, with just centimeters separating the skin of my hand and the skin of his body, despite him literally being a matter of a few feet away (or less, depending on how near I am to my wife), I’m having trouble grasping that in reality, he’s right there.”

This picture is obviously worth a thousand words; so simple and universal, yet still nearly too difficult to capture in words.

Just off the cuff, though, my initial thought is about how helpless a newborn is; grasping desperately for comfort, strength, and guidance. Likewise, when you were born, I also was grasping desperately for those same things.

It’s as if when you were born, I felt like I was automatically supposed to know what to do with you. I see now how impractical it was to think that at the time.

No matter how many books, blogs, and relevant conversations I exposed myself to in an attempt to prepare myself to be your dad, none of it really came close.

Probably the most realistic image to symbolize the moment you were born is if your hand would have popped out of the womb and we nervously shook hands, in agreement that we’re both really new at this. We would then half-jokingly wish each other good luck.

Here we are, over 2 years into this and I’m still trying my best to give you comfort, strength, and guidance in this world. That will never change.

Love,
Daddy

Photo credit: Randy Atkins / A Classic Pin-Up Photography

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Business In The Front Seat, Party In The Back Seat

January 2, 2013 at 11:45 pm , by 

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

When our family is travelling anywhere, whether it’s a 20 minute drive into the next neighborhood of Nashville or a 2 hour drive across the Tennessee state line, I know my role: I am the civilized chauffeur.

You and Mommy, on the other hand, well, that’s a whole different story.

While I’m in my own peaceful world in the driver’s seat, semi-sedated in a serene trance thanks to the likes of Fountain of Wayne’s Hackensack, there’s a party going on in the back.

There you are, with your black sunglasses with skulls, in the midst of doing a photo shoot for the linear notes of your next rock album.

As for Mommy, she’s only encouraging the total Gangnam style, complete with good times and tomfoolery.

I learn so much of what really goes on in our family by looking through the pictures on the camera, days after the pictures are taken.

It’s rare that Mommy drives while I’m in the backseat with you; the main reason being I want to give Mommy a chance to have fun with you and not worry about having to concentrate on something serious.

Obviously, it works- as you can see in this picture which she is not aware I am making public.

I’ve never thought about it until now, but it’s usually the other way around.

Usually it’s me chasing you around the house like I’m a rabies-infected jaguar while Mommy is busy doing the important stuff, like cooking dinner.

But when it comes to the family drive, I’m the serious one and Mommy is the one who gets to tickle and tease you.

I suppose, by default, Mommy and I have learned to take turns when it comes to who is playing the business role and who is hosting the party with you.

Seldom are the times where we all three get to all be loud goofballs together, or just as important, when we all three get to chill out on the couch watchingMater’s Tall Tales; which is your new favorite obsession on Netflix.

Just like the importance of budgeting our money, it’s very important that we budget quality time together as a family.

Mommy and I value our time with you: We are aware of all the cliches that “they grow up too fast.”

With that in my mind, we as your 31 year-old parents regularly remind ourselves the importance of not acting like grown-ups with you, all the time.

We like pretending to be a kid, like you. It’s a good perspective.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

 

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Those “Hey, You Just Grew Up!” Moments

January 1, 2013 at 11:14 pm , by 

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

Watching you grow up is like watching the minute hand move on a clock.

It’s not until I look away for a little while, then look back again, that I can see a change.

There were a few pictures that Mommy must have recently taken while getting you ready for school that I found on our camera.

When I saw them, I thought, “Hey, that’s Jack… I don’t remember him looking… like that… so grown up!”

I mean, it wasn’t that long ago were my “baked potato,” and before you were even a year-old yet, you were my cool necktie-wearing gummy bear.

Weeks of everyday life go by with all their routine and their seeming lack of uniqueness, but it’s in those doldrums that you’re growing up; even if I can’t see it as it’s happening.

A couple months ago one of the ongoing themes I focused on was how you didn’t really look that much like me or Mommy.

Well, now, I can clearly see you’ve graduated from  that phase where babies all sort of like the same to where now you are truly starting to look like a mix of your parents.

If this were a 1990 laugh track-infused sitcom, I would find it much more believable that you could be the son of Mommy and me.

But, I admit, it would sort of be like the 2nd season after the baby is born, where they suddenly replace the baby with a talking-toddler.

Like Nicky and Alex on Full House. Or Andy Keaton on Family Ties. Or Chrissy Seaver on Growing Pains. Or Lilly Lambert on Step By Step.

You and I have both become less generic and more mature people, since April 13, 2010, when I first started this blog.

Back then, you were a 3 month-old fetus who I best understood through a black-and-white sonogram. You’ve come a long way, kid.

But so have I. I learned how to become a dad.

Like Elvis Costello in 1983, everyday I write the book. We figure this out together, in real time.

Along the way, there have been things I’ve said on The Dadabase, that looking back now, I wouldn’t say; nor are they still accurate depictions of how I see things.

There were times I was so zealous about representing myself as a confident dad with a consistent parenting plan, that it probably came across as bravado, not confidence.

And I do regret my former tone in regards to controversial topics like abortion, circumcision, the cry-it-out method, and even politics in general. I see now how I was only adding to the noise of two extremely polarized camps preaching to their own choirs.

That’s not me anymore. Everyday, I’m becoming more like Jack Johnson. And everyday, you’re becoming more like Jack the boy… not the baby.

 

Love,

Daddy