Dads Matter To Kids: Socially, Mentally, Physically, and Academically

What This Daddy Blogger Would Love To Make Taboo

February 26, 2013 at 11:10 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

I missed the Dad 2.0 Summit this year; which is basically the official annual conference for daddy bloggers.

Conveniently, The New York Times published an article on their website a few days ago, which does a great job of filling me in on the conversations that took place there without me.

While I wish I would have known about Dad 2.0 Summit beforehand, because I totally would have flown out to Houston to been a part of it as I am now marking my calendar for next year, at the same time it sort of sounds like the main takeaway from Dad 2.0 is the same point I have been writing about for years now on The Dadabase:

Dads don’t want to be seen as idiots who make messes and who are sub-par parents.

It’s subtle, yet very present in media. I feel that there are still too many companies getting it wrong. Allow me to critique the Robitussin commercial featured at the top of this post, for example.

Of this 17 second commercial, the first 2 seconds are done right.

We are introduced to a mom and dad who are together putting their baby to sleep. They lovingly look at each other as if to mutually say, “I love you and our new addition to our family.”

But then, from 0:03 to 0:06, the dad coughs, waking the baby and earning a frustrated and disapproving look from his wife. By 0:07, we see the dad give his wife a pat on the back right before he walks away to go grab some Robitussin for his cough, seen from 0:10 to 0:12.

There is some resolve by 0:13, when the dad returns, this time not coughing, as the mom is able to lay down the now sleeping baby in the crib.

Okay, so that commercial wasn’t horrible, but it needs some revisions to earn the respect of dads like me.

If they had to make it to where the dad coughs and wakes up the baby, he could have appeared to be less of a [jerk] if, when he came back from taking the Robitussin, he took the baby from his wife, allowing her to go back to bed, then putting the baby to sleep himself.

When you really consider the role of the dad in this commercial, all he really did besides just stand there, was that he made life  harder for his wife.

And seriously, pause this commercial on 0:05. Check out the look on the wife’s face…

No husband ever wants to receive that look from his wife.

Like I said a month ago in “All I Ever Wanted Was To Be A Dad,” Said Few Men Ever, as your dad, I gain a lot of confidence and self-worth by knowing that I am doing a good job of supporting you and Mommy.

But when I see a commercial like this, I am not offended, but I do think, “There’s just another dad-bashing commercial feeding into concept that the housewife desperately needs another product because of the mess her husband made.”

Part of my passion as a daddy blogger is attempting to make it taboo for dads to be portrayed as the classic idiot in ads. I’m not even asking to be seen as the hero. I’ll take neutral at this point.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

I Want To Do It… I Need Help…

February 25, 2013 at 10:34 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

Today I took a really late lunch from work so I could drive you to the nearby park, just down the street from your daycare and from where my office is.

It was 2:40 and you had just woken up from your nap, so I’m pretty sure you thought you might still be dreaming since I don’t regularly get the opportunity to see you during the workday.

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, you set your sights on your goal… the big boy slide.

The only way to get to that 7 foot tall slide was to go up the climbing wall.

I placed my hands around your waist, allowing you to reach for the grips and pull yourself up.

You instantly turned around to me and resisted: “I want to do it.”

I pulled my hands away where you could no longer feel them but where they were close enough in case you fell.

About three seconds passed… “I need help.”

That situation happens several times a day now. Whether it’s opening a fruit snack or putting on your shoes, you have to attempt to do it yourself first, then you’ll ask me to do it.

These days I just need to remember to assume you want to do everything yourself. I suppose it’s pretty much a waste of time for me to even try to help you, because I know what will happen:

“I want to do it… I need help.”

This is the stage where you are realizing you can actually do some stuff yourself. You don’t actually need me for everything anymore.

It’s like each situation is a new pickle jar to be opened.

I am your OnStar, your tech support, and your extra muscles.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Facebook Status Updates About Men Who Cheat

February 24, 2013 at 11:26 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

I assume that most people at some point have seriously considered deleting their Facebook account.

However, most people don’t actually do it.

At worst, they purge their friend list once it reaches the point they no longer know who all is on their list; typically that magic number is around 500 people.

As for me, I often find Facebook depressing. That would be my reason for wanting to quit Facebook, about once a month.

Certain random things just drain me; like the overwhelming fluorescent lights at Walmart, trying to find a free place to park in downtown Nashville, and being exposed to reality TV shows where people argue and yell at each other.

However, one of the biggest triggers for bumming me out is when I read on Facebook about yet another man who has cheated on his wife or girlfriend.

It’s tough for me to process.

I hate it that there are enough men who cheat on the women they love, that it shows up daily on my Facebook feed.

I hate it for the women who are cheated on and hurt.

I hate it for the families who become broken when this happens.

However, I find hope and encouragement every time I see a father and husband being bragged on by his wife on Facebook. I love seeing men who are doing what they are already supposed to be doing; which is being caring and active in their families’ lives, then who are accordingly reported to the most important new source for most people: Facebook.

Honestly, I just never get tired of seeing reports of men who are still in love with and who still date their wives. It’s enough to deter me from quitting Facebook on a monthly basis.

Son, I should never have to tell you, like the Jason Mraz song says, that I won’t give up on us; on Mommy or on our family. Your reality is that I’m not going anywhere. To quote Jason Mraz again…

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love

 

 

Love,

Daddy

 

My 2 Year-Old Just Wants Chocolate Instead

February 22, 2013 at 9:43 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

I recently pointed out that you only want to eat the same few meals for dinnerthroughout the week.

Similarly, you’re that way with treats too.

Your favorite treat is “fluffy,” which is simply a small cup of whipped creamyou eat with a straw, while Mommy and Daddy drink coffee at any given coffee shop.

However, we thought you would be excited last Saturday when we told you we were going for a special treat at Sweet Cece’s, which is a pay-by-the-ounce frozen yogurt joint.

Your response:

“No, I want chocolate instead.”

I tried to explain to you that Sweet Cece’s has chocolate flavored yogurt, but you stuck to your guns on the issue.

When we arrived at Sweet Cece’s, I pulled the lever on the machine, letting you watch the chocolate frozen yogurt fall into my cup.

It freaked you out. You were afraid of it. Maybe you thought it was a snake?

So while Mommy and I enjoyed a nice frozen treat, you chose a small bag of random chocolate toppings, like brownie bites and M&M’s.

Honestly, you were just as happy with your chocolate toppings as we were with our frozen yogurt with those toppings.

Jack, we tried. We tried to get you to give delicious yogurt a chance. But now we know, you prefer the toppings.

So you got your wish: You got “chocolate instead.”

I don’t know, maybe we’ve ruined you on free sample-sized cups of whipped cream at coffee shops.

Maybe the consistency of frozen yogurt or ice cream throws you off because it’s colder and thicker than whipped cream?

Eventually I think you will change your mind. As for now, you get your brownie and you get to eat it too.

 

Love,

Daddy