Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

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My 2 Year-Old Drives Like A Mean Old Man

March 4, 2013 at 11:52 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

We have been pumping you up for weeks now about Shipwrecked, an indoor playhouse in the Nashville area.

You indeed had plenty of fun- you are already asking when you can go back:

“I go Shipwrecked again? I drive the car? It’s mine?”

However, judging by the look on your face in this picture, the word “fun” wouldn’t necessarily be the first adjective to come to mind.

How about crotchety? Irritable? Cranky?

Despite a big pirate ship playground, train tables, dress up rooms, and toys all over the place, you spent about 97% of your time on the Fred Flintstone-style Lightning McQueen car, which you were nearly too big for.

If this picture of you depicts a 2 year-old boy who claimed ownership over one of the playground’s community cars, then used it to plow through the toys and other kids, causing Daddy to serve as some sort of safety watchman as I followed you back and forth across the place, then I would say the picture above serves the event justice.

If by chance the picture depicts a 2 year-old boy who drove like a mean old-man on his way to beat the lunch crowd at Shoney’s, then this picture captured the moment accurately.

So why were you only in the car for 97% percent of the time? That’s because you spent the other 3% of the time in the playhouse’s two ball pits.

But each time you slipped out of the car, it was a paranoia-laced situation.

You had to carefully shut the car door, discouraging any other kid from stealing your ride.

You always parked two steps away from the ball pit, then leaped overboard, like in every movie I’ve never seen about international spies.

Fortunately, for my sake, I didn’t have to break up any toddler fist fights. That’s because no other kid dared get near “your” car.

 

Love,

Daddy

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A Perfect Example Of Fakebooking

March 3, 2013 at 11:17 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

There’s nothing quite like sleeping in until 8:30 on a Saturday morning, then sliding out of bed and making our way to get our soy lattes as a family.

You always let Mommy and I get you dressed without putting up a fight and it’s just a stress-free, relaxing drive anytime we drive anywhere.

In fact, this time we happen to see a family of deer crossing the road on our way there. And then as if that wasn’t enough, a bald eagle flew over our car and led us all the way to Starbucks… like we didn’t already know the way. LOL!

After Mommy and I ordered our coffees, you ordered your favorite drink yourself:

“Yes sir, I would like a short cup of whipped cream, please. That’s 8 ounces, which is the square root of 64.”

The barista was so impressed by your vocabulary and knowledge of math skills.

Ugh! I’m such a bad dad for not thinking much about it anymore…

It’s just that since your daycare had you skip two grades, from the 2 year-olds to the 4 year-olds class, and on top of that, placed you in the gifted program, well… let’s just say I’m used to it by now.

There aren’t a whole lot of 2 year-olds who know how to solve a Rubik’s Cube as quickly as you can… just sayin’!

Anyway, the three of us just chillaxed there on the patio while lightly jamming to the likes of Mumford & Sons. I really need to upload their newest album, Babel, onto your iPod touch.

Wait, what am I saying? That’s ridiculous…

You don’t need me to do that! I forget you like to upload your own music without any of my help.

I guess what I’m saying is that it was a great weekend, like every weekend for us.

You make being a parent easy, kid. I remember our recent man-to-man talk when I asked you, “Son, when are these so-called Terrible Two’s going to happen?”

I’ll never forget it. You placed your hand on my shoulder, looked me straight in the eyes and replied:

“Pops, you and Mommy have enough to worry about. I’ll let you guys off the hook. I can be mature about the whole thing. Whenever I want something, I’ll just ask politely. If you say no, then I’ll be calm and respect your decision, directing my thoughts to a more positive place.”

I tell you, kid. Sometimes I wonder if I’m not just living the dream.

Pinch me, because this all seems too good to be true.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Author’s note: In case the title of this post didn’t make it clear, this was simply an exaggerated example of what Fakebooking is. I am not actually this pretentious; at least I am hope not!

For a more official introduction of Fakebooking, click here to read “I Fakebook Daily And I’m Not Ashamed To Admit It.”

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What Kids’ TV Shows Do Your Kid Love That Really Annoy You?

March 2, 2013 at 11:24 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

Since Mommy and I officially began allowing you to watch TV when you turned 2 a few months ago, you have had several temporary favorite TV shows.

It began with Sesame Street, then Thomas & Friends, and right now you’re pretty much stuck on repeat with the All About… series, featuring Hard Hard Harry, as he teaches you all about monster trucks, fire trucks, and bulldozers.

I’m cool with all that.

But as we scroll through the “Just For Kids” section on Netflix live streaming, you’re starting to request…Barney & Friends.

You have been occasionally watching Dinosaur Train, which is a non-annoying show. It has opened your mind to dinosaurs, but unfortunately, you happened to get curious about that big purple dinosaur too.

So I just need to come out and say it. I have a low tolerance level for Barney the purple dinosaur.

He sounds like a slightly more sober Krusty the Clown impersonating Pee Wee Herman.

I apologize in advance for any possible bravado which might reveal itself here, but to be completely honest from my fatherly perspective, Barney just isn’t the normal masculine type of character you typically choose to entertain yourself with.

Sesame Street has ugly monsters, some of which have slightly intimidating Eastern European accents.Thomas & Friends make expensive messes and crash all the time. Hard Hard Harry introduces you to big noisy machines…

Barney, on the other hand, well… I just can’t get past all the giddy jumping in place along with that voice, which I constantly find myself mocking.

On top of that, I just don’t find it to be realistic or educational enough for a kids’ show, compared to the stuff you usually want to watch. With that being said, I definitely won’t tell you no when you want to watch Barney.

I will say this, though. This afternoon you crawled up in my lap and wanted to watch three 30 minute episodes of Hard Hard Harry. That’s the longest you’ve ever wanted to watch TV in one setting; plus, it’s the longest amount of time I’ve ever let you watch TV.

(My butt fell asleep half-way through, and when I said that out loud, it really confused you.)

The way I see it, it takes a good 90 minutes of learning about boats, helicopters, fire trucks, and monster trucks from Hard Hat Harry to make up for the 8 annoying minutes of Barney you watched this morning.

Assuming that other parents are also annoyed by some their children’s favorite TV shows, I presented this question on The Dadabase’s Facebook wall today:

“What kids’ TV shows and movies do your kids just love that really annoy you? My answer: Barney.”
1Like ·  · Share
  • 3 people like this.
  • Waleska Torres Same here lol
  • Samantha Smith Kitchenman Caillou…there aren’t enough bad words to describe it! Abbey Grace has still never seen Barney because I will literally jump over the couch to turn the channel before it comes on!
    8 hours ago · Like · 3
  • Amber Archbold Timmons Caillou drives me nuts too. His laugh is like nails on a chalk board.
    8 hours ago · Like · 2
  • Alexa Wiviott Caillou. Ugh.
    7 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1
  • Sarah Nee Dora the Explorer. Hate that show! My daughter would love it if she knew it existed.
    7 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1
  • Jessi Jones I agree with Caillou, also Toopie and Binou
  • The Dadabase Now I’m curious what Caillou is…
  • Samantha Smith Kitchenman Caillou is an innocent looking 3-4 year old (depends which season you are watching) who has no hair. At first you watch the show and think, this is sweet and cute. It has cute songs and a good family dynamic: married parents, he has a younger sister, a cat, good neighbors, and grandparents live nearby. You can watch it a few dozen times off and on and still think it’s sweet and cute but then you learn the evils of it. Caillou is a constant whiner. And I do mean constant. This is one area that I didn’t think about when my 1 year old was just starting to like it. As she grew to a 18 month old-20 month old, she thought, “Hmmm…maybe I should cry like Caillou and I’ll get my way!” There are certain episodes that we can’t watch because she mimics his whining as if she is up for an Oscar! We still watch it from time to time and sadly, I know all the episodes so I can screen them for the least whiney ones. And for some reason the cartoon doesn’t feel the whole screen and personally, that annoys me! She has the doll and the books and they are much better than the silly cartoon. The doll doesn’t talk and we give Caillou his voice so he is much less whiney when we read
    6 hours ago · Unlike · 4
  • Becky Uthe Max and Ruby and WordWorld
    5 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1
  • Amber Archbold Timmons I agree with Max and Ruby also. Ruby is so bossy it drives me nuts. And where are their parents?! The only adult figure I’ve seen in their lives is their grandma that stops by on occasion!
    5 hours ago · Like · 1
  • Amber Archbold Timmons My daughter is now 4 years old. I really like Ruby Gloom right now. It doesn’t get on my nerves and I actually like the cartoon. I think it is for slightly older kids than my DD but she is into that kind of stuff and Scooby Doo as well.
  • Christina Gorski Sid the Science Kid.
  • Julia Harvey I hate Wubbzy, yo gabba gabba, and Dora. I used to hate Diego too, but my son loves it so he’s broken me down. Max and Ruby is annoying and I’ve often wondered about their parents also. I like the Bubble Guppies which is my sons favorite. Catchy songs and fun stories. We also watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, of course, which isn’t that bad.
  • Evelyn Garza My son loves chuck and gabba. I really like yo gabba Yo Gabba Gabba. As far as disliking, probably max and ruby because max literally says one word the whole episode.
    about an hour ago via mobile · Like · 1
  • Amy H Gerwig Yo gabba gabba!
  • Jericho Williams Dora the Explorer

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

I Fakebook Daily And I’m Not Ashamed To Admit It

March 1, 2013 at 10:50 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

A blog post on a Jewish parenting website went viral this week: “We Need To Quit Telling Lies On Facebook.”

It’s no surprise that since being published on February 25th, the post has already received 86,137 likes on Facebook and 611 comments.

This is because the author, , crafted an extremely clever, well-written, relevant article pointing out the potentially pretentious, yet edited-to-appear-familiar lives that we modern parents display on Facebook and social media:

“My life on Facebook is an airbrushed and Instagrammed image of my real life… I give everything a hipstacular filter to make the drudgery look interesting.”

She’s right the way she describes what she calls “Fakebooking,” even down to the part about making it look all we do in our free time is hang out in coffee shops.

I laughed when I read that because it seems like 25% of the stock photos I use of you are taken at a downtown coffee shop on a Saturday morning.

My preference is to present vague photographs of you, causing the viewer to try to subconsciously imagine the story behind the picture. Granted, I always correct the lighting and round off the corners, to help with the pre-fab nostalgic feel.

In other words, I am a living stereotype of what she describes. I am very self-aware of my condition. I Fakebook every day. Actually, I am the worst offender of Fakebooking I know!

However, I have no plans to ever stop.

Technically, as  as puts it, I’m guilty of telling lies by omission.

It’s just that I choose to remember mainly the best parts of life and scrap the rest in my mental junk folder.

I don’t need a reminder of all the frustrating parts about my life. However, I think I do need a reminder of the good stuff.

So what I present in social media, as a parent, is typically edited to serve as a public scrapbook of the way I choose to remember my life personally and privately.

I emphasize the warm and fuzzy… the encouraging and redemptive… the random and quirky.

Meanwhile, I downplay the dark and depressing… the discouraging and doubtful… the boring and predictable.

Still, I feel there is nothing actually fake or deceptive in my presentation; just carefully polished and illustrated.

It’s like comparing the book version of The Lorax to the movie version.

As I mentioned earlier this week in “Facebook Status Updates About Men Who Cheat,” it’s very easy to find negative drama in the comments of my Facebook news feed. But for every comment that tells of a cheating boyfriend or husband, there’s a super positive comment by someone else is who is humbly bragging (oxymoron?) about how they have the best boyfriend or husband in the world.

Fakebooking helps balance out all the chaos in social media; for me at least.

I believe that the version of life we see is the one we choose to see. Like John Milton, the author of Paradise Lost coined it, “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

Sure, I Fakebook daily. Or maybe I’m just choosing heaven over hell, everyday.

 

Love,

Daddy

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Generation Y Parents Vs. Marissa Mayer Of Yahoo

March 1, 2013 at 11:30 am , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

A really weird news story that has been trending for two weeks now is that Yahoo CEO, Marissa Mayer, announced to her employees that she will be banning them from working remotely, starting in June. This didn’t go over well, especially with moms who have been working from home.

Things got even more interesting when it was revealed that Marissa Mayer paid to have a nursery built in her office, so she could bring her toddler to work with her.

There’s no need to point out the obvious double standard here.

As a Generation Y parent, I am especially intrigued and provoked by this story. It’s because Generation Y parents live by a unique work ethic.

Dr. Randall S. Hansen, founder of Quintessential Careers, published an article called “Perception Vs. Reality: 10 Truths About The Generation Y Workforce.” He helps shed some light on why Marissa Mayer’s decision especially rubs a raw nerve with parents of my generation, born in 1981 and beyond:

“Generation Y is the first generation to expect — from day one — employers to realize there is more to life than work. Just as many Baby Boomers are now discovering later in their careers, Generation Y sees work as a means to enjoy life — and life comes first. They have a strong work ethic — just not in a 9-5 sort of way. Generation Y wants work to be fun and flexible because the line between work and life is seamless. (In other words, there is no such thing as work-life balance because it’s all just one thing.) Generation Y also follows a mantra of working smarter, not harder.

The key for employers is offering flexible work schedules, adjusting the belief that workers need to ‘put in the hours at the desk’ to be effective, and developing a work culture that is pleasant and positive.”

So for any Yahoo employees, this news about no longer being able to work from home is not cool. But it’s especially an insult to those who happen to be parents aged 32 and younger.

Something I have personally observed about Generation Y in the work force, is that we’re not good about keeping our mouths shut when we spot an obvious double standard. We have an (unrealistic?) expectation that our superiors should go by the same restrictions they place on us.

No eating lunch at our desk? No texting during work hours? Fine. Just don’t let us catch our supervisors doing those same things.

Because as Dr. Randall S. Hansen goes on to explain in ”Perception Vs. Reality: 10 Truths About The Generation Y Workforce,” Generation Y has been raised to question authority:

“While some people refer to this cohort of people as Generation Why for a reason, it is not so much an issue of a lack of respect for authority as much as it is that this group has been raised by their parents to question everything and raise questions when they don’t understand something.

This generation is very independent and not afraid to challenge the status-quo. Many in Generation Y want a relationship with their boss like the ones they have with their parents. It’s not that these folks have little respect for authority; on the contrary, they feel employers do not respect them.

The key for employers is realizing that asking questions can often lead to answers and solutions that are actually more efficient and effective. Unlike with any other set of workers in the past, employers must also provide more autonomy — and trust Gen Y workers to complete the work.”

I’m curious to see how my Generation Y mindset will affect you as my son. I am proud to be a Generation Y parent. I think you and I are going to have good, open and honest communication.

As for ever hearing me say, “Do as I say, not as I do,” well forget about it.

Question me as your dad and I will be glad to you give you an answer that is not “just because.” Learn by my lived-out examples, not just my words.

It’s very important to me that I’m a good dad… I associate that with my Generation Y work ethic.

 

Love,

Daddy