The 3 Year-Old Version Of Cursing: “Poo You! I Poke You In The Eye!”

December 15, 2013 at 9:04 pm , by 

3 years.

Dear Jack,

Half your life ago,which was a year and half ago, I wrote “My Toddler’s [Bleep] Potty Mouth.”

Back in those days, when you tried to say the word “cookie,” it came out as… a word I’m not going to say on record.

You didn’t have the ability to announce certain sounds, so a completely innocent word could end up being something that would be censored on cable TV.

These days, however, you can pronounce most sounds you need to and therefore, “accidental curse words” are less of an occurrence.

However, I’m picking up on what I call “the 3 year-old version of cursing.”

Today Mommy was out with a friend for a little while, as part of her monthly designated girlfriend time (my designated guy friend time was a few weeks ago when I went with some friends to see Thor: The Dark World… then Hunger Games: Catching Fire), so this afternoon I stayed home with you cleaning our “2 and a half” bathrooms.

It was time for your noontime nap, but I really wanted to get the cleaning out of the way before you went to sleep.

So I made you a deal…

You followed me to each of the bathrooms as I cleaned them. While I scrubbed the sinks, toilets, and tubs with Dr. Bronner’s Pure Castille Peppermint Soap, you read me stories from a book your aunt Jeneane recently mailed you for Christmas: Best-Loved Children’s Stories.

As I was kneeling down to clean the shower drain, I heard you say, “Poo you! I poke you in the eye!”

I paused for a moment, as I did my best to keep you from hearing me laugh.

Then I walked out of the bathroom doorway to come see which storyline could have motivated that kind of dialogue.

“The purple page, Daddy,” you explained as you flipped back a few pages, to show me the part in “Ali Baba” where a thief annoyingly questions a lady store worker.

I’m guesing it was she that told the thief, “Poo you! I poke you in the eye!”

What a clever curse from the mind of a 3 year-old. I mean, I don’t want you repeating that at school, where you probably heard it to begin with.

But seriously, that’s pretty funny!




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