Month: June 2014

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Cabbage Patch Kids Babyland Hospital in Cleveland, Georgia

June 14, 2011 at 9:29 pm , by 

Six months.

Cabbage Patch Babyland

A few days before leaving for my 30th birthday weekend getaway in Dahlonega, Georgia, my sister asked if we were going to be anywhere close to the Cabbage Patch nursery called “Babyland.”  It turns out, the bed and breakfast we would be staying at was conveniently just about 20 minutes away.  Accidently awesome! (That’s one of my new catch phrases that will soon sweep the nation like “just saying” as well as one. word. sentences.).

By the way, my parents kept Jack for us that weekend.  That’s why you won’t see him in these pictures.

Babyland is one of those legendary places where if you grew up in the South and in the Eighties like I did, you’ve heard about it- almost wondering if it’s just a fabricated urban legend.  Mainly all I knew about it was that you could go visit a nursery of Cabbage Patch dolls- like a real nursery. Well, if it involves a random adventure, my wife and I will be the first in line.

Cabbage Patch Babyland

I will just say this right off the from the start: I highly recommend going to Cabbage Patch Kids Babyland.  First of all, it’s free admission.  Granted, it’s sort of out in the middle of nowhere, but for us, that was part of the allure.  The building itself is a new, beautiful mansion.  When we walked in, we asked a stranger to take our picture as we sat in a giant head of cabbage.

cabbage patch doll

Cabbage Patch

Then we walked through the nursery with the “crying” (recorded baby noises running through the speakers in the ceiling) Cabbage Patch babies. Next we entered the grand room where the main attraction is the actual cabbage patch itself- where the Cabbage Patch babies heads are “sprouting up.”  It made me think of that game at Chuck E. Cheese’s where you try to hit the gopher when it pops out of the hole, but you never know which one it will come out.  There where all these baby heads and they would randomly start moving- but you never knew which one would be next.  It entertained me, perhaps more than it should have.

cabbage patch

babyland cabbage patch

The whole place is like a huge nostalgic museum featuring the history of all versions of the Cabbage Patch Dolls, mixed with the ultimate Cabbage Patch Doll store.  When Jack gets older, my wife and will look forward to taking him there. The Cabbage Patch Kids Babyland is not just for girls.  I would be completely confident in taking my son just because I know how mesmerized he would be by all the magical moving baby heads.

babyland cabbage patch

So if you’re planning to be driving through northern Georgia in the near future, consider going a bit out of route and taking your kids to this one-of-a-kind palace. I can assure you that you will be just as entertained as your kids, because with all the retro memorabilia there, it’s a ticket straight back to 1983.  And who wouldn’t want to go back to 1983? Seriously.

cabbage patch

Cabbage Patch

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Jack the Ripper: A Real Gas Act

June 13, 2011 at 10:01 pm , by 

Six months.

The DadabaseHere at The Dadabase, I try to keep things classy, but it doesn’t help when Jack would rather keep them gassy.

I only know what it’s like to have a little boy.  If my wife and I ever have a daughter, I’m sure things will be dramatically different.  One of the main differences I wonder about is if baby girls are as gassy as my son.

Males are expected to be funny.  And Jack definitely is.  Even as a newborn with closed eyes who slept most of the time, Jack made a habit of breaking the ice (by breaking the wind) with every new person who would hold him.  It was his way of saying, “Hi, nice to meet you.”  A bit of an initiation for each new person, as well.

Nearly seven months later, Jack’s still practicing his potty humor.  Last Sunday as I was driving home after church, my wife reminded me that we needed to stop the car for gas.  Right on cue, Jack did his part to help: “Ppppffffffthhh…”.

The Dadabase

Later that day, I was holding Jack out on the front porch, letting him gaze at the sheep farm across the street.  One of the farm workers pulled up in a red pick-up truck.  He had the windows open and the radio on.  A Pat Benetar song was playing: “Hit me with your best shot… Fire away!”

So Jack did.  Like he actually knew what he was doing.

I can’t keep from laughing out loud at his gas antics, especially when we make conversation with Jack and his response is simply “ppppffffffthhh…”.  It’s as if to say to us, “You know what I think about that…?”

The Dadabase

In his head, he has already associated his “gas leaks” with humor.  Even when he’s not feeling himself, I can make the (in)appropriate sound with my mouth, and without fail, Jack immediately starts laughing out loud.  Sure, I’ll eventually have to teach him to behave properly in public as he gets old enough to understand manners and self-control.  But until then, Jack gets a free pass on passing gas.

And I guess that’s one of the many reasons that children take us back to a more carefree place.  Without worrying  about social expectations, without having to appear to always keep it all together, without a necessary world of concerns, children ultimately remind us of a time when the biggest problem in life was that Teddy Ruxpin’s size D batteries needed to be replaced.

For what it’s worth, it took four of those stupid batteries.

The Dadabase

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Boys Should Be Boys: Raising a Bambino

June 12, 2011 at 8:17 pm , by 

Six months.

Do you raise a boy baby differently because he is a boy instead of a girl?  Should you treat him any differently because of his gender?  The obvious, implied, correct answer is “yes.”

As if this wasn’t already established, I’ll just go ahead and put this out there: I can be a bit funny about stuff sometimes. And I don’t mean “ha ha” funny.  I mean “peculiar.”  I’m just set in my quirky ways, leaving others to deal with the flashes of absurdity.

bambino

That being said, I’m realizing already how particular I am with how I raise Jack.  I know he’s only 6 months old and it’s basically irrelevant now to even think about these things, but it’s important to me that he is seen as a boy, not simply a baby. For example, Jack doesn’t use a “passy”; he uses a pacifier. “Passy” sounds way to much like “prissy.”

And when he gets a little older, he won’t be drinking from a “sippy cup,” which to me sounds like “sissy cup.”  Instead, he will be drinking from what I cleverly named his “bambino cup.”  (“Bambino” is Italian for “little boy.”)

I don’t like words that sound like they should be referring to what a cute little girl would say.   Yes, Jack is a baby, and he’s not yet a little boy- but he is a boy baby. It matters to me that he is treated appropriately masculine even in his first several months of life.

That being said, I should go ahead and point out some irony.  With a new cousin on the way (my sister is pregnant with a little girl, due July 2nd), when we take Jack to my sister and her husband’s house, he gets to try out some of his cousin’s toys before she gets here.  I have no problem whatsoever with Jack playing on an all pink play pad with a pink bird that plays a sort of girly song when he pulls it. Why not? Because it’s so obvious that he’s “messing around” with a girl’s toy.  It’s funny and ironic and something to joke about.

I carry Jack around with necessary caution, but I’m not too delicate with him.  He is an adventurous boy.  Sometimes as he’s rolling around on the floor he slightly bumps the back of his head down on the carpet rug, loud enough to make a [thud!] sound.  When he even notices that he’s “supposed” to be hurt, he gets over it in about two seconds.  Especially when he checks our facial expressions to get confirmation that he really he is okay.  Then it’s back to rolling around.

Jack will have manners when he gets older; he will say “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am.”  He will be respectful and well-behaved to both adults and his peers.  I will make sure of it. He will be a Southern gentleman.  And even so, he will get into some (innocent) trouble.

He will break a window with a baseball.  He will stay out too long playing out in the woods and worry me that he’s not home yet.  He will step out to the line of danger but will be smart enough not to cross it.

There’s nothing wrong with letting a boy be a boy.  And that’s coming from a former little boy who broke a window and stayed out past dinner time because I was having fun playing in the woods.  But I also knew how to behave in public.  So if there’s anything delicate about being a boy, it’s the crucial balance of being “rough and tumble” along with knowing when to say “please”and “thank you.”

Granted, it’s all about raising a well-balanced son.  Being involved in music and art are just as important as being a boy scout and playing sports.  Any of those activities he wants to do and he enjoys, I will encourage him- whether he’s artistic, athletic, or equally both.  As for me, I was never an athlete (or a good one, at least) and it ultimately led me to have an interest in writing- which is why you are reading this today.

Unnecessary Bonus:

All this testosterone in the air is causing me to consider renaming my blog.  I could just see it now…

Randy Savage Italian Jewish

Artwork courtesy of Jeremy Schultz.

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The “Disconnect to Reconnect” Father’s Day Challenge

June 9, 2011 at 10:54 pm , by 

Six months.

baby and TV remote

As much as I fantasize about being a full time writer, the truth is, I work from 8 AM to 4:30 PM every weekday at “my real job” in a sales office. Writing for Parents.com isn’t all I do for a living, in other words; it’s my part time job.  So it’s only natural for intuitive readers to wonder the question, “How do you have time to write six new posts each week for The Dadabase without neglecting your wife and son?”

It’s easy: I sleep less than most people (usually not more than six hours a night). And I only write when my wife and son are asleep.  From roughly 10 PM to 11:30 PM, then again from 6:00 AM to 7:10 AM everyday, I am always writing.

The Dadabase

That means that when I am at home with Jack and Jill, I literally am at home with Jack and Jill.  My policy is that I don’t turn my laptop on while they are awake. That way, I’m not distracted by the blogosphere where I am an active citizen.  As for me and my house, that’s the only way it could work.

I disconnect (from electronic social media distractions) to reconnect with my family while they are awake.

So when I received a challenge from author and media consultant Phil Cooke, asking dads everywhere to disconnect from technology – phones, Facebook, Twitter, email, TV – and spend quality time with their kids for 24 hours this Father’s Day, I knew I could handle it.

My wife and I worship the concept of quality time and giving each other our undivided attention, to the best of our abilities.  We are constantly aware of our need as a married couple with a child to make the most of the little bit of time we have together each day, balancing both family time and time alone as a couple.

So when we do watch TV together, the rule is that it has to be something we both want to watch, like American Idol or The Office.  Or a TV series through Netflix, like Mad Men; which is our current show.  And for the times our son is asleep and we both have a lot of stuff to get caught up on in the Internet world, we do what we have to do but label that time as “personal time.” We fully recognize that time as necessary for us as individuals, but we know full well it is not quality time together; even if we’re sitting next to each other.

This challenge is inspired by Phil Cooke’s new book Jolt! Get the Jump on a World That’s Constantly Changing (April 2011, Thomas Nelson), which lays out 25 “jolts” to help us set the “reset” button on our priorities and boundaries.  I am interested to see how his book fills in all the blanks and connects the dots regarding the importance of “unplugging” in the name of quality time with family.

So here’s the deal for my male readers.  (Do I actually have any?  As long as I’ve been a daddy blogger, I’ve just always assumed at least 97% of my readers are female.) For the first three men who agree to take the challenge with me to unplug for 24 hours on Father’s Day, I will arrange for a free copy of the book mailed to your house.  Just let me know your name and mailing address by leaving a comment on this post. And as long as you are one of the first three to agree to take the challenge, you get a free book.

I will leave my phone and computer alone on Father’s Day! Will you?

The Dadabase
*Thanks and congrats to the first 3 dads who jumped on board and will now be receiving the free book: Mike Mitchell, Marc Theriault, and Mario Sollecchio!
 
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The Intertwining Role of Father and Husband

June 8, 2011 at 9:17 pm , by 

Six months.

baby crib

I had a sneaking suspicion that a realization was setting in: that at least in my mind, I can’t be a good father without being just as good of a husband as well. The more I processed it, the more I believed it: The role of father and husband are completely intertwined and inseparable.  However, I didn’t just want to take my own word for it.  It’s times like these when I ask the world of Facebook and Twitter.

Something I have learned/taught myself from blogging since August 2005 is the importance of being my own devil’s advocate; addressing any potential arguments by simply answering them before a reader ever has the opportunity to bring them up. Therefore, I knew not to ask the question: “Can a man be a good father without being a good husband?”. Because I personally know men who are wonderful fathers despite being divorced, separated or widowed.

So I cleverly asked my social networking friends, “Can a married man be a good father without being a good husband?”. I received convincing answers from both sides, but ultimately I realized the way I asked the question wasn’t clever enough. Because some of the people who answered “yes” made the point that many moms and dads are stuck in unhappy marriages, mainly staying together for the kids. And while that is sad to hear, I know it’s true.

The DadabaseIn the journey of confirming my perception of the intertwining roles of a father and husband, I learned a better question to ask: “Can a happily married man be a good father without being a good husband?” My own personal answer to that question is “no.”  And if a man could actually be happily married while being a good father and a sub-par husband, most likely he would be taking advantage of his wife somehow, like by not doing his fare share of the household duties.  The man would be living in an ignorant bliss while his wife would be living in a world of “unappreciation.”  So while the man would be happily married, the woman would not.

After all my failed attempts at trying to ask a particular question, the best version is actually, “Can a happily married man in a mutually happy marriage be a good father without being a good husband?”.

Of course I get it that a man can be a better father than he is a husband, but I believe a good father would also be highly concerned with improving his husbandly skills.  I just can’t separate a good father from a good husband, in my mind, at least.

Most importantly I realized that the question isn’t one that can be answered by anyone else anyway. It can only be answered by me, a happily married man who is part of a marriage in which neither party will settle for mediocre.  My wife and I decided from the very beginning that we would end up being one of those old couples who still held hands; who still deliberately go on dates no matter what distractions in life come along.

daddy

Last weekend my wife and I were at Earth Fare, an organic grocery store, having a coffee date.  The woman making our coffees randomly asked us how long we had been married.  Up until that point, she didn’t know anything about us other than what she had observed by watching us wait for our coffee and learning our appreciation for the delicious cookie samples we partook of at the counter.  “This July will be three years,” we answered.

“You act just like newlyweds!” she replied.

For me, a man who is obsessed with being a good father and a good husband in a mutually happymarriage, that’s one of the best compliments I can receive.

baby in crib