One in every ten guitar players is a “cool guitar guy”. That’s a guitar player who uses his musical abilities as a social crutch. In college, Cool Guitars Guys were easy to spot: They could be found conveniently playing on a sidewalk near the dorms with the most females. Their favorite songs to play for people include, but are not limited to “Sweet Home Alabama”, “Tears in Heaven”, “Stairway to Heaven”, “Enter Sandman”, and “Wonderwall”. Cool Guitar Guys don’t really have to sing much more than the chorus, just the main guitar licks. Because once the familiar part of the song is played, a token instant-fan or two will feed Cool Guitar Guy with “Oh, I love this song!” Of course you do.

Cool Guitar Guys usually have faces that are fist magnets, like Spencer Pratt. They always have this tendency to break Man Code, spouting off how much they loved the movie The Notebook, in an effort to show their sensitive side to the girl listeners in their small audience. And if they can find a reason to talk about kids, they will go and on about how much they love their nieces and nephews (to convince prospective dates they would make a good husband one day).

Granted, Cool Guitar Guy isn’t taken seriously by the other nine guitar players in the statistic. Because normal guitar players don’t need the guitar to be cool and to start conversations.