Despite the countless number of plays I’ve acted in and have watched, there are certain quirky elements of the theatre that I will never be able to get over.  The main distraction for me is when a person portrays a character that is obviously nowhere near their own age.  Not in the way that 47 year-old male musicians do here in Nashville, wearing tight ripped jeans with a trendy $62 t-shirt and having long highlighted hair, thinking they might actually be fooling someone into believing they are 24 instead.

 

But when a 21-year old puts baby powder in his hair to play Grandpa or a couple of 14 year old girls are supposed to be preschoolers just because they’re wearing pajamas and giggle a lot, I just can’t get over it.  Though I try so hard.

 

Gray hair must be earned.  The wisdom and life experience it represents clumsily clashes with the oily smooth skin of a young college student.

 

And the true innocence of a 4 year-old just can’t be captured by a teenager who much more clearly understands the difference between right and wrong.

 

It’s as phony and unbecoming as when the actor portraying a character in the sequel of a movie or later season of a TV show is different than the original one.  I know I’m supposed to go along with it, truly believing in the art of theatre, so that the character is the one I’m seeing, not the actor.  But with me, it’s just not the case.

 

From April O’Neil in the Ninja Turtle movies, to the original pale skinned Ben (Ross’s son) on Friends to the later tan one (who was played by the twins now known as the stars of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody), to Rocky’s son in pretty much every movie, to Harriet Winslow on Family Matters in the later seasons as people stopped watching the show.  All imposters.  Am I supposed to be so gullible that I truly don’t notice that Michael Keeton turned into Val Kilmer in between 1992 and 1995 in the Batman movies?

 

Actors take us into a story that happens right in front of us.  They help us escape.  They help us see reflections of our own lives.  But no matter how good they are, two things an actor can not truly believably do are A) portray a much younger or older character (20 years either way) and B) portray a character that another actor already branded in our minds from the same recent movie or TV franchise.  There is a thin line between acting and pretending and those are two ways to cross that line.

 

“My life is like a sequel to a movie where the actor’s names have changed.”  -John Mayer (“83”)