August 9, 2012 at 11:16 pm , by Nick Shell

20 months.

About 24 hours ago, I published “How Do Parents Leave Their Kids Alone In A Hot Car?!”

To summarize it, I basically said that I feel like every time I hear another “parent left their kid alone in the hot car” story, it’s always that the parent was a bit looney to begin with.

I ended it with this:

“But really, I don’t know, do non-crazy parents end up leaving their kids alone in the car? Do they?”

The answer is yes.

Good, normal parents who are respected in their community have unfortunately accidently left their kids alone in a hot car.

The most common way this seems to happen: They simply forgot to drop off their kid, who was quiet in the back seat.

Here are a couple of links to prove it:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/12/living/hot-car-deaths-parenting/index.html#

http://www.wsmv.com/story/19231074/experts-heat-related-incidents-with-kids-in-cars-can-happen-to-anyone

As I mentioned in this post’s prequel, I totally see how I could forget my son in the back seat of my car, on a morning when he is really tame on the drive and while I am very preoccupied with 17 random thoughts and 8 that actually are important.

But I want to make sure I never do forget.

I read this statement from the Safe Kids Worldwide CEO, Kate Carr, who had some advice for parents to prevent forgetting their child in the car:

“Create reminders by putting something in the back of your car – a briefcase, your purse, or better yet, your cell phone – that is needed at your final destination. This is especially important if you’re not following your normal routine.”

So, yeah, I’m going to start doing that. Starting today.

Now that I know it’s not just a stereotype of a parent who accidently leaves their kid in the car seat on a hot summer day, I’m ready to spread awareness.

What better way to do that than with another one of my glorious awareness ribbons?

For the record, I think awareness ribbons are annoying by now and are well past the “jumped the shark” point. And for me, that’s why they work. They spread awareness, even if through sheer tackiness like an infomercial.

So as I look at this orange “Kid Still In The Car Seat” Awareness ribbon that took me about 90 seconds to create on PicFont.com, I will be reminded to start leaving my cell phone in the back seat next to my son from now on.

Not to mention, I don’t need the added danger of tempting myself to text my wife while I’m driving.

I want to set good, preventative habits as a parent.

Thanks to those of you who left comments on ”How Do Parents Leave Their Kids Alone In A Hot Car?!”  You led me here and I think I’m a better parent for it.

August 8, 2012 at 10:39 pm , by Nick Shell

(The next day I answered this question with “Kid Still In The Car Seat” Awareness. Read it if you are curious to see if my view changed on this subject. Hint: It did.)

20 months.

I think I already know the answer: You sort of have to be crazy.

Right?

Today a news story popped up about a 25 year-old mom who left her two toddlers in the car while she went back inside the house to take an hour nap. When the mom returned to her car, her children were dead.

The problem with this story is that it’s too familiar. It’s not really that unique, unfortunately.

I feel like I hear of slightly different version of this happening a couple times every summer.

Assuming the mom in that particular story wasn’t insane, on bath salts, or demon possessed, I tried to imagine if I could ever end up in her position.

As soon as I heard about the story while I was at work today, I immediately reminded myself of this morning’s events:

“Okay, you definitely dropped off Jack at daycare this morning because as soon as you plopped him down, his friend Sophie started growling at him like she was a dinosaur, then immediately offered him a cup to play with. Yes, that was this morning. Not yesterday. You didn’t leave your son alone in the car in the parking lot… Whew!”

Even then, since that moment, I have questioned myself on whether or not I could ever become one of those parents who leaves their kid alone in a hot car.

I try to imagine a worst case scenario where I drive straight to work and forget Jack in the back seat because he was really quiet and content the whole time, which caused me to fall into a state of surreal solitude. I mean, life is stressful, could that ever happen to me?

Nah.

Here’s why. Every time another one of these “parent left their kid alone in a hot car” story surfaces, it always ends up that the parent was less than a dependable and respected member of society.

There’s always something shady going on with them to begin with.

I’ve yet to hear of this happening where a “normal parent” like one of us finds themselves in a situation like this.

Until then, I think I’ll be able to keep myself out of a Shawshank Redemption kind of setting.

But really, I don’t know, do non-crazy parents end up leaving their kids alone in the car?

Do they?

July 22, 2012 at 3:32 pm , by Nick Shell

20 months.

Watching news coverage of the Aurora shooting reminds me of what a true hero says when they are asked the cliche TV interviewer question, “Would you consider yourself a hero?”

The person always responds with, “I’m no hero. I saw someone who needed help so I helped them. No, I’m not a hero.”

When we see these stories where everyday citizens help save the lives of a strangers in the midst of an accident or a tragedy, which in this case meant pulling injured victims to safety out of the line of fire in that movie theatre, we feel gratitude knowing that there are people all around us willing to become real life heroes when the moment arises.

Just like the way a real leader doesn’t have to go around proclaiming their authority, nor does a real hero announce their deeds.

Today is Parents’ Day. (Yes, it is an actual American holiday.)

Most of us have probably never ran inside a burning building to save someone’s life. But as parents, we’re still saving someone’s life everyday.

We sacrifice a whole lot to not only keep our children alive each day (which is sort of the bare minimum goal) but are also constantly teaching them how to survive when we’re not around. And when I say “survive” I don’t just mean physically.

I also mean socially and psychologically. Without our guidance, instruction, and discipline, how would they function?

Yet, do we really consider ourselves as heroes? I sure don’t. My child needs my help so I help him. That’s it.

You can’t refuse to take care of your child because then you wouldn’t be a parent anymore.

But I say, you are a parent, and therefore, you are a hero. You are Supermom. You are Superdad.

Even if you won’t admit it.

May 17, 2012 at 9:19 pm , by Nick Shell

A year and a half.

Culturally, as children of The Eighties, we’ve been taught we’re not supposed to care what other people think about us. But really, is that even possible? Especially as parents, shouldn’t we care… at least a little?

In my office I work with a guy who, at least once a week, declares, “I could care less what people think about me!” The funny thing is, he has said it enough times that I no longer believe him.

I’m convinced that he wants people to think he doesn’t care; therefore, he cares what people think of him.

When it comes to being a parent, I suppose it can be easy to put yourself in a position to be judged and analyzed by other parents.

“Why did you decide to circumcise your son?”

“Oh, you don’t let him drink fruit juice?”

“You did the ‘cry it out’ method with him? Don’t you know that traumatizes a kid?”

So much polarization in parenting.

Here’s the thing about me. I do care about what people think about me… to an extent. And I think it’s important that I do.

It matters that I’m not a racist, a bigot, a gossip, a chauvinist, or a self-centered jerk. There are all kinds of things I don’t what to be perceived as. Like a bad father.

What would make me a bad parent? Not caring. Choosing not to be involved in my son’s life.

But when it comes to being perceived as wrong about all those numerous controversial parenting issues… well, that’s cool with me.

Because the thing is, when it comes to every and any issue in life in general, there’s a pretty good chance I’m wrong at least half the time. Especially in being a dad.

And being “wrong” in the eyes of the slight majority doesn’t mean I’m not a good father. Whether or not I’m being “normal enough” is irrelevant to me.

Accordingly, I just don’t have time to worry about other parents.

For example, I am absolutely against medicating my child for ADHD at any point. But how do I feel about parents who do?

Don’t care. Not my kid.

So what do I care about? I care that I have my own convictions on how I will raise my son and that I stick to them. If I have questions, I will seek the advice of people I respect. Not worry myself about it.

I want to say today that ultimately, I honestly don’t care what other parents think about me as a parent.

While I’m at it, I would love to also proclaim that I don’t judge other parents when I disagree with their parenting style, as I deal with the plank in my own eye as opposed to the perceived speck of dust in the eyes of other parents.

But like the coworker who I mentioned earlier, do I really feel this way or do I just want you to think I do?

That is the question.