March 6, 2014 at 9:33 pm , by Nick Shell

3 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

Last week at work, I had a conversation with a co-worker named Matt, who has two small kids.

I was telling him how, the longer I’m a parent, the mellower of a person I am becoming. In other words, stuff is just bothering me less compared to the way it used to.

To my surprise, he agreed- he can also personally relate. We acknowledged that whether it’s gaining more patience, or a greater ability to not allow annoying things to bother us, the journey of being parents has broken us in, for the better.

Over three years ago, when I become a parent, I was a much more out-spoken, polarizing person; especially in regards to the world of social media… especially in relation to politics and religion.

Well, that has definitely gradually changed over the past couple of years.

For example, I no longer care to publically share my political affiliation (or disassociation). I feel that public political conversations divide people; causing them to believe that by putting blind faith into a certain political party, that there’s hope that “the other side” will be converted into an opposing belief system; therefore “getting America back on track.”

I’m so over that. I can’t change people’s political beliefs. Plus, I don’t want to be labeled (and limited) to just one side.

All I can do is hope to change the world through my behavior, which (hopefully) proves the validity of my beliefs in the first place.

Having learned that, I’ve realized that same concept applies to parenting issues which I had previously debated with other parents about.

Like the “cry it out” method, attachment parenting, and circumcision…

I used to be so quick to allow myself to get involved in public online debates over those issues. These days, I strive to not take, or present, the bait.

And really, I haven’t said anything controversial in a while…

Granted, I’m still constantly thinking out of the box, and open-minded to concepts that many people might question.

But now, I’m handling these situations differently than I would have six months or even a year ago:

Nick Shell

22 hours ago 

I still like to engage people, and learn from others, but not at the risk of being polarizing. So I’m more discreet and more private about my questions and concerns regarding the world and the people who live in it.

It’s my opinion that the chaotic process of parenthood has forced me to focus on what really matters.

I have gotten to the point where I don’t feel the need to have to explain myself to other people if they find out my point of view and disagree with it. What’s the point in defending your beliefs to someone who is not open-minded to hearing them anyway?

Instead of controversy, I’m seeking the collaboration of ideas with other people.

I seek truth, not simply believing I’m right.

Being a parent has peripherally taught me to focus more on how I can become a better person withthe help of other people; not how I can try to make other people better against their will or conviction.

It’s trained me to not let things bother me like they used to. I don’t know if this necessarily makes sense to other parents, but it’s definitely how I feel.

Parenthood is a humbling process.

Love,

Daddy

July 26, 2012 at 12:13 am , by Nick Shell

20 months.

Rainbow is the new pink. Literally.

I’m not against raising money and awareness for cancer, but for the past couple of years now, I feel like I’m one of the only people willing to point out the irony of buying junk food with a pink ribbon on the package.

Yes, some of the money goes to find a cure for cancer. But also, eating junk food doesn’t help prevent cancer. Quite the opposite.

Even if it’s pop culture heresy, I’m willing to say it: Pink sells. It’s a convenient marketing strategy that most people aren’t willing to criticize.

Turns out, selling cancer awareness with the color pink has inspired a new trend that’s starting to pop up: Gay-friendly ads.

They’re perfect because they create a lot of buzz among the exact demographic they are going after:

Eighteen to 34 year-olds; most of whom are Generation Y, a group of young adults who likes to be known for being open-minded and accepting.

Sure, there are those who are personally offended by seeingJC Penney’s “Gay Dad Ad” or Kraft’s Oreo ”Rainbow Cookie” ad.

But the percentage of those who are upset enough to actually not buy the product is evidently irrelevant in comparison to all those who will either deliberately or subconsciously prefer a brand or product because of a gay-friendly ad.

Somewhere between 1% and 3% of Americans are gay; about 4 million people. But that’s enough to culturally divide the rest of us over it.

Here’s where it gets tricky. It’s gotten to the point now where it’s clearly politically incorrect to not support gay marriage.

What does gay marriage have to do with chicken? Ask thepeople banning Chick-fil-A.

The funny thing is, I can’t find where Chick-fil-A’s President Dan Cathy actually even used the phrase “gay marriage” in an interview. (Will someone please link proof of it in a comment for me?)

Yet Chick-fil-A is apparently being banned by the Muppets and the mayor of Boston, Thomas Menino, over this.

I find it extremely ironic that people are banning Chick-fil-A in the name of accepting others when they are not accepting of those who do not endorse gay marriage.

At the same time, I’m cool with gay-friendly ads. Nor do I oppose gay marriage; as recognized by the State.

But let’s be honest about what this really is.

These gay-friendly ads are a marketing strategy. That’s why more brands are using them. And they are evidently working.

What can we expect in the future? More gay-friendly ads.

Especially advertising products to parents who do the shopping for food and clothing for the household.

Will you buy your kid Oreos because you saw their rainbow ad? Kraft thinks you will. Same thing with JC Penney.

I predict that it’s only a matter of time before we see a gay-friendly diaper ad. I give it until the end of the year.

Instead of a faux denim diaper, why not a rainbow diaper?

Update since original publishing…

Here are two links that give more background on what Mr. Cathy actually said:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/26/us/gay-rights-uproar-over-chick-fil-a-widens.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/17/dan-cathy-chick-fil-a-president-anti-gay_n_1680984.html

July 24, 2012 at 9:51 pm, by Nick Shell

The organization One Million Moms is calling for a boycott of the upcoming NBC drama-comedy, The New Normal, which features a woman who chooses to become a surrogate mother for a gay couple.

My question is, “Why can’t those one million moms be in control of what their kids watch in their own house?”

Coincidentally, Jim Henson, Co. and the mayor of Boston, as well as at least 4,000 people so far have signed a petition to boycott Chick-fil-A, after President Dan Cathy made a remark in an interview confirming his stance on the traditional model of marriage: one man and one woman.

(For many, that apparently translates as “our entire restaurant chain disapproves of gay marriage and homosexuals in general.”)

That’s right. Sorry, Elmo. No more Chick-fil-A for you.

These similar and yet opposite news stories remind me of a quote by Henry Steele Commager:

“The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion.”

I’ve never been a fan of censorship or boycotting anything. I’d rather let the free market decide. Because it does.

Back in March, I correctly predicted that ABC’s “GCB” wouldn’t last, as it seemed to offend the very audience it needed to survive.

It lasted 6 episodes. No one had to ban the show because mainstream America decided on their own not to watch it; whether deliberately or subconsciously, we’ll never know.

I curiously think about the best case scenarios for the boycotts endorsed by both One Million Moms and those who oppose Chick-fil-A.

If The New Normal ended up being cancelled because enough people didn’t watch it, would it change the fact that homosexuals are still raising children in the real world, whether those gay couples are “legally married” or not?

And if Chick-fil-A suffers greatly as a business because its President opposes gay marriage, will he suddenly change his religious beliefs, even going as far as to open his restaurants on Sunday in honor of same-sex parents?

Imagine the great responsibility of only being able to consume the products and receive the services of the companies and organizations who share and reflect your exact belief system in every way.

So let the people watch The New Normal. If it’s a good show that happens to feature gay parents, like Modern Family, then it will last because people will naturally watch it on their own.

And let the people eat at Chick-fil-A. I personally won’t be participating, but that’s only because I’m a vegetarian.