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The Peculiar Rise of Outspoken Evangelical Christians in 2011

December 29, 2011 at 6:32 am , by 

13 months.

I don’t even watch sports, nor do I have cable, but yet still I have been unable to ignore the relevance of the 24 year-old quarterback for the Denver Broncos; Mr. Tim Tebow.

Even I know that this guy, according to Wikipedia, inspired 92 million people to Google “John 3:16″ after he wore the phrase in his eye paint during the 2009 BCS Championship Game. Then in 2010 for the Super Bowl, he starred in a pro-life commercial for Focus on the Family.

Since then his popularity, along with the public’s knowledge of his Christian faith, has grown big enough for me, Mr. “I Don’t Care About Sports,” to know all about this Tebow guy. Love him or hate him; he’s totally relevant in American pop culture now.

Just mention his name on your Facebook wall and see what happens.

Of course, Tebow isn’t the only outspoken evangelical Christian to continually make headline news this year.

Sure, they may make their own clothes from time to time, but the Duggars are cool. America has come around to realize this. The authenticity of this family’s love for one another, as well as for others, is undeniable. I think that’s one of the reasons America is fascinated with them.

What may have started as a “let’s watch the modern day Waltons” concept on TLC back in 2008 has officially become a staple for the network. While earlier in the year I heard many people making comments like “When are they finally going to stop having babies?” many of those same people now feel an authentic sense of sadness as the Duggars have recently went public with the knowledge of their recent miscarriage.

From financial guru Dave Ramsey to blogger-turned-author Jon Acuff (Stuff Christians Like and Quitter), born-again Christians are sneaking into mainstream American pop culture with relevance, therefore gaining the respect of not only Christians, but also (maybe even more importantly) those who do not claim a religious stance.

I feel like it wasn’t always this way. It could have something to do with the fact that less Americans identify themselves as Christians compared to prior decades. Therefore, “Christian” has become less of a generic term in our society. So while agnostics and atheists have become more respected and accepted by the general population, so have Christians.

Honestly, I like it better this way. We can all be truthful about who we really are now.

These days, if you take the effort to identify as a follower of Christ, I think it means more than ever before. But if you do, people definitely expect you to be different. In fact, it seems the main problem people seem to have with Christians is when they’re not different enough from mainstream society.

Here on The Dadabase, does the fact that I’m an evangelical Christian make a difference in my writing? Does it season my viewpoint accordingly? Does it even make a difference? Is that part relevant in the society of today’s parents? Do people even want my Christian perspective on being a dad?

I’m hoping the answer is yes.

The tricky part is, Christians are supposed to be humble. How can any Christian in the mainstream spotlight be open about their faith, have a solid opinion about anything, and still be perceived as a sincere Christian? In essence, the term Christian celebrity is an oxymoron.

That’s what I truly call “the Tebow complex.”

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Accidently Teaching My Toddler Bad Behavior (Because It’s Funny!)

December 26, 2011 at 6:42 pm , by 

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Why This Dad is Offering Free Private Advice Via Email

December 22, 2011 at 7:23 pm , by 

Let me be your non-licensed, unprofessional 2nd opinion for all things dad-like.

No matter how close of a friend you have, I still believe there are certain things you just can’t ask them because A) you know them too well and B) they know your family and friends.

I remember when I got married back in 2008 how I wished there was some random, yet relevant and normal guy who understood what I was going through, who I could easily get free advice from.

Back then, I was so clueless as to how to be a husband; knowing what to say and how to react to my wife, and more importantly, what not to say and how not to react. I just wanted an anonymous advice source.

By now, I’m much more comfortable being a husband; as I had to learn simply through trial and error, and reading clever books like Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat? and For Men Only.

I was that much more overwhelmed when I become a dad 13 months ago. I was frustrated on so many levels and wanted some invisible person who didn’t know me by name to tell me exactly what to do.

Gandhi said, “We need to be the change we wish to see in the world.” So I’m taking his advice.

Starting now, I am volunteering myself as this anonymous advice giver. In particular, my free service is for dads and moms who don’t want their problems aired publicly before critics, but who just want simple, straight-forward advice for their stressful and/or delicate situations regarding parenting.

Dads, are you annoyed by the fact that your child is so clingy to your wife all the time; causing your wife to become stressed out because she can’t get anything done? And are you beyond frustrated that you want to help your wife but know that if you try, your child will do nothing but cry for your wife? I want to help you with deal with this, but not in front of a female audience.

Moms, is your husband just all of the sudden getting angry for no reason and not telling you why? Is he not helping out enough with the baby and with cooking and cleaning? I’ll be glad to tell you how to motivate him, but not here, knowing that at least a quarter of my readers are male.

In this “online hotline” of mine, I am very serious about staying committed to it being anonymous. I truly don’t want to know you who are; not even a hint. I simply want to help people I don’t know.

If you’re interested and/or curious and in need of some “dadvice,” simply send me an email to nickshell1983@hotmail.com. Just so I don’t overlook it in my inbox, be sure to include the codeword “dadvice” in the subject line.

Image: Free Advice Via Shutterstock.

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“Scary Mommy” Blog Challenges Judgmental Parenting Culture

December 18, 2011 at 9:33 pm , by 

13 months.

Today my wife read a very intriguing article to me, graced from the pages of the December 2011 issue of Redbook magazine. It was written by mom blogger, Jill Smokler, who cleverly crafted a virtual confessional for parents where passing judgment is not allowed.

Her blog is called Scary Mommy. In fact, in it, Smokler has incorporated “Like,” “OMG! Me too!” and “Hug” buttons for contributors to compliment each other.

What do I think of it? I love it.

It is no secret that in the culture of mommy and daddy blogging, crucifying a blogger or commenter for being a “bad parent” is the norm. In fact, the witch hunt to “out” a bad parent has become a sort of unofficial game to many.

In Smokler’s article in Redbook, she confronts the heckling habits of many parents commonly found in the parenting blogosphere:

“So why the condemnation? Why does identifying someone as a poor mother make us feel better about ourselves? There is no trophy for best parenting, and nothing to be gained from pitting ourselves against one another.”

I’m with you, Jill Smokler.

But I have a confession to make, as a daddy blogger. Just look on the right hand side of the screen where it says “Most Popular Posts.” Two of the five spots there are probably occupied with The Half Abortion: Only Keeping One Twin and How Not to Be “That Mom” or “That Dad.”

These two articles of mine continue to engage new readers each day to The Dadabase. Yet the titles of them alone contain a subconscious message: Read this to learn how wrong or at least how out-of-touch with reality these other parents are.

If I simply wrote cute stories about my son, The Dadabase would not be a growing blog. So I try to keep the “cute stories” portion down to only about a quarter of my material; making the majority of my posts about external parenting issues, only seasoned with my paternal viewpoint.

In other words, “cute stories” alone don’t sell- they’re just the icing on the cake. As a daddy blogger, I have to continue to be engaging, and I have quickly learned that any post I write that invites a reader to share their input beyond, “Oh yeah, I could see that,” or “I totally agree,” but instead sparks them to make a moral judgment, if only in their mind, is more likely to become a hit.

So am I adding to the noise or playing a different tune? That’s for you to decide.

Image: Loser via Shutterstock.

 

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Feeling Unworthy and Unqualified to Be a Dad

December 18, 2011 at 7:34 am , by 

13 months.

For the past five months, while driving my son home each day, he has always dozed off to the sounds of Weezer or The Red Hot Chili Peppers. I have depended on him getting that nap every day. But over the last week, that has changed.

I think it’s because of a number of things. It’s now dark when I pick him up from KinderCare, so I imagine it makes it more difficult for him to fall asleep. Plus he’s transitioning into the toddler class now. He doesn’t want to drink formula anymore, just solid foods and water.

All these changes at once are surely effecting his psyche.

So now, on the drive home each day, he cries and screams as loud as he can. There is only one remedy.

In an act which is the equivalent to me standing on the tips of my toes, I reach back to his rear-facing car seat and use my pointer and middle fingers to lightly tap the top of his head and forehead. He instantly stops wailing; becoming silent.

After my entire arm begins falling asleep, I take my hand away to let the blood start flowing again. It typically takes about 8 seconds for him to realize what has happened and then he’s back to screaming.

I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s pretty hilarious that my son cries as hard as he can until I start tapping the top of his head again. It’s funny how something that stupid can solve the problem; and that it’s the only way to solve the problem.

Yes, it’s ridiculous. But it’s also pretty humbling.

Though I continually am aware of how unworthy and unqualified I am to give life to another human being and soul, and to raise him on top of that, it’s little things like this that begin to convince me otherwise.

Maybe in some capacity I actually am chosen to do this job. Even if I don’t believe in myself as a dad, God evidently does.

After all, just the presence of the tips of two of my fingers dancing along to the drum beat of whatever rock song is playing through the stereo speakers is all he needs.

Literally, that’s all he needs. Every once in a while he’ll reach up and grab onto my pinky, as to hold my hand, but only for a few seconds. Then he lets go.

I know him. That’s just our shared style of father and son bonding. If he’s going to hold someone’s hand, it’s going to be Mommy’s.

Apparently, I am helping him cope with being afraid of the dark by him feeling my constant movement, as to scare the ghosts and monsters away.