Storytelling

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My Toddler Son’s Cold Welcome Back To Mommy

May 21, 2012 at 5:50 am , by 

A year and a half.

I had never taken care of my son Jack overnight without my wife Jill being there.

It’s not something I was worried about; I knew I could handle Jill’s day and half business trip to Washington, DC.

Feeding him dinner, bathing him, putting him to bed, handling breakfast the next morning, packing all his stuff for daycare, then dinner and bedtime again.

That’s all I had to handle; in the midst of also picking up my wife’s goodies for Mother’s Day.

So in reality, how did it go? Did I manage it okay?

Uh, yeah. Actually, it was a little too easy.

I didn’t want to wife to know that, though. I didn’t want her to learn that I was able to get him to sleep earlier and quicker than normal. And that I was able to leave the house the next morning about 10 minutes earlier, too.

Not to mention, bath time was a breeze. Jack and I had a lot of fun squirting each other with his bath toys. Before we both knew it, he was sparkly clean and he was pleasantly eager to fall asleep.

This situation reminded me of an article my wife had read which explained that a child is often the most difficult and high maintenance with the parent who he or she was closest to in infancy. After this event, I could see that.

That’s not to say we didn’t both miss her very much. He definitely kept asking “Mama?” while she was gone.

But he seemed to understand as I would explain that Mommy would be back the next day.

I told Jill how I was looking forward to the look on his face when he woke up Saturday morning and saw that she was back. We both had high expectations.

At 6:23 AM on Saturday Jill and I woke up to Jack’s usual hilarious monologue consisting of animal sounds and calls for Elmo. Together, we snuck in his bedroom.

He was standing up, hanging on to the rail of his bed, with his diaper off and a puddle of pee on the carpet below. (That has never happened before!)

Jack was in a weird daze. He seemed apathetic to the fact that Mommy was back, despite my own proclamations of excitement for him.

We travelled to The Pfunky Griddle to have breakfast with Henry’s family and then to another of his toddler friend’s birthday parties.

It wasn’t until the middle of the afternoon that Jack warmed back up to her. I could tell it sort of hurt my wife’s feelings because he wasn’t acting happy that she was back. Actually, I was pretty bummed for her.

I certainly didn’t want to rub it in that things went so well while she was gone. So I did the only thing I knew to do: Let things work themselves out on their own.

By the next day, Jack was whining for Mommy again.

But something tells me that my son’s cold welcome back to Mommy isn’t so unique of an experience in the world of parenting. I bet there’s some psychology behind it that someone smarter than myself could explain; or at least someone else who can relate to this seemingly unusual story.

[Passes the mic to the audience.]

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How Much Do You Care What Other Parents Think?

May 17, 2012 at 9:19 pm , by 

A year and a half.

Culturally, as children of The Eighties, we’ve been taught we’re not supposed to care what other people think about us. But really, is that even possible? Especially as parents, shouldn’t we care… at least a little?

In my office I work with a guy who, at least once a week, declares, “I could care less what people think about me!” The funny thing is, he has said it enough times that I no longer believe him.

I’m convinced that he wants people to think he doesn’t care; therefore, he cares what people think of him.

When it comes to being a parent, I suppose it can be easy to put yourself in a position to be judged and analyzed by other parents.

“Why did you decide to circumcise your son?”

“Oh, you don’t let him drink fruit juice?”

“You did the ‘cry it out’ method with him? Don’t you know that traumatizes a kid?”

So much polarization in parenting.

Here’s the thing about me. I do care about what people think about me… to an extent. And I think it’s important that I do.

It matters that I’m not a racist, a bigot, a gossip, a chauvinist, or a self-centered jerk. There are all kinds of things I don’t what to be perceived as. Like a bad father.

What would make me a bad parent? Not caring. Choosing not to be involved in my son’s life.

But when it comes to being perceived as wrong about all those numerous controversial parenting issues… well, that’s cool with me.

Because the thing is, when it comes to every and any issue in life in general, there’s a pretty good chance I’m wrong at least half the time. Especially in being a dad.

And being “wrong” in the eyes of the slight majority doesn’t mean I’m not a good father. Whether or not I’m being “normal enough” is irrelevant to me.

Accordingly, I just don’t have time to worry about other parents.

For example, I am absolutely against medicating my child for ADHD at any point. But how do I feel about parents who do?

Don’t care. Not my kid.

So what do I care about? I care that I have my own convictions on how I will raise my son and that I stick to them. If I have questions, I will seek the advice of people I respect. Not worry myself about it.

I want to say today that ultimately, I honestly don’t care what other parents think about me as a parent.

While I’m at it, I would love to also proclaim that I don’t judge other parents when I disagree with their parenting style, as I deal with the plank in my own eye as opposed to the perceived speck of dust in the eyes of other parents.

But like the coworker who I mentioned earlier, do I really feel this way or do I just want you to think I do?

That is the question.

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My 18 Month-old Toddler Says Bye-Bye Inappropriately

May 16, 2012 at 7:56 pm , by 

A year and a half.

Jack loves to find a reason to tell someone (or something) goodbye. He gets the concept of saying “bye-bye” to other people when he is leaving the room.

But what he doesn’t understand is that it only applies to humans.

When walking down in the sidewalk in our neighborhood and we pass a neighbor walking their dog… you guessed it. Once the dog passes us, not the person walking the dog, Jack tells the dog “bye-bye.”

As Jack is in his rear-facing car seat on the drive home from day care and the car behind us turns the other way at a 4-way stop… “bye-bye.”

At the end of bath time each night, even the water going down the drain is worthy of a sweet farewell.

Of course, today marks a milestone for Jack anyway because he is now a year and a half old. However, it’s also special because he spoke his first sentence:

“Bye-bye Dada.”

As Jill was carrying him upstairs for bedtime, he turned back to me and said it very clearly.

I’ve never heard him combine two words in a legitimate manner until now.

To hear him say his first sentence actually was a bigger deal for me than when he said his first word; which coincidentally was “Dada.”

But the sentence “Bye-bye Dada” was more special. He looked me right in the eyes. It was so deliberate.

Those two words conveyed not just a simple message to me, but instead, “I know who you are. I know you take care of me. I love you.”

Or maybe I’m just reading into it.

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Oversharenting Awareness: TMI About Your Kids In Social Media

May 15, 2012 at 8:23 pm , by 

17 months.

Do you really want to know about a former high school classmate’s toddler’s pooping schedule? Or even worse, see the evidence?

Where do you draw the line on sharing your own child’s info on Facebook, Twitter, and any other social network?

I think about this constantly. From pictures, to videos, to status updates, to blog entries, I have to ask myself:

Am I doing this at the future expense of my son, as well as, the present expense of my reputation and my wife’s?

Am I exploiting my son or simply sharing the joy he brings me?

Ironically, today’s article wasn’t intended to be about this.

Instead, it was going to be entitled “Being Naked In Front Of Your Toddler.” It would have talked about how even though it’s not weird for your toddler to see their parents naked now, it will be in several years.

But my wife nixed it.

She said even though it’s probably a very relatable (and funny) topic for a lot of parents out there, it still falls in the “too much information” category. Because after all, there are definitely creepy people who search the Internet for that kind of stuff, in a bad way.

So I won’t be sharing the story about how a few weeks ago my wife snuck our son into the bathroom while I was in the shower and he pulled open the curtain, pointed up at me, and started laughing.

Because that could be considered “oversharenting.”

Oh well. Our society loves watching train wrecks. That’s why reality TV rules the major networks instead of classic laugh track-infused sitcoms with corny but catchy theme songs.

And maybe that’s why it’s easy not to hesitate to share too much information about our kids online.

Maybe we subconsciously follow the examples we see in our mainstream popular culture in which boundaries are irresponsibly set to help insure we snag enough “cool points” from our Facebook friends and Twitter followers.

I personally am always in danger of oversharenting. If not, this daddy blog of mine pretty much couldn’t exist. Or at least, it wouldn’t be interesting.

But as the conductor of this train, I keep a close watch on the tracks. As far as I know, I haven’t wrecked yet.

 

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My Toddler Son, The Baby Bartender

May 10, 2012 at 11:27 pm , by 

17 months.

My wife Jill is one of those girls who keeps things very clean and organized. Now that I’ve been married to her for nearly 4 years, I have become a lot like her in that way.

Though for me, it’s more about keeping things feng shui.

And sure enough, without a doubt, our son has taken notice.

I suppose the theory on how my son reminds me of a baby bartender is that Jill would let him play with a moist diaper wipe while changing his diaper.

After having had observed her wiping off the counters every night after prepping dinner, Jack realized he could use his “toy” diaper wipe to help clean up around the house.

All it took was finding the perfect sized counter top for him to be able to wipe off: Our “coffee table,” which is actually intended to go outdoors on a patio but we found it on clearance and decided it can get the job done.

During his playtime, cleaning our coffee table has become one of his official activities that he enjoys doing. Last Saturday, I was sitting down in our living room watching him wipe it down when he casually, yet intently, came over to me and “washed” my back. Twice.

As he enjoyed his newest playtime activity, the theme song to Cheers started playing in my head. I couldn’t help but realize how much Jack’s demeanor resembled that of a token bartender on a classic TV show.

I especially feel that way when I look at the picture of him to the right. It looks like he has his sleeves rolled up, showing off his muscles.

As I allow the fantasy story line to unfold, I imagine another toddler walking up to Jack’s bar:

Jack says, “What’ll it be, a Baby Brewsky?”

His customer replies, “Nah, I’ll take a Milk & Scotch… hold the Scotch.”

But seriously, I’m digging the fact that my son actually likes cleaning; at such an early age, too.

Makes me wonder what else we can teach him to clean.

Hmm… he’s tall enough to reach the toilet seats…