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What Would Change If There Was No Censorship On TV?

September 23, 2012 at 3:39 pm , by 

22 months.

As parents we have to be very aware of what our children are exposed to, especially in our own homes.

So what would change if there was no censorship on TV?

I think it’s only natural for our first reaction to possibly be that we assume there would automatically be constant f-words and racial slurs, marathons of pornography, and live assassinations and other types of violent, bloody viewings of people losing their lives.

The funny thing is, people who want to see those kind of things are able to watch them any time they want… on the Internet, where there already is no censorship.

But TV is much different than the Internet; TV more controllably directs millions of people to one program at once, therefore making sponsorship a more fickle thing.

There’s this whole concept of “things you can’t say or do on TV” but the truth is, we the people, the free market, are the ones deciding the ultimate standards we see on television.

The halftime show of Super Bowl XXXVIII is the best example I can think of. Yeah, that was the one with the infamous “Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake” incident.

The FCC, The Federal Communications Commission, fined the CBS network a record $550,000; because so many people called in to complain.

It’s safe to say that the majority of those people who complained were parents who were offended by what the network allowed their children to see on TV.

My best understanding of censorship on television is this:

Each TV network has its own censors, who decide what subject matter is too racy or vulgar to keep them in good standing with A) The FCC and B) their viewers.

In other words, the TV networks are simply making an effort to avoid getting fined and losing viewers, which means they lose sponsors for their programs.

For example, American society has decided that the word “sh–” is too vulgar to be spoken on the major networks, meanwhile, “g.d.” is not.

In fact, this past Friday I watched Primetime: What Would You Do? where “sh–” was bleeped out but “g.d.” was clearly spoken, uncensored.

Even a decade ago, “g.d.” was still too taboo for us to hear on TV without flinching.

But speaking of breaking the 3rd commandment, using God’s name in vain, I think we’ve got things a bit mixed up.

We tend to think of “g.d.” as meaning “curse God” when really it’s the other way around; “God-cursed.” In its worst use, “g.d.” is like saying “God forsaken” because the worst way to be cursed by God is to be sentenced to a state of being where He is not present.

But I think it’s safe to say that none of us are offended by hearing “God forsaken” even though it means the same thing as “g.d.”

Ironically, what isn’t really offensive anymore to hear on TV is when people say “Oh my God!” which seems to be the unofficial catch-phrase of the show,Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

(I’ve noticed that’s what people yell repeatedly when they enter their new house for the first time.)

To me, “Oh my God” is more offensive than “g.d.” because “Oh my God” is so careless; at least “g.d.” indirectly recognizes God’s sovereignty.

I use this example of “g.d.” to point out this: Obscenity is simply in the perception of the individual, or more relevantly, the majority.

So to answer the question of what would change if there was no censorship on TV, I’d say it would be this:

Many people would be less likely to watch TV, not having a guideline of what to expect.

The flip side is that TV networks would probably be even more conservative on what they allowed on their programs, without having official censors working for them to professionally protect them.

Censorship serves to protect TV networks from losing money, not to protect us from what we don’t want to see or hear.

Otherwise, we’d be more careful to censor the TV ourselves; which is why I don’t watch much on TV to begin with.

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My Kid Has Learned His Own Name And A Sense Of Identity

September 22, 2012 at 10:47 pm , by 

22 months.

In the midst of all the semi-organized chaos of watching your kid grow up, there are subtle changes that occur which can be pretty easy to miss.

Today it hit me: Jack has not only gained a neck, but he has also lost his double chin.

He has been a sturdy baked potatosince he was born. But now as my toddler’s baby fat is being chiseled away, the body of a little boy is beginning to emerge.

Even his Santa Claus belly is starting to disappear.

As my wife and I have recently been looking back at pictures of Jack from over a year ago, I noticed how he was more of a generic “baby blob.” He’s gone from a Muppet Baby to more of an actual Muppet.

Now we are experiencing the rebooted version of our kid. He still has the same personality and quirks of the 1 year-old version of himself, but is now more enhanced.

We are now seeing our son in high definition. It’s not just that he looks more like a real boy, but he acts more like one too.

This isn’t something I’ve really thought about until just now, but I’m seeing my son develop a sense of dignity; finding it through independence and an awareness of his own identity.

The kid is determined to learn to poop in the potty, without any subliminal motivation from his parents. He’s psychologically desiring to outgrow diapers, like a “big boy.”

At the same time, he doesn’t want us making all the trivial decisions for him anymore. Like, he wants to decide which shoes to wear.

Even while getting him ready for his noontime nap today, he made us aware he needed to wear his pajamas, not his regular clothes.

Jack officially knows his name is Jack now. Along with that is the fact is he is wanting to establish who Jack is, apart from every other toddler he knows.

After all, he did invent “Beans and Rice Juice.”

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My Son’s Delicious “Beans And Rice Juice” Recipe

September 21, 2012 at 11:20 pm , by 

22 months.

Jack’s “Beans and Rice Juice”

Ingredients: water, black beans, rice

Directions: Add one toddler-sized handful of black beans to a sippy cup full of water. Stir by hand. Next, add  one toddler-sized handful of rice. Again, stir by hand. Bottoms up!

I suppose the word “delicious” is a bit relative, especially when talking about my 22 month-old son’s sense of good taste.

Go ahead, don’t be shy. It’s okay to save these pictures on Pinterest to share in your “Recipes I Need To Try” folder.

The obvious irony in my son drinking this homebrew is that, like most toddlers, he won’t just eat anything.

In fact, he will only eat certain things.

Let’s see, there’s Annie’s Homegrown Classic Macaroni & Cheese, bananas, prunes, Cheerios, and of course, beans and rice.

As the home video below demonstrates, Jack very willingly drank his “Beans and Rice Juice.”

I loved how he felt the need to commit to drinking his new invention.

It reminds me of when my sister and I were kids in the late Eighties. Nearly every weekend, our Italian grandfather would take us and our parents out to a Southern steakhouse called Quincy’s, “home of the big fat yeast roll.”

When we were finished eating, we would get bored as we were waiting on the adults to finish.

So I would whip up a fancy concoction in my water glass, consisting of salt, pepper, ketchup, lemons, Worcestershire sauce, Heinz 57, A1, and any another free condiment I had easy access to.

“I’ll give you 5 Airheads if you drink a swallow of this,” I would tell my sister.

And she would.  Airheads candy was evidently a rare commodity for a 6 year-old girl.

But as far as my son drinking “Beans and Rice Juice,” there is no bribing being done here.

He’s just being a cool, weird, adventurous little boy.

 

 

 

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I Am The Human Resources Department Of My Household

September 20, 2012 at 11:12 pm , by 

22 months.

Like many Millennials, I grew up with this unrealistic belief that if I simply had a 4 year college degree, I would be all set.

Instead, I entered a work force where too many people, just like me, already had a college degree. So I wasn’t that special after all.

Now I’ve come to terms with the fact I need to become more special to actually be special.

Right now, we live in a 2 bedroom townhouse. Simply put, I’m not going to be in the right mindset to even think about planning to try to have another child in home with only 2 bedrooms.

I’m just now.

Also, the part of Nashville we live in wouldn’t put our son in the school district we would want him in.

Maybe what I’m saying right now sounds a bit on the superficial side, but I’m just being honest.

I don’t care about driving a nice car or living in a big house, but I recognize the socioeconomic pressures of parenthood prodding me to climb the corporate ladder.

This is me planning my way out of “townhouse life” into “small house with a small yard in a decent school district life.”

If I was still single, I just don’t know that I would be so inspired to try this hard to “move up” in the world.

But now I’ve got two people depending on me. That sort of makes me a bit more motivated.

I have had this re-occurring dream where it’s my final semester of college and I have just realized there was this one class I forgot about.

Then the terror sets in as I realize I won’t be able to graduate on time.

Whenever I have this dream, I wake up in relief, telling myself:

“That’s funny. You graduated college a long time ago. You don’t have to worry about classes anymore. Those days are long gone.”

With that being said, last night, in real life, I started taking a course at Lipscomb University.

I will be spending 3 hours every Wednesday night, through December, in a class that will be preparing me to become HR certified.

Then I still have to pay a couple hundred dollars and spend 3 hours taking the certification test, getting at least 70% of the questions right.

All to become an official HR guy.

Yeah, like Toby and Holly on The Office.

It was only a couple of months ago that I figured this out, but since graduating college, the field I have been working in has been Human Resources; not Sales as I thought. So I’ve decided to make something of it.

Turns out, HR is one of the (few) things in life I’m actually really good at.

It involves mediating between different departments, reading people, and knowing how to motivate them in order to bring productivity up- all that fun stuff.

I have a natural talent of playing the role of a middle child; the ultimate mediator.

Interestingly, most of the responsibilities of Human Resources seem to translate pretty well in to my role at home, especially as the dad:

Educating, training, empowering, and rewarding.

I’m always in the middle of stuff, trying to help everyone communicate better and always looking for new strategies and protocols to improve efficiency in the long run.

So whether in the office and in my home, I guess I’m pretty much the Human Resources department. But I’m cooler than Toby Flenderson.

 

Top image: Career, via Shutterstock.

Bottom image: Personnel manager writing, via Shutterstock.

 

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Planes, Trains and Automobiles… And Pooping

September 16, 2012 at 6:58 pm , by 

22 months.

If you ever fly into Nashville, you will see our house as you are landing; just look out the window, down on your left side.

Anytime I am outside with my son Jack on a walk, he looks up at the sky about every 15 minutes and proclaims, “Airplane. Airplane.”

So I guess for his sake, it’s pretty cool that we happen to live along the landing path of all planes heading to the Nashville airport.

Jack is also intrigued by trains, as I suspect most nearly 2 year-olds boys are. He can’t go anywhere without a Thomas the Train character in his hand.

Therefore, it’s no surprise that for his birthday (exactly 2 months from today) Jack will be a train conductor.

And when it comes to automobiles of any kind, Jack just can’t get enough. He even distinguishes between “big cars” and “baby cars,” whatever exactly that means.

Jack recently confirmed with us that for his first car when he turns 16, he wants a pick-up truck.

So in review, what is my toddler son into these days? Planes, trains, and automobiles.

Oh yeah, and pooping, too.

Last week during bath time as Jack was sprawled out in his Superman position, he looked up at my wife and said, “Butt? Butt.”

“Do you have to use the potty, Jack?” My wife propped him up on the toilet while embracing him.

He strained. He concentrated. But nothing happened.

Even still, he reached over, grabbed some toilet paper, and pretended to use it the right way.

I soon would learn that Jack has been observing another boy at his daycare, Troy, who is being potty trained in the 2 year-old class.

Pooping is not something that Jack is ashamed of. To him, it’s like learning to eat with a fork. It’s nothing special, it’s just the next part of growing up.

So every time Jack stops what he’s doing to say “poop?” or “butt?” we’re going to take him seriously.

We’ll take him straight to the potty and he’ll get a chance to go like a big boy.

One day when we least expect it, it will happen for real.

But it won’t be any big deal to Jack. The way he sees it, poop happens.