February 25, 2013 at 10:34 pm , by Nick Shell

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

Today I took a really late lunch from work so I could drive you to the nearby park, just down the street from your daycare and from where my office is.

It was 2:40 and you had just woken up from your nap, so I’m pretty sure you thought you might still be dreaming since I don’t regularly get the opportunity to see you during the workday.

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, you set your sights on your goal… the big boy slide.

The only way to get to that 7 foot tall slide was to go up the climbing wall.

I placed my hands around your waist, allowing you to reach for the grips and pull yourself up.

You instantly turned around to me and resisted: “I want to do it.”

I pulled my hands away where you could no longer feel them but where they were close enough in case you fell.

About three seconds passed… “I need help.”

That situation happens several times a day now. Whether it’s opening a fruit snack or putting on your shoes, you have to attempt to do it yourself first, then you’ll ask me to do it.

These days I just need to remember to assume you want to do everything yourself. I suppose it’s pretty much a waste of time for me to even try to help you, because I know what will happen:

“I want to do it… I need help.”

This is the stage where you are realizing you can actually do some stuff yourself. You don’t actually need me for everything anymore.

It’s like each situation is a new pickle jar to be opened.

I am your OnStar, your tech support, and your extra muscles.

Love,

Daddy

February 18, 2013 at 11:43 pm , by Nick Shell

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

You can speak; and I’m not referring to a selection of the most necessary phrases to get through life as a 2 year-old. I mean that Mommy and I can carry on an actual conversation with you and you understand what we are asking or telling you.

Yes, you can participate in legitimate conversations now. Granted, there are some limitations; some concepts are just too complex for you to make much sense of right now.

I’ve been telling you how, here lately, you’ve been really picky about which roles Mommy and I can do. As I mentioned, I am now your wardrobe assistant/technician, whereas that used to be Mommy’s job.

This past Saturday the three of us were so busy playing in your bedroom, swinging the shaggy bolster pillow at each other and pretending that your Thor play tent was a ship on the stormy sea, that a couple of hours passed before we realized your diaper was pretty wet.

So we asked you, “Jack, who do you want to change your diaper, Mommy or Daddy?”

Your instant response: “Jesus!” The look on your face was completely serious.

It caught me so off guard, I hesitated as I attempted to answer you:

“Well… uh… Jesus can watch… but it needs to be either Mommy or me who changes your diaper today.”

You stood your ground:

“I want Jesus! I want Jesus to change my diaper!”

Thinking back now, I can’t even remember whether it was Mommy or me who actually changed your diaper. I just know it’s a very bizarre thing to think about. I mean, how do I explain to you why Jesus can’t change your diaper?

That’s a tough one for a 2 year-old to process.

I started thinking about how Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine. Then I started seriously thinking about whether any of His unrecorded miracles included changing toddlers’ diapers. You really got me thinking, kid.

This is only the beginning. You are going to be saying some pretty hilarious things without trying, as you’re new to this “real conversation” concept.

I will be here to help you as you get lost in translation. I will try to help you, at least.

Love,

Daddy

February 16, 2013 at 8:27 pm , by Nick Shell

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

I recently explained to you how I now have to let Mommy drive while I sit in the backseat with you, to keep you from being anxious and needy, since Mommy is the nurturer and I’m the entertainer.

That’s one of those things I have to file in the “whatever works” category.

Or, to translate that into the language of Twitter:

#whateverworks

It goes without saying that as a parent, “whatever works” is a catchphrase that I seem to mumble on a daily basis.

In addition to having to change the seating arrangements for our family car rides, we have also had to change our morning routine.

Mommy arranged it with her boss to show up 15 minutes early for work and leave 15 minutes early, too.

This way, Mommy leaves the house 15 minutes before we do, because here recently you put up less of a fight if I’m the one who gets you ready.

It may have something to do with what I just mentioned a minute ago; that I am not the nurturer so you have lower expectations with me. So Mommy and I use that to our advantage.

Our new morning routine also allows more quality time with you and Mommy; the two of you share breakfast together while I shower and get ready.

Since making this our new norm, we no longer leave the house stressed or in a hurry. That’s all it took; we just couldn’t all three leave at the same time.

We are so focused on finding ways to improve quality time together as a family. Sometimes, we have recognized that by assigning certain daily activities to one particular parent, it can improve quality time for two of us at a time.

It’s sort of like working the “3rd wheel” concept to our advantage. Our model is this: Two wheels in the back and one in the front.

As a family, we often have to move and work like a tricycle.

Hey, whatever works.

Love,

Daddy