Storytelling

Leave a comment Posted on July 17, 2014 parenting, Storytelling

What It Means When Somebody Loves You

September 23, 2013 at 10:49 pm , by Nick Shell

Leave a comment Posted on July 17, 2014 parenting, Storytelling

I Just Wanted To Say, I’m Proud of You

September 19, 2013 at 11:11 pm , by Nick Shell

2 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

Every morning as we’re getting ready to leave the house, one of the last things I do is put on your shoes.

Today, though, I came back from brushing my teeth to see you smiling on the stairs, with your new Sketchers already on.

In theory, I may have made a bigger of a deal out of it that necessary, but I had never considered that you could put your shoes on yourself.

I’ve always done that for you… everyday since I can remember.

You loved the fact you surprised me with this new skill of yours.

Then, shortly after, you sang your ABC’s all the way through, without messing up. That’s the first time I’ve heard you do that so flawlessly.

I’m proud of you. I just want to say that.

To be clear, I don’t just simply mean publicly. Sure, I’m proud of you like that, too.

But what I am really getting at is, privately, without the world watching or aware, I am proud of you.

As in, you make me proud, as my son.

I was thinking about this morning all day. During my lunch break, I stopped by Target to try to find you a 97 cent FJ Cruiser or Hummer; two SUV’s you are currently obsessed with.

You have way too many Hot Wheels cars already, but I just wanted to express my feelings to you. Turns out, I found neither car at the store, but just know I was so impressed by you that I at least tried.

Letting you know I’m proud of you is something I always want to keep at the forefront of our relationship. It’s important to me that you always know how I feel about you.

If I end up saying it too much, so be it.

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on July 17, 2014 parenting, Storytelling

I Used To Care About “Being Right” In Parenting

September 19, 2013 at 10:04 pm , by Nick Shell

2 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

Recently Mommy and I started going to a new Sunday School class, which mainly consists of other parents with young kids.

One young wife, who is very pregnant with her first child, learned that I daily document my experiences of parenthood with you, here on The Dadabase.

She responded, laughing, “Oh, well I guess that means we will be coming to you for parenting advice!”

I laughed with her, but seconds later, thought to myself, “Actually, I don’t really give advice. I simply just write about each baby step as well as every major milestone that I observe as a parent. But I don’t actually give advice, day to day. Not really.”

It’s been a process, for me, though.

I remember a couple of years ago, when I talked about and endorsed the “cry it out method” on a weekly basis.

By default, the cry it out method was right for our family, but it obviously isn’t for everyone.

I think it used to sort of matter to me that in my mind, my way was right, and the other ways were wrong.

Another example was how I used to be, in essense, anti-attachment parenting.

These days, I don’t want be known for what I am against, but instead, for what I do believe in.

This moment might be me trying to process that concept.

It’s amazing how little “being right” matters to me anymore. Maybe it’s because I’ve learned that for the most part, “being right” is a relative thing.

Back in 2011, I cared more about trying to convince people of stuff.

Not anymore. These days I just narrate my life and let the free market of freethinkers take its course.

And so it shall go for all other future events in your life:

I will talk about what’s going on, covering which personal decisions and lifestyle choices I encounter as a parent, but I don’t think there is any part of me that cares about converting anybody anymore, to whatever viewpoint I have.

Yet still, I am very passionate about what I talk about; it’s just that I only really talk about what I am passionate about.

It’s actually funny to me now, considering I used to care about “being right” in parenting.

The way I see it now, is that I don’t give parenting advice, I just simply go through new phases in my life, consisting of both baby steps and major milestones. If my perspective and narration accidentally serves as advice, well… then I will consider myself accidentally honored.

Love,

Daddy