parenting

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting, Storytelling

Dad Gets Trapped In Parallel Universe With Son

November 27, 2012 at 12:30 am , by 

2 years.

Dear Jack,

Had you been born a girl, I know I would have loved you just as much. But instead, you’re a rough-housing, toy train-holding, spiky-haired little boy.

And I really like all that about you.

I daydream a lot about our future together and what all adventures we can tear into.

There’s a monster truck rally coming to town in a couple of weeks that I’d love to take you to…

Unfortunately, it doesn’t start until after your bedtime and I already know there’s no way that would go well.

But as soon as you’re old enough, I can’t wait to see your eyes light up in excitement as an unnecessarily large truck runs over 1980s Buicks. As for now, you like to watch clips of monster trucks on YouTube with me.

You also love to watch donkeys, buses, and “French trains.” I’m not sure why it’s important to you that the trains are French, but I type it in and clips pop up, so we watch them together.

On the day this picture was taken, I taught you to throw sticks in the water. You were obsessed with the new skill. The truth is, you were actually really good at it.

Just wait a few years and then I’ll teach you the impressive ability to skip rocks across the water.

See, I’m not sure those are the kinds of things girls really care about. But you, you get me.

At only 2 years old, you understand where I’m coming from. I really appreciate the fact that you’re okay with listening to Weezer on the 45 minute drive home from daycare as the two of us silently contemplate life.

We can be in our own little weird worlds, together. It’s like we’re trapped in some parallel universe, you and I, for the rest of our lives. Though we live among the rest of the world, even Mommy, we still speak a strange exclusive language between the two of us..

If only you knew how much I look forward to the two of us building f0rts, having snowball fights, practicing sports, having afternoon-long video game battles, and just simply going on long walks in different neighborhoods as we explore a new mediocre environment. Man, all those things are so important and crucial in understanding what life is really about.

The way you get me, I have a feeling I’ll get you too. I’m going to instantly understand you when others don’t even come close.

I’ve been where you are now. Granted, it was 1983. But hey, Smurfs are still cool, right?

Just know this: The way you think, the way you feel, the things you think are fun, chances are that I did and still do feel the same.

Maybe even now, I’m standing with one foot in 1983 and the other in present day. I’m transcending time and universes just to be close to you.

Pretty cosmic bond we have, huh?

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

Why Every Parent Should Know About The Skin Deep Cosmetics Database

November 25, 2012 at 12:14 am , by 

2 years.

Dear Jack,

By now, however old you are as you are reading this in the future, you have figured out that I have raised you differently than most of your friends. Sure, there’s the obvious vegetarian thing—but that’s only a fringe quirk of our family’s lifestyle.

What it ultimately comes down to is, you have a dad who has always questioned the social norm, even at the risk of looking like a weirdo with ulterior motives.

As I write this now, it is during a time in American culture where most people are not questioning “pink ribbon product promotions.”

Because we all personally know someone who has suffered from breast cancer, we want to do what we can to help the suffering, so we raise money and awareness.

However, we are not being told how much of that money actually goes to find a cure, nor are we told what our donations have actually accomplished so far.

Part of the reason we as a family are vegetarians is that, according to “The China Study” referred to in the documentary Forks Over Knives on Netflix, the activation of our bodies’ “cancer cells” is directly related to the level of dependency on animal proteins for nutrition, versus a dependency of plant-based foods.

A couple of years ago in my blogs I started pointing out that, ironically, the companies most likely to contribute a portion of their proceeds to find a cure for breast cancer, are often actually selling products that are likely to cause cancer in the first place…

Like junk food, fast food, cosmetics, and personal hygiene products.

I know we’re really strict on the amount of sugar we let you eat, but it’s because I’m so aware of the link between sugar consumption and auto-immune deficiencies. The reason I know this is because both you and I have psoriasis- one of the ways we keep it under control is by eliminating processed sugar (including fruit juice!) from our diets as much as possible.

So when I see cookies for sale with the pink ribbon on the package, I don’t know whether to laugh or to be disgusted. The foods that help fight cancer and auto-immune diseases, like fresh produce, have no reason to need to capitalize on pink ribbons to emotionally entice us to buy their highly processed product.

That’s because fresh fruits and veggies are actually part of the cure, not the disease. Needless to say, we now have a policy in our family that we deliberately don’t buy products with the pink ribbon on the package, as it signals to me that it is a processed food we are trying to avoid in our lifestyle.

This is something I decided to implement after watching a documentary on Netflix called Pink Ribbons Inc., which attempts to answer the questions I have been asking for years:

How much of America’s “pink ribbon” donations actually go to help find a cure for breast cancer? What has the research actually taught us since 1982? Which exact companies sell “pink ribbon” products that are linked to cancer?

I give Pink Ribbons, Inc. the credit for telling me about a really cool and important website called Skin Deep.

We can instantly search and find out, on a scale of 1 to 10, just how harmful and toxic our household personal products are to us. It shows a break-down of each secret ingredient and rates its link to cancer, developmental and reproductive toxicity, allergies, and immunotoxicity..

For example, my cologne scored a 9 (10 being the worst). Mommy’s nail polish scored a 7. Fortunately, your shampoo scored a zero.

Each search on Skin Deep automatically shows you safer alternatives with a zero rating, which is the best, that you can buy instead.

I know that at times our lifestyle seems a bit over-the-top and even unnecessary. But this is me doing my part to raise awareness about what cancer-linked ingredients are going into our bodies, as well as ingredients that promote auto-immune diseases.

Why were cancer and auto-immune disease rates so much lower a hundred years ago? One obvious reason is that we didn’t have as many mysterious chemicals going into our foods, personal hygiene products, and cosmetics.

So needless to say, tonight I threw away the hair pomade I’ve been using to spike your hair. It scored a 6 onSkin Deep. I’ll be going to Whole Foods Market this week to buy you some more that doesn’t include ingredients linked to cancer and allergies.

You know the reason I’m so obsessed about all this stuff is because I care about your well being, right? It’s not simply because I’m weird, I promise.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Dad Admits To Living Vicariously Through His Son

November 21, 2012 at 10:11 pm , by 

2 years old.

Dear Jack,

There’s this cliche about dads trying to live their lives vicariously through their sons.

As the dad thinks back on his own life, regarding things he wishes he could have done differently, he attempts to rewrite history by making sure his son does those things he was never able or willing to.

Well, that’s what I’m doing with you.

But not in the token way where I force you to play sports or try to make you become a doctor or lawyer.

The way I am doing it is much more simple, yet epic.

What I am attempting to do is to make you a braver and more daring little boy than I was.

I remember crying a lot as a little boy because I was afraid to try or do anything new.

Back in Halloween 1986, there was this church party where one of the dads put together this 12 foot long tunnel cave out of refrigerator boxes.

I only made it through about four feet of that tunnel before I turned around. That decision symbolized a lot of the remainder of my childhood.

It was probably 4th grade before I began developing a true sense of confidence in who I was, and therefore, my ability to overcome my fears of taking on scary challenges.

However, I don’t think you’ll be the timid little boy I remember being. With just a little prodding, I am able to get you to choose to overcome your anxieties.

Fast forward from Halloween 1986 to Halloween 2012. A few weeks ago, when we were in Sacramento visiting Mommy’s side of the family, your cousin Savannah wanted to play with you in the “jumpy house.”

You had always been afraid of jumpy houses. I basically forced you into the jumpy house, then Savannah took over from there.

The truth is, you barely hesitated once you got inside. Then you you couldn’t get enough.

I was only able to eventually pry you away because it was time to eat cake.

Sure, I sort of forced you to overcome your fear. But ultimately, it was your decision. Had you cried and thrown a tantrum, I would have given up.

Instead, you gave it a shot.

You’re a brave little boy.

I never made it through that refrigerator box tunnel in the church basement. It still bothers me to this day.

Son, I admire your will and your courage at such a young age.

So while I may live vicariously through you sometimes as I try to get you to do things I would have been too afraid to when I was your age, you don’t really need my influence too much.

Sure, my gentle push helps. But you’re brave and curious enough on your own.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

3 Simple Rules For Planning A 2-Year-Old’s Birthday Party

November 20, 2012 at 10:22 pm , by 

2 years.

Dear Jack,

There’s a decent chance you will begin actually remembering certain events now. I say that because my own 2nd birthday party in April 1983 is the very first memory of my own life.

I remember my Italian grandfather holding me in his lap as everyone around the table sang “Happy Birthday” to me. It was somehow overwhelmingly sad, so I cried until it was time to open presents.

It is from that experience that I planned your 2nd birthday party. I wanted to make sure that you would have a fun, memorable party for you, your friends, and our family.

So I implemented 3 simple rules for planning your 2nd birthday party:

1. Find the right-sized location for the amount of people invited.

We invited about 30 people and they all showed up. (Yes, Jack, you’re that cool of a kid!)

Fortunately, our church had a mini basketball court for you and your friends to chase each other around in. My top priority was making sure you didn’t get antsy.

I also wanted to make sure you didn’t get overwhelmed by the amount of people there. With a location that open, you never felt closed in or crowded. That kept you happy.

2. Downplay the eating and singing part.

I think the real reason I got scared and starting crying at my own 2nd birthday party was because I couldn’t understand why so many people surrounded me and were singing a song I didn’t know. It freaked me out.

So as non-traditional as it was, I made sure we purposely didn’t sing “Happy Birthday” once it was cake time.

We didn’t even have you blow out candles in front of everyone. We just let you enjoy your cake while we served the guests.

Actually, you were more excited about sampling the Teddy Grahams, Animal Crackers, and Angry Birds crackers.

You were actually quite proud of them; as you see in this picture I took of you.

3. Speed up the gift-opening.

When it came time for you to open your gifts, your Mommy was equipped to jot down who gave you what. Then as I quickly read the cards to everyone, you opened your gifts.

I wanted to prevent stop-and-go action, ensuring a continuous flow instead.

That gave your guests time to see you actually react to and play with your new gifts beyond your initial reaction of opening them, because you didn’t necessarily know what everything was at first.

So that’s it. I’m not sure you actually will remember any of it, but in an attempt to help jog your memory, I conveniently saved the pictures from your 2nd birthday party for you on this link to The Dadabase Facebook page.

You didn’t cry at your 2nd birthday party like I did 29 years ago. Good job, son.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Dad Breaks News To 2-Year-Old Son: “You Won’t Be Tall Enough For The NBA”

November 19, 2012 at 9:58 pm , by 

2 years old.

Dear Jack,

Son, I have to break the news to you: You won’t be tall enough play in the NBA.

But while a career in professional basketball may not be in the cards for you, I know you’ll still have a lot of fun playing on your Little Tikes basketball goal you got last weekend for your 2nd birthday.

So here’s what we’re looking at: I think you’re going to be around 5′ 8″ or maybe 5′ 9″ by the time you’re done growing up.

We measured you on your 2nd birthday (several times just to be sure) and took several pictures to make it official.

When I see these pictures I laugh because the look on your face makes it seem like it’s your mugshot. A 2 year-old getting a mugshot; that’s funny.

Especially the one where you have dried spaghetti sauce on your face because I made you line up for the picture immediately after dinner, before I would let you play with your toys.

The theory is that, despite growth spurts and growth lags, proportionately on your 2nd birthday you’re half of your adult height.

It worked both for me and my sister, so I know it to be true in my own life.

On your 2nd birthday, you were about 34 inches tall. Doubling that means you will grow to near 5′ 8″.

So basically, you’ll be about as tall as me, which is about 5′ 9″. That sounds about right, because hardly anyone on either side of our family is over 5′ 11″. Mommy’s daddy was that height too.

You won’t be tall, nor will you be particularly short.

You’ll be as about tall as Ben Stiller and Robin Williams.

What’s funny is that your Mommy and I thought you were going to be like 6′ 3″ and 200 pounds. You were born big.

And up until recently, you were a big kid. People thought you were a year older than you were.

But by the time you reached your 2nd birthday, you started to become proportionally more like me: A smaller framed, yet averaged sized male.

During high school, you’ll probably wish you could be a little bit taller as some of your friends shoot up to over 6 feet tall. I remember feeling that way around 11th grade.

Eventually though, you’ll begin to appreciate your completely normal and average size.

I guess it’s pretty unusual knowing so early in your life how tall you’ll grow to be.

There’s really no wondering for you on this. Jack, you’re destined to be physically average sized. Just like me.

But I promise you: You are no average boy.

You are my son. I am pouring my into life into you. I will make sure you turn out to be no average kid.

I already know you’re destined to challenge the system, to be strong in your opinions, and to take pride in the things that make you different.

So with that being said, I don’t think you can be an average boy. Well, maybe in height, but that’s it.

 

Love,

Daddy