Nostalgia

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The Millionaire Mindset of Generation X/Y Parents

June 25, 2011 at 9:10 pm , by 

Seven months.

My wife and I have a catch phrase in our house: “millionaire mindset.” Whether we are discussing an unnecessary purchase or are patting ourselves on the back for money we cleverly saved somehow, we speak our code word to each other.

It’s our way of reminding ourselves that in order to be successful with what we have been given and blessed with, we have to think with the mindset of a frugal millionaire who worked hard for his fortune.  It’s not that we are trying to become millionaires, but it sure won’t hurt if we are wise in our spending; and more importantly in our savings.

So we are not ashamed to use store brand products, to buy used stuff for our son off of Amazon.com or Ebay, and to make our own baby food for him.  We keep in mind that while name brand products tend to impress people, they are counter-productive when it comes to financially prospering in the long run. Having a child makes you reconsider your spending habits as well as your saving habits. After all, our son starts college in less than 18 years from now!

There was a time when bigger and flashier was better, when it seemed most people refused to buy store brand products; right down to their hand soap and kitchen table condiments (like it matters that your bottle of mustard says “Kroger” instead of “Hunt’s”.)

I think it’s safe to say that the modern cultural movement is now towards simplicity.  We, as a nation, are learning the meaning of “living within our means” and not consuming more than we actually need; that credit cards are the devil and that frequenting all-you-can-eat buffets are an invitation to onset Diabetes.

We get it now that money isn’t everything- and more importantly, that it in theory it’s a waste of time to spend our entire lives chasing more money, only to find that by the time we retire there may be nothing left for our own social security.  Money is simply a necessary evil, as far as I’m concerned.

My wife has said several times since we’ve been married, “I could never be a millionaire because I wouldn’t know what to do with the money- I would end up giving it all away.” Exactly. Because no one person can legitimately spend anywhere near a million dollars within a reasonable amount of time, without giving a good portion of it away.  Sure, it can be invested, but ultimately, it’s a matter of asking what the end goal is in investing that money.  I personally just don’t see much of a point in investing in a bigger lifestyle only to encounter more overhead.

Who knows, though?  Maybe all it would take is a million dollars to prove me wrong.  I doubt it though.  I prefer a laid-back, low maintenance lifestyle.  I don’t like extra noise even if I’m wearing the most expensive ear plugs.

I’m sure part of the reason my wife and I have this generational mindset is because we were both born in 1981; the crossroads between Generation X and Generation Y.  We were told our whole lives that money isn’t everything, but being happy is.  So we believed it.  And I guess we always will.

Free buzz cut courtesy of my wife… priceless.

buzz cut

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Jack’s New Cousin has Arrived!

June 23, 2011 at 11:01 pm , by 

Seven months.

A new character joined the cast of The Dadabase this week…

I’ve been mentioning that my sister, Dana, and her husband, Andrew, have been expecting their first child: due July 2nd.  Well, July 2nd came early this year… because at 2:07 AM this Tuesday morning (June 21st), my sister gave birth to her baby girl.  She weighs 6.1 pounds and is 19.5 inches long.

Jack has always been a big boy and he’s all I know when it comes to babies.  After seeing and holding my sister’s newborn daughter, it is apparent she will always be a petite little girl.  How appropriate- she will have a strong, protective cousin to watch out for her; even if the two cousins never really look anything alike.

On my side of the family, the only cousins Jack will have are through my sister and her husband, since I don’t have another sibling.  (Of course, this is not the case with my wife’s side of the family, since she is number 9 of 10 kids!) So this is Jack’s first cousin through the Shell side of the family and this means I am officially an uncle, through blood.

For the past seven months, my brother-in-law Andrew has filled the typical uncle role.  He knows how to make Jack laugh better than anyone else. He’s the fun uncle.  Now, I get to be a fun(ny) uncle to his daughter.

Have you noticed yet that I haven’t given the name of Jack’s new cousin?  If not, that means I’m doing a good job of my goal.  Whereas I plaster Jack’s name all over every post I write and have no reservations in making it public, I respect my sister and her husband’s decision to keep their daughter’s name semi-private; meaning I don’t include it on The Dadabase.

It makes me wonder, though, in the likeness of the name “Emma” gaining popularity because of the sitcom Friends, if the name would at all increase in popularity if it was featured in a Parents.com blog.  Because right now the name is virtually unused- the last time it even made an appearance on any kind of popularity chart was the 1880’s.

“Emma” was the 13th most popular girl’s name in 2001.  Then the following year Rachel named her daughter Emma on Friends.  Unsurprisingly, Emma was the 4th most popular girl’s name of 2002.  And every year since then, it has either been the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd most popular girl’s name.

Well I know I can pull this off.  I can feature Jack’s new cousin in my stories without ever saying her name or even using her initials.  It wasn’t until I had seen the movie Fight Club about a dozen times before I realized that you never actually know the narrator and main character’s name.

So this won’t be the first time a story is told without revealing a main character’s name.  What actually matters are the stories.  And for a guy who never suffers from writer’s block, I know I can provide the stories.

Unnecessary Bonus:

To cut down on reader confusion in regards to the resemblance that my brother-in-law Andrew (featured two pictures above this one) and I share,  I shaved my head this week. People are constantly mistaking us for each other.  So I hope the buzz cut helps.

That’s not really why I did it.  I mainly just liked the idea of saving 15 bucks instead of paying for a real haircut.  Plus, I probably subconsciously wanted to be as cool as Bachelorette contestant J.P. Rosenbaum.

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The Magically Entertaining Wooden Spoon and Other “Toys”

Seven months.

Luv's diapers

What interesting “toys” does your baby get to play with?

By now it’s nearly cliché to point out the irony in a kid getting more enjoyment out of the cardboard box that a toy is packaged in rather than the actual toy itself. So I won’t. But similarly, I will point out a few other seemingly mundane household items that currently serve as Jack’s greatest form of entertainment.

baby and air vent

His biggest fascination is with air vents; whether or not air is actually coming out of them.  I suppose that to him, he gets a thrill out of the anxiety of wondering at which exact moment the cold air will suddenly begin blowing on his face and through his hair.  Jack hovers over and around the air vent like it’s some magical wishing well, about to grant him his wish of an instant set of teeth in which he could use to eat veggie pizza with his parents.  Or at least a masculine unicorn to ride on.

The Dadabase

But for the times that Jack prefers a more hands-on experience, there is the amazing wooden spoon!  Thanks to my wife’s creative thinking, Jack now has a wondrous multipurpose toy that can be used for the following:

1) Jack can use to the handle to repeatedly ram his leg, while joyously smiling.

2) Jack can use the head of the spoon to repeatedly hit himself in the forehead, again, while joyously smiling.

3) Jack can pretend the wooden spoon is a Popsicle, tasting its delicious wooden flavor.

4) Jack can practice his self-invented stunt of attempting to crawl while carrying the spoon in one hand.

5) Jack can wave the wooden spoon around in the air like he’s conducting a choir of enchanted kittens.

crawling baby

Should Jack ever tire of the wooden spoon, there is always the back-up plan.  Yes, the paper towel roll.  While Jack can basically use it in the same ways he uses the spoon, he can additionally become mesmerized by watching me put the paper towel roll to my mouth to make weird falsetto humming noises through it; like a giant kazoo.  It works similar to the way Indian men charm snakes.

I am a certified baby charmer.

And fortunately, Jack is like a cat in that he can entertain himself with nearly any random household object.  The question is, who is more entertained by the magical wooden spoon and its other glorious counterparts?  My infant son for finding entertainment value in it,  or me for finding entertainment value in watching him find entertainment value in it?

The Dadabase

The Dadabase

P.S. As I post this, my sister is in labor with her first child.  Jack’s about to get a new cousin!  And I’m about to be an uncle for the first time, through blood.

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We’re Our Own Paparazzi and TMZ Show

June 19, 2011 at 9:17 pm , by 

Seven months.

The Dadabase

Anywhere we go with our son, my wife and I also take our four year old digital camera.  Between the two of us, we always have to be prepared to take a shot of Jack doing something for the first time.  Or we have to provide proof of just how cool he looks in that moment.

As I was recently making creepy lizard faces at my son to make him laugh, I shared with my wife the realization that Jack won’t actually remember any of this.He won’t remember me pushing him around in a diaper box.  Or my wife pretending to be a chicken.  It hit me that all our crazy antics we do to entertain our son end up amusing the two of us just as much as they do him- but only we will actually remember it the next day.

Jack in the Box

My sister’s memory began when she was one and a half years old (in 1985) and mine began in 1983 (on my 2nd birthday.)  Based on what I learned in Childhood Psychology in college, my sister and I are the exception to the rule to have a memory that began “recording” that early.  But even when Jack’s long-term memory does kick in, there will only be random memories that stay with him for life.

But I guess that’s the way our entire lives are: We only remember certain memories, frozen in the nostalgic part on our brains, sometimes disguising themselves as dreams from childhood.

If you are the only person to remember an event happening years after it occurs, you hold the exclusive rights to it occurring. In theory, it only happened because you remember it.  If you ever forget it, then it’s technically the same as it if it never happened, especially if no one else was there to notice the event happening: Especially ifthere were no photographs or videos taken of the event.

As one of the main photographers and the official journalist (daddy blogger) of Jack’s early years, I am preserving these otherwise forgotten details.  These stories won’t just be simply contained in the memories of my wife and I, but they will be waiting for Jack to learn about when he gets older.

Parents magazine

In the title I proclaimed that my wife and I are our son’s own paparazzi and TMZ show.  But that concept is a universal one; it doesn’t just apply to us because I publicly journal my son’s life in a blog on Parents.com.

In an age where Facebook photo albums have replaced actual photo albums like our parents had to put together for us, chances are if you are tech savvy enough to be reading a parenting blog, you can relate to the allusions to being your own paparazzi and TMZ show for your kids and family.

funny baby

P.S. This is my 100th post here on The Dadabase!  You can start from the beginning or catch up on anything you missed in between: Just click on the archives on the right side of the screen.  They go all the way back to when we first found out we were having a baby.

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I Am Worth Following, According to My Son

June 16, 2011 at 9:14 pm , by 

Seven months.

In the age of Facebook and Twitter, I never have to tell my son to “like” me or “follow me.”

Since learning to crawl, Jack uses every opportunity to make use of his newly acquired skill.  He’s like an SUV in human baby form. If my wife or I are sitting down on the floor with him as he is playing, he will make an effort to go out of his way to purposely crawl over our legs- if nothing else, to prove to himself he can handle it.

He obviously is always up for a new challenge.  Tossing the TV remote controller a few feet away from him is no longer an inspiring incentive.  Crossing the room is no longer that big of a deal to him anymore.  Instead, Jack’s newest self-induced challenge is to crawl from one side of the house to the other.  But not for an electronic device or the newest, coolest toy he could imagine.

Instead, I am his motivation.

When I come home from work every day, after greeting him and my wife, I typically go two rooms away to brush my teeth (I’m sort of obsessed with personal hygiene) and change into some more comfortable clothes and a hat.  By the time I’m done, I look up, and there he is:

So proud of himself that he journeyed the baby equivalent of the length of a basketball court to get to me.  And of course, I’m always so proud of him.  The best part is the big toothless smile on his face every time.  It’s always a highlight each time he does it.

Sometimes when he follows me across the house, he doesn’t stop crawling until he runs into my ankles.  And then he just stays there with his forehead leaning against my leg and his cold, clammy hands on my toes.  Other times, he will squeeze through between my ankles, offering up an obligatory grunt as if it’s a tight fit for him.

Honestly, when he follows me around the house, Jack reminds me of a little puppy or a kitten; who can’t talk, but who can show his affection and admiration by his gravitation towards me.  And yeah, that makes me feel pretty dang cool.

So while it’s always cool to realize I’ve gained a few more Twitter followers or a handful of “likes” for that day’s Dadabase post, nothing can compare to a little blond haired baby boy who thinks I’m the Shazbot.

He “likes” me the most and is one persistent “follower.”  And I just never want to let the little fella down.

As you may have noticed at the very top of the post, it no longer says “Six months.”  That’s because today, Jack is officially 7 months old!