Nostalgia

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5 Reasons This Dad Despises New Year’s Resolutions

December 3, 2011 at 10:28 pm , by 

One year.

Today I’m assuming the role of a motivational speaker. So imagine yourself at some big pretentious conference out in Seattle, having just enjoyed a ham sandwich boxed lunch (it was included in the price).

I’m not so sure why I approved pork for lunch when I myself am kosher, but let’s move past that little glitch in our mutually shared daydream.

Equipped with laser pointer in hand and appropriately slicked back hair, I run up on stage while Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” blares on the Peavey speakers, after some other guy you’ve never heard of has just introduced me to the audience to make me seem more important and famous than I am.

Here are the notes I would be speaking from, regarding the topic, Five Reasons This Dad Despises New Year’s Resolutions:

1. New Year’s Resolutions promote procrastination. If it’s really that important to you, you would make your life change today, right now; whether it’s to start exercising and eating right, to stop smoking or cursing, or to start going to church. If this proposed life change were so darn important, it wouldn’t be able to wait until January.

2. They’re simply ineffective. I have never met anyone in my entire life who has ever made a big life change because of a New Year’s Resolution. They are a quirky American tradition that hold no traditionally proven outcome.

3. They direct your focus on conforming along with the world’s agenda, not your own. Why decide to make a major change based on a calendar date that someone else chose for you? After all, this is a personal issue; so treat it like one.

4. They set you up for failure. Given the horrible track record of New Year’s Resolutions, along with the likelihood that you’ve already attempted this feat before in previous years, why reinforce the idea that this life change of yours really is too hard, based on failed attempts before. In other words, change the date from January 1st to today.

5. New Year’s Resolutions have simply become a joke. Throughout the next couple of weeks as you hear coworkers and friends ask each other, “So what’s on your list of resolutions for 2012?” notice the underlying tone that seems to say: It’s not like it matters anyway. And we secretly know this.

As a dad, it’s crucial for me to be the example. I’m obsessed with keeping my word and following through with my decisions. I want my son to always know that despite my long list of imperfections and downfalls, when I said I was going to do something (or not do it) that my actions would immediately and permanently speak louder than words.

Image (top): 2012 Goals via Shutterstock.

Unexpected Bonus!

Maybe your intended New Year’s Resolution was going to be to get your kids to read more. In that case, you can win a free book right now called Mary’s Son: A Tale of Christmas. The book, which is the winner of three Mom’s Choice awards, is a modern-day story in which a mysterious old man named Nicholas shares the true meaning of Christmas with two young people.

 

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7 Tips for Planning a 1 Year-Old’s Birthday Party

December 2, 2011 at 6:51 pm , by 

One year.

Your child’s first birthday party is coming up. Don’t freak out- I’m here to help. Just follow these 7 easy steps and your child’s birthday will be a piece of cake! (Insert laugh tracks here.)

1) Have a theme that somehow symbolizes your child’s personality. Because our son Jack regularly speaks in a foreign robotic-sounding language and has walking skills that have just been recently programmed, we decided to go with a robot theme. My wife renamed the snacks accordingly: “computer chips” for corn chips with salsa, “nuts and bolts” for Chex mix, and “spare parts” for veggies.

2. Do it after lunch time. Jack’s party was from 2PM to 4PM on a Saturday. The light snacks and heavy desserts served as a great follow-up to whatever everyone had for lunch. Also, that time slot assured that Jack would not be in need of a nap.

3. Invite the very most supportive people. If it were up to me, I would have invited all of the readers of The Dadabase into my home. But we had to draw the line somewhere; which for us, were the people who came to visit us when we moved to Alabama. (We since moved back to Nashville.) This ended up making the total number of people around 18, but thanks to Jack being such an outgoing baby, he didn’t get overwhelmed by everyone.

4. Let the birthday kid be the entertainment. At Jack’s party, there were no games. Instead, our son simply was the show. Especially for the fact he had just begun walking a few weeks prior, it was cool to watch him play with all his random toys. This kept a good vibe going from the very beginning; which naturally helped people to start conversations with each other, since many of them had never met before.

5. Have other people take pictures for you. Three of my guests had better cameras and picture-taking skills than me. So I didn’t have to sacrifice my hosting duties due to the need to visually document the whole shebang.

6. Serve cupcakes instead of a traditional birthday cake. I didn’t want my wife to bother with making some perfect cake for everyone. So since we knew Jack loves anything with bananas, everyone got a banana (or chocolate) cupcake along with some premium ice cream from Publix. It was more fun and original with cupcakes.

7. Open the presents quickly. Don’t wait for picture op’s or for your kid to completely unwrap each gift. I started a tear in each gift and let Jack pull it along a tad, then I instantly finished the job. This way, everyone had more time to actually watch Jack play with their gift, instead of drawing the whole process out.

I have to say: Jack’s first birthday party really was a breeze. We kept it simple and organized; and therefore very stress-free. Not to mention, we had Jack Johnson playing in the background.

Well, would you like to see some pictures from Jack’s party? Our friends Jeremy and Cheryl Crawford, who are expecting their first child literally any minute now, took these for us.

Travel now to The Dadabase Facebook wall to further this adventure, where you will find the photo album, “Jack’s 1st Birthday Party.”

Here’s the invitation design we bought off Etsy from “BusyBeeDesign1.”

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Send Me Your Family’s Holiday Cards for My Fridge

November 21, 2011 at 6:58 pm , by 

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How Not to Be “That Mom” or “That Dad”

November 20, 2011 at 7:39 pm , by 

One year.

There are basically two ways to be “that parent.” You can be over-involved in your child’s life; actually encouraging separation anxiety for them by drawing out goodbye’s by petting them and crying with them whenever you leave them at daycare.

Or you can be under-involved; letting your child run free in the grocery story, occasionally tossing them empty threats of “time out” when you get home.

Neither extreme is good. That’s why we normal parents do our darndest not to be “that mom” or “that dad.”

But this gets complicated because it’s no secret what a challenge it is to balance our parenting expectations with practical reality. It seems that to some degree, we all are “that parent.”

It’s necessary that I turn the question to myself: How am I “that dad?”

I am weird because I won’t let my son watch TV until he’s at least two years old. Plus, I am really strict about what he eats: No processed foods- that means no fruit juice.

Oh yes, what a cruel, demented, over-the-top man I am to keep my child from things I had when I was his age back in 1982. But I’m not going to change; I’m always going to be kooky like that.

So I guess I fall into the category of “over-involved.” Some of my critics could probably say that I am ironically depriving my child in a subconscious effort to declare my authority as an active and effective father.

Maybe I am. Because I don’t want to be “that dad.” I mean, the other kind of “that dad.” The kind I’m not. Or at least the kind I think I’m not.

As long as other parents are critiquing my parenting style, which they always will, I will always be “that dad.” I would say that I don’t care what other people think of me anyway, but I have observed that people who usually say that actually really, really care what people think of them.

It’s like a 14 year-old girl who says, “I’m so over him now.” No, no you’re not. If you were, you wouldn’t have to go around saying that to your friends, who are all wearing black Breaking Dawn t-shirts.

So in conclusion, I believe no matter what you do, you are “that mom” or “that dad” to the very parents who you yourself perceive as “that mom” or “that dad.” Get it?

In other words, the title of this post is misleading. There is no way to refrain from being “that parent.” You already are.

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Jack and Sophie: Baby Buddies in Crime

November 17, 2011 at 9:44 pm , by 

One year.

Jack is currently the only boy in his age/stage group at KinderCare. Since this recently became the case, I have noticed a new dynamic between him and his classmate, Sophie Culpepper. (What a cool name, right?)

Don’t get ahead of me here. This is not a post about Jack’s first daycare crush. We’re not there yet.

It’s becoming the norm now that when I drop off Jack in the morning, he will stand up next to the toy sink, and Sophie will walk up to him. Standing just inches away from his face, she stares at him as if to say, “Good, you’re here now. Entertain me.”

His sigh and blank stare back at her seem to translate: “Hey, I just got here. Give me a minute to see what kind of trouble we can get into today.”

Their “partners-in-crime” relationship is especially funny because of how much they look alike. I instantly think of the cartoon show, Rugrats, where the only obvious difference between Phil and Lil is a hair bow and a dress. In other words, it’s like they are twin brother and sister, who if they were the same gender, would be identical twins.

It somehow helps their buddy status that both Jack and Sophie are currently two of the most popular American names for babies. In 2010, the year they were both born, Sophie (Sophia) was the #1 most popular girl name and Jack was the 13th most popular for boys; for what it’s worth, Jackson/Jaxon was #3.

According their current KinderCare teacher, Ty, the two of them follow each other around and often want whatever toy the other is currently playing with.

So when they’re not making messes together by scattering the neatly placed toys all over the floor, which I’ve been informed they do on a daily basis, they have this assumed sibling rivalry going on.

I love it that at only a year old, Jack is getting a good idea of what it’s like to have to share with someone who is similar in age and personality. Sophie, who was born just a month after him, is his perfect match.

Jill (my wife, in case you’re new to The Dadabase) and I are especially smitten by Sophie. She usually walks up to us to get a hug whenever she sees us. As you can see from the pictures, she is an adorable little girl.

I knew she was officially cool when she started staring at me one day and I responded by making my scary Freddy Krueger face at her: Just like Jack, she instantly laughed. That’s when she won my heart.