My Toddler Son: The Would-be Nudist

My Toddler’s Amazing (?) New Magic Tricks

April 16, 2012 at 9:53 pm , by 

17 months.

After learning the phrase “ta-da!” from my wife recently, Jack has officially become the best magician since Ed Alonzo playing “Max,” the occasional owner of the same-named hip hang-out spot on Saved By The Bell.

Yes, everything’s a magic trick now.

When Jack stands on top of a pillow without falling over… Ta-da!

When he pulls a blanket over his head, waits five seconds, then pulls it off… Ta-da!

When he pulls two fake Lego blocks apart… Ta-da! 

Heck, when Jack simply pulls his fake Lego blocks out out their storage bag… Ta-da!

Even better, his pronounced version of the word sounds more like “tahhhh!”

As winner of the Father of the Year Award in both 2010 and 2011, I wish I could say I didn’t immediately laugh out loud in his face when he proclaims his newest magic trick. But I do. Every time.

Fortunately, he assumes I’m cheering for him through my laughter, followed by my applause. I figure what this really is about is him wanting my approval and acknowledgment of his newly learned skills. Sure enough, he gets that with every “ta-da!” moment.

Right now Jack is proving to be such a sponge for learning new things. That’s why his current favorite toys are actually books.

With every new animal sound he makes when he sees a picture of one, I truly am impressed.

He’s also the only baby I know that actually asks for prunes during dinner. If you ask me, that’s truly his most impressive magic trick so far.

 

Decent Family Pictures With My Toddler Are Rare

Cleaning Up Your Kid’s Vomit: A Parent’s Rite Of Passage

April 10, 2012 at 11:43 pm , by 

16 months.

It’s hard to believe that my kid is nearly a year and a half and he just now threw up for the first time. That’s pretty weird, right?

Granted, when he was an infant, he would spit up a little milk occasionally. But in general, he would drool more than he ever spit up.

But last Thursday, during a night we really needed some extra sleep because of the drive the next night to Alabama for Easter, we heard a sudden cough, then a [splat!] from the other bedroom.

Fortunately, my son was cool about it. He only puked directly on his blanket in his crib; then directly into the bathtub.

He didn’t vomit on me, nor my wife; at least not directly. And man, the carpet in his room was all clear too. Such a considerate 16 month-old I have.

Just to make sure we knew what we were doing, he waited about 10 minutes after we got him all cleaned up and back to bed before he did the exact same thing again.

Oh yeah, and I didn’t mention: It was all spaghetti.

There’s something about cleaning up the vomited version of a food that causes you to never see it the same way again.

I say that, yet this morning my wife asked me:

“For lunch today, do you want to take the rest of this spaghetti- the kind that Jack got sick from?”

The answer was yes. That was indeed what I ate for lunch today; only I didn’t get sick.

I am Dad; the janitor and the human garbage disposal.

Yo Gabba Gabba! May Induce Hypnotism, Evidently

April 10, 2012 at 10:16 pm , by 

16 months.

Though I am intentionally keeping Jack from regularly watching TV until he turns two years-old, because I believe in the theorythat it is linked to Autism, I really really look forward to the day that he and I can watch some cool shows together. Just about a half a year from now…

So I’m currently in the process of scouting out shows for he and I to enjoy together, as a I scroll through the children’s section of Netflix’s instant streaming on my Wii.

My favorite so far is Yo Gabba Gabba! It is surreal, extremely repetitive, and saturated in techno music. While watching this show, I make it a personal goal of mine not to get hypnotized by DJ Lance Rock and friends.

As for my only niece on my side of the family, she wasn’t as successful to resist as I have been.

While spending Easter weekend in Alabama with my family, I told my sister she had to watch to first episode ofYo Gabba Gabba!

Her husband watched Jack play on the living room floor as I held their daughter Calla in my lap, who was curious to catch a glimpse of the show.

Calla has a reputation for not easily taking naps during the day. From what I’ve observed, she has to be held and rocked to fall asleep.

So it was very strange for my sister to watch this happen:

She ended up sleeping in this awkward face-down position for about 20 minutes. I wish I could give Yo Gabba Gabba! all the credit, but I should take some for myself. I’m thinking that my “manly musk” is part of the comfort in helping my niece enter Slumber Land.

I naturally smell like an enchanted forest. Sort of like the one featured on Yo Gabba Gabba!