Family Friendly Review Of Monster Jam 2014 In Huntsville, AL

Photobombed By My Own Kid

February 8, 2014 at 11:31 pm , by 

3 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

Look at this picture… You totally photobombed me!

“Photobombing is the act of inserting oneself into the field of view of a photograph, often in order to play a practical joke on the photographer or the subjects.” –Wikipedia

I am pretty sure you were being sneaky; totally knowing what you were doing.

Here lately, I have been posting pictures of our “plant-based meals” on Facebook, as my way of showing the outside world what we eat.

Because, hey, I was always curious what vegans ate before I came one.

It’s by no means intended as a way to “convert” anyone to my lifestyle. I do it more as a way for people who are already curious and open-minded to learn more.

I’ve had several Facebook friends tell me that they enjoy and appreciate the insight I give them on this kind of stuff. That’s who it’s intended for.

Granted, I do this also expecting some funny comments from any Facebook friends who might be… how should I put it?…

Skeptics.

Like when I posted a picture which half-jokingly referred to myself as a “lentil and potatoes” kind of guy. (As opposed to a “meat and potatoes” kind of guy.)

I actually consider it bonus points when I can get friends and family to say “GROSS!” or say something like, “That looks good, but sure would be better with some bacon!”

I get it that our family eats from a different menu than the mainsteam, but instead of keeping quiet about it as to not offend those who are not curious, I like to sort of memethe situation.

In a way, my goal is to invite the skeptics to laugh with me (about my seemingly obscure food choices); as I try not to appear like I’m wanting to impose my beliefs on the mainstream.

Because, again, in reality, it’s the curious minority of society who I actually am trying to reach, not the majority.

So somehow the supreme irony in all this is that you, my son, have actually photobombed my Internet meme!

I ended up not even using that picture for my “project” after I realized what you did.

Actually, I can’t look at you smiling so proudly in that picture without laughing quietly to myself.

Good job, Son. Well done.

That’s okay…

I got even with you by making a captioned photo of yourchocolate almond milkmustache.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

 

 

 

 

 

No-Bake Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Balls… Jealous Much?

February 7, 2014 at 9:56 pm , by 

3 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

I think I might be over cakes, cupcakes, and cookies, now that Mommy has introduced our family to “no-bake vegan chocolate chip cookie dough balls.”

She found them on a website called, Gluten-Free-Vegan-Girl, which is apparently orchestrated by an 18 year-old girl from Norway.

(That’s the country where your great-grandfather on Mommy’s side was adopted from, by the way.)

So, it’s official: These no-bake vegan chocolate chip cookie dough balls are awesome!

Not only are they pretty easy to make, considering you don’t even cook them, but they taste so good that they are extremely addictive.

However, the ingredients are healthy and simple:

  • 1 cup raw cashews
  • 3/4 cup dates
  • 1 tsp vanilla essence
  • a pinch of maldon salt
  • 1/4 cup chopped 70+% dark vegan chocolate (or use vegan chocolate chips)

So I kind of think these might be our new family favorite treat.

They’re mainly sweetened from the dates and “fattened” by the cashews; which provide less than 1% of the daily recommended amount of cholesterol.

Remember my theory on consuming more than 0% but less than 1% cholesterol?

“Being a vegan means your cholesterol intake is more than 0% (from good fats, like avocados, cashews, coconuts, sunflower seeds, chia seeds, etc.) but less than 1% (because of no animal fats). I think part of the reason vegans feel so much better after nixing animals products is because they are no longer experiencing another living (at one time) animal’s cholesterol and fat running through their veins.”

Like most food that Mommy and I approve of for our family, these no-bake vegan chocolate chip cookie dough balls are better when made by us… not bought pre-made and packaged from a store.

Having a fun (and delicious!) recipe like this makes it even more fun and special to be a plant-based family. Like I’ve said before, it’s not about what we can’t eat, but about what we can!

We get to enjoy this secret dessert snack recipe that hardly anybody else knows about. It’s not the kind of thing a person would normally think to make or eat, but when you rule out animal products from your diet, you (are forced to) discover new foods that you actually like better than what you were eating before.

I’m contrasting this recipe against any token grocery store cake, or boxed cake mix, made with food dye from petroleum and/or bugs, along with a whole paragraph of unpronounceable ingredients.

Yeah, that’s not food.

This is!

I’ll take no-bake vegan chocolate chip cookie dough balls anyday! But, shhhh… we’re adopting them as a secret family recipe now- thanks to an 18 year-old girl in Norway named Solveig Berg Vollan!

 

 

Love,

Daddy

 

P.S. Click right here for the full recipe featured on Gluten-Free-Vegan-Girl!

Or check out other vegan recipe reviews I have written

The Benefits Of Quitting Dairy

February 1, 2014 at 2:36 pm , by 

3 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

Now that I haven’t consumed any dairy products in the past eleven months, it’s simply common knowledge in my mind that the consumption of dairy products led to my former sinus congestion, abundant mucus production, and allergies.

I imagine that other vegans and “non-dairy consumers” already know this as common knowledge too, but unless you’re actually living it, how else would you know?

Granted, I’m no doctor.(That’s a major understatement, by the way!)

However, I did suffer through 22 years straight of, everyday, feeling like I had to blow my nose, but nothing would come out.

I endured 22 years of a couple times each year, getting a sinus infection. Plus, I was extremely allergic to cats.

Then, after only one weekend of cutting out dairy, my sinus problems and allergies cleared up.  Not one time since then has it felt like I needed to blow my nose but nothing would come out.

Also, I no longer itch or sneeze while in the presence of cats- no matter how much I pet them.

I remember how for a week following that fateful weekend where I experimented with giving up dairy, this weird yellow plasma started draining from my nose.

Whatever it was, it was what was keeping my sinus pressure and infections going. It was fed by the intake of dairy products.

And get this- my mucus has only been clear in color since I gave up dairy nearly a year ago; it’s never white or yellow like it used to be- just clear…

Interesting, right?

Not only am I not a doctor, but I’m also not a scientist or animal biologist; yet still, I want to point out a theory I have about dairy products, and I want full credit for it if it ends up being legit…

Milk is a secretion produced by the exocrine system, which also produces mucus. I’ve noticed that sneezing creates mucus, which helps flush outforeign objects from the human body.

So what happens if you consume the secretions (like milk) of the exocrine system of another species?

In my case, the human body tried to reject it- by producing more of its own mucus (frommy exocrine system) to flush out the foreign secretions from the exocrine system of another species.

For me specifically, not only did my body produce a lot more mucus to flush out the milk and cheese and butter I was consuming, but it also went into defense mode by attempting to sort of “lock out” further consumption of dairy products, by producing constant sinus pressure as a warning system to my brain.

It’s like my body knew what my brain didn’t.

Finally, after 22 years of suffering, I watched the right documentaries on Netflix (Forks Over Knives, Hungry For Change, Vegucated, The Beautiful Truth, Dying To Have Known, Supersize Me, and Food, Inc.) and realized that my body is hostile to the secretions of the exocrine system of other species of animals.

And the thing is, I don’t even miss dairy at all. Now that I really know what it is, I’m actually disgusted by it.

As for the nutrients that animals’ milk provides, for the past eleven months, I’ve easily gotten them from plants-  “the Big 6” (vegetables, fruits, grains, beans, nuts, and seeds), to be exact.

Plus, we use Earth Balance butter (made from olives) instead of dairy butter. And when Mommy makes cookies, she uses almond milk and/or applesauce instead of eggs.

Fortunately, you’re not a huge fan of milk anyway. You like “chocolate covered milk,” which is dark chocolate almond milk. (No, you don’t even mind if you have to drink it out of your cousin Calla’s pink princess cup.)

I hope you don’t end up with the same sinus and allergy problems I’ve suffered with for most of my life; up until last year, of course.

However, I believe that avoiding dairy is the key. As you grow older and experience a higher consumption of dairy products, if you choose to, your body will serve as a science project.

Either I will be very right, or very wrong, about my theory of the consumption of dairy products (secretions from the exocrine system of another species).

I just don’t want you to have to suffer like I did. We didn’t have the Internet orNetflix to tell us any different, back when I was growing up.

I was brainwashed to believe that milk actually does a body good. Turns out, it actually did my body worse.

With all that said, decide for yourself.

 

Love,

Daddy

Frozen Tire And Frozen Mac-And-Cheese Pizza

December 7, 2013 at 11:48 pm , by 

3 years.

Dear Jack,

What do a frozen tire and a frozen mac-and-cheese pizza have in common? Other than them both having a Pac-Man sort of thing going on in that picture collage, they were two important plot devices in today’s story.

Let me back up to where the story actually begins, with Mommy quietly waking up at 8:03 AM. She had let me sleep in; I had stayed up until past midnight writing yesterday’s letters to you.

“Nick… something happened to my tire. I just looked out the window. It’s flat. What do we do?”

It’s been a while since I’ve had to change a flat tire to a spare to get it down to the nearest tire store… probably a dozen years, but for some reason, I tend to think most clearly first thing in the morning and late at night.(Evidently my head is just in the clouds for most of the day in between.)

The nearly brand-new tire for Mommy’s car got a nail in the side of it, and overnight, it froze after it flattened.

As it began snowing, you watched me through the front door, making snake shapes out of your Thomas the Train track against the glass.

Thank God this happened on the one day of the week where it didn’t really interfere with our family’s schedule. Had this happened any other day than Saturday morning, it definitely would have been quite annoying and offensive us getting to work and school, or at least church.

Lucky for you, Mommy and I let you pick out a toy car while the tire was getting replaced. You chose a green 1963 Aston Martin, by the way.

(Not to self: Always buy the extended warranty on tires from Firestone… We only had to pay 20 bucks to cover taxes and a re-up on the warranty. Brand-new tire and labor, $20.)

What could have been a really bad day, where I wasn’t able to change the flat to the spare to drive it to the tire store, meaning we had to pay for a tow truck or something, and where I didn’t fork out the extra cash last time for the extended warranty, we would have lost hundreds of dollars today.

Instead, only 20 bucks.

Plus, you got a very special treat for lunch once we got back to our house. I couldn’t have planned it this way, but yesterday, Annie’s Homegrown had someone personally deliver one of their new Macaroni & Cheese pizzas for you to try.

I’ve always been very outspoken in promoting their company, like a couple of months ago when I reported that they were ranked #10 on Forbes’ list of Best Small Companies in America.

By default, I have become a brand evangelist for Annie’s Homegrown, so passionate about the fact that they are committed to saying no to GMO’s (and Monsanto) and petroleum-based food dyes (like Kraft uses).

And by default, you have become an unoffical poster child for them.

(We’re even trying to work it out where we can visit their headquarters in Berkely next summer when we visit Mommy’s side of the family in Sacramento.)

So, unsurprisingly, Annie’s Homegrown chose you as one of the first kids in America to review their new Macaroni & Cheese pizza. I kept a little notepad handy to document your thoughts on it:

After seeing Mommy pull it out of the oven, you proudly proclaimed, “I’m going to eat all of that pizza!”

I should point out that you didn’t know you were doing a food review, so I found it pretty interesting that on your own, after you finished the last bite, you provided solid and definite feedback that I didn’t even ask you for:

“Daddy, I like this new mac-and-cheese pizza you got me.”

So I think that pretty much sums it up for the folks at Annie’s Homegrown and for the other curious kids across America who heard about that new mac-and-cheese pizza:

Jack liked it!

Since I was already recording everything you were saying, I want to remind you of the last thing you said before I stopped writing it all down:

“No Huggies, no kissies, ’til I see that wagon bean!”

(That’s your verson of the 1986 hit by The Georgia Satellites, “Keep Your Hands To Yourself.”)

The highlight of my day, though, was going back through the pictures of today’s events and seeing the parallel pictures, comparing me changing and rolling the flat tire in the morning to you changing and rolling your “brown tire” (the base of a papasan chair) later in the afternoon.

It wasn’t a coincidence you were doing that.

Yeah, that pretty much made my day, kid.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Disclaimer: The food mentioned in this story was provided at the expense of Annie’s Homegrown, for the purpose of reviewing.