Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Recaps

Big Love? Man Donates Sperm For His Son’s Baby

March 27, 2012 at 11:41 pm , by 

16 months.

Today on MSN’s home page there was a strange headline proclaiming “Buzz About Father Donating Sperm For Son’s Baby.” I couldn’t resist. I had to read it.

As the article explains, a man in The Netherlands stepped up to the plate for his son who is biologically incapable of having a child with his wife.

So the baby’s biological father will actually be his legal grandfather. Accordingly, the baby’s legal father will be his biological half-brother.

This is not illegal. Though it is pretty weird.  I think for most people, the word “creepy” comes to mind.

But again, it’s not against the law. Should it be? Are there any particular moral issues involved here?

I think it’s safe to say that there are some psychological time bombs regarding this family’s dynamics. But does this case break a moral code, or does it just go against what is considered normal and acceptable in our society?

It’s not like the the father and daughter-in-law became sexually involved in order to have a child in the son’s place. But by the father donating his sperm, the ultimate outcome is still produced when the baby is born.

Imagine knowing that your own child is half of your spouse and half of one of your parents.

I feel like this is the strange twist ending of some psychological thriller movie.

Actually, this situation is very similar a story line in HBO’s drama series, Big Love. Nicki Grant’s ex-husband marries her mom in an attempt to have a biological child with her; having already fathered a child with Nicki.

When that plot revealed itself I remember thinking, “Okay, that’s an interesting story, but it’s simply unbelievable.”

Well, now that I’ve read this story, I’m less disappointed by the previously unbelievable story line on Big Love.

Right now I have the song “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (A Letter from Camp)” stuck in my head, only the words are “Hello Grandpa, hello Father…”.

So here’s what I want to know: Is there anyone out there willing to defend this dad who donated sperm for his son?

Anybody?

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Why My Toddler Is Like Chewbacca And Curious George

March 25, 2012 at 9:56 pm , by 

16 months.

I’m realizing pretty quickly that my son Jack understands a lot of what I tell him, though his vocabulary still only consists of 7 legitimate words.

It was always funny to me how in the Star Wars movies, the quick-to-assist Chewbacca could understand every word the humans told him though his best reply was always a mix between a gargle and a yodel.

Similarly, Curious George understands everything The Man in the Yellow Hat tells him to do (or not to do) though the clearest verbal communication George can respond with is cartoon monkey sounds.

Last night my wife and I were hanging out on the couch, entertained simply by our son who was burning off his “before bedtime” energy in the form of a one-baby show. As he grazed by us in the midst of all his running around the living room, we noticed that he needed to wipe his nose. My wife made casual mention of it to me.

Jack looked down at the coffee table, saw a Kleenex, picked it up and perfectly wiped his nose with it. That was cool.

But then, he ran over to the kitchen, opened the pantry door, pressed the lever on the garbage lid to open it, threw away the Kleenex, closed the lid shut, then re-entered the living room to continue his variety show for us.

He’s only 16 months! Sorry, but I’m impressed by that.

And then this afternoon I was getting him ready to go hang out with some friends and realized he was missing his left sock. I instantly assumed he left it somewhere downstairs. I told him, “Jack, we have to find your sock before we leave.”

He immediately sat up from the book he was reading, walked behind me to a pile of books he had already disorganized, and pulled the missing sock from underneath the rubble.

Again, the boy impressed me with his ability to respond to this new language that he is unable to speak in full sentences yet, but can fully respond and carry out certain actions;, just like Chewbacca and Curious George.

I’m starting to wonder what all I can train this little monkey to do…

 

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Men Cliches #1: Forgetting Wife’s Birthday And Anniversary

March 22, 2012 at 6:19 am , by 

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

Dadvice #5: How Is It Natural To Circumcise Your Son?

March 20, 2012 at 11:19 pm , by 

16 months.

Though usually this series is for readers asking my unprofessional and unlicensed opinion as a dad, today’s episode is a strange exception. I will simply be responding to a good question asked by a reader of Dadvice #4: Would You Recommend Using A Midwife? when he left this comment:

“You chose to have ‘a natural as possible delivery’ but still chose to circumcise your son? There’s NOTHING natural about a circumcision…where’s the disconnect?”

You’re right. For a guy who is so self-proclaimed “natural” when it comes to medicine and food and lifestyle in general, it appears to be a double standard that I would force circumcision upon my son who was incapable of making that decision himself.

So how is circumcision natural? It’s not.

And that’s the whole point: Circumcision is not natural.

I do believe in the hype and subscribe to the dogma that circumcision is “cleaner” and prevents urinary track infections and all that good stuff that has not necessarily been clearly proven. I’m aware of all the arguments for and against circumcision: I read them all on Wikipedia today.

But for me, my support of circumcision is a personal one: It has to do with Biblical teachings. As I’m sure you know, circumcision goes back to a covenant between God and Abraham; a commandment for the Jews. From there, it also has become popular among Muslims and Christians.

In particular though, why would a Christian Gentile such as myself observe a commandment so blatantly Jewish? Why pick and choose certain parts of the Jewish law to observe when the Apostle Paul in the New Testament made it pretty clear that Christians do not have to eat kosher food or become circumcised?

With me being Mr. Natural and all, I pay special attention to the Old Testament concerning random commandments God gave to the Jews; because sometimes though not specifically mentioned, it has something to do with health.

He instructed them not to eat pork and shellfish; which are extremely low on the food chain.

God didn’t point out the fact that that eating pork would be the leading cause of people getting intestinal parasites, but it is. Why are so many people allergic to shellfish? Because they are the bottom feeders of the ocean; they are slightly toxic.

Why did God tell His people not to eat milk products with beef? Because, as a Jewish man from Israel explained it to me one time, eating the two together in the same meal slows down digestion and promotes constipation.

So two and a half years ago, I converted to a kosher diet. (That eventually led me to become a vegetarian.)

Similarly, I believe circumcision is like that. God didn’t make this commandment for His people in the name of health; but ultimately I think that has a lot to do with it.

Back to my point at the beginning, circumcision is not natural. Instead, it’s man’s recognition of God’s instruction and intervention.

And I think that concept has everything to do with faith in God: As a believer, I am constantly having to make a conscious decision to go against my own selfish desires; like choosing to love my neighbor as myself.

That is not natural.

Sure, ultimately I try to be as natural as I can. Unless I feel that there’s something health-wise I can learn by observing God’s random commandments with the Jewish people; though as a Christian, it’s not necessary I do so.

Yeah, I know: I’m kinda weird.

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Top 5 Most Butt-Kicking Action Figures Of The 1980s

March 19, 2012 at 9:53 pm , by 

16 months.

Though the Eighties made it okay for boys to play with dolls, the same decade also provided these same young men, who are now today’s dads, with the perfect models of manliness: action figures.

After all, males are designed to be creatures of action. Virtually from infancy, we leave playing house and having tea parties to the girls. Boys are the explorers, the daredevils, and the protectors.

Why does a diaper ad that may or not insinuate that dads are 2nd rate parents get so many men upset? Since 33% of stay-at-home parents are now men, it mens that we can’t be the sole bread winners that dads evidently were back in the 1950′s.

So if our job is to work by raising our kids more actively than prior generations, then don’t diss our ability to work and to take action. I’ll say it until it’s a cliche, but today’s dads don’t babysit; they simply are being active dads.

(Maybe packs of diapers should come with a free “active dad” action figure?)

Reading too much into it, as I love to do, I have realized that each action figure on my Top 5 list represents an important aspect of fatherhood. It’s as if these toys subconsciously taught us what we would eventually need to teach and lead our children:

Masculinity, self-respect and self-defense, the initiative to implement change as necessary, adventure, and spiritual leadership.

After much discussion on Twitter, Facebook, and in real life, I have gathered my version of the Top 5 Most Butt-Kicking Action Figures of the 1980′s:

1. He-Man (1982). It can’t get much manlier when your name is “He-Man” and you ride a green tiger. Granted, he looked a lot like a pro-wrestler, with the velvet underwear and whatnot. Either way, dads are the ultimate examples of masculinity for their children. We are He-Men for our kids.

2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1988.) Martial arts were a pretty big deal back in the Eighties. From The Karate Kid to Bloodsport, it was ingrained into our brains that we must able to defend ourselves against ninjas. Or in this case, to be ninjas ourselves. Dads must teach their kids self-respect and self-defense. We are Master Splinters for our kids.

3. Transformers (1984.) Everything had to transform in the Eighties. Like Mogwai transformed into Gremlins, so did robots transform into vehicles. I’ve said it plenty before, but today’s dad is constantly having to transform the traditional father’s role from what used to left more to the mom. In theory, we must become more feminine to be masculine. Dads must lead by example and know when to implement change. We are Optimus Primes for our kids.

4. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (1982.) It’s funny how I never really remember any of the characters actually getting shot. A bloodshed-free military? Sounds pretty nice, actually. Dads motivate and inspire their children to be adventurous and to be all they can be. We are G.I. Joes for our kids.

5. Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983.) This classic sci-fi series came to a chronological end in the Eighties, reinforcing the existence of good and evil and the need to choose the right side. But it takes “the Force” to get the job done. Dads are the spiritual leaders for their family. We are the Jedi for our kids.

Now you know my list of the Top 5 Most Butt-Kicking Action Figures of the 1980′s. And knowing is half the battle.

 

P.S. For a great place to find and buy items such as these mentioned here, check out The Collectionary, a growing go-to place to search for classic action figures!