Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Leave a comment Posted on July 1, 2014 parenting, People

What Are Your Biggest Parent Peeves?

June 2, 2012 at 7:08 pm , by Nick Shell

A year and a half.

What things do you see other parents do that annoy you, even though they shouldn’t? Plus, what things should bother you, enough to speak up against them?

I have a few “parent peeves” that come to mind…

Like hearing another parent making empty threats of discipline to their obviously undisciplined kid:

“Preston, I’m never gonna take you out in public again. You’re gettin’ a butt whoopin’ when you get home and Santa Clause isn’t gonna visit you this Christmas!”

Or watching a parent give their toddler a 24 ounce caffeinated soda.

My biggest one is medicating a toddler for ADHD or hyperactivity. But I’ve already preached my sermon on that one…

When should these things bother us as compared to when it’s none of our business? How do we know it’s our responsibility to butt in and try to do something about it?

Recently I asked whether we should really care what other parents think about us. Well today, I’m asking why (and when) we should care how other parents do their job.

To help answer these questions, I have designed a system for figuring that out and I want to share it with you today:

Superficial disagreement- A difference of petty opinion or personal preference. Action required: Think to self, “Hmm… that’s weird. That’s not how I would do it.”

Personal disagreement- A difference of opinion so strong it offends you. Action required: Write a Facebook status update or blog entry generically dissin’ it.

Moral disagreement- A difference of moral viewpoint. Action required: Personally confront the parent or the authorities.

I think all parent peeves fall into one of those 3 categories and it’s a matter of sorting out which action should follow on our behalf.

To demonstrate, I’ll throw you a few examples:

A parent calls their kid an idiot in the school parking lot.

A parent slaps their kid on their face at the park.

A parent lets their kids run around and play loudly in the department store.

A parent uses the “cry it out” method on their 4 month-old.

A parent lets their now 3 year-old sleep in the bed every single night with them.

You get the idea. What’s interesting is that I’m pretty sure there are parents to defend either side of each of those examples.

So ultimately, it comes to a case of good old-fashioned relative morality.

Yes, I’ve had people defend the one of slapping their kid on the face. I was told that internationally it’s not a big deal.

Your turn. What are your biggest parent peeves?

Leave a comment Posted on July 1, 2014 Nostalgia, parenting

My Son, The 80′s Child Actor: Jared Rushton?

June 1, 2012 at 11:10 pm , by Nick Shell

A year and a half.

Does my son look like the best friend from the movie Big?

In the summer of 1988, my mom took me to see my first non-kids’ movie, Big, starring Tom Hanks.

I remember the anticipation the week leading up to going to the cinema: I didn’t really care what the movie was about.

All I knew was this was the first time my mom wanted to go see a movie on her own initiative and wanted to see it with me, so I was happy to join her even though the main character wasn’t a talking animal or at least a Muppet.

Turns out, Big has remained one of my very favorite movies ever, ever, ever.

Very easily I could write a blog post called “10 Reasons That Big Is One Of The Best Movies Of The Eighties.”

If I did, one of the reasons I would list was Tom Hanks’ interactions with Jared Rushton, the child actor who played his best friend, Billy Kopecki.

For me, the movie just wouldn’t be the same if it weren’t for that scene were Jared Rushton starts crying when he realizes that Tom Hanks really is the grown-up version of his best friend.

So I think it’s really interesting that within the past few months, I’ve had two people who don’t even know each other, tell me that my son Jack “looks like the best friend from Big.”

After going through the first 9 pages of Google images for “Jared Rushton Big” I admit I see the resemblance. It’s very subtle, but I also think it’s undeniable.

I mean, all of the random actors in all the movies in history, for two separate people to pinpoint “the best friend from Big” as my son’s look-alike, I think there must be something to it.

It would really be interesting if in a few years Jack starts resembling Jared Rushton even more.

What do you think? Do you see it?

And if the real Jared Rushton is out there reading this, now at age 38, I’d appreciate your input on this as well.

Leave a comment Posted on July 1, 2014 parenting, Storytelling

Dads Telling Their Kids “I Love You”

May 30, 2012 at 7:57 pm , by Nick Shell

A year and a half.

There’s no denying it. An active and involved dad in a kid’s life is a big deal.

But beyond the bare minimal cliches like showing up for ball games and ballet recitals is a dad who cares enough to tell his kids “I love you.”

And “I’m proud of you.” Regularly.

I think about the token Freudian question, “How is your relationship with your father?”

Surely we are all aware that where there is anger or mistrust or distance or absence in regards to one’s father, there is a higher risk for a tougher version of life in general for that individual.

I’ve pointed out before in “The Positive Re-branding Of Fatherhood” that today’s modern American dad is either very much a part of his children’s lives or he is completely not in the picture at all. The typical Generation X and Y dads are not likely to fall somewhere in between the two extremes.

Therefore, I think it’s safe to say that a dad who is in the picture is not afraid to emotionally express those words that every child needs to hear.

As for our own dads and their dads, were they told “I love you” by their own fathers? From what I’ve gathered from real life conversations and movies starring Kevin Costner, I am led to believe the answer is no.

I don’t think I’m odd for telling my son I love him and for kissing him on the cheek at least a handful of times each day.

That’s normal and expected. And though I won’t kiss him in public as I’m dropping him off for school by the time he’s in Junior High, my physical and verbal affection for him will still remain strong.

It’s interesting to try to sort out what is masculine as opposed to what deserves a man card being pulled.

(I tried writing a blog post about it once but it turned out really lame, so please don’t go back and read it because I’m very embarrassed by it! I so seriously wish I could delete it from The Dadabase.)

So while I will admit I’m not the kind of dad who will likely become “that dad” in worst of ways, embarrassing and emasculating my son in front of his friends by overly expressing my easily earned love and approval for him, he will be able to give a positive and endearing answer when it comes to answering the question:

“How is your relationship with your father?”

Leave a comment Posted on July 1, 2014July 1, 2014 parenting, Storytelling

Always 2nd Guessing Myself As A Parent

May 29, 2012 at 10:18 pm , by Nick Shell

A year and a half.

Whenever I say or type the phrase “thank you,” I instantly assume I actually just said “f— you.”

To me, the words sound so similar.

It’s not that I’m a vulgar person. In fact, my constant suspicion of my subconscious has much more to do my preoccupation of not being vulgar.

My habit of questioning my automatic actions bleeds into my parenting abilities.

Each time after having just strapped my son into his car seat and starting the ignition, I run the following questions through my head before looking over my shoulder at him:

“Did I actually strap him in all the way? Is he crawling around right now on the floor of my car? Is he outside, behind the car? Will I back over him?”

I just don’t want to commit some huge crime on account of running on autopilot. It’s not that I question my abilities as a dad.

Instead, I question my most unguarded moments in the midst of my daily dad duties. One little slip-up can instantly morph into an avalanche; in regards to protecting the life of my child.

I don’t fear being a bad dad. I fear being a good dad who in one careless moment throws it all away.

What if I somehow accidently cause my son to lose an eye or allow him to choke to death on a piece of bread? What if he suffocates during the night, trapped under his blanket and I’m not there to stop it?

It’s not that I’m overcome by the fear of “what if’s?” but instead, like a good Boy Scout, I always want to be prepared to keep these things from happening.

I want to prevent these catastrophes like Desmond repeatedly saved the life of Charlie on Lost in season 3.

Taking this “2nd guessing concept” a step further in parenting, there are so many controversial topics when it comes to deciding what is right in raising a child.

Are you wrong or right for letting your child “cry it out?” Should you regret letting your child receive immunizations? Why are some parents against letting their toddlers drink juice?

After having made a decision for your child, do you second-guess it or are you proud to have done what is right for you as a parent?

There will always be something to question yourself on as a mom or dad. But it’s my goal to make the best-researched and most-educated decisions and then follow them through.

If I’m wrong for letting my son cry it out, we’ll find out eventually. As for now, I’m confident in how wrong or right I am in my decision.

I just don’t have the mental capacity to honestly worry about that, in particular. I’m too busy trying to make sure I only just said “thank you” and not its evil counterpart.