As 2023 progressed, the process of writing my Enneagram book continued to help me reveal more about my perception of life. Like with the previous song, “St. Doubting Thomas”, I was in the deconstruction stage of ego death.

Perhaps that is what prompted me to mention the final stages of grief, at the end of the song:

I feel like I used to be a good person – Twenty years ago, I saw the world as beautiful – I felt so alive – That was me there at the dress rehearsal – I was the golden child – Life was wonderful – The future was so bright – I never died as a hero – I lived long enough to get old – I see myself now as a villain – Will this story have a happy ending? What does that even mean to me anymore? Looking back to when I was a good person – That was before I had a chance to crash and burn and was forced to learn – I feel like I used to be a good person – But what the world needs now is the current version – The one who can get the job done – I’m here to audition for the part of the tortured artist – What’s the best we can hope for in this life if we’re being honest? We find ways to cope – It gives us hope or at least distracts us – This is my denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance