When This Dad Is, By Default, The Alpha Male

January 18, 2012 at 11:25 pm , by 

14 months.

Put me in a room with a dozen guys my age and most likely I will surface as either the cultural equivalent of Paul Rudd, Ron Paul, or Jack Johnson.

If I were a main character on Lost, at best I would be the reluctant leader Jack Shephard, but I definitely would not be Sawyer or Sayid.

If I were part of the cast of Scrubs, I would be J.D. Dorian, not Dr. Cox.

In other words, by default, I am not the alpha male. I am the off-beat guy in the corner that people like being around, but don’t look to for protection, acceptance, or approval.

I am not the pack leader. Instead, I am the pack… guy next door.

And that’s fine by me; I know my role and my place in society.

Except when it’s not fine. Except when I must by default become the necessary pack leader. Most importantly, in my home.

In a household consisting of my wife and our 14 month-old son, I am obviously the alpha male. If I wasn’t, it would be a disaster; like the kind of thing you would watch on the TV show Supernanny.

And at my day job, with my sales position, being aggressive and taking charge is vital. I’m definitely by no means the alpha male there, but applying the things I learn from being one in my home helps me perform better at work.

Being the alpha male in my home means making important decisions on the spot and being good at making those decisions. Being this pack leader of my home means establishing order and trusting that my direction allows for my “society” to carry out that established order.

Yes, I am using the phrases “alpha male” and “pack leader” but when it really comes down to it, I’m talking about being the head of the household.

I’m going to edit this next sentence for sexual content, so use your imagination:

I’ve learned that as a man, it’s better to be perceived as a [jerk] than a [pansy]. 

My wife would rather be married to someone she respects because he is willing to take control of the situation, as needed, as compared to a man who is so easy-going that he leaves her up to take care of the decision-making and planning of both small and large household events.

Granted, we make our decisions together. But there are plenty of times where it needs to be my call and my initiative.

When it comes down to it, I don’t like being in charge and making decicisions. But to be a man, to be a husband, to be a dad; it’s just something I’m having to get used to.

Image: Goldfish swim in an aquarium, via Shutterstock.

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