If I knew I couldn’t be arrested or die, there are certain social experiments I would like to participate in. They are not violent or hurtful at all. But they could easily go wrong if I wasn’t immune to police arrests or gunshots.

The one that comes to mind is this: I would dress in a gorilla costume and show up at someone’s front door with two hot pizzas. Mumbling in grunts that I was there to deliver their pizzas they had ordered (which they hadn’t), the goal would be to get them to take the pizzas. If that happened, I would walk back to my car nonchalantly and drive away. And the pizza-accepting family in the cul-de-sac would never receive an explanation of what happened. Just free, hot pizza.

While the thought of a person dressed up in a gorilla costume delivering pizzas to a family who did not order them may seem bizarre, we do live in a country where it’s normal and accepted for kids dress up in silly costumes in order to accept candy from strangers. And we call it a holiday.

Match point.