The Sandy Hook Promise: This Time There Will Be Change

January 15, 2013 at 11:03 pm , by 

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

It has now been over a month since the tragic event that inspired me to write you, ”Processing The Newtown, Connecticut School Shooting As A Parent.” Since then, I’ve observed two natural responses from American society:

A) To help those who are grieving and B) to try to figure out how to prevent this from happening again.

The latter has led to many discussions aboutgun control, for as much or as little as that term may be referring to. For the past month, I have been deliberately avoiding public involvement in these conversations.

But now, I am willing to share with you how I feel about it. What makes it easy for me is that I read an article today on The New York Times’ website called “Families of Newton Victims Organize Violence Prevention Effort.”

After reading the story, and after reading between the lines, it appears to me that the Sandy Hook parents who are quoted are saying out loud what I’ve been thinking to myself for the past month.

To summarize, they are ultimately thanking the President for his efforts to help by trying to prevent another similar tragedy with his effort to ban the kind of assault weapon and high-capacity ammunition magazines used in the Newtown shooting.

However, the parents interviewed in the New York Times article, who have started a non-profit group called Sandy Hook Promise, are more focused on creating a national dialogue about school safety, mental health, and gun responsibility.

Here’s the Sandy Hook Promise, according to their website:

“I Promise to honor the 26 lives lost at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

I Promise to do everything I can to encourage and support common sense solutions that make my community and our country safer from similar acts of violence.”

It can’t be assumed that all or even most of the Sandy Hook parents feel the same way as those who have founded Sandy Hook Promise. Even still, it’s interesting to see enough gun-owning members of Sandy Hook Promise who are basically saying, “Hey, wait, before we focus so much on banning guns and ammunition, let’s take a look at the other issues too…”.

Maybe (!) I’m reading too much into the article, as well as, the Sandy Hook Promise’s website, but I think the term “common sense solutions” is an indirect way of saying that banning guns is not a common sense solution.

I find it interesting and no coincidence that when you go to the website for Sandy Hook Promise, there is a button you can click to receive email updates. It says, “I promise,” followed by, “this time there will be a change.”

(It is worth noting that the President’s campaign slogan of 2008 was “Change we can believe in.” Complete coincidence? Again, maybe I’m reading into something that’s not actually there.)

Personally, I feel that if certain assault weapons and ammunition magazines were banned, it would surely make it more difficult for troubled, mentally ill young men to use those certain assault weapons and ammunition magazines in public shootings. But it wouldn’t stop them from finding other ways to hurt large groups of people in theaters and schools.

Even with a complete gun ban, which I know the President nor the Democrats are not actually in favor of, a crazed attacker could still find access to homemade bombs, poisonous gas, and most likely… guns.

Honestly, my opinion on gun control and the Newton, Connecticut shooting doesn’t really matter. However, the opinions of the Sandy Hook parents are actually very relevant and they absolutely do matter.

And best I can tell, they’re more interested in having a national conversation about school safety, mental health, and gun responsibility. Not “banning” guns.

Read The New York Times’ Families of Newtown Victims Organize Violence Prevention Effort” and the Sandy Hook Promise website… see what you personally think about it.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Top image: Little boy holds his father’s hand: Shutterstock.

Bottom image, No guns allowed, abstract art: Shutterstock.

Why Changing Dirty Diapers Is Like Making PB & J Sandwiches

January 13, 2013 at 11:56 pm , by 

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

No, don’t get ahead of me on this one. I’m not implying that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich looks like a dirty diaper, in any way. Good guess, though.

This past weekend I changed one of your dirty diapers. Oddly enough, it’s been a while. Somehow with the timing of things, it’s rarely me that has that privilege.

Instead, it’s either one of your teachers at daycare, or Mommy, or a teacher in your class at church, but rarely me.

It’s not that I’m avoiding your dirty diapers.

After all, I of all people, a Generation Y daddy blogger, am very aware of the classic stereotype that dads are grossed out by changing their kid’s dirty diaper.

The thing is, I don’t mind changing your diapers. It’s my job and responsibility, and I take pride in it. Honestly, for any ad or commercial to portray a dad making a slight dramatic fuss over it is a tad offensive to me. I’m your dad, not a joke targeted at women to help sell diapers, dinner, or laundry detergent.

Sure, I admit that changing a dirty diaper isn’t necessarily fun. But my least favorite part of it isn’t actually the smell.

To be more candid than I should be, I’m used to the smell… aside from you.

The annoying thing about changing a dirty diaper is the process; which is the same reason making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches is a chore.

There are so many steps involved…

Get a clean diaper, predict the number of Wet Wipes it will take, get them out of the container in advance, find a good spot to change your diaper, give you a toy to distract you while I change your diaper, don’t get the mess on me or the floor or your clean diaper, put dirty diaper in a plastic disposable bag, throw away the dirty diaper outside, wash my hands…

Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is nearly just as bad:

Get out the bread, peanut butter, jelly, a butter knife, and a napkin to the place the sandwich on top of; then spread on the peanut butter, then wash the knife, then the jelly, then place the two sides together and clean the knife again.

It’s a very lengthy ordeal!

In fact, now that I think of it, I’m starting to wonder which really is worse: Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or changing a dirty diaper.

Well, at the least with the sandwich, I get to eat it afterwards. So yes, changing a dirty diaper is worse, but only slightly.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Top photo: A peanut butter and jelly sandwich open faced on a blue plate, Shutterstock.

Bottom photo: Baby care room sign, Shutterstock.

Playing “Make Me Laugh” With A 2 Year-Old

Best Parent Rap Video So Far: “I’m A Daddy And I Know It”

January 10, 2013 at 10:47 pm , by 

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

It’s official, “I’m A Daddy And I Know It” by Chad Morton, a Utah dad of five, has officially gone viral this week.

Unlike other homemade rap videos about parenting that have surfaced since I have been a dad, this one has surpassed the “has been shared and liked a lot on Facebook” level to “I heard them talking about it on the radio today, plus there’s a Yahoo Shine article about it proclaiming the video has officially gone viral” stage.

It doesn’t take an expensive, highly polished product to captivate an a big enough online audience and eventually go viral. As explained in the book Grouped by Paul Adams, it takes a product built around people; a product those people can personally and subliminally relate to.

“I’m A Daddy And I Know It” is simple, funny, easy to relate to as a dad, and most importantly, it’s not reaching. In other words, the video isn’t trying to hard to be cool, it just is.

Another thing I think that sets it apart is it seems to be void of classic (and annoying) fatherhood cliches. Sure, there’s a quick and necessary reference to dirty diapers, but there’s no predictable camera shot of the dad holding his nose as he changes a diaper.

Honestly, Chad Morton successfully makes being a dad look fun, yet real. Watching this video doesn’t make me think of any token classic 1980′s or 1990′s sitcom where the idiotic dad destroys the kitchen sink again in an effort to repair it; or even worse, he forgets his wife’s birthday.

Currently, “I’m A Daddy And I Know It” is nearing a million hits on YouTube. And it should.

Yes, I thoroughly endorse it. And I don’t thoroughly endorse many things.

I do admit, part of the subtle fascination with Chad Morton is that he’s got five (!) kids. Five young kids, including triplets.

(By the way, the one on the far left, in the picture above, looks like you when you were a little bit younger… he even has the faux hawk!)

As Mommy and I entertain the idea of ever giving you a sibling, this video serves as a reminder to us that there are plenty of families out there with a lot more kids, and apparently, they’re surviving.

We’ll see how that turns out for us over the next couple of years…

 

Love,

Daddy

 

How Do Families Have Time For Cable TV And Smartphones?

January 9, 2013 at 11:53 pm , by 

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

In yesterday’s letter, The Peculiar And Impractical Tradition Of Tithing 10%I suggested that perhaps part of the reason our family is able to tithe 10% of our income is because we don’t pay for cable TV or smartphones.

Of course, it’s been that way since Mommy and I got married on July 5, 2008. So by the time you came along 2 years ago, it was simply the norm; already established as our family’s culture.

But honestly, the fact that we don’t spend money on those things isn’t really much of a sacrifice on our end. What I can’t seem to grasp is how our family would find the time in our time-starved schedule to watch enough TV or utilize the wonders that a smartphone can do.

Maybe I should blame it on that episode of Saved By The Bell where Zack Morris has to call his dad on his cell phone to get his attention, though they’re already in the same room. Maybe I fear getting so caught up in the convenience of modern technology and entertainment that I allow myself miss out on quality time with you.

Our family struggles so much already with budgeting what little time we have together,  so even sacrificing only 10% of our time on those things would cause a strain on our family dynamics.

And again, if we only gave 10% of our free time to cable TV and smartphones, we wouldn’t be getting our money’s worth.

I try to imagine how distracted and unsettled I would be if I had a smartphone. I personally would not do well. Though I’m only 31, I don’t fit some of the token Generation Y traits like keeping up with the latest technology, and therefore, entertainment.

During the day at work, it would be extremely difficult for me to focus on getting anything done; knowing I could be discretely checking my email or looking random stuff up on my phone.

The best thing for me is to not have Internet on my phone. That helps keep me grounded, and honestly, helps keep my head clear enough to write you 6 days a week.

Similarly, I feel that if we had DVR and could record shows from dozens (or is it hundreds?) of channels, I would get overwhelmed quickly.

You, Mommy, and I somehow find a normal life in having basic (and outdated!) phones and paying just 8 bucks a month for Netflix streaming as our entertainment. You get to watch Mater’s Tall Tales everyday (and apparently never get tired of it) and Mommy and I get to catch up on the new season of Portlandia.

Of course, I’m very aware that our lifestyle is… counter-cultural. I ask, “How do families have time for cable TV and smartphones?”

Meanwhile, they are probably wondering, “How does that family function without those things?”

I just don’t see how our family is cut out to be that modernized when it comes to the tech and entertainment world. And ironically, that’s coming from a daddy blogger.

 

Love,

Daddy