Storytelling

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Never Talk About Politics, Religion, Or Food You Don’t Eat

July 25, 2013 at 12:20 am , by 

2 years, 8 months.

Dear Jack,

I’ve decided that in addition to writing about the funny things you do and say on a daily basis, and covering trending parenting stories, I want to start teaching you “life lessons from dad.”

So here’s the first one:

I have learned that the topics of politics, religion, and food are so interwoven into emotions, moral beliefs, and sense of identity, that to bring up a point that goes against or even questions a person’s already established viewpoint…

Well, it often ends up becoming an insult, a threat, or a display of arrogance: It could put you in danger of being perceived as self-righteous or judgmental; even if you have the purest of intentions.

While it seems most people are familiar with the fact that politics and religion are sensitive subjects, I recently learned that the topic of “food you don’t eat” is equal in regards to one’s emotions, moral beliefs, and sense of identity.

But my opinion about these topics isn’t worth dividing people. I want to connect to people and make them feel included, and I’ve learned that openly talking about, or even just asking questions about, these three topics isn’t the way to do this.

So for the past month or so, I’ve been trying something out. I’ve been very careful not to use the “V-word” to label myself in regards to my eating lifestyle or the “L-word” to label my political beliefs.

And when it comes to speaking about my religious faith, I am trying to focus on humility, more than anything; which is one of the most important aspects of what I believe anyway. What good are my religious beliefs if my personal beliefs regarding politics and/or food distract people from my faith?

This is me trying to deliberately not perpetuate America’s polarizing tendencies, especially in social media. Both CNN and Fox News are pretty good at that already. I’ll leave it to the experts.

Regarding politics, religion, and food I don’t eat, I’ll let my viewpoints remain as much of a mystery as possible… until people specifically ask, or it works its way into conversation more naturally.

I want to earn the right to have these conversations with individuals, not broadcast my lifestyle across the universe to the masses like I’m the ultimate authority on these three sensitive subjects.

Here’s to finding out if my actions can speak louder than my words.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

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My Son Doesn’t Know What A Gun Is

July 23, 2013 at 4:24 pm , by 

2 years, 8 months.

Dear Jack,

Your Auntie Jenny and her family had a special gift ready for you as soon as they got here to meet us on our annual family vacation to Sacramento.

It’s the Imaginext Sky Racers Twister Jet.

And it’s actually pretty awesome! I’ve never seen giant chainsaws on the front of a fighter jet before…

In fact, that’s so creative of an idea I’m sort of jealous I didn’t get hired by Imaginext to come up with ideas for toys!

It’s good timing because Mommy and I are planning to take you to your very first movie in a theater: Disney’sPlanes.

So your Twister Jet serves as not only your first real toy plane, but also as a way to pretend you’re flying one of the planes from the new Planes movie once you officially become obsessed with them… which you will.

Your cousin Matt and I were talking about the “practicality aspects” of having two giant chainsaws on the front of a fighter jet, when he happened to look down into the wading pool full of toys you’ve been playing in and saw what he thought was a toy gun, only to learn that in reality it was one of  your girl cousins’ toy hair dryers.

“Does Jack like toy guns?” Matt asked.

That was the first time I had considered the fact, that honestly, you don’t even know what a gun is.

It’s not that I’ve purposely sheltered you from toy guns; water guns, in particular.

But even with your water table on our back patio, you don’t need water “guns” because you have several toy animals that squirt water instead.

By no means am I endorsing any kind of agenda either against or for guns, especially because for the past month as I’ve been working on a letter to you called “Never Talk About Politics, Religion, Or Peoples’ Food,” I’ve been trying to deliberately not perpetuate America’s polarizing tendencies, especially in social media.

At some point, you’ll be old enough to know what guns are. You’re not even 3 years old yet.

As for now, we’ll just stick with chain saws.

 

Love,

Daddy

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Socially Unplugging While On Vacation Isn’t Easy

July 23, 2013 at 3:02 pm , by 

2 years, 8 months.

Dear Jack,

This morning I witnessed you doing something bizarre, something I’ve never seen you do before.

You and I were playing in the backyard when your cousins walked up. Immediately you put your head down and made your way over to a black pipe connected to the wall.

It’s not that you were pretending to be stuck. Instead, you just covered your face and didn’t say a word.

Even with your cousins trying to engage you, you remained a statue.

I couldn’t quite figure it out.

When you finally moved, you simply repeated the action at the screen door.

It’s not that you were angry, upset, or unhappy in any way.

You just didn’t want to socialize.

Trust me, I can relate! In order to function, I have to have a couple hours a day with no one around; which is why going on vacation with family can be challenging for me too.

So truly, I know what you were going through, now that I think about it.

What else could you do, as a toddler who claims to never be tired, and refuses to rest other than when he is forced to?

How else could you communicate with me that you just needed some time to yourself, without having to go somewhere to take a nap? You didn’t need physical rest.

What you needed was social rest.

You and I have that in common. We’re highly social, highly verbal people who need designated time to just zone out and mediate without someone or something interrupting our thoughts.

I get it now.

Next time this happens, I’ll try to accommodate somehow; maybe by taking you on a walk.

That’s why I enjoy writing, reading, and biking in my spare time. It’s a means of recharging from human interaction.

Whereas the total of two hours of driving we usually do when we’re not on vacation gives us that “zone out” time, we aren’t getting that regularly this week.

So while your behavior this morning did seem pretty weird, now that I’ve written to you about it, it totally makes sense.

And that only further exemplifies why taking a social break is a good thing sometimes.

 

Love,

Daddy

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What Are The “Right Reasons” For Having Another Child?

July 23, 2013 at 2:33 pm , by 

2 years, 8 months.

Dear Jack,

Something I am really enjoying about our vacation this year is that you have older cousins here to babysit and entertain (and “dote” on) you the entire time.

Granted, that doesn’t mean I have noresponsibilities. I’m still helping with meals, baths, and bedtime. But for the most part, I sort of feel like I’m actually on vacation a little bit more than usual.

You’re having plenty of fun and it’s okay that I have more of passive role this week.

And that takes me back to a question I asked earlier this month in “Still, Though, I Think I’d Be Happy With Just One Child.”

Here’s an excerpt:

“My reasons for wanting another child, when I sporadically do, are never sincere enough or truly legitimate… If we’re going to grow our family, I want it to be ‘for the right reasons,’ and I’m not even sure what they are anyway.”

So since I wasn’t sure, I asked my friends on Facebook, “What are the “right reasons” for having another child?… What are the wrong reasons?”

My friend Alissa summed it up perfectly, in my opinion: “The right reasons are if you want another child. The wrong are if other people tell you you should.”

On top of that, my friend Rhonda gave me an answer I related to 100% at this point in my life:

“Someone asked me this the other day, and when I got honest it just came down to not wanting the responsibility & stress of more children. Selfish maybe, but true. No plans right now to have any more.”

I love her simple honesty.

It’s true for me, personally. Because it’s not that I can’t handle the responsibility and stress of a child. Instead, I am saying that the responsibility and stress of another child, in addition to one already, is enough of a reason to justify not having another child.

Others may disagree, but I don’t see anything selfish about admitting that.

I don’t see it as selfish for me to feel, think, and say out loud that you make our family complete and that if it’s up to me, at this point, I would choose not to take on more responsibility and stress like that. Again, that could change.

Like clockwork, Mommy could find out we’re having another baby around your 4th birthday. That seems to be the ironic plot line for families of three who plan to remain families of three, at least.

I guess we’ll see, kid.

 

Love,

Daddy

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Little Sleep + Plastic Sports Equipment = Caveman Mode

July 23, 2013 at 12:31 pm , by 

2 years, 8 months.

Dear Jack,

Here at the end of the 2nd full day of vacation with Mommy’s side of the family here in Sacramento, I’ve officially realized the way it’s going to be:

You’re totally going to get away with running around the whole week wearing nothing but a diaper.

It’s not intentional, of course.

Mommy purposely packed your cutest outfits for this trip. And you do wear them, for about the first two hours of the day.

Then it’s warm enough to play in the little wading pool in the backyard; as you step in the squishy black mud as you search for new toys to throw in your pool.

I laughed to myself yesterday after dinner. There I was, playfully spanking you with an over-sized, plastic, hollow baseball bat, as you attempted to hit me with the accompanying plastic baseball while swinging a plastic golf club at me.

You were in total caveman mode. And I was encouraging it…

Even after our impromptu game, you continued walking around like a gorilla, grunting your way across the background as family members tried to speak to you in English.

It wasn’t the first time I saw you this way. I thought back to Father’s Day when you gave me my unofficial gift…

Now that you have finally caught up on most of your missed sleep due to the early flight out here, the time change, and all the excitement of your cousins making you into a pet version of Animal from the Muppets, I don’t expect you to go full caveman again this week.

Enjoy the “no shirt, no shoes, no pants, no problem” policy while you can, though. We are on vacation, remember.

 

Love,

Daddy