Spirituality

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No Such Thing as Illegitimate Children, Part 1

January 29, 2012 at 8:08 pm , by 

3 Comments Posted on parenting, Spirituality, Storytelling

Surprise! This Christian Dad Struggles With His Own Faith

January 25, 2012 at 8:40 pm , by 

14 months.

During my day job, I work alongside someone I consider a “friendly atheist.” Not the kind who has a passionate agenda of converting me out of Christianity or who is obviously mad at God for not existing. He just simply believes that when we all die… poof! That’s it.

He and I have the kind of mutually respectful relationship where we can curiously ask each other questions about the other’s belief system, without it ever turning volatile or even emotional.

Last Friday I told him, “You simply have more faith than I do; to believe we all just got here by random chance.”

He replied, “You know, Nick; I find it very surprising that you, of all people, believe in Jesus and the Bible and all that stuff. I know you well enough to realize you are a very logical, rational guy. It just doesn’t fit you.”

The truth is, he makes a good point. I have no trouble at all believing in each of the miracles told in the Bible; from God creating Adam from dust, then Eve from his side, to Noah being able to gather two of every kind of animal on the ark, to the virgin birth of Christ, to Him being the Son of God, to Jesus making wine from water, to Him walking on water, to Him dying for the whole world and then raising from the dead. No problem.

Why? Because it’s all miraculous. It’s impossible unless it’s true. That’s logical to me.

Sure, I definitely believe the Bible truly is legitimate and factual.

I’m not the kind of person who only believes the parts of the Bible and God’s teachings that I want to; the ones that are easy to believe and that make me feel good. That’s not me.

Instead, I am a Bible-believing Christian who trusts in Christ alone for eternal life and redemption of all my wickedness, yet with humility I am willing to admit, there are parts of the Bible and its teachings that I struggle with.

Notice I said “struggle with.” I didn’t say I don’t believe or won’t believe. It means there are certain things I have to sort out, by carefully reading the Bible, praying to God to help me understand, reading related commentary books and talking to other Christians about my concerns.

I have this theory that most Bible-believing Christians have at least one particular part of the Bible or Christianity they have always struggled with believing. Mine is the existence of a literal, eternal, fiery hell in which people can never be redeemed.

While I’ve never met a Christian who believes that babies go to hell, it seems to be a popular belief that basically everyone else born in sin who dies not knowing Christ as their savior goes to hell forever.

That includes people in other countries who never heard the Gospel. That includes people who were only exposed to judgmental Christians who condemned them. That includes people who have been abused by their earthly fathers and have a deranged idea of what a loving father actually is.

I simply don’t want to be in a position where I have to decide who goes to Heaven and who doesn’t. But I feel that if hell is the fiery place it’s perceived to be by most Christians and their agreed interpretations of Christ’s teachings, then I sort of am in that position.

This can of worms got opened about a month ago when I read the highly controversial book, Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived, by Rob Bell.

It’s not that I agreed with every thing he said, but he was willing to shed light on my lifelong concerns about the Church’s traditional interpretation of hell. He goes back to every use of the word “hell” in the Bible and focuses on the original Hebrew and Greek words used.

So should I believe that all unbelievers, except babies, go to hell if they don’t believe in Christ by the time they die?

I’m going to give a very unpopular answer:

I don’t know. I have no idea. Yet.

I know that I’m supposed to believe it as an evangelical Christian. But I can’t lie and say in my heart I believe it at this point in my Christian journey.

But I’m trying to figure it out as I reread the teachings of Christ and the Apostles. I’m also reading the book,Erasing Hell, by Francis Chan; which counters the ideas written in Love Wins.

Just for the record, I graduated from a one year Bible college called Word of Life Bible Institute and earned my English degree from Liberty University; the world’s largest evangelical Christian university.

I know the Bible very well. But I can’t stand the thought of believing heresy, whether it’s some trendy author’s flawed interpretation of the Bible, or even the Church’s flawed understanding of Scripture.

Nothing has ever caused me to read the Bible with such passion. As a believer of Christ, I want to know who He truly is.

This is real faith. It’s not about having all the answers. Nor is it being okay with not trying to find the answers.

So what does this have to do with being a dad? Everything.

I want to be able to teach my son everything I have learned about God. My faith is everything to me. As his dad, it’s my responsibility to be the spiritual leader my dad was to me.

So to not understand a major part of my faith is difficult for me to deal with.

Like my atheist friend said, I am a very logical and rational guy. I don’t just believe something because I’m supposed to. I believe because God helps me to.

So help me God for my lack of understanding.

Top image: Hands Statue from Hell in Wat Rong Khun at Chiang Rai, Thailand, via Shutterstock.

Bottom image: Marshmallow on a stick over the fire, via Shutterstock.

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Thankfulness for My Toddler’s Teacher

November 22, 2011 at 10:14 pm , by 

One year.


Last week when my son turned a year old, he was lucky enough to have his official birthday cupcake three different times. Therefore, I have three different pictures of the event: one with just our family of three, one with his extended party with friends and family, and one at his daycare, KinderCare.

Jack’s main teacher, Ty, had his classmates sign his birthday crown that she made for him. In case you’re wondering, the way toddlers sign things is by using their thumbprint. I have these pictures hanging up now at my cubicle at work. So while I’m listening to some weirdo on the phone tell me his life story, I can look over and catch a glimpse of what life must be like for my son in Baby Land.

I never have to question whether or not Jack is okay there at his daycare or whether or not he’s been well taken care of. After all, I’m not “that dad” who has to suppress my anxieties about my son when a non-family member is taking care of him.

He is okay. He’s more than fine. In fact, I’m pretty solid in knowing that he’s a smarter little boy because of Ty’s guidance and teaching; as compared to if he was under my care for 40 hours a week instead.

Despite an already impressive book collection at our house, we don’t spend nearly as much time as we’d like reading to Jack. But when we do, it’s very apparent that he is accustomed to being read to because of Ty. He sits there and enjoys the book when we read it to him.

Because of Ty, he now knows how to use his thumb and index finger to pick up pieces of food and bring them to his mouth. This same learned skill has also helped him to turn on the Wii when I’m not looking.

Jack has learned to find confidence and independence through Ty’s guidance. I can tell that he not only thinks the world of her, but that he also respects her.

She was telling me last week that when he starts to get into some trouble or into a mess of some sort, she will say, “Jack… no, no.” Then he starts doing his fake cry. But he is learning boundaries from her.

My wife and I are very thankful for Ty taking care of our tyke. (She creatively found ways to avoid my camera in the midst of writing this post.) It’s sad to think that in the near future he will be moving out of her age/stage group. She has been there to see him learn to walk. But the boy must grow up.

Thank God for good teachers who help our kids along the way when we parents can’t be there for every minute of it.

Unexpected Bonus!

This week I gave Ty a copy of the brand-new book, God’s Promises for the Teacher. It is a new addition to Thomas Nelson’s best-selling God’s Promises series. The book serves as a quick devotional for teachers, using specific motivational Scriptures for 45 different topics including patience, wisdom, peace, and courage.

 

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The Stress of Getting to Church on Time with Kids

November 14, 2011 at 9:19 pm , by 

Eleven months.

I wonder what it’s like for a family with at least one kid to arrive to church A) on time or even early and B) not get stressed out in the process while C) actually looking put together. Even if it’s a well-crafted illusion, there are families at our church who appear to fit this description. I have a feeling that I’ll never know what it’s like to be them.

We happen to be members of a megachurch in the Nashville area called Brentwood Baptist. I admit, the place is literally the size of a mall. No exaggeration: You could actually drive two SUV’s side by side from one end of the building to the other. Need another comparison? Sometimes it reminds me of the spaceship from the Will Smith movie, Independence Day.

While I can easily see why the idea of a church that monstrous would intimidate a lot of people, the place is a welcoming magnet for newcomers to Nashville. In fact, my wife and I were both attending service there for months before we actually met back in 2006. Instead of feeling out of place in a church that huge, we have always felt its size and diversity has actually helped us both individually and as a married couple find our place.

There is no need to go through the tired routine of why it’s so hard to get to church on time with a kid. If nothing else, it’s just harder to get out of bed on time knowing it’s not a workday. We really have no excuse: Our church has four different services! Even an additional one in Chinese if we ever felt so daring…

My wife and I found an awesome Sunday School class for couples with young kids. It starts at 8 AM. We hardly ever make it, though.

As if our son Jack doesn’t spend enough time in the care of others during the week, it’s difficult to part with him another couple of hours on Sunday. So the reality of it has become this:

Typically we just show up in time for the main service and sit near one of the many corners of the massive hallways where the service is playing on a TV. That way, Jack can run around where there is plenty of space and soft carpet; not to mention plenty of friendly strangers who love to pay him a lot of attention.

Sure, we’d get more out of the service if we took him to our church’s child care, but even if he’s ready for it, we’re not. Besides, I might not have been able to have shot this video of him walking, which first appeared on The Dadabase  Facebook Wall.

 

 

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New Book: Heaven is for Real for Kids

November 9, 2011 at 10:51 pm , by 

Eleven months.

By now, there’s a good chance you’ve heard the buzz about the New York Times #1 bestseller, Heaven is for Real; or you’ve at least seen this clip from The Today Show where Colton Burpo tells Matt Lauer about his experience:

When Colton was only three years old, he underwent an emergency surgery; during which he claims he went to Heaven and saw his great-grandfather and Jesus. More intriguing though, is that he met his older sister who he never even knew about; his mother miscarried a few years before Colton was born.

As of yesterday, Heaven is for Real became available in a kids’ version. Essentially, the book was written by Colton himself and features illustrations by Wilson Ong.

I like how every time you turn the page, there is a paragraph telling about something else Colton saw, which is accompanied by a Bible verse verifying the validity of what of what he witnessed.

Heaven is for Real for Kids is a perfect guide for parents who want to engage their children in conversations about Heaven. At the end of the book, there is a question and answer session with Colton, as well as, photographs of him with his family.

This is a book that personally, I highly recommend. Because it is based on the account of Colton, it is not merely another piece of children’s fiction. For the regular version of this story to have become a #1 bestseller, there is obviously something engaging and special about it.