Nostalgia

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Why Chess Is Good For Boys Who Like Violent Shooter Video Games

September 15, 2012 at 11:35 pm , by 

21 months.

Back in April, I chose to become involved in a “Big Brother” type of program called Men Of Valor; a program to mentor children whose fathers are incarcerated.

I was matched with a 15 year-old boy who was known for keeping to himself and playing “shoot-’em-up” video games online.

For those first couple of one-on-one meetings I had with him, I really didn’t know what to do.

But then he told me he was considering becoming a sniper in the military.

Coincidentally, I had just finished a book called MicroTrends, which had a chapter called “Aspiring Snipers,” explaining how the the popularity of shooter games like Halo and Call of Duty have spiked a trend in high school boys surveyed, saying that they are interested in becoming US military snipers when they graduate high school.

I racked my brain on how I could use his interest in shooter games and his inspiration to become a US military sniper as ways for us two to get to know each other better.

Then I thought back to a classic game in which I have been looking for a good partner for years: Chess!

In chess, you can use pieces like the queen, the bishop, and the rook to “snipe” the other player from the other side of the board.

Essentially, those pieces are best used after you have distracted your opponent with a threat on one side of the chess board, then in the likeness of a sniper, you slide in from the other side and take out one of the player’s pieces.

I began thinking, “Aspiring snipersshould play chess.” I’m now convinced that chess is indeed the most archaic version of today’s online shooter games.

So every other Thursday, I pick him up to take him out for a Frappuccino at Starbucks and we play our 3 chess matches.

It took him about 7 or 8 chess matches to finally beat me for the first time. Like I told him, I wasn’t going to let him win nor would I go easy on him at all.

But as of our last meeting a few days ago, it was the first time in 3 matches that I finally beat him again.

That’s right. He’s a well-matched chess partner for me now.

As of our last meeting, he mentioned to me that he may be interested in going to college to be a History Major, or maybe even an English Major like I was.

But whether he ends up fighting for our country in the military, or becoming a historian or a teacher, I’m here to support him; and I say, it all began with a classic game of chess.

I now invite you to read my instant sequel to this article, 5 Reasons To Play Chess With Your Child.

 

Top image: Two knights face to face on chessboard, via Shutterstock.

Bottom image: Chess coffee, via Shutterstock.

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Grandfathers Are An Instant Magnet For Toddler Boys

September 11, 2012 at 10:47 pm , by 

21 months.

Labor Day morning we drove 2 hours to Chattanooga to visit my dad’s parents. My grandfather was retiling the shower when we arrived.

All Jack could see was the backside of man in overalls, who was pounding something with a hammer, but he was sold.

Whoever this mystery man was, my son needed to met him.

I didn’t bother explaining that he was my “dada’s dada.” I just let him be enthralled.

We made our way into the living room and Jack barely gave my grandfather time to sit down before Jack was making him play.

As weird as this sounds, my son has never been exposed to a toy sword before. So after finding one in their toy stash, he kept flying the “airplane” all over my grandfather.

It’s pretty easy to get my son to think you’re cool- just be a grandfather.

I have no trouble understanding this attraction. Little boys are adventurous.

And who has seen more adventure than a Korean War veteran with a Purple Heart? Somehow Jack sensed this about my grandfather.

Jack loves grandfathers.

I’ve mentioned before that in some ways, no one seems to understand Jack better than my dad, who he calls Papa. Jack has always been obsessed with my dad.

When I say obsessed, I mean obsessed. Though we live 2 and a half hours from my parents, Jack randomly says “Papa” in the middle of playtime for no apparent reason. Except for maybe that he associates adventure with his Papa.

This past weekend we hung out with Jack’s friend Henry, his parents, and grandparents. There was the train ride with Thomas, then breakfast at First Watch, and lastly we decided to tour the pet store next door.

After exploring several of the aisles with me nonchalantly trailing behind him, Jack saw Henry’s grandfather around the corner.

He lifted his hands up to him and said in his Todfather voice: “Up-eh!”

From there, Henry’s grandfather carried Jack around the store, as Jack pointed to the direction his new chauffeur was to take him.

I guess that’s one of the things that grandfathers are known for in the mind of a toddler boy; getting carried around in the likeness of a parrot on the shoulder of a pirate.

After a few minutes, Henry’s grandfather brought Jack back and sort of whispered like he was telling me a secret:

“When it comes to grandpa’s, boys just seem to know.”

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Why It’s Important That Wrestling Is Fake

September 11, 2012 at 8:50 pm , by  21 months. Two Saturday nights ago my wife and I turned on the TV in hopes of a catching a creepy episode of Dateline featuring yet another typical, captivating story where a seemingly normal husband or wife murdered their spouse and tried to cover it up. Instead, we happened to catch the very beginning of Wrestelmania 28, which for some random reason was airing on NBC. And we couldn’t turn it off. We were reeled in by the mini-documentary profiles of both The Rock and John Cena. Before the match began, we were already rooting for John Cena, dressed in his token jean shorts. Yes, professional wrestling is fake. Sorry. No, not every single move is choreographed, but the basics of each match are predetermined, as I assume the wrestlers practice with each other for hours before their televised event. Sure, certain parts of the physical wrestling are real, like slamming each other down on the stage. But if all those “punches” to the face were real, there would obviously be some instant red marks and/or blood to prove it. Why is it important that professional wrestling is fake? Because that’s what draws a crowd. People love exciting entertainment, even when they know it’s over the top and less than realistic. (Ever heard of a show on TLC called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo?) This concept was also part of the story lines to boxing movies like Cinderella Man and Rocky, where the fight planners and promoters acknowledged the need for not only an underdog the people would root for, but also the need for a good long fight. That’s not to say that Mike Tyson biting off Evander Holyfield’s ear wasn’t exciting, but there’s only so many times fighters can bite off their opponent’s body parts before it hurts the integrity of the sport. Therefore, professional wrestling is fake. It’s much safer that way; not only for the well-being of the wrestlers, but also for the faithfulness of the spectators. My 21 month-old son is at least subconsciously aware of this fact, too. On a daily basis, we wrestle in our living room. And every weekend, at the park. He knows I won’t actually hurt him, yet he screams as I straddle him like a hungry lion tearing into a delicious zebra. All of my growling and barking and shouting “Jack, come back here!” as I chase him across the room has to be perceived to him like being in the middle of a WWE wrestling match. Even my toddler knows that wrestling is fake. But that doesn’t make it any less entertaining.

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Silly Parents, Thomas The Train Rides Are For Kids!

September 9, 2012 at 11:10 am , by 

21 months.

Yesterday we took our toddler son Jack to the Day Out With Thomas the Train 2012 Mystery On The Rails Tour. As the parents, we had these (unrealistic) expectations of what it would be like:

Each train car would be an actual character from the TV show and we would travel through the best scenery of our city.

Instead, we boarded a normal, regular-looking 1950’s train car and traveled 12 minutes forward at about 15 miles per hour, then backtracked in reverse to where we started from.

The scenery included a parking lot of school buses, a dumping zone, and the graffiti underneath the main bridge.

And that’s if you were sitting on the right side of the train; if you were sitting on the left aisle, you got to see a brick wall for most of the ride.

It cost a total of about 43 bucks for our family of 3 to take this excursion. Granted, there were other Thomas the Train themed activities after the ride ended; like getting free temporary tattoos, visiting a miniature petting zoo, and story time.

However, the rain put a bit of a damper on most of that for us.

So maybe our expectations as parents weren’t exactly met. But when I looked over at Jack, he was totally enthralled by all the excitement.

His face was pressed against the glass of the window most of the time. He never cried nor got antsy. And for a toddler boy, that’s saying a lot!

Not all parents were as lucky as we were.

I saw plenty of fellow dads doing their best to contain their crying sons who couldn’t sit still for the event, or whose sons were even afraid to enter the train at all.

But our child was happy. As his parents, we were just along for the ride. Honestly, isn’t that a good way to sum up parenthood?

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Obscene Words Our Kids Can’t Use… Even If We Used To

September 4, 2012 at 11:10 pm , by 

21 months.

You can no longer say the “m-word” on TV.

No, green slime will not fall on your head if you do, but the censors willbleep the word out, even on Comedy Central: It’s “little people” now.

But when I was a kid in the Eighties, there was no chance of being reprimanded or corrected if you used the “m-word.”

Similarly, the “r-word” is dangerous to use as well. I remember back in 2008 when Ben Stiller’s Tropic Thunder drew controversy and even inspired a petition that was circulated through Facebook encouraging people not to see the movie because of the way it portrayed those with special needs.

It’s wallpapered in our brains as today’s parents of young children to know that one of the worst things to be in our society is a bigot; any type of person who looks down on or makes fun of other people for being different.

(To be honest, I’m actually a tad paranoid to even be covering this topic today for fear of being misunderstood or misquoted as one myself. What if I ironically make myself look like the kind of bully I am speaking against here?)

And that brings us to another especially unacceptable and obscene term; the “f-word.”

No, the other “f-word,” as well as the “q-word.” These days, when one of your friends from high school officially “comes out of the closet” on Facebook in a status update, you can expect to see a flood of “likes” and “hugs” and “You go girl!” comments, definitely not criticism or name-calling.

As if I needed to say it, I’m glad to see these words become demonized. I like knowing our society is reaching such a state of “bullying awareness.”

What I am seeing about our Millennial generation (born from 1980 to 2000) and our concept of vulgarity is that we’re more offended by slurs directed at minorities of every kind in society; as opposed to cursing and cussing in general.

Interestingly, we’re much less offended by the classic extreme offenders, like “g.d.” or “a-hole” or even the original f-word. In fact, it’s not even a big deal anymore to hear those words spoken on cable TV from time to time.

We’ve heard them so many times that I’m wondering if they actually are profane anymore or if we just pretend they are because it’s what we’re used to thinking.

Here’s what I know. I have a responsibility to teach my son what is and is not appropriate to say, largely based on which words I do and do not say.

It’s not up to the rating of a movie or a TV show, or which words the censors bleep out, or even which words that society deems as offensive for whatever reason.

Since a lot of my son’s future vocabulary is indeed up to me, I will guide him and strive to be the example he needs to see and hear.

I will be that person in my son’s life; to teach him not only how not to hurt others with his words, but also, how to build people up with his words, especially to those who need it the most.