Nostalgia

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Who’s The Boss? (Minus Tony Danza)

April 23, 2014 at 6:23 pm , by 

3 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

When you woke me up Easter morning, on my 33rd birthday, one of my immediate thoughts was not, “Man, I can’t believe I’m this old!”

Instead, it was, “Man, I’m 33 years old and have a 3 and a half year-old kid who thinks I’m in charge!”

I thought about how three decades ago in 1984, there were two different sitcoms that premiered which contained premises and titles featuring the uncertainty of the character with the assumed authority:

Who’s The Boss? andCharles In Charge.

Granted, just a few seconds earlier I was in a deep sleep probably dreaming something weird, but I think my subsconcious was making a good point:

I evidently doubt my credibility as your dad.

While it’s no secret that Mommy is the officer in charge of our schedule and budget, there’s a lot I’m in charge of, as it pertains to you.

I have to remind myself of that.

It may not seem like a big deal, but I am responsible for getting you to and from school (in Nashville traffic!) each day.

While you’re in the back seat, having fun pretending to have a cracker for an eyeball, I’m actually having to proactively keep us alive and well… not to mention get you and I to school and work on time.

Each night after you keep calling Mommy back upstairs (for the 3rd time) after she’s already put you to bed, it’s me that comes up there to truly sing you the last song. Because you know that my last song really is the last song!

You have a reverence for me that is much different than how you perceive Mommy. (And I don’t even spank you.)

If nothing else, you know that at any given moment, I may make you wrestle me on the carpet and then I’ll tickle you when you lose.

Yeah, and I’m sort of in charge of you. Isn’t that scary?

Who’s the boss? Me, actually. Not Tony Danza with his wonderful tapdancing moves.

 

Love,

Daddy

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My “Only Child” And His “Pretend Friends”

April 14, 2014 at 9:44 pm , by 

3 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

Something I’ve heard grown “only children” tell me about their own childhood is that they always had “pretend friends”. I am seeing that concept in action every day with you.

At the grocery store, in the car, at school, at church..

You have three favorites: “Ellie” the purple elephant, featured in The Nose Book, from the $5 section at Kohl’s; “Cheetie” the blue cheetah from the discount rack at Kroger; and “Panda” the red panda you created at Build-A-Bear for your 3rd birthday.

This past week the three of them were anointed as VIPs when you provided them their own t-shirts, to make them more like real friends.

I should point out that two of those shirts are actually mine from circa 1983, but hey, I don’t mind.

One of my favorite parts about your pretend friends is how you call out to them throughout the day, not speaking to them further until they answer you.

And by “they,” I mean Mommy or myself.

By default, I have learned that I provide the voice for Panda and Cheetie, because apparently they’re boys, while Mommy is the voice for Ellie because she’s a girl.

However, you call out to Ellie (the girl) far more than you do Panda and Cheetie (the boys).

What’s funny is that the voices Mommy provides for the female friends are in falsetto, so you have difficulty figuring out whether it’s really Mommy responding… because at least half the time it’s actually me, trying to trick you.

“Hey Ellie?” you call out to the next room.

“Yes?” I reply, in a falsetto that sounds pretty much identical to Mommy’s.

“No, Daddy! You’re not a girl!” you always explain.

Yet, sometimes, even when Mommy answers you in her “Ellie” voice, you still wait for me to try to “trick” you just so you can reprimand me.

Your three friends have been so good to you, that Mommy recently had to run them through the washing machine, then set them out in the sun to dry.

(Mommy and I explained that your friends have to take baths just like you do.)

I think it’s fun that you have three pretend friends that wear my old t-shirts from when I was your age.

At least I can see your friends… so much better than imaginary friends.

We keep asking you if you want a brother or sister, but you insist on a  real dog instead.

Eh… I think we’re better off with a purple elephant, a blue cheetah, and a red panda… all of which wear t-shirts. Plus, I don’t have to feed these animals like I would a real dog.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

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The Relevant Rise Of Bronies: Neo-Masculinity

April 12, 2014 at 10:38 pm , by 

3 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack, I felt it was my duty to try to understand the “bronies” movement. All I knew is that there are apparently young men (typically ages 18 to 35) who arelegitimate fans of the kids’ TV show, “My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.” “Bro’s” and “ponies” equals “bronies.” The thing that makes bronies so interesting is that… (I’m trying to think of an appropriate, inoffensive, non-judgmental, politically correct, social media friendly way to say it)… They’re not of any particular demographic; especially not the one that most people might assume. In fact, according to this brony survey (page 7), 70% of bronies… (How can I again safely and appropriately say this?) … 70% of bronies like girls. Most bronies, other than liking a TV show that was intended for little girls, are not necessarily otherwise into “countercultural” things. I learned this when I saw the documentary “Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans Of My Little Pony” on Netflix. As I watched the documentary, seeing the bronies made me think of Star Wars fans, or Star Trek fans, or comic book fans.

From what I can see, bronies are pretty much just regular dudes who happen to really appreciate the acceptance of all people, as well as love and good morals… lessons I remember from the 1980s animated version of The Smurfs. (Though most male fans of the show are older, there are younger male fans as well. Just recently, the story of 9 year-old Grayson Bruce went viral, when his mom claimed that school officials banned his brony backpack because it was a trigger for bullying.) Again, I felt it was my duty, as the dad of a son who for all I know may be interested in being a brony one day, to check out “My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic” for myself. So I watched the first episode. And it wasn’t really my thing. However, I think I can personally relate to where bronies are coming from… I remember in high school thinking how it would be cool in a nostalgic way to put a rainbow sticker on the back window of my Bronco II. Simply because rainbows are happy and make me think of the 1980s… like the famous PBS painter Bob Ross and his “happy little clouds.” But then I realized that’s not how it would be perceived by most people. I didn’t want to have to keep explaining myself over and over what the rainbow simply meant to me personally, so I decided to the leave the rainbow alone. Instead, when I graduated 15 years ago in 1999, I walked the stage in my yellow Saucony Jazz running shoes, which I happen to still own and even wore today to the Vanderbilt scrimmage football game. Those shoes are, in a way, my version of a rainbow sticker. They were my way of personally “disidentifying” with the extremes of American masculinity, as a man. Still today, if I were forced to choose between identifying as a butch or a femme to decribe myself, which I feelis the way the mainstream media portrays men in the polarized society I believe we live in, I would choose neither: I would chose brony. I would choose to be the male protagonist of the Nicholas Sparks book. I would choose to be Jim Halpert from The Office. Or Peeta from The Hunger Games. In other words, I embrace neo-masculinity. It’s a natural and relevant combination of being both sensitive and masculine, which is what I know I have to be, as an active and involved father to you and husband to Mommy. I like the way Lauren Faust, the developer of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, stated this concept in the documentary Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans Of My Little Pony:

“We need to allow men to be sensitive and to care about one another and not call them weak for caring.”

Okay then. I’ve done the homework. I don’t fear you becoming a brony one day. I understand and appreciate what they represent. Until then, I’ll continue teaching you why Captain America is actually the coolest. Love, Daddy

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Potential Parenting Trend: Dubble App Sonograms

April 5, 2014 at 2:18 pm , by 

3 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

There’s nothing like seeing your child’s sonogram picture for the first time. It’s like Christmas when you’re a kid.

That’s why I think this is a cool story…

Back in the year 2000, I attended a one year Bible college in Hudson, Florida with a guy named Bryce Olson. That summer I was a camp counselor with him and I just remember he was a cool person to be around.

Flash forward 14 years later. Now he and I are both in our early 30s and are Facebook friends.

He always has interesting pictures.

That was definitely the case last week when he posted this mash-up of his sonogram picture and a random stranger’s picture of the sky.

It’s worth checking it out so I’m spreading it Facebook and Twitter too.

I think it’s an epic idea- combining sonograms with other pictures.

How cool it would be if this idea went viral? I would love to see people start uploading their sonograms to Dubble  and posting the results on social media with a special hash tag, like #dubbleappsonogram.

Maybe I should start promoting that idea to other people? I will close with this Facebook comment that my friend Bryce included with his “Dubble app sonogram”.

Love,

Daddy

“So, I recently got this app called Dubble where it generates an image from a photo you submit along with someone else’s photo that is randomly selected.

What I LOVE about this image so much is that this sonogram photo that we had taken this past week was combined with a photo someone took of the sky.

To my wife @natalieohhh and I, this, which is our first pregnancy, involved over 2 years of trying, prayers, let-downs, tears, frustration, and answered prayers with ultimately God’s hand and perfect timing throughout it all.

We are people who live by faith and believe with all of our hearts it is God who gives life. We have been praying for His will be done and we are continuing to pray this as we have a long way still to go and a lifetime ahead of us to love this, already-living being.

My beautiful wife, Natalie is going to be such an incredible momma and I am asking for God’s strength to be a great father as well. We believe life is a miracle and we will never take this pregnancy for granted and we know it is a miracle.

I pray that whoever took this photo of the sky believes in the God of creation as well and knows the love of the Father, Son & Spirit. As we look to the sky may we all know that there is someone out there who not only created us but also cares and loves us so deeply and intimately.

Thank you Lord for saving my soul and we commit this child to you and are so very thankful! #dubble by mbryceo & pearlthomasdocpho @dubbleapp #dubbleapp ”

 

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It’s A Good Thing For Little Boys To Get Their Clothes Dirty

March 16, 2014 at 9:48 am , by 

3 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

Yesterday morning as we were hanging out at the park, waiting for the Monster Jam truck show to begin, you got your clothes pretty dirty.

As Mommy put it, “Jack, you smell like a boy.”

That’s what she says after you’ve had a lot of fun outside, doing what little boys should be doing:

Running around, crashing your toy monster trucks into each other, rolling in the leaves, lying on the ground, touching random people’s pet ferrets…

Yeah, you managed to do all those things in a 45 minute time span.

In essence, all the clothes you wear are “play clothes.”

Because honestly, when are you not playing and getting dirty?

I know these days there are so many rules and expectations about boys “behaving” in a classroom setting.

That’s why when you’re not in school, I encourage you to let loose.

You’re a boy.

I want you to feel like one. I want you to feel like you can be one.

It’s important to me that you can be yourself and express your energy in a harmless way… by getting your clothes dirty.

Granted, our family is very into hygiene.

But there’s definitely a difference between germs and dirt.

I don’t like germs.

However, dirt I don’t have a problem with. Hey, it’s natural. It’s the Earth itself, right?

So sure, you washed your hands after petting the ferret… only to get them dirty again by lying down on the sidewalk.

Like riding on the front of a grocery shopping cartor running around aimlessly in open-ended public spaces, it’s just one more thing that little boys are supposed to do: Get dirty.

I want you to be disciplined and respectful and kind.

But I also want you to enjoy the fresh air, the green grass, and the brown dirt.

It’s only natural. Literally.

 

Love,

Daddy