Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Spirituality

It’s Easier To Ask Forgiveness Than To Ask Permission

May 13, 2013 at 10:05 pm , by 

2 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

You have officially learned to spit. That’s both a good and a dangerous thing.

It’s good because it’s an important part of brushing your teeth. It’s a dangerous thing because I have to trust that you’re not going to spit at an inappropriate time or place.

I guess I make it more alluring for you to want to spit because over the past couple of months, I have taken up the Indian folk remedy of “oil pulling.”

Yes, I know it sounds weird. But two or three times a week on the drive to school, I swish coconut oil around my mouth for 20 minutes (it helps serve as a natural mouthwash and preventative of headaches for me) and then at the Nippers Corner crossing, I spit the coconut oil out my car window.

I always feel bad for whoever’s in the car behind me, especially if it’s a woman. I’m sure they assume I just got sick.

Each morning as you and I are getting ready to leave the house, you always ask me, “You gonna put that stuff in yo’ mouth?”

Watching me do my oil pulling is normal to you by now. However, I don’t think you’re totally clear on when it’s okay to spit.

With that being said, this past weekend on Mother’s Day, when Mommy told you that you couldn’t have a 2nd granola bar, but  instead that you’d have to eat more of the main lunch she prepared for you, you acted like you were about to spit at her.

After I put you in a time-out session providing me with enough time for finish my own lunch, I had you apologize to Mommy:

“I sorry, Mommy.”

You saw how important it was for you to apologize, so then about 10 minutes later, you apologized to Mommyagain.

Within the hour, you had begun using “I sorry, Mommy” as a new way to ask for things.

“I play with Play-Doh? I sorry, Mommy.”

I guess it’s an interesting spin on the saying, “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.”

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Hiding From My Son That Dinosaurs Are Extinct

May 9, 2013 at 9:49 pm , by 

2 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

If weather permits, Mommy and I are taking you to the zoo this weekend.

However, I think you’ve made some assumptions about what will be on exhibit there.

As I walked you into school this morning, you couldn’t hold in the excitement:

“We see dinosaurs at the zoo!”

It was at that moment this occurred to me: You have no idea that dinosaurs haven’t existed on this Earth in a very long time.

Really though, why would you not thinkdinosaurs are still around?

After all, I just bought you a plastic T-Rex to wrestle your monster trucks. Therefore, you have assumed that dinosaurs and monster trucks are age-old rivals.

It doesn’t help that over the weekend you watched an episode of Transformers: Rescue Bots, as well as the 1981 animated Spider-Man series, where the plot involved dinosaurs coming to life in modern day, causing chaos and therefore invoking the help of the good guys to save everyone.

When your teacher, Ms. Lauren, asked you what else besides dinosaurs you are excited to see at the zoo this weekend, you quickly responded: “Trucks. Fire trucks.”

Son, this may be a very disappointing visit to the zoo. Hopefully, I can pass off the iguanas as “baby dinosaurs.”

It’s just that I feel compelled to protect your belief in dinosaurs. I kind of don’t want you to find out the truth about them.

So that’s what will happen. I will encourage and build up your version of reality where dinosaurs are still alive in the world. Because honestly, that sounds like a pretty cool version of reality. Who am I to mess that up for you right now?

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Even If We’re Just Dancing In The Dark

May 8, 2013 at 10:21 pm , by 

2 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

Last week as I was putting you to bed one night, in the pitch dark, I heard you say, “Here, Daddy…”.

Expecting for you to give me one of your half a dozen Hot Wheels cars as a parting gift before I made my way downstairs, I reached out my hand.

My instant response: “Ewwwww! GROSS!”

Yes, it was a big, long, slimy booger you had just picked fresh for me. It felt like the size of a caterpillar.

That sort of ruined the whole ambiance of the “settle down” part of the night.

Another strange surprise I experienced, also while putting you down for the night, was when I asked you which song you wanted me to sing for your bedtime song.

Your request: “Nooning.”

Having no clue what that was supposed to mean, I started singing the word “nooning” to a made-up tune I hoped would sound like some famous traditional Chinese folk song.

You interrupted my glorious musical number: “No! Talk about it!”

Talking about “nooning” was definitely more difficult than singing it; I must admit.

At that moment, I imagined you as a toddler talk show host, introducing the topic for the episode that day.

During those final minutes before I officially put you to bed before leaving the room each night, you basically just see what kind of random stuff you can say and get away with… and so do I.

To celebrate our mutual randomness in the pitch black darkness of your bedroom at 7:43 PM each night, I have now added Bruce Springsteen’s 1984 hit “Dancing In The Dark” to my list of bedtime songs to sing as I’m holding you.

When it comes to intercepting caterpillar-like boogers and trying to figure out what “nooning” really is, this gun’s for hire.

Even if we’re just dancing in the dark.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

My Firm Decision To Get A Gun For The House (Or Not To)

May 7, 2013 at 9:13 pm , by 

2 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

Yesterday’s “Should Daddy Get A Gun For The House?” originally had a different ending, in which I made it clear whether or not I decided to get a gun.

However, at the very last minute right before I published the letter, Mommy and I decided that broadcasting to the social media world whether or not we have a gun in the house is not a wise decision.

I think that to announce either way is to raise a red flag.

So in the likeness of the vague closure in the final episode of Lost, I ended the letter by simply saying, “My research is complete and my decision is now made.”

The way I see it, whether or not I own a gun is not really the issue; for me, anyway. The real issue for me was sorting out whether or not I am really capable, willing, and ready at all times to take the life of another human being who threatens the safety of my family.

That was what was important to me; taking the time to truly process that all the way through.

Like planning out a fire drill, in my head I have now mapped out an official “intruder drill.” Now I know the quickest and most efficient strategy for obtaining the [deadly weapons] on both floors of our house; in addition to immediately grabbing the cell phone to call 911.

It sounds so morbid, to say that I’m now ready to take the life of another human being, if necessary. And to be ready to do that at any given minute of the day.

But like Sayid on Lost, you want to have somebody on your island who is willing to be your bodyguard; someone who is always ready to fight and kill for you.

You want someone who is dangerous enough to keep you safe.

That person is me.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Photo: A toy hand gun, Shutterstock.

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Should Daddy Get A Gun For The House?

May 6, 2013 at 9:35 pm , by 

2 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

For the past two weeks, I have been spending a lot of my time trying to figure out the best answer to the question: Should I get a gun for our house?

Just to be clear, here are questions I am not asking today:

Should gun laws be changed?

Should no one in America have a gun in their house?

Should everyone in America have a gun in their house?

This is simply about us; our family. What other families choose to do in regards to protecting themselves is none of my concern or business.

However, I do know that every family whose political and/personal beliefs allow the option of owning a gun has had to deal with this question: Should we get a gun for our house?

So I did my homework. I borrowed a few issues of Concealed Carry magazine from a friend from work. Coincidentally, a coupon came through the fax machine for a handgun permit class that same day.

I had some lengthy conversations with the three coworkers who have concealed weapon permits; one of whom is a former cop of seven years.

In the end, the former cop with a concealed weapon permit and two young children was the most convincing.

I have no idea if he is a Democrat, Republican, or a Libertarian, like me. What I do know, his answer made the most sense, without any political strings attached.

His advice was this: Should you decide to get a gun, after you spend the time and money to get trained on how to use it, then, find an easy access place to keep the gun, but a place that is also out of reach of a child, you have to be confident you’ll be able to quickly turn on the light, to make sure who exactly you are aiming at, to make sure it really is an intruder. Also, you must be psychologically prepared to take the life of a person who is threatening your family’s safety.

It was important for me to hear and consider all that goes into owning a gun. The most valuable lesson for me to learn in my research was this: To get a gun is one thing; to get one and be ready and responsible from all aspects is another.

My research is complete and my decision is now made.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

P.S. To read the follow-up to this letter, which further explains (or blurs) my decision, click here.

 

Photo: Wooden Catapult Gun, Shutterstock.