December 19, 2012 at 12:11 am , by Nick Shell

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

Mommy and I couldn’t help but notice the consistency between random strangers’ comments when they see you in public.

They either A) comment by saying, “Wow, you’re a big boy!” or B) they assume you’re 3 years old instead of 2.

I’m intrigued by this phenomenon. Why do strangers, and even my co-workers who see your pictures hanging up at my cubicle, assume you’re a year older than you actually are?

It might be assumed because of your size, but here’s the thing, kid: You couldn’t be a more average-sized 2-year-old boy. The doctor confirmed at your 2 year check-up that you are in the 50th percentile for height and weight.

As I’ve explained before, you’ll grow to be about 5’8”, which is double your current height of 34 inches.

Could it be that you “act older?” Maybe, but your vocabulary doesn’t seem to reflect that of a 3-year-old.

Maybe it’s that these random strangers don’t have daily access to a 2-year-old boy, to know what’s normal. Perhaps it’s been a decade or so since they were exposed to the accurate size and behavior of a 2-year-old.

This may seem like the strangest reason, but maybe it’s simply your hair that makes you seem older.

Mommy and I have been keeping your hair cut short on the sides and back; ever since you were just a few months old. We decided the default chili bowl haircut just wasn’t for you.

So whatever it it is, possibly even a combination of all the explanations, I have a feeling you will continue looking like you’re a year older than you are. Granted, your skin is as wrinkle-free as Ryan Seacrest’s, but you just have the look of a 3-year-old; whatever that is.

I’m really curious to know: How can you really tell a 2-year-old from a 3-year-old if they’re not standing right next to each other? Observe your 3-year-old friends at daycare tomorrow and let me know!

Love,

Daddy

December 9, 2012 at 9:47 pm , by Nick Shell

2 years.

Dear Jack,

I know that it’s normal for parents to bathe with their kids…up to a certain age.

After all, it saves water and time; both of which should be treated as the commodities they are.

So I also assume that in most American households it’s not so unusual for a child to bathe with a sibling either…but only up to a certain age.

Honestly, I’m not really sure when that age for me was. I just know that at some point family nudity became a thing of the foggy past.

There was no official conversation, no family talk about it, no overt incident where in the likeness of the fall of Adam and Eve, I suddenly realized it was a strange thing to be naked in front of (and with) my family.

But here’s the thing…

I have no plans to bathe with you; as in, I’m in the same bath water or under the same shower nozzle as you. It’s just a personal thing I guess, but I would rather help you bathe while I’m outside of the tub, instead of in the tub with you.

Somehow that makes me feel more in control of the process; like your bath director.

There are many things in this world that I am willing to share with you as your dad, but I don’t think I want bath water to be one of them.

That may seem like a double standard because I so quickly support you coming in the bathroom to watch me use the potty standing up.

For me though, there’s a difference. One seems natural and normal while the other makes me feel uncomfortable, somehow.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll cave when and if you end up with a brother or sister and I find myself so strapped for time that I actually think it’s easier to bathe with you. I can’t know for sure.

Maybe my hesitation has to do with the fact that I perceive taking a shower as a daily ritual where I can truly zone out. Maybe I just don’t want to sacrifice one of the few times of the day where I can actually do nothing and not be responsible for about 12 minutes.

And maybe this is simply more proof that I have no desire to be a helicopter parent. Attachment parenting is just not my style, kid.

I don’t know what percentage of parents, dads in particular, bathe with their young children. Assuming that percentage is the majority, I apologize in advance for all the trauma I will cause you by not sharing bathwater with you.

Love,

Daddy

November 1, 2012 at 3:08 pm , by Nick Shell

23 months.

Thank God. We are in the middle of our vacation week and Jack is sleeping all the way through the night.

It’s because of readers who commented on “Losing Sleep Over Where My Son Will Sleep (Part 1)” that we decided on our son’s sleeping arrangements while we’re staying out here in California:

We have pushed two twin beds together. One is against a wall, where Jack sleeps, and it is bordered with big pillows.

From the very first night, this system has worked well. I have no complaints and have experienced no stress in regards to Jack sleeping.

In fact, he almost sleeps better this way. Last night he slept for 12 and a half hours!

The first morning I was so happy that I promised to get him a treat.

We drove by a party store and let him pick out two Made-in-China plastic animals that cost 35 cents each, as well as, a 65 cent mini Rubik’s Cube.

For his animals, Jack chose another horse and sheep that looks like he peed over itself; it has a yellow underbelly. (Pictured right.)

So I haven’t turned into the Incredible Hulk and the three of us are very well rested on our vacation.

Use me as your Guinea Pig. If you are planning a vacation with a toddler who doesn’t sleep well in new environments, try what I did.

Put pillow borders around a bed that is against a wall and stick to your child’s normal bedtime rituals.

I’m not saying that we haven’t had a share of other behavioral issues since we’ve been here, though. Stay tuned for an upcoming post referring to India Syndrome.

But as long as everybody’s getting sleep here, I’ve got no complaints.

October 23, 2012 at 10:17 pm , by Nick Shell

23 months.

We’re not a family of beach bums. We’re the opposite; whatever the opposite of a beach bum is.

In other words, we like to go where the crowds aren’t and where the weather isn’t very hot.

Fortunately, my wife’s family is in Sacramento; which gives us a good and necessary reason to travel out there once a year.

This weekend, that’s where we will be flying. With Jack’s 2nd birthday coming up on November 16th, this is the last time we can take advantage of him getting to fly for free.

No doubt about it, I’m very excited to take a week off from work and travel to one of my favorite spots in America.

But of course, I’m looking at this from a realistic perspective. A “vacation” with a nearly 2-year-old where we’re flying cross-country is not exactly a vacation for me.

I don’t mind being a glorified version of a stage hand while my wife catches up with her family and gets to see Jack, after over a year since last time.

Even the plane ride with Jack doesn’t intimidate me much. After all, I survived it last year when he was much more high maintenance.

The only thing that worries me is where he will sleep. It’s a really big deal to me.

If he doesn’t get good, consistent nights of sleep while we’re out there, I will turn into the Incredible Hulk.

(Not the updated Avengers movie version, but the 1978 Lou Ferrigno TV show.)

I don’t like me when I’m angry. When Jack doesn’t sleep well, neither do I; then I turn into a monster.

Jack still sleeps in his crib and he has outgrown his Pack N Play.

So one option is to put up some safety rails alongside a twin bed once we get there.

Another option is to buy a cheap or used Pack N Play as soon as we arrive, but A) I don’t want to have to worry about that after getting off the plane and B) I don’t want to spend money on something I may not be able to bring back home.

The best case scenario is we find a friend or family member who has a Pack N Play that we can borrow while we’re there, but no luck on that so far.

I guess this dilemma took the back burner in the midst of planning not only the trip out there but also Jack’s birthday party for that side of the family.

But here we are, days away from leaving, and I don’t have closure with this.

To dissect why this causes so much turmoil and unsettledness for me, it is because it’s my job to get Jack to sleep for all his naps and bedtimes. That’s one of the things I do! I’m very proud of that skill.

Without me getting him to sleep, it’s a world suspended in chaos. Bad things, man.

Getting Jack to sleep is something I’m an expert on. But without the appropriate place for him to fall asleep, I can’t work my magic.

The world is coming to an end.

To be continued…