Health

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

Dadvice #7: A Skeptic’s Letter To Intactivists

March 30, 2012 at 11:39 pm , by 

16 months.

Dear Intactivists,

I have enjoyed this past week or so as we’ve debated “pro-circumcision vs. Intactivism.” You all have enlightened me. I respect your cause. In fact, I would like to officially crown you the winner.

You win, in the sense that I now see “staying intact” as a legitimate and respectable alternative to circumcision.

You win, in the sense that you seized the opportunity to use the comments sections of both Dadvice #5: How Is It Natural To Circumcise Your Son? and Dadvice #6: Is Circumcision Unnecessary And/Or Immoral to inform not just me, but anyone curious enough to watch our debate, with a plethora of knowledge that we normally would not have exposure to.

You win, in the sense that you have proven that Intactivists can make a powerful presence and be very persuasive.

(In regards to me being curious to hear from those who oppose circumcision but are pro-choice regarding abortion, I realize now that was completely fruitless. I forget that those who are pro-choice don’t regard a fetus as a human life because of the technicality that he or she hasn’t either passed through the birth canal or been surgically removed via C-section. So you’re right; there’s really no comparison.)

In the end, however, I am still sticking to my beliefs on why I personally support circumcision, for the very reasons I have already explained. So while you did win the debate for the world to see, you didn’t win me over.

That’s not a lack on your part; you can’t help my resoluteness.

Throughout our debate, I have asked professionals (doctors, medical students, and an owner of a day care) for their personal takes on the necessity of circumcision; not hinting at my own stance before inquiring them. All their experience-based answers reflected my own beliefs.

If not, I would have been willing to change my mind on this.

Therefore, I believe it’s fair to say that I have been pretty open-minded to what is a new concept for me: Intactivism.

And I guess that’s what bothers me about Intavistism. I don’t see how as its subscribers you are open-minded to any other viewpoint on this: Either all or nothing.

It’s been made pretty clear to me now that unless I vow to circumcise my next (yet to be conceived or born) son, then I am ultimately making a selfish, prideful, self-serving, immoral choice.

Go back and read all the comments on those two posts. Notice how few Intactivists had any words or even tones of encouragement. (Some did.)

But for the most part, I was shouted at (indicated by ALL CAPS, re-occuring italics and exclamation points!) and spoken to in a sharply condescending tone.

It has been demonstrated to me that in the blogosphere, Intactivists have power in their large presence, but overcompensate their passion and zeal in a way that comes across as bullying. Yes, bullying.

Not that I am offended. I instead find the whole thing to be such a curious event.

I am convinced that the comments left on a blog post can easily send a stronger message than the one the actual author writes. The way the majority of Intactivists have chosen to represent themselves, as a whole, is clear for anyone (including those readers who pondering Intactivism) to go back and read.

I think with a better bedside manner, Intactivists could really get their point across in a way that is not so loud that we “cutters” can not hear it. I question your approach, not your morality or your competence; like I feel you have done towards me.

That’s my constructive criticism; though again, ultimately, the way Intactivists have represented themselves in my comments sections is not the reason for my refusal to convert.

This is not an emotional experience for me. It is for you. I think that’s where the disconnect is between us.

Sincerely, I thank you for what I have learned about circumcision from you. These deep discussions have indirectly caused me to think of other hot button issues (or at least strangely moral ones) like “how young is too young to medicate a child for ADHD and/or depression?” (Obviously, I’ll be publishing that one soon, along with one about how questioning if surgical birth control, getting snipped, is like playing God.)

No matter what, we’re still cool. I enjoy being your frenemy. Let me know the next time you’re in Nashville; I’ll let you buy me a Starbucks.

 

Your Open-minded, Yet Barbarically Cut Fellow Parent,

Nick Shell

 

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

Dara-Lynn Weiss Puts 7 Year-Old Daughter On Abrasive Diet

March 28, 2012 at 10:31 pm , by 

16 months.

This week there has been a lot of negative buzz going on about a writer for Vogue magazine who reacted to her 7 year-old daughter’s obesity by placing her on an unforgiving, calorie-counting diet. (At 4 feet, 4 inches tall, her daughter weighed 93 pounds, placing her in the 99th percentile for her age; about 30 pounds overweight.)

I’m not even going to try to be neutral on this subject and end this article with, “What you do think, readers? Did this mom do the right thing?”

Because it’s this simple: The way this mom handled her daughter on a diet was illegitimate and a horrible example for her daughter. I’m not questioning her moral character, but her technique; because I believe it needs to be questioned:

“I once reproachfully deprived Bea of her dinner after learning that her observation of French Heritage Day at school involved nearly 800 calories of Brie, filet mignon, baguette, and chocolate. I stopped letting her enjoy Pizza Fridays when she admitted to adding a corn salad as a side dish one week.”

And I know, in American’s modern day parenting culture, it’s taboo to criticize another person’s parenting style; especially a woman’s, especially coming from a man’s perspective, especially in regards to dieting.

But I don’t care. Here’s my beef:

Weiss would restrict her daughter from enjoying birthday cakes at parties. She would not allow her to eat dinner if she had already consumed her daily amount of calories for the day. And then when he daughter finally lost the weight, she was rewarded her with new dresses.

Yikes. Not cool, Zeus.

I am extremely against counting calories in the name of losing weight. It sends the message that it’s okay to eat lunch from a fast food drive-thru as long as you make up for it by only eating celery sticks for dinner. That’s not a healthy approach.

It places the emphasis on “not being fat” as opposed to actually caring about being healthy. It focuses on superficial image instead of quality of life.

So what’s the magical alternative?

Nix soda and drinks with sugar added. Instead, drink plenty of water throughout the day.

Replace all white bread and pasta with wheat.

Reduce meat intake to 4 ounces per day.

For snacks, cut up actual pieces of fruit.

Make a point to include fresh vegetables in every dinner.

Whenever you’re hungry, eat; granted that it’s included the items listed above.

Enjoy dessert; just not everyday.

Go for a 25 minute walk everyday.

This is how I lost and have kept off my 25 pounds. This is how I helped my supervisor recently lose 33 pounds, so far. It’s a lifestyle change; not a diet, at all.

Most importantly, as a parent, we set the example for our kids. They learn from us, more than anyone else when it comes to nutrition and an active lifestyle.

Okay, so is anyone as fiery mad as I am about this?

Or instead, is there anyone out there willing to stand up for Weiss’s approach?

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

Dadvice #5: How Is It Natural To Circumcise Your Son?

March 20, 2012 at 11:19 pm , by 

16 months.

Though usually this series is for readers asking my unprofessional and unlicensed opinion as a dad, today’s episode is a strange exception. I will simply be responding to a good question asked by a reader of Dadvice #4: Would You Recommend Using A Midwife? when he left this comment:

“You chose to have ‘a natural as possible delivery’ but still chose to circumcise your son? There’s NOTHING natural about a circumcision…where’s the disconnect?”

You’re right. For a guy who is so self-proclaimed “natural” when it comes to medicine and food and lifestyle in general, it appears to be a double standard that I would force circumcision upon my son who was incapable of making that decision himself.

So how is circumcision natural? It’s not.

And that’s the whole point: Circumcision is not natural.

I do believe in the hype and subscribe to the dogma that circumcision is “cleaner” and prevents urinary track infections and all that good stuff that has not necessarily been clearly proven. I’m aware of all the arguments for and against circumcision: I read them all on Wikipedia today.

But for me, my support of circumcision is a personal one: It has to do with Biblical teachings. As I’m sure you know, circumcision goes back to a covenant between God and Abraham; a commandment for the Jews. From there, it also has become popular among Muslims and Christians.

In particular though, why would a Christian Gentile such as myself observe a commandment so blatantly Jewish? Why pick and choose certain parts of the Jewish law to observe when the Apostle Paul in the New Testament made it pretty clear that Christians do not have to eat kosher food or become circumcised?

With me being Mr. Natural and all, I pay special attention to the Old Testament concerning random commandments God gave to the Jews; because sometimes though not specifically mentioned, it has something to do with health.

He instructed them not to eat pork and shellfish; which are extremely low on the food chain.

God didn’t point out the fact that that eating pork would be the leading cause of people getting intestinal parasites, but it is. Why are so many people allergic to shellfish? Because they are the bottom feeders of the ocean; they are slightly toxic.

Why did God tell His people not to eat milk products with beef? Because, as a Jewish man from Israel explained it to me one time, eating the two together in the same meal slows down digestion and promotes constipation.

So two and a half years ago, I converted to a kosher diet. (That eventually led me to become a vegetarian.)

Similarly, I believe circumcision is like that. God didn’t make this commandment for His people in the name of health; but ultimately I think that has a lot to do with it.

Back to my point at the beginning, circumcision is not natural. Instead, it’s man’s recognition of God’s instruction and intervention.

And I think that concept has everything to do with faith in God: As a believer, I am constantly having to make a conscious decision to go against my own selfish desires; like choosing to love my neighbor as myself.

That is not natural.

Sure, ultimately I try to be as natural as I can. Unless I feel that there’s something health-wise I can learn by observing God’s random commandments with the Jewish people; though as a Christian, it’s not necessary I do so.

Yeah, I know: I’m kinda weird.

1 Comment Posted on Health, parenting

Dadvice #4: Would You Recommend Using A Midwife?

March 19, 2012 at 9:35 pm , by 

16 months.

Knowing that my wife Jill and I were gung-ho about have a natural as possible delivery for our son back in November 2010 and used a group of midwives featured on TLC’s “Baby’s First Day,” a Dadabase reader asks about our thoughts on it in retrospect.

“Hey Nick and Jill!

I am pregnant again.  Although I had a natural and mostly intervention free labor and delivery with my first child, I had to fight for what I wanted the whole time.

Thinking about doing all that again makes me anxious and exhausted. I’ve seen the show on TLC ‘Baby’s First Day’ that takes place at Vanderbilt and it appears they are very natural friendly. Is it really like that?

From what I’ve found on the web I don’t see any restrictions for sibling visitors any time of the year. Is there any particular midwife or group you would recommend?

I know there will be a higher price tag to deliver outside of our town (Clarksville, TN) and the inconvience of driving to Nashville for all the prenatal appointments but I think the end result will be positive.

Thanks for taking time to help me out!”

It’s funny; we were actually invited to be featured on the first season of “Baby’s First Day” because decided against since all we’d get for our trouble was a free DVD of the episode we’d appear on. Interestingly, one the women who gave birth the same night as Jill is on one of those episodes. Could have been us…

To answer your question, I passionately recommend going through the Vanderbilt Nurse-Midwives in Nashville and I think it would be worth the drive for all your appointments.

I just hope you don’t get Elaine: During one of the appointments she told me to make my hands into a vagina and then she demonstrated forcefully how to massage to bring upon the labor process. That was with my mother-in-law in the room.

Awk-ward…

Other than that, we couldn’t have been more pleased. They completely respected all of our wishes concerning our attempt to go “all natural” to the end. In fact, if we have another child, we will absolutely be going through them again.

Regarding visitors, I can tell you this: The morning after Jack was born, among the visitors was a couple with a toddler and an infant. Those kiddos made it through so I imagine your child will permitted without any hassle.

If you haven’t already watched “The Business of Being Born” on Netflix streaming, I think it would be a great idea to get you even more pumped up about doing this your way; with the encouragement of midwives.

And congratulations!

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

My 16 Month-Old Son’s Febrile Seizure

March 18, 2012 at 9:31 pm , by