Bummer, man.
I’ve learned something about disappointments that has recently helped me to deal with them a whole let better: It’s not so much about the fact that I’m not getting my way. It’s more about the fact I had already set my mind on one thing and now am getting something else instead.
Let’s assume we’re not childish. Let’s assume that we don’t let our day become ruined because they were all out of Hazelnut syrup at Starbucks and we had to settle for vanilla, which when it comes down to it, we like just as much.
The problem is the change itself in the plans. It’s not my way that got compromised, it’s my plan. My plan got compromised.
Looking at it this way has helped me realize the problem isn’t necessarily the fact I’ve been duped or got the short end of the stick. The problem is that I’m being forced to recognize a part of life I keep forgetting:
I have direction over my life, but I don’t have complete control.
Control is a perceived thing, not an actual one. I can never have complete control over my own life. And that is one of the most relieving yet at the same time stressful things about being alive.
“The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.” -Proverbs 16:1
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Sorry to burst your bubble, but you do have control over almost everything in your life. The only things you cannot control in your life are events caused by other people such as getting killed in a car accident (you still can be a more defensive driver). We control our actions, thoughts, and words. This is basically everything in life, and we have control. There are always going to be instances in which we disagree with the situation, but our reaction dictates what happens next. Every time you feel sad, angry, or anxious you have the ability to change that. Every one of those feelings are caused by our self-perception of the events that happen around us. If someone dies that you are close to, you have two options; celebrate their life or mourn their death. Either way you slice it, it is always up to you.
p.s. don’t feed that shit the answer of the tongue is from the lord… The heart, the tongue, and the mind are all yours be strong and control your own life.
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